Disclaimer: Gravitation + Maki= owner and genius

Gravitation + Me=obsessed fan with nothing better to do than this

Eiri + Shuichi=a happy me ^_~



Desperate Angel

Soon after making the appropriate arrangements with one of the many personal drivers employed by NG Records, Tohma made his way back through the automatic doors and inside the airport's main entrance. The late fall weather was starting to give the air a bitter chill that he could feel despite the black gloves covering his hands, and the bright sun only offered so much warmth. There was no point in staying outside because of it, the fretful image of a wandering Ryuichi causing havoc was fresh in mind, and he had yet to make his important phone call to his wife, Mika. Removing a silver-cased cell phone from the pocket of his jacket and flipping the front open, Tohma pressed speed dial three, the number for Mika's father's temple in Kyoto. The number was third only to his own home he shared with her and the number to one other special person.

Yuki Eiri.

"Moshi moshi? Uesugi residence," came the flinty yet attractive voice of his wife. Mika loved her husband and he loved her, yet there was no doubt that Tohma cared for Eiri too. To distinguish his feelings between the two, he attempted to have Eiri call him 'Onii-chan,' [AN: meaning brother] but the headstrong writer refused. Rarely did they ever see much of one another. Tohma wanted to blame his work, or Eiri's deadlines, but he knew full well what the writer thought about most these days.

"Mika, it's me," Tohma answered with a smile, navigating the airport halls without having to use the overhead signs. He was a frequent visitor with Nittle Grapser, his work and his travels to New York City, once a home away from home until about seven years ago when he brought a 16-year-old Eiri with him and the boy changed forever. It took a long time for Eiri to try and forget the teacher he so much admired, Yuki Kitazawa, even after what the older man did to him. He did not want him to be hurt again by any means, but what was worse that it wasn't Tohma who was finally able to make Eiri move past his demons. It was Shuichi and while he disapproved of Eiri's choosing another man as his lover, he accepted the relationship the best he could.

"Tohma," Mika blared, knocking him out of his thoughts. "You haven't called in two days. I accepted that you weren't coming to Kyoto with me because you had work, but I will not stand being avoided."

"I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. I did not mean to," he laughed, pausing as he stepped onto an escalator. He carefully tried to move the topic along to the real reason of the call. "How are your father and brother doing?"

"Father is starting to recover from the flu, but Tatsuha is already bouncing back. Like all men, they're babies when sick. I'm going to have to stay a few more days to nurse father while Tatsuha returns to taking care of the temple, and whatever other gratifying activities he has planned."

"So is the man currently taking care of things available?" he asked, hoping his wife could persuade her brother to talk, something Eiri didn't do much with him anymore.

"He's just walked in," Mika stated. "Eiri, the phone is for you. It's my husband."

"Take a message," he heard come through the line.

"Eiri!" his sister castigated. Sounds of bickering quickly followed, causing Tohma to pull the phone slightly away from his ear, but were silenced as Eiri took the phone, probably in effort to hush his sibling.

"What?" came the flat voice of Yuki Eiri.

"Eiri-san, good morning to you too," Tohma chimed, stepping off the escalator and continuing his walk, though it slowed in pace. "I'm surprised you are actually awake this early."

"Didn't stop you from calling, did it?" he replied.

"As inheritor of the Uesugi ancestral shrine, I suppose you have duties to tend to that involve an early rise."

"Now that Tatsuha is able to get up on his own, he can have it back," Eiri answered, clearly not one for the temple life, though his brother's wasn't much either. He constantly thought Tatsuha would send the place to Hell, but he made the choice not to interfere. His father wanted him to settle down with a girl, shave his head and continue his work, being the eldest son. Eiri wasn't planning on doing any of that.

"Aw, Eiri-san, you should stay and help Mika," Tohma suggested, feeling where this conversation was headed. "Temple life must be good for you and I hear the weather is beautiful up in Kyoto. Ayaka-chan told me. She's getting settled in a hotel as we speak. Nakano-san will be delighted to see her."

"Yes, I know she left. You seem to forget she lives in Kyoto, not too far from this very shrine. I'm taking a lead from her and I'm going home, Tohma," Eiri stated firmly. "I did what I had to do for the family, and I'm done. I did you and your wife a favor, even if this is my own family. Have you done what I asked in return?"

Sighing, Tohma rubbed a gloved hand on the back of his neck. "I'm at the airport. Their plane landed a while ago. I'm on my way to meet them. They'll be driven home and given the appropriate amount of time to rest."

