Chapter EIGHT! Sorry for the late post (night-wise, days-long-wise); I hit snag in this chapter about 2/3 of the way through, but my muse finally got off her butt late late last night and gave me some thoughts that I let simmer all day before I finally sat down to write tonight. I hope you guys enjoy it. Shocking to see that this is winding down, but hey, all good things must come to an end. Thanks for not killing me for being too evil and enjoy the next section! (Oh, and disclaimers apply, as always.)
Unexpected, Month 8… So To Speak
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Morning was slow in coming, barely letting its rays make its way across the carpet in time with the deep breathing coming from the bed in the middle of the room. Without the hint of sound, the light crept up on the bottommost edge of a thick blanket, slowly traveling upwards until it began to warm a flung out hand, traced up the arm and to the adjoining body.
Lex reflexively blinked in his sleep, his eyelids closing tightly against the sun that had gained on his face. Yawning sleepily, he turned his face away and finally opened his eyes, blinking slightly as everything came into view. Something felt off about the morning, though he hadn't been awake but seconds.
Pushing one hand out to the side, Lex became aware of just what was missing. His hand grasped cool sheets as he looked over and saw that the other side of his bed was empty. He coughed slightly and called out lightly, "Chloe?"
No answer.
The blankets were pushed to the side as Lex scratched idly behind an ear, carefully listening for any late response. When it didn't come, he sighed and began to pull clothes out of his closet. He was in an out of the shower in a flash, soon dressing quickly in slacks and long-sleeved shirt. A dark jacket had barely been thrown on when he pressed the intercom button next to the doorway. "Louis, are you there?"
"Yes, Mr. Luthor," came the prompt reply. "I have the car ready for when you want to leave."
"Thank you," Lex said. "I'll meet you outside in two minutes."
True to his word, Lex was just crossing the threshold of his home when Louis brought the car around. Nodding his head slightly, Louis handed over the key and volunteered, "Mrs. Luthor left about two hours ago and requested that you not be woken up."
"I expected as much," Lex muttered. Shrugging it off, he said, "I'll be back some time later today, I'm not sure when."
"Very well." Without another word, Louis disappeared into the house.
Lex glanced at his watch as he slid into the car, grumbling to himself. Instead of saying anything out loud, he vented his frustrations on the stick shift, slamming into each gear as he sped down the road. He wanted to be mad at her for leaving without him, but Lex had known that Chloe wouldn't have been able to help herself. He'd spent half the night trying to sleep while she tossed and turned beside him. He had to wonder if she'd ever fallen asleep at all.
Spurred on by the thought of her waiting, he thrust his foot down on the gas pedal, leaving a cloud of dust behind him.
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The helicopter blades were whirring quickly above his head, but Lex fought against the false wind and towards the man waiting at the edge of the helicopter pad.
"Pete!" Lex waved his hands in the air, as if his presence wasn't more than obvious.
"Lex," Pete looked more relieved than Lex had ever seen before. "Come on, she's downstairs. They were about to take her into surgery when I left!"
"Surgery?" They were running down the stairs in step with one another. "But what about-"
"I don't know!" Pete pulled at Lex's sleeve as he was about to slip on a step. "They thought the contractions could be stopped, but she got to feeling worse and the baby was getting more distressed, so they had to do it!"
Lex's stomach felt as it were dropping down to the level of his knees. When Pete saw the look on his face, he stopped suddenly, grabbing the other man's shoulders. Trying his best to look reassuring, Pete said, "Don't freak out, man, she doesn't need that right now. It's going to be okay, it has to be."
He was at a loss for words, so Lex could only nod numbly. When Pete saw him regain a little more control, he pushed him to keep going. They ran down the last flight of stairs from the pad and found themselves in the brightly lit hallways of Smallville Medical. Pete led the way towards the maternity ward, Lex following closely at his heels.
"Nurse Ratched!"
A short, rotund woman turned and glared at Pete. "That's not funny, Mr. Ross."
Pete cracked a strained smile. "Sorry, Nurse Hernandez. Look, Lex is here, he wants to go in."
The woman did not look impressed as she glanced quickly over both men. "I'm sorry, but Mrs. Luthor is about to undergo surgery right now, we can't let anyone in."
"Can't let anyone in?" Lex finally broke his silence out of astonishment. "I'm her husband, how can I not go in?"
"Hospital rules, Mr. Luthor," the nurse shrugged. "You'll have to wait out here."
Pete saw the volcano just as it was about to erupt. Placing a calming hand on Lex's shoulder, he turned to the nurse. "Okay, I know you're still mad about the cell phone-"
"Still mad, Mr. Ross? Just wait until I speak to your mother."
"Look, she's delivering too early, Chloe's scared out of her mind and Lex isn't exactly in the right state," Pete said quietly after a moment of horror at the thought about his mother hearing of his treading on the hospital regulations. "I know you've seen worse scenarios than this, but can't you just let him through. Just look at him."
Nurse Hernandez pursed her lips for a moment, barely showing sentiment as she turned her gaze over once more to Lex. Her pose relaxed, though, when she saw that he was chewing on his bottom lip so much that it was nearly worn raw. Even more so did she soften when all that could be seen in the normally feared Luthor's eyes was pure and complete terror all in themselves.
She sighed and shook her head, "They may have my head for this, but all right."
"Fantastic!" Pete whooped and began to lead Lex to the operating room doors.
