Chapter 5: My Immortal

            Rogue and Kitty spent a lot of time on the dance floor, loud music blaring, pulsing through the floor, and they danced wildly and energetically forgetting the troubles of the night.    Lights flashing and dappling the room, alcohol in their systems, it was beginning to become a lot of fun.

            And then, for some reason, the music suddenly stopped midway a song, and there was some grumbling behind the DJ booth heard slightly through the microphone that was still on.

            "What's going on?" Kitty asked curiously.

            "Don't know," Rogue was confused.

            "Hey, its 2am…we should go now," Kitty admitted.

            "Wait, we might as well find out what's going…on…" Rogue watched Remy LeBeau appear behind the DJ booth, he seemed to be speaking to the DJ.

            "Oh god, whats he doing…" Kitty gaped.

            "I don't know…" Rogue stepped a little closer to the DJ booth, people were standing everywhere with total looks of confusion and protests of the music having stopped.

            The DJ finally spoke, "Alright folks, we don't NORMALLY do this, but a request for a slow song has come in…"

            "A slow song in a Goth club?" Kitty asked incredulously.

            "Remy's doing, I bet," Rogue rolled her eyes.

            "Alright here we go, this is 'My Immortal' by Evanescence, played especially for Remy's 'Chere'," The DJ sounded slightly confused, but put the song on.

            The music began to play, it chilled Rogue to the bone when it did.  It had been a song she had never heard before, but the words

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

Then you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Rogue stood silently listening, and Remy walked over to her, he looked at her, and the song continued to play, the lyrics speaking to her on very personal levels, and she wondered if maybe Remy was trying to tell her how he was feeling, or…if he was just trying to seduce her into trusting him or loving him again.

"Rogue, I think we should go," Kitty said, tugging at Rogue's sleeve.

"In a minute," Rogue promised, she looked at Remy.

Kitty sighed, "I'll wait in the hallway," she stated, and walked off, knowing that once again, Rogue needed time alone with Remy to resolve this, she was only hoping that Rogue would not take Remy LeBeau back again, ever.

Rogue looked at Remy, "Why are you doin' this to me?"

Remy slipped his arms and swayed her to the music that was playing so softly, with only piano and a soothing voice, a song that didn't belong there, and yet, people were dancing, and lulled into it.  Rogue put her arms slowly around his neck.

"I still can't forgive you," Rogue looked at him, "don't think that all this music and the dancing is going to win me over like it did that last time – because it's not, you better understand that."

"I know that…" Remy sighed, "doesn't mean I still can't tell you how I'm feeling…and this song…this song is exactly what I feel…"

Rogue tried not to cry, "don't do this to me, please…I can't take anymore…" she pleaded, feeling as if her heart were breaking again, perhaps worse than it had that Saturday morning.

Remy, who was now wearing gloves, placed his hand upon her cheek, "Chere, I can't take any more either…so…I'm gonna say this, and please hear me out…" he held his breath for a moment.  "I care so badly for you…and I want your forgiveness, I know you can't forgive me, but it won't change how sorry I am, and always will be, I know I fucked up royally…" he looked at her with his dark eyes, "I know I hurt you, I betrayed you, I turned your life upside down, I made you feel so much pain inside…" he stroked her cheek with the backs of his gloved fingers, "And I know you never wanted me near you again, but I'd like to come back to the X-Men, where I feel at home…with you, with everyone else…but if you don't want me there, then I won't come back…simple as that."

Rogue looked at him.

"If you tell me you…" he trailed off, his voice cracking with emotion, then he pulled himself together, "okay, if you tell me you seriously don't love me, or don't care for me, and don't want me back, I will go back to New Orleans, and I will marry Bella Donna, so I am out of your life…if that's what you want me to do."

Rogue sighed, "Remy…I…I don't want you to go and marry some girl you don't love…" she sighed.

Remy looked at her, "You don't?  You told me you did last week…"

            "Last week I was so mad at you…" Rogue sighed, "I was madder at you than I've ever been before…and I'm still mad, but I don't…hate you…not really…"

            Remy looked at her, "So…where do we stand."

            "Thing is…I could…live with you being one of the X-Men, and I could live with you living in the same house, and I could live with fighting along side of us and being my friend, but we…we don't stand anywhere, I don't think we could ever really…y'know…have anything between us anyway."

            "Chere, you know we could…" Remy looked at her.

            "No…we can't, I can't touch people, and you've betrayed me too many times…" Rogue looked at him, "if you wanna come back to the X-Men, then that's your choice," she said.  "But if you come back, you have to know that there's not anything between us – and never will be, ever."

            Remy looked at her, "are you sure that's what you want."

            Rogue let go of him as the song ended, and she stepped back, "no…" she admitted, "But that's how it has to be…"

            Remy looked at her, "so you're leaving the final decision to me?"

            "Yes," Rogue looked at him, "you're a grown man, and you can do what you want…" Rogue chewed her lip, she reached up with her gloved hand and placed it upon his cheek, he took her hand in both of his and kissed it lightly.

            "Except I can't," Remy looked at Rogue, "You're sayin' if I come back to the X-Men, I must forfeit ever believing I could be with you…"

            "Yeah," Rogue pulled her hand slowly away from him, her eyes tearing up.

            "Now you're making this hard for me…" he looked at her.

            "I know…its hard for me too…"

            "There must be another way…" he drew his breath he scratched the back of his neck, and took his bandana off afterwards, and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

            "No…this is the way it has to be," Rogue stated, "Just trust that."

            Remy looked at her, "Then…I need time to think…"

            "Alright…" Rogue nodded, "bye…" she murmured.

            "Bye, Chere…" Remy whispered, and watched her leave him, disappearing down the hallway to where Kitty was, and then disappearing off out of sight.  He had a tough choice to make now.