"He'll be upset because I'm not there," Eiri added.

A short chuckle erupted from him, imagining the total chaos that must be occurring with Ryuichi and Shuichi. "I'll explain your situation, and give him the good news, unless you want to tell him yourself."

"If you give him the phone, I'll never make it to my car to come home," he quipped.

Entering the baggage claim station, Tohma took the time to locate the right gate's area for retrieval and proceeded to find his party. "Shindou-san is effervescent, isn't he? I won't go back on our deal, but I think he should be back to the studio in at least two weeks from now. It will be good for all---" His words trailed off as he stopped his way towards the next set of stairs, an unmoving Shuichi catching his eye. Viewing from the second level overlooking the luggage area, Tohma witnessed the confrontation with Bad Luck's vocalist.

He arrived just as Ryuichi was shaken off by Eiri's lover, and watched his friend clumsily trip over his own foot and crash with K. It almost brought a laugh to his lips as Tohma viewed the silly episode, but Shuichi did not give the impression of amusement, instead his shoulders slumped forward and he grabbed one side of his head.

Tohma leaned forward on the balcony beam, the cell phone sliding slightly awake from his ear, oblivious to Eiri speaking to him, wondering why Shuichi wasn't getting up. Shuichi was a strong kid, not easily hurt by just Ryuichi's liveliness. Tohma never saw him look so quiet before or frozen. If he didn't know any better, he'd almost say he was acting the way Eiri did seven years ago when he found him in his sensei's apartment, holding the gun with which he killed him. Tohma knew from Eiri about what happened to Shuichi almost a year ago by Aizawa of ASK. It had no effect on the young man then. It couldn't possibly now.

Whatever brought on Shuichi's behavior suddenly ceased, perplexing Tohma all the more. Shuichi pushed himself up and straightened out his clothes, still seeming pale but no longer frozen.

"Tohma!" shouted Eiri through the phone, awakening the polished man. "If you aren't going to talk, I'm hanging up"

"Sorry Eiri-san," Tohma played off. "Must have been some static. I didn't hear you. You know what? I think I will let you go. Have a safe trip home. I'll call later. Goodbye." Flipping the phone closed, Tohma returned to his observing, gliding his hand along the balcony as he moved towards the escalator. "Shindou-san---" he muttered, pondering what he saw. Something about Shuichi was different. It was disturbing. Tohma was good at reading people, and those few involved in Eiri's life deserved an eye on them closely.

He may not approve of Eiri's choice of lovers, and he may have accepted this relationship, but Tohma wasn't going to keep out of his business this time if whatever was bothering Shuichi may harm Eiri.

* * *

Ostensibly pale and shaken by the jolt, Shuichi covered his mouth as if he were to vomit. He almost began to cry and was thankful for taking the sunglasses Hiro offered. 'What's wrong with me?' he thought in despair. He wasn't reliving bad memories that brought on this overreaction. It was that sudden weak feeling again causing him to freeze. Raising his head, Shuichi immediately looked around. Hiro and Suguru weren't there and Sakano was across the room trying to handle the group's luggage with his own unsuccessfully. 'No one saw,' he thought in relief, pushing up his shades to wipe his eyes quickly.

"Hey K-san!" said the voice of who jumped the vocalist, now more playful. "Good catch."

"What are you doing here by yourself, Ryuichi?" K asked, pushing Ryuichi off of him so he could get to his feet.

"Surprising you guys," he answered, holding up a hand. "I think I got Shuichi."

"What did I say about jumping on people?" K inquired with a shake of his blond ponytail, helping his former client regain his footing.

"Sakuma-san?" Shuichi mumbled into his hand in disbelief, spinning around to see if he heard correctly. K must have been too engrossed with Ryuichi that he didn't see what happened either.

It happened so fast that Shuichi never noticed it was Ryuichi. In horror of shoving his idol and friend, Shuichi covered the sides of his face with his hands. "Sakuma-san, I'm so sorry I made you fall! Oh my God! I pushed 'God'! This is a nightmare. Oh what have I done? I didn't mean it," Shuichi continued to ramble, gazing up at confused K. "Sakuma-san scared me."

Ryuichi began to laugh hysterically, catching everyone's attention. "I scared you! I scared you!" he repeated with a smile, removing his sunglasses to reveal sparkling azure eyes. "Ryu-chan surprised you, Shuichi?"

Taken back from his idol's bubbly conduct, Shuichi nodded his head. "Um. Hai."