"Now, wait a second!" They stopped just outside the doors when Nurse Hernandez ducked into the nurse's station, reappearing after a few seconds with a blue bundle in her hands. "I'm not about to break all the rules here. Mr. Luthor, you'll have to put this on first. There's a bathroom over there."
"I have to put what on?" The question was shortly answered when the bundle loosened in his hands, revealing scrubs at least a size too large for him. "You've got to be kidding me!"
"Don't make me change my mind, Mr. Luthor," Nurse Hernandez said threateningly.
He gave her an exasperated look, but the thought of Chloe inside of the operating room by herself made him put away any resentment. Too rushed to move down the hallway to where she'd directed him, Lex threw off his coat and began to yank at his tie after he'd passed the bundle to Pete. He was halfway done with unbuttoning his t-shirt when the nurse caught a hint at what he planned to do and began to object. He threw her one derisive look that made her stop short as he began to fight his cufflinks. Finally relieving himself of them, he stuffed them into Pete's hand. "Shirt."
Pete handed over the blue scrub shirt and Lex pushed his head and arms through quickly, moving onto his waistline. He barely gave a glance to the other few people in the hallway who were watching with interest as he handed Nurse Hernandez his belt, following with his shoes. Not in a moment to consider modesty (and to hell with his audience), Lex kicked off his pants and turned to his assistant. "Pants."
Seconds later, Lex was fighting with the tie at his waist, knotting it quickly as he stuffed his feet back into his shoes. Once done, he looked up at the waiting nurse. "I'm ready."
Nurse Hernandez cocked an eyebrow at him and handed him one more thing. "Not yet."
Lex looked down at the hair cap in his hands. Moments from a smartass rejection, he stopped when Pete elbowed him in the side. Giving Nurse Hernandez a warning glance, Lex plopped it on his head. "Can we go in now?"
Smiling superiorly, Nurse Hernandez chuckled and said, "We sure can."
********************************** ~ ***********************************
Pushing sunglasses on his face, Lex ducked his head and began to jostle his way through a throng of reporters and photographers. Questions were thrown at him from every direction, but he blatantly ignored them, even giving several hard glares over the rim of his frames to a select few. His impassive expression began to break, though, when he realized that Chloe must have gone through the same crowd only a couple hours before when she'd chosen to arrive before him. Frowning now, he stopped in place right before going inside the building and waited until the expected hush came over those around him.
Looking at all the cameras and blinking light surrounding him, bloodthirsty eyes waiting for any emotion, Lex set his shoulders straight. His voice was even and calm, betraying every feeling inside of him when he said, "I know why you are all here and I would appreciate it if you would leave. As much as I doubt you'll do that, please realize that this has been a very difficult time for my wife and I. If you have any ounce of decency in you, please vacate the premises immediately."
Before anyone could respond, Lex had turned his heel and walked through the doorway, guards ready to keep anyone from following him in.
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"What the hell is he doing in here?" A man standing over Chloe's sheet-draped body stared accusingly at Nurse Hernandez.
"Consider him my one pass, Dr. Weaver," she replied easily. "Surely, even you wouldn't keep a man from his wife's side at a time like this."
Dr. Weaver shrugged absently and went back to prepping for what was coming next. At least four other people were busy around him, rubbing iodine on Chloe's stomach, only a square revealed in a field of blue that matched Lex's scrubs. Others were consulting machines, giving Dr. Weaver advice in words that only Lex half-understood in his nervous state.
Vowing to keep from looking at where they made the incision, Lex quickly approached the other side of a sheet that appeared to be hung from a rod high above the bed Chloe lay on. He waited until he was in her field of view before quietly saying, "Chloe."
Her startled eyes turned to him from where she'd been staring at the nurses quickly walking throughout the room. "You made it."
"Yeah, I did," Lex said hoarsely, grabbing her hand and placing her knuckles to his lips. "It's the last place I expected to find you."
"You know me, always trying to be unique," Chloe said airily before her eyes appeared to lose focus and then once more concentrate on him. "When did you grow hair?"
Taken aback, Lex asked, "What?"
"Hair," she pointed vaguely at his head with her free hand, reaching up and removing the cap from his head. "Oh, good trick."
"Chloe?" Lex looked up expectantly at the nurse standing near them and quickly got an explanation.
"We had to give her a sedative," the nurse shrugged. "Nothing that will interfere, but it'll help keep her body calm during the procedure."
"Oh," enlightened, Lex looked down at Chloe as she stared upwards at him. "Chloe Luthor, drugged. Imagine what it'll be like when the Inquisitor finds out."
Chloe didn't appear to have heard what he said, instead her face grew tense and she whispered, "Why is she coming so early, Lex? It's too soon, she's too little. Doesn't she know it's too soon?"
"I know, baby, I know," Lex kissed her hand again and leaned into her. From behind him he heard Dr. Weaver announce the first incision and he shook his head to ignore them. "I guess he's on his own time table."
"You and that damn male heir of yours," Chloe mumbled. "I hope Ann-Marie was lying."
"Ann-Marie…" Lex squeezed his eyes shut and opened them, trying to get a handle on her conversation. "We have to pick out a name."
"Won't work," Chloe sighed. "You want a boy, I want a girl. If we're lucky, we'll get both."
"It's just one, Chloe, the doctor told us so," Lex assured her.