"Then let me surprise you again. Just for you three from just us," he grinned, pulling out his pink bunny. "Oh no! Not Kumagorou," he chortled, handing it to K so he could present Shuichi with his real present. "Tada!" The smiling man removed a large sheet of paper from his coat. "Oops, I must have crushed it. Oh well, it's still good."

Unfolding the crumpled picture, Shuichi stared at it. Sakuma Ryuichi made him a present! It was kiddy but he didn't care. "Sakuma-san," Shuichi said softly, sulking in shame. "I'm so very sorry."

"You don't like my present," Sakuma moped, mimicking the other vocalist's sad face.

"I love it!" Shuichi cried.

"But you look sad."

"Because I shoved you. Aren't you upset?" Shuichi questioned. "I caused you to crumple your picture."

Ryuichi stared at K, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't feel upset. Should I be?" K shrugged his shoulders in return.

"It's my fault! You should be!" Shuichi wailed.

"Na no da! Why?" he asked, tilting his head to one side. "You said you didn't mean to."

"Yeah, but---" Shuichi protested.

"You said you were sorry. I forgive you. There's nothing else to do but celebrate. No more reason to be upset with yourself right?" Shuichi could do nothing but clutch at the picture and song pad while marveling at Ryuichi's simple statement. How easy he made it seem to accept a sorry and forgive. Why couldn't he do that? "Smile Shu-chan!" Ryuichi cheered, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "You've triumphantly returned."

"Quite triumphant," a soft toned Seguchi Tohma seconded, backing up his words with applause.

"Seguchi-san!" Shuichi roared, watching him approach. "You're here too." It wasn't a shock to see the man who signed his band paying the prosperous performers a visit. Shuichi liked to think he and Tohma shared a good rapport, despite his frequent personal immaturity that would make most bosses fire him. They shared a love for music obviously, and even more evident for being at the airport was Fujisaki Suguru who was Tohma's cousin and friendly personal rival. With Sakuma Ryuichi around, it made sense for the two to be in each other's company, not because Ryuichi couldn't be on his own, but because Ryuichi was so nice to be around. However, Tohma was eying Shuichi as if he was the only one there.

"Of course," Tohma grinned. "I have many reasons for being here, don't I Ryuichi?" Holding out his hand to the ageless man, Ryuichi stared at the open palm covered in black leather. In his hand he placed Kumagorou, and Tohma quickly corrected his mistake by taking his other hand to take hold of his hat from Ryuichi's head, lightheartedly replacing the bunny in its place.

"Sha-Sha-Shacho!" Sakano exclaimed shaking, clumsily dragging rollaway luggage for all of Bad Luck in order to stand in the presence of the boss he admired. Bowing profusely, the band's producer ignored his head hitting the extended luggage handle in front of him.

"Good morning Sakano-san," Tohma greeted.

"Sumimasen!" he apologized.

"For what?" Shuichi questioned him.

"I don't know," Sakano remarked, pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. "I'm so use to saying it that it slipped out."

"You've done a wonderful job on this tour, Producer Sakano," Tohma complimented. "Your efforts are greatly appreciated. Your handle on the media and ticket sales was superb. I am very pleased."

Sakano finally stopped stuttering and sweating nervously for once, looking at his boss with eyes of veneration, almost weeping in joyfulness. "Shacho!"

"And I extend thanks to you as well K-san for the hard work you put into the tour," Tohma praised, turning away from the site of the producer.

"No problem," K answered in English.

"My cousin must be here if Sakano-san is so happy and chaos has not ensued on my arrival," said Suguru as he and Hiro sprinted towards the group, excited to see Ryuichi and Tohma. Shuichi held up the crayon welcome sign to Hiro, making sure his friend's attention was on anything but himself.

"Sakuma-san---" Hiro began, thinking of what to say in response to the interesting gift, before deciding on something as simple as, "thank you."

"And that's not the only present for you, Hiro-san!" Ryuichi gleamed. "A beautiful lady arrived this morning just for you and is waiting to have fun with you at her hotel."

K hung his head. "That didn't come out right."

"Ayaka-chan is in town!" Hiro responded nonetheless. "Wonderful." Both Suguru and Hiro had someone waiting for them, but where was Shuichi's someone? He kept up his façade of a smile, but when Hiro looked over, the elation of his news took second to Shuichi suddenly. "Hey, why isn't Yuki- san here?" he said contemptuously.

"Oh, Eiri-san---," Tohma began.