"Well, I figured with how weird we are, mixing them both into one body would make a lot of sense. Hermaphrodite Luthor, yeah that works."
His mouth picked up into a smile, but Lex lifted a hand and brushed her hair back from her face and tucked it underneath her own hair cap. He was studying her face intently when she said with a quavering voice, "I'm scared, Lex."
Her eyes right then were more focused then ever and Lex felt his stomach drop when he saw his own anxiety echoed there. But before he could reply, she continued, "What happens if the baby doesn't make it? What happens to us?"
Swallowing hard, Lex tried to sound confident when he said, "We aren't going to lose anything today, don't worry about it, okay? Let's just have this baby and then we can go home."
"I was so scared, Lex. It hurt so much, so damn much and I thought she wouldn't ever stop kicking. And Pete was out of his mind, trying to find your number. We needed you so much right then…" Chloe's voice trailed off for a second and sounded dreamy when she said, "I missed you."
She barely squeezed his hand once and continued in that still far-away voice, "Not even twenty-four hours and I missed you. Guess you've got me sucked in now, huh?"
Leaning over her even more, Lex brought his face in close, dropping his forehead against hers. "I don't think you could have possibly missed me as much as I missed you."
Chloe sighed, her breath fluttering against his skin. "Promise?"
"With every part of me."
********************************** ~ ***********************************
They directed him to where she was, but Lex stopped for a moment before he entered the room in which she as sitting. Instead, he watched from around the corner, taking in her slumped shoulders and vacant gaze. Her face looked thin, shouting silently against any hint that she'd recently given birth. Arms hanging limply at her sides, Chloe didn't even look up as he finally entered the room and sat next to her.
Voice empty, she broke the silence by saying, "I couldn't sleep."
Lex nodded. "I figured that much."
"Didn't want to wake you up," she explained. "You were resting so well and I know you haven't been able to lately. I made them wait until you got here."
"I know, they told me." Lex, deciding to take the chance, drew his arm around her back and settled his hand at her waist. Bending his head, he put his lips to her temple, hardly drawing away to say, "I wish you hadn't come here without me, though."
"I needed," Chloe's voice cracked for a moment and he felt her jaw contract beneath his touch, "I needed some time to think."
Sighing silently, Lex nodded again. "I know."
"No, you don't," Chloe contradicted him, pulling away and standing up. She crossed her arms and began rubbing at her shoulders as if suddenly cold. "You couldn't possibly know."
Lex pressed his lips together and looked away. When he felt he had a certain level of control, he said, "Then tell me."
Upon looking at her, Lex felt something break inside of him as the sight of the tears in her eyes. Standing now, he faced her and slowly put his arms around her slack body. "Chloe, tell me."
She shook her head against his jacket, but Lex continued to hold her close. Relief came slowly as she carefully began to wind her arms around him in return. Rocking back and forth slowly, they finally began to relax as they found solace within each other.
It was a rude interruption, but it brought them the announcement they'd been waiting to hear. The woman's voice was polite when she said, "Mr. and Mrs. Luthor? Are you ready?"
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"Mr. Luthor?" The tap on his shoulder broke him out of the reverie that he and Chloe had been sharing for at least two minutes straight. The world came rushing back at him in the series of beeps and blips, shouts coming from one side of the room to the other. Hastily placing a kiss on Chloe's forehead, he drew away as little as he could and turned to the nurse.
"Yes?" He looked over the nurse's shoulder as another rushed out of the room with the doctor, a small baby-sized bed being pushed ahead of them. "What's going on?"
"We have the baby out, sir. Our staff is on course to the neo-natal intensive care unit if you want to follow me."
Lex blinked in surprise, but turned back to Chloe who was staring at him with wide-eyed shock. "He-She-He's out?" He stammered.
The nurse smiled. "Ah, another one of those couples, huh?"
Chloe's voice rose out of the din and asked, "What is it, Lex?"
Placing hands on her hips, the nurse looked past Lex and said to Chloe. "You have a beautiful baby girl, Mrs. Luthor."
Lex looked back just in time for Chloe to give a small, but very relieved-sounding, laugh and catch his eye. "I told you so."
"I, uh," still shell-shocked, Lex stayed in place, looking back and forth between the two women. It was Chloe who pushed him out of his state.
"Go after her, Lex. Don't want them to lose it, damn baby-stealers…" She drifted off again and closed her eyes for a long moment then opened them, surprised to still see him there. "Why are you still here? I'm not exactly going anywhere, now am I?"
A huge smile breaking across his face, Lex gave Chloe's hand one last squeeze and followed the nurse out of the room.
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"Yeah, we're ready," Lex cleared his throat and turned to Nurse Hernandez as she stood waiting for his answer.
"Good," Nurse Hernandez said, turning around and pulling a small cradle set in a plastic bassinet on wheels into the room. "Here she comes."
Chloe sniffled a little from beside him and leant against his body as their daughter was brought into their view. Bundled in pink, from her tiny cap to her sock-covered feet, Lex's chest contracted when he saw her give a tiny yawn. No matter how much he saw her, no matter how many times he held her, it was still an amazement to see their child.
"Now, come on, it's not like you haven't been near her before," Nurse Hernandez cheerfully admonished them. "I bet she's just as excited as mommy and daddy about getting to go home at last."
Lex looked over at Chloe, whose face had become unreadable as the nurse kept babbling about what a delight this Luthor had been and how she hoped that the parents would be influenced. Lex smiled at her, knowing she was expecting it, but it dropped from his face when Nurse Hernandez left the room. It was true, the fact that he had been a frequent visitor to the hospital since the delivery, using every opportunity available to stare at the baby through the a plastic window, not being able to hold her at those most crucial moments where her lungs needed to be prodded into a more stable condition.
They'd waited a couple days before finally deciding that the tiniest Luthor was ready for life outside her plastic bubble, carefully placing her within the arms of her mother. Chloe had cried joyfully as she held the tiny body for the first time, unable to stop from touching her smooth skin over and over.
But her demeanor now was completely different and it was leaving Lex more than a little put off course.
He nudged her in the side. "Do you want to hold her first?"
"No," Chloe whispered. His astonishment deepened as she turned her back on him and returned to sitting on the hospital bed on which he'd first found her. Unsettled, he pulled the crib towards the bed and sat down again, the baby's bassinet at their knees.
Lex placed one hand over the side barrier and softly stroked his daughter's little face. He'd known Chloe had been nervous about going home as a family for the first time, but he'd never expected this from her. Licking his lips, he finally asked, "Why not?"
"Because," a loud, shaky breath was taken from behind him, "because I don't think I can right now."
"I don't understand." Lex finally moved his hand back and turned his body to Chloe. When he saw her, it was as if he'd been hit over the head with a heavy object.
She was staring at the crib with tear-filled eyes, her hand covering her mouth and holding back a sob that escaped when Chloe's eyes locked with his. It shook her entire body, bending Chloe over at the waist as tears began to slide down her cheeks.
"Chloe," Lex whispered, drawing away from the crib. "What is it?"
She dove into his arms, hiding her face in the crook of his shoulder. Cries becoming louder and more desperate, Chloe's hands clung to him as her lungs fought for breath. Finally breaking through, her voice was chilling when he heard it in his ear. "I w-was g-g-going to kill her, L-Lex."
"What?" He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back, staring at her crumpled, red-cheeked face. If there was one woman who was ever in complete misery, it was Chloe Luthor right then. "You were going to what?"
"And you w-wouldn't let me and I hated you," Chloe sobbed between the words. "I h-hated you so much b-b-because I didn't want things the way they were, but you were so d-damn stubborn. Oh, God, Lex," she gasped loudly. "I was going to kill her. I was going to k-k-kill our baby."
It was finally dawning on him, exactly what Chloe meant and Lex began to shake his head violently. "No, Chloe. You wouldn't have done it, I know you."
"But I was," Chloe wailed, agonized. Her whole body was beginning shake now and nothing Lex could try and say would stop her from going on. "I couldn't sleep last night because I just kept thinking of how we were going to pick her up and bring her home. I was so happy and then I started remembering, I remembered how I looked for the doctor, I begged you to let me." Chloe pushed her head back against him and Lex put his arms around her once more as she continued, her words muffled against his chest. "Look at her, Lex, she's so little. How could I ever think of doing that to someone so little?"
"Listen to me, Chloe," Lex pushed his mouth to near her ear. "I never would have let you do that. Never. Because I know that this is what would have happened, you would have regretted it for the rest of your life."
"I regret it and I never even d-did it," Chloe hiccupped and gripped him more. Her words rode on air as she gasped out, "What kind of monster am I?"
"You're not, Chloe, you're not," Lex held her ever the tighter and buried his face in her hair. "You're not a monster. You were scared. I was scared. But look at us. Look at her."
Chloe shook her head. "I can't look at her. I can't."
"Look at her," Lex said firmly.
"How can I ever face her?" Chloe lifted her head to meet his gaze. "After all those terrible things I thought of, after I blamed her for so much because I didn't want to take a chance at losing him for good?"
Lex brought his hands up and cupped Chloe's face. "You're going to face her because you made the decision against that, Chloe. It may have crossed your mind, but it never would have happened-"
"Only because you-"
"No," Lex said gently. "Not because of me. Because of you. Because your are Chloe Sullivan first and foremost and Chloe Sullivan would have thought things through and made the right decision, to hell with any man in her life."
Chloe wiped at her eyes, which welled up with replacement tears right away. "Even you?"
"Especially me." Lex began to brush away the newest drops. "Chloe, you are one of the most genuine, caring people I know. And I know you would have never gone through with it. Believe me when I say that."
"I want to, but I just keeping thinking of how I didn't even want her. How I prayed every night that she would go away so things could go back to being the same," Chloe whispered hoarsely, still sniffling. "We almost lost her, but now she's here and she's ours and I can't believe that I ever even considered any of that. It makes me sick that I ever thought of it."
"It was a different time. For being so recent, it was a long time ago, Chloe," Lex whispered back.
"I love her so much, Lex, and I barely even know her."
"I know," Lex sighed and hugged her tightly. "I know exactly what you mean."
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It took a while before Chloe truly felt that she had gotten control of herself. It had taken two aspirin, a huge glass of water and at least twenty minutes of lying down, but at least she could safely say the tears were far from sprouting up again. Chloe closed her eyes and rubbed a hand over her face, reopening them in time to see Lex lifting the baby from her bassinet. Though words flew to her lips, she kept quiet as Lex completely disregarded his designer suit and settled their daughter against his shoulder. Her little face fit perfectly against the soft material of his coat, a small pink fist lying gently on his arm. Chloe took a deep breath to steady herself as Lex walked around the room, both hands careful in protecting the baby.