"Didn't Yuki come with you?" Shuichi inquired, startling Tohma when he gripped his arm, looking at him with sanguine eyes.

"Eiri-san isn't with me," Tohma replied, seeing the hurtful twinge come across his face, and the clutch on his arm lessened.

Ryuichi noticed, and immediately squeezed his shoulders again, beaming a famous smile. "That's the other reason Tohma's here."

"Yuki's not sick is he?" Shuichi distressed.

"Actually, it's Eiri-san's brother and father," Tohma assured, patting Shuichi's hands. "I have to take some of the responsibility for him not being here or answering your calls. Together, Mika and I convinced him to go to Kyoto with her to tend to the Uesugi shrine."

Shuichi felt so awful at that moment. He acted selfish; never considering Eiri's family was the reason for him not coming. Sensing his thought, Tohma forced out a laugh. "Eiri-san complained so! Mika hounded him with phone calls last week until he finally gave in. She made me personally drag him away from his computer. It was comical."

"Really?" Shuichi questioned with the tone of jollity rising in his voice.

"Yes," Tohma continued. "He acted so immature, even trying to throw me out of his flat. He just didn't want to leave home. I talked to him today, and with Tatsuha able-body enough to resume his duties, he is leaving Kyoto as of now. Eiri-san should be home by this evening if traffic does not delay his return."

"I guess you don't have to feel bad about missing those phone calls this week," Hiro said, retrieving his bags from the pile Sakano had created.

"Guess not," Shuichi smiled, feeling relief in the fact that Eiri would be home today. Tohma said he didn't want to leave his flat. Shuichi hoped it was more because of him than his novel.

"The car is waiting for us at the western parking circle," Tohma informed them all. "Shall we go?"

"Hai!" cheered the entire group, proceeding past Tohma to leave, but as Shuichi headed past the impeccable taste of NG Record's president, he felt a light tug on his purple sleeve.

"Let's talk, just you and me, Shindou-san," Tohma said more as a fact than as a request, and suddenly Shuichi felt an odd sensation of butterflies in his stomach. The two walked slowly, and Shuichi noticed the distance between Hiro and him was increasing.

"Wait Shindou-san!" Sakano implored, coming out of his daze about his Shacho and attempting to resume carrying the heavy bags he left behind. Ryuichi turned around and stared in bewilderment.

"You look bent out of shape," he commented, blinking in awe. Taking two pieces of luggage, he smiled and handed Kumagorou to Sakano. "Here, Kumagorou will help you. He's lighter. Better right?"

Laughing lightly in trepidation, Sakano could only nod along.

* * *

Fluid and effortless movements were enough to describe Seguchi Tohma. The few times Shuichi saw him heated, he never lost that sinuous and simplicity. It made him hard to read. If Tohma had ulterior motives, you wouldn't see it coming because he never alluded to it. Currently, Shuichi was wishing he were more intuitive. Why would Tohma want to speak to him relatively alone?

"Seguchi-san---?" asked Shuichi, uncomfortable with the silence when it was Tohma who initiated the conversation.

"How are you Shindou-san?" he questioned at him benevolently, slightly smiling and his turquoise eyes moved to the corners to view him.

"Great," Shuichi answered with some force. "I appreciate everything you've done for Bad Luck. The tour was exhilarating. Being on stage and feeling the crowd's energy is---"

"Breathtaking," Tohma finished, knowing from personal experience. Adjusting his lavish coat to prepare for the chill he would soon re-enter, Tohma sighed in happy recall. "It's thrilling. Noriko, Ryuichi and I just have to watch you and Bad Luck to make us appreciate returning to live performing."

"Where is Noriko-san anyway?" Shuichi inquired, wondering why Nittle Grasper's other keyboardist didn't join in on the welcome arrival.

"Family affairs kept her from coming," he explained. "Music may be our love and profession but it can't be our entire life. We all need to take a holiday. But I see you haven't stopped by the looks of that ledger." Nodding to the item slightly obscured by Ryuichi's gift, Shuichi hugged it closer. "Your dedication is refreshing, especially after rounding up a three month tour."

"It's, well, I don't now what it is yet. The song is in the works. I'm finding it a little hard, but now that I'm home, it will be easier," Shuichi said convincingly. "I'm happy Yuki's on his way back."

"I'm sure Eiri-san is excited about seeing you too," Tohma remarked, followed by a chuckle, "though we both know he won't show it."