It had only been a few days since Chloe had been released from the hospital; the doctors had seen it fit to keep her under observation as the surgery had taken a toll on her body, not to mention the fact that it hadn't been ready for birth in itself. Going home had been one of the hardest things to do in her life, knowing that her daughter was left in the hands of others while she was miles away. Lex had continually volunteered to bring in specialists to their own home when she'd raised her objections, but rational thinking had won out. It was simply better to keep the baby in the hospital where around the clock help was absolutely guaranteed.
Sleeping in bed that night had been especially difficult, knowing Lex was right next to her, yet very much out of reach. They had yet to talk about the night she had left; inside, Chloe knew that it was the baby who had thrown them together once more. At her loneliest moments, she'd wanted to turn and throw an arm over his body, but a part of her always hesitated, always had her questioning.
Even so, it wasn't enough to make her leave again.
When she finally did sleep, there were flashes of dreams where she was in the operating room and Lex was standing right over her, promising that he'd missed her even more than she claimed to miss him. They were so vivid, Chloe could swear they were real memories. The two things that tipped her off that it was her imagination was that in the dreams, Lex had hair and their baby was a hermaphrodite.
Chloe silently rolled her eyes. I'm such a freak.
The best explanation she'd gotten for the whole ordeal was that the sedative they'd given her had been the culprit. The only reason she knew Lex had been in the room with her was because Pete had said it himself. All she had in her memory banks was counting down from ten as she was wheeled in and then suddenly finding herself in the recovery room, Dr. Weaver announcing a daughter to the Luthors.
Promise?
With every part of me.
Chloe shook her head. Just some very realistic dreams. Snap out of it already.
"You want to hold her?" Lex voice interrupted her reverie. He was standing to the side of where she lay, gesturing to the baby.
Chloe nodded hesitantly. "Yeah. I think I would."
He waited until she was standing before gently moving the small body from his arms to her own. Chloe's face grew warm as her daughter stretched out tiny hands and yawned delicately. As if under a perfect spell, every single anxiety and share of guilt began to fall away. She's mine. Ours. Oh, my God, she's so beautiful. Chloe's breath caught in her throat for a moment before she said softly, "She's falling asleep."
"Lucky kid," Lex said as he moved around the bed and glanced out the window. "We may have to wait a little longer while someone brings the car around."
Chloe sighed, but passed the time instead by fixing the blankets around the baby's face. Her little eyelids were drooping heavily, but when Chloe moved, they popped back open, revealing a blue she'd only seen on someone else's face. Smiling a little, Chloe stroked a finger across a smooth cheek. "She's gotten so big in just a couple weeks."
"I can only imagine what it's going to be like when months pass," Lex returned to her and bent his head to look at the child. A grin began to grow on his face, "I can't tell you how glad I am that she doesn't have red hair. That just wouldn't be fair."
"I'm just glad she isn't bald," Chloe remarked as she slowly plucked off the pink cap revealing a small crown of golden hair. "Taking after her mom already… smart girl."
Lex played with her hair for a moment. "Think we have a little hell raiser on our hands?"
"With us a parents?" Chloe let out a small chuckle. "I'd expect nothing less."
"I was thinking the exact same thing,"
Lex's eyes caught hers when they both looked up. The hairs on the back of Chloe's neck stood up as his gaze bored into hers. With every part of me. It echoed over and over in her brain, but she couldn't break the stare between them. Finally, not knowing where her voice came from, she asked, "So, is she finally going to get a name or what? I don't think we'll get away with 'it' or 'her'."
"Of course not," Lex replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I suppose it'll be best if you choose. All of the ones I was thinking of are a moot point by now."
A smile flashed across her face before Chloe pursed her lips, "You should have believed me."
"I should have," Lex consented before sighing. "So, what do you think?"
"I like," Chloe said slowly. "Something without an L."
"Oh, come on, you have to give me-"
"But maybe we can compromise," Chloe stopped him before he could go on by putting a hand to his lips. "There was this one name that caught my eye, but I want to hear what you have to say before you jump on it."
It sounded as if Lex was trying to say 'okay', but the words were muffled against Chloe's hand. Taking her hand in his, he moved it away from his face and said, "Okay, what is it?"
Chloe looked down at the baby and said, "Aurelia."
"Aurelia," Lex repeated. He seemed to consider it for a moment before saying, "That's Greek isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is," Chloe said. Not aware of it, she entwined her fingers in Lex's, carefully cradling the baby with her free arm. "And the compromise is that Lia isn't all that bad of a name in itself."
"Lia," Lex repeated again. "Aurelia Luthor. Lia Luthor."
"So?" Chloe looked up at him expectantly.
"I think…" Lex trailed off before smiling, "I think it fits quite well."
A wide grin spread across Chloe's face. "Really?"
"Yeah, really," Lex gave her hand a squeeze. "So, that's it? We've named her?"
"Never thought I'd see the day where we agreed," Chloe said. "But here it is."
"Here it is," Lex murmured as he placed a small kiss on her knuckles. He brought up his second hand and placed it on the other side of hers, completely encompassing her. Chloe kept her eyes on him as he began to draw closer to her. "Are you ready to go home?"
Home.
We aren't going to lose anything today.
"Yeah, Lex," Chloe said softly. "I want to go home."
********************************** ~ ***********************************
"Mrs. Luthor?"
"Yeah, Louis?" Chloe looked up over the edge of the couch, her eyes barely peeking over the material.
"There's someone here to see you." Louis stepped into the room and gave her a small bow. "Are you decent?"
Chloe smiled at him, but sat up carefully with Aurelia sleeping soundly on her chest. "I am. Who is it?"
The question was answered with sight rather than words as Louis moved to the side and Clark appeared from behind him. He was holding a small bouquet of flowers and looked more nervous than anything else, especially when Chloe said confusedly, "Clark?"
"Yeah." He shuffled his feet a little but then turned to the other man. "Thanks, Louis."
Louis only nodded and walked out of the room as Chloe sat up a little straighter. She waved a welcoming hand at him and he approached the couch carefully. He thrust the flowers out in front of him like a shield and said, "I wanted to come sooner, but things can get pretty hectic at school. And I wasn't sure if Lex would be very happy to see me, but-"
"Liar," Chloe softened the word with a small smile. "You know he'd welcome you here."
"I guess," Clark shrugged, but came around the furniture and looked around for a place to sit. Ignoring the couch off to the side, he finally sat on the coffee table in front of where Chloe sat, looking around. "I don't think I've ever been in here before."
"No one ever used it much before now," Chloe motioned to the blanket laid on the floor where she'd earlier changed a diaper and a few baby toys lay scattered, along to a crib on the other side of the sofa. "Let's say I found some pretty good uses."
"Is that…" Clark cleared his throat loudly. "Is that her?"
"Oh! Yeah," Chloe shifted a little and presented the baby's face to him. "Clark, meet Aurelia Luthor."
"Big name," Clark said as he took a closer glance. "Little baby."
Chloe rolled her eyes, "Yeah, well, being born more than two months early can do that to a person. Lex calls her Lia, though. Do you want to hold her?"
"No, that's all right," Clark seemed to have barely realized that the flowers were still in his hand and he pushed them towards her. "These are for you. Her. Both of you."
"They're pretty," Chloe took a sniff and laid them next to where she sat. "So. Hey."
"Hey."
Chloe screw her mouth up into a shrewd smile as Clark stared at her, completely at a loss of what to say. She waited a few moments before finally breaking the silence with, "Anything particular about your visit today, Clark? It's obviously not to see Lex, because he left two hours ago for work."
"No," Clark said slowly. "I came to see you."
"Me."
"I heard," Clark licked his lips. "I heard about how Aurelia was born early and just wanted to check on how you were. I would have gone to the hospital, but you know…"
"Lex," Chloe finished for him. She began to shake her head, "Look, Clark, I don't know what you two said to each other, but I would hope it wouldn't put a wedge between the two of you. I asked you not to take this out on him."
"I know you said that. I know," Clark looked down at his hands. "And it's not what he said, though he did say he still wanted to be friends… it's just what he didn't say."
Chloe perked up, "What do you mean, what he didn't say?"
"Chloe… are you happy?" Clark looked up at her, his eyes serious.
She opened up her mouth to give him a complete affirmative, but stopped before the words came tumbling out. Finally she sighed and said, "That's a deeper question than you think, Clark."
"Because I remember how I saw you a few weeks ago. That was the day before you had her, right?"
Chloe only nodded.
"And you were upset because Lex had lost his temper over that photographer, Matt."
Chloe blinked rapidly. "I never said his name was Matt."
Clark flushed a little. "I did a little digging."
"Ah," Chloe bent her head towards him, "Investigative reporter in action."
"Well, you left a position vacant," Clark answered lightly.
"Ouch."
"Sorry."
"No, it's okay." Chloe sighed again. "I miss it a lot. I guess that's one of the factors that makes your 'happy' question hard to answer."
"Does Lex know you miss it?"
Chloe shrugged, "We haven't talked about it."
"Lex has a tendency to steamroll what other people want."
Aurelia was stirring a little against her and Chloe made a show of gently rocking her back to sleep before looking back at Clark. She took a deep breath and said, "Clark, what are you doing here? And I mean, really, what are you doing here?"
"Chloe," Clark seemed to fight with himself for a moment before leaning forward towards her. "Chloe, I've known Lex for a long time, even longer than you. Granted, our friendship has definitely changed because of all this, but I think I still know him rather well. Except when it comes to you."
"Me," Chloe said blankly.
"That night, when I was here, Lex and I argued, yes. But before I left, I asked him a very important question and he chose not to answer. At least not out loud," Clark began to play with his hands and looked down at them when he went on, "I asked him if he loved you."
There was a split second of silence before Chloe let out a sharp laugh. Clark watched in surprise as she stood up and walked over to the crib, laying the baby inside. She kept forcing laughter out of her throat when she said, "Lex? Love me? I don't think so, Clark."
"Why is that hard to believe?" Clark asked quietly.
Chloe put a hand on her hip and threw her hair back with other. "Lex Luthor doesn't love me. Lust, on the other hand, lust I'll agree with. I can say there's enough on each side that there isn't a doubt when it comes to that."
Clark stood, finally stopping in front of her. "I think you're wrong."
The light in Chloe's eyes seemed to flicker once before she turned her gaze away from him. "Why are you insisting on something so ridiculous?"