Shuichi couldn't help but chuckle along with him. "Of course, Shindou- san," Tohma continued, "when I asked how you were, if it wasn't for the fact of the sunglasses over your eyes and your clever diversion to the tour, I'd say you were ill and lying to avoid making me upset." Shuichi's smile faded and his mouth was slightly agape in confusion. That soft expression and polish of the man by his side had not wavered. "Talking to me as you have proves that you're not sick, but I wonder what caused you to go weak in the knees by Ryuichi's surprise." He couldn't tell whether it was he or Tohma who stopped walking first. What a horror! Seguchi Tohma saw his crumble earlier.

"Don't work too hard Shindou-san," Tohma stated with concern. "You'll be back to work before you know it. It must be terrible to start your vacation under the weather. You don't want to be noticed. I mean, you were very lucky that I was the only one to have seen you. What a terrible event it would have been if the media or fans saw or maybe someone more important to you. You stand out quite visibly, even more when you aren't happy."

The concern Shuichi thought he heard in his voice no longer seemed authentic. "I'm not sick. A little tired but---"

"Maybe that's it," Tohma considered. "Perhaps I'm reading into it too much. When I saw that pale stricken appearance of yours, I almost dropped my phone while talking with Eiri-san."

"Yuki?" Shuichi mumbled. "Did you---?"

"No," Tohma cut him off. "I didn't say anything. I don't know what brought it on. It wasn't my place to tell him information I didn't have." He took a step closer to Shuichi. "I want to look out for you. You were an intricate part of helping Eiri-san in ways I couldn't. His past isn't as haunting as it used to be thanks to you." There was gratitude in his voice, but Shuichi felt no relief as Tohma's eyes didn't leave his. "With all the effort you put into helping Eiri-san, you wouldn't want to remind him of anything terrible as you reminded me when I saw you. This is easily remedied, right Shuichi? Don't stand out so much while you're here and you'll be fine, facing no questions. I promised Eiri-san not to pressure you to work, but if it is your choice to delve into this song, that is for you and only you to decide."

Speechless described Shuichi, lost in Seguchi Tohma's ambiance, such powerful words coming from such a composed man. It was eerie. Everything in his indirectness was easily decodable. If Shuichi wanted to assure his relationship with Eiri remained, he needed to keep silent about his problem and find a way to hide it, instead of trying to have Eiri solve it and him becoming a painful reminder of his past. How dare Tohma try to put him in this position? He didn't even directly ask about the cause, not that he wanted to tell him.

Yet could he really be angry with Tohma. He was looking out for Eiri's well being. It was in his nature. He was more aware of Eiri's past than anyone else. There was no interference from Tohma since Eiri's return from New York last time. Whether he'd given up or accepted their connection, Tohma acted supportive. Now that he saw Shuichi the way he did, could Shuichi dispute Tohma's implications?

"Shacho?" Tohma turned to face an approaching Sakano while Shuichi continued to stare at him, contemplating what to do. The producer was showing concern on his face, while Ryuichi stood next to him, handing Shuichi his luggage. "Aren't we heading to the car?"

"Yes, of course," replied Tohma. "Shindou-san and I were just talking. I wanted to know how he was."

"Is something wrong?" Sakano asked nervously, and Tohma's unwavering smile turned back to Shuichi, allowing him to answer instead.

Without hesitation, Shuichi shook his head. It was his choice to make, but Tohma's words were too potent to ignore. Yet this meant keeping a secret from not only his best friend, but also the person he loved most in this world. Compared to losing Eiri, a secret was nothing. Not having Eiri around because of him would kill his soul. Could he really risk such a thing? Shuichi let the fear in his heart make the decision for him. He would do what Tohma was hinting to be done. From this moment on, he would do everything in his power to not let his guilt stand out, and force himself to return to how things should be.

A wide grin formed on the vocalist's face. "No, everything is great. Just perfect."

TO BE CONTINUED



Reviews! Please reward me with reviews! I worked especially hard on this chapter. I was very proud with Tohma's somewhat dastardly discussion with Shuichi.

Preview of the next chapter(s) for all those who are kind enough to follow my tale: Get ready for some hair changes, Eiri actually being involved in this story and more angst!

Special thanks to Chibiukyou, Kumagorou's love of Oreos, and everyone who reviewed my work last time. I hope you look forward to Chapter 5 as much as I am. During Chapter 3 and 4, I had a major case of writer's block, but I got over it clearly and created something I was proud to put up for you to view. Let's hope I don't come down with another case of it.