"Why would Lex lose his temper with one man when I've seen him face much worse in the face of everything else and not even flinch? Why would he marry someone who obviously, at that time," Clark said carefully, "didn't love him?"
"Because he likes to get married?" Chloe threw the question at him with a haughty air, ignoring the pointed words. "My thought here is, why is Clark Kent trying to play Cupid when just a couple months ago, he was enflamed at the thought of it all?"
"Because back then I didn't know everything," Clark said softly. "Tell me, Chloe, why aren't you happy?"
"You know what?" Chloe started making jerky movements as she gathered up her belongings from the couch. "I think I'm tired. I think you should get going because the best time for me to sleep is when Aurelia's asleep. Maybe you should get going."
"We may not be the way we were before, Chloe," Clark put a hand on her busy arm. "But I still want an answer from my friend."
Chloe's hands stilled as she stared at Clark's hand on her arm. Was it only seven months ago? Her mind cropped up with pictures of two people in a dorm room, a mountain of clothes and words of assurance promising to keep in touch. She slowly lifted her eyes to her friend's, seeing the familiar green but feeling completely different this time around. Her mouth went dry and she could barely ask, "What do you want me to say, Clark?"
"Chloe," Clark bit his lip before letting go of her arm and stepping back. "Chloe, I think one of the biggest mistakes of my life was not taking the chance with you when I should have. I don't know if it would have worked out, I don't know if it would have gone anywhere, but there's no way that I'll ever find out now."
She placed a hand against her chest, expecting a rapid-fire heartbeat at the words he said, but found nothing but the age-old steady beat. Clark didn't seem to notice as he went on to say, "When I saw you a few weeks ago, I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell you this, I wanted to tell you that I was sorry because Lex was right. I never treated you the way I should have. Instead of realizing what was in front of me, I just subconsciously, I guess, expected you to always be there."
"Expect the unexpected," Chloe whispered.
"Rightly said," Clark said. "And I was angry to realize that Lex had just slipped underneath and took you. At least that's what I thought then, I was so ready to put the blame on him. When I spoke to you that night, I could see that you had some feeling for him, but nothing I could really pinpoint. The thing is, when I asked him," Clark was wringing his hands again. "I could see it there, Chloe. He didn't answer out loud, but I know him. I know it."
"And that is."
Clark kept rambling, "And I was hoping that by now, now that Aurelia was here, you two could finally just see. That's why I'm here. I wanted to see. Just see what I saw on his face that night. What I saw on your face a few weeks ago. I missed my chance, but it's not to say that my friends couldn't figure it out by themselves, right?"
"Figure out what," Chloe asked fiercely.
"That you love each other," Clark finally answered.
"I find it funny," Chloe said slowly. "That someone could never see what was right in front of him can claim to see it in a completely different relationship."
"Enlightenment can come at completely inopportune times," Clark replied.
Chloe stared at him for several seconds before turning her head away. He's ridiculous. I would know when I'm in love. Yeah, Lex might want me, he's said as much, but love me? That's just… that's just preposterous. OK, so I want Lex. Big deal, he knows it, I know it. Love, though? No, not love. I know what love is. I loved Clark, I knew what that was from the moment I felt it. Her thoughts broke when she felt Clark's hands on her shoulders and he spoke up from behind her.
"Chloe, answer the question. Why aren't you happy?"
Because I'm afraid this will end. Her mind countered before her mouth and it was as if her heart had stopped in that aching moment. I'm going to wake up any second and Aurelia will be gone and any tie that I had to Lex will be gone. Forever gone.
He slowly turned her in place and only had to look at her face once before quietly saying, "I'm not the one you have to tell this to, Chloe. I may have missed my chance, but that doesn't mean you have to give up yours."
Chloe shut her eyes. "Why are you doing this, Clark?"
"Because I want someone to walk out of this mess with something worth holding on to," Clark gripped her shoulders a little tighter before letting go. "I still want your friendship, Chloe. I want Lex's. But I'm not going to stand to watch you make the same mistake I did."
"Clark…" Chloe couldn't seem to finish the sentence, but he took the opportunity to lean in and place a small kiss on her cheek.
"Think about it." Clark pulled back and looked over at the crib. "You and Lex really made something beautiful, Chloe."
"Thank you," she whispered.
Before she could say any more, he was gone.
********************************** ~ ***********************************
It wasn't the sun that woke him up this time. Definitely not. Lex thought to himself as he opened his eyes to see a full moon flourishing peacefully in the sky through his window. Feeling the same odd sensation that something was missing, he looked over to Chloe's side of the bed to find it empty. Instead of calling her name, he slid off the bed and tugged on a t-shirt.
Tell-tale noises were coming from the hallway and Lex made sure to flick on the light in his room before leaving so he wouldn't surprise her as he walked the short distance across the hall. Opening the already ajar door, his feet sunk into the deep carpet as he drew near the near silent rocking chair in which Chloe sat. She was humming a little off key, but Lex smiled when he heard her whisper to their child.
"Chloe," he said gently as he came around to face her. She smiled a little at him through the darkness and he sat at her feet, looking up at her as Aurelia drowsily moved in her arms. "Was she crying?"
"Just a little," Chloe said. "I didn't mean to wake you up."
"Nah, it's all right," Lex reached up and stroked Aurelia's little feet. Even in the dim light of the room, he could see the deeply thoughtful look on Chloe's face and he stayed silent for several minutes.
Chloe was the one who finally spoke up. Her voice a little far away, she asked, "Clark was here today."
"Was he?" He fought to keep his voice casual. "What did he say?"
"That Aurelia's beautiful," Chloe smiled down at him. "Oh, he did ask me to run away with him, but I told him I'd rather stick around here. Didn't think you'd like it if I up and left."
"On the contrary," Lex said humorously, "I would gladly support any break you'd like to take. I'll even supply the plane."
"Ah, Luthors and their planes," Chloe raised an eyebrow. "I think I'll pass."
Lex shrugged, "Your loss."
"I'm sure." A wry smile came to her lips and it was a few seconds before she said, "Lex…"
"Yes?"
"Do you think," Chloe avoided his gaze as she began to play with Aurelia's blanket. "Do you think if Aurelia hadn't been born… I mean, if we hadn't been together that night… do you think we would have ended up here?"
"Here? As in together?" Lex asked in a thoughtful voice. "I'm not sure."
"I mean," Chloe started gnawing on her lip a little, "would we, would this have ever happened on its own accord. You wanting to be with me, me wanting to be with you…"
Something caught in his chest when he heard her say that. Me wanting to be with you. Lex waited a bit before saying, "I don't know how to answer that question. Our lives would have been different, certainly."
She appeared displeased with his answer, but didn't respond.
"Chloe, what is this all about?"
"I was just thinking, that's all." She tried to give him a goofy smile. "Late night thoughts can be a little off the wall."
Lex slowly put one of his hands on her knee and stopped the rocking. "What do you want me to say?"
I want you to say that Clark was right. I want you to tell me what you couldn't admit to him. Flinging off those thoughts, Chloe just replied, "Nothing. I'm just babbling. You know, new mom thoughts. What does dad think? What's dad got going through his head?"
He gave her a doubtful look before turning his head away. "Is this about what happened in my office?"
He wasn't meeting her eyes and it instantly incited Chloe's interest. In any case, it took the discomfort away from her. "Maybe."
"Chloe," Lex said slowly, his hand tightening on her knee. "If I could change anything, it would be that day."
"Change what happened or change the fact that I saw it?"
Lex's eyes shot back to hers. "That it happened, Chloe."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure," Lex said firmly. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts for a moment before shaking his head, "I can't begin to tell you how long I've dwelt on it all. I don't dwell on things, Chloe. That should tell you a lot in itself."
Chloe released one hand and put it on top of his. "I need you to tell me, Lex. What happened that day?"
He took a moment to himself by rubbing at his forehead before sighing. "I just let it get to me, everything. The pressure, the stress, all those damn reporters trying to get a piece of you, trying to get a piece of Lia."
"That's the way it's always going to be, Lex," Chloe said, her voice nearly nonexistent.
"I don't want it to be like that," Lex said sharply. He saw Chloe's look of surprise and lowered his voice. "I don't want people hounding you when you aren't used to it like I am. I don't want Lia to be in the public eye because I've seen what that does to people when they've had it their entire lives. I'm proof of that."
"Maybe," Chloe said, "but I still think you're doing all right."
"Even when I'm turning into my father," Lex responded bitterly.
"No, Lex-"
"Yes, I am," he insisted.
"No," Chloe said unyieldingly. "I won't let you."
The question that had been festering in his mind for weeks finally came out before he could stop it. "What if it's too late, Chloe?"
"It's not," Chloe squeezed his hand. "Because you're here. You're here with me and with Aurelia, not living some self-depreciating life trying to find pleasure in any possible place. Just think of him, Lex. Think of how empty his life must be where he has to find happiness in making others miserable. That's not you."
His eyes were caught on her as she looked down at him from her seat. "It isn't?"
"You scared me," Chloe said honestly. "I can't lie and say you didn't. But you're still in place where you can turn away from that. And if you can't find that strength within yourself… then maybe that's where we'll come in handy."
She gestured down to Aurelia's little form with a slight nod; Lex lifted himself up onto his knees, his face close to hers. "I was just trying to protect you."
Chloe put a hand to his cheek. "I know."
"There's so many people out to get you. And Lia."
"I know," she put her forehead to his. "Protect us, Lex. Just not like that. You're better than that."
"I want to believe that."
She didn't respond to him with words. Instead, she placed her lips in a small kiss over their child's body. Though weeks had passed since the last time they'd met in such an intimate moment, it felt just as familiar, just as comforting as every time past. When she pulled away, Lex fought the urge to bring her in again. As he opened his eyes, he found Chloe already looking at him intently, something indiscernible in her own gaze. "Chloe?"
Damn, Clark, when did you get so perceptive?
Chloe shook her head once and pulled back from Lex. "You better get to bed. She should be waking up again for a feeding soon and I'm sure you don't want to stay awake just for that."
He let a wicked grin come onto his face, "Well…"
Chloe smacked him on his arm. "Get going already. I'll be there in a half hour or so. It all depends on her."
"If you say so," Lex bent in a placed a small kiss on his daughter's head, whispering, "Sweet dreams, Lia."
He lifted his head to Chloe. "Good night."
"Good night," Chloe waited until he'd left the room before letting on the breath she'd been clinging to since he'd leant in to kiss the baby. Thrusting her head back against the chair, she sighed loudly. You just had to open that can of worms, now didn't you, Clark Kent?
