Chapter 01 What?! Another journey?!

Certain things in life are damn near givens; the kind of things that you need divine intervention to alter. You know, the sun rises in the morning in the east, then sets between ten and sixteen hours later in the west. The moon circles its planet and causes tidal shifts at various times and of varying degrees. When an object is released from midair with no other forces acting on it, it will fall to the earth.

The fact that Lina Inverse and Gourry Gabriev spent virtually every spare moment of their time eating and fighting over eating doesn't fit in this category as it's not momentous enough, but it should.

At the moment they were in some obscure village about a day and a half outside of Seyruun, wolfing down a huge assortment of roast mutton, bread, chicken, and various other vegetables and sundry comestibles. (Sorry, I meant food). Despite the fact that the Mazoku barrier had fallen, most of their going-ons took place in or around the original area that had been blocked off from the rest of the world; mainly because her reputation hadn't spread to outer-world yet. Lina had yet to decide if that was a good thing or a bad one.

Gourry managed the handful of milliseconds needed to get out comments in between bites. "So Lina...(scarf, scarf, scarf)...Any idea where to...(munch, devour, inhale)...find a replacement?"

Lina shrugged. "(snarf, chew, repeat ad infinitum)...Got me. I'm not even sure...(see above)...if a sword as powerful as gore...(again)...nova even exists...HEY THAT WAS MINE!"

One of the waiters paused, watching the cuilinary battle royale. The red- head seemed only vaguely familiar, but the eating style...it was unmistakable.

Gourry snapped his fork forward with the same general speed and motion of a striking snake. He'd been getting better and better at hand-to-hand combat as a result of his near-constant duels against Lina. "Maybe the guy who made Zangulus's Howling Demon Sword?"

Lina shuddered, the thought enough to cause her to slow down (they were almost done anyway.) "I'd rather not go to them for help. Do YOU want to get within hearing of Martina and that raving lunatic swordsman?"

Gourry recalled the last time they'd been near the still-being-rebuilt Kingdom of Zoamelgustar. Zangulus had tried to challenge him (even without the sword of light), Martina had tried to curse Lina, and then decided that faith to one's spouse was not something that Zoamelgustar required of...its disciples. "Yeah, that would probably be bad..."

Further comments were shelved as a brawl broke out, knocking over their table and the last four to six dishes they'd been eating. Instinct took over as Gourry went for the nearest window, diving out of the line of fire.

Lina stared at where a few thousand more calories had been until mere seconds ago. "My food..."

The silver-haired waiter felt a HUGE chill go up his spine at the slightly unhinged look on her face. Considering what he knew her capable of, he could imagine what was going to happen within the next twelve seconds or so. Namely, his current place of employment was going to be reduced to a smoking crater. That would be bad. Hence, a preemptive strike. "BOMB DI WIND!"

Lina's wind up for a Burst Flare (she just didn't feel like Fireball was severe enough for this offense) was cut short as the currently rioting patrons of the inn were sent flying out through doors and windows (as well as a few opening holes in the walls). "Huh?"

Bomb di wind doesn't generate a potentially lethal sonic shockwave like Bram Gush or Dimilar Wind. It just generates a seriously high-power wind, good for sending one's opponent flying without any real danger of death or injury. As such, the brawlers were all more or less capable of combat, and in such a mood to consider it.

"What the hell..."

"It's very bad form to destroy a patronage like that," the waiter announced.

Lina paused as she stalked forward to the still-conscious and therefore unsuitably maimed opponents. Hey, that guy looks kind of familiar...

"Why you...who the hell do you think you are?!"

Trent (yes, he's the waiter) shrugged. "Trent. But personally I think you have more serious problems to consider."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

He jerked a thumb back towards Lina. "Her. I somehow doubt Miss Inverse here is terribly pleased with your interrupting her meal."

Dropping the name had the desired effect; most of them ran off screaming at the thought of what she'd probably do to them. The wimpier combatants were forced to think about where to find new pants and undergarments. The handful who were drunk or crazed enough to actually attempt to fight back were...hang on, I want to make sure I catalog this adequately...fire- balled, burst-rondo'ed, supplexed, battered, and dill-branded.

Trent winced at the sight of what was left after she decided that they'd been sufficiently punished for interrupting her meal. "Um...was all that completely necessary?"

Lina turned to regard him, her gaze turning curious. "You...I don't know why, but you seem kinda familiar."

"Five years ago, I think. Before you were quite so...well-known. You torched a group of bandits trying to rob me, and I bought you lunch in thanks. Ring any bells?"

Lina paused, thinking for a while. She snapped her fingers as it returned. "That's right, you were the one who was asking so much about magic...the amnesiac."

Gourry peeked his head out from behind some barrels as it registered that sufficient time had gone by without any explosions. "He a friend of yours Lina?"

"Yeah, sort of. Like he said, we met briefly a while back; I just remembered him because he had pointed ears."

"I guess it's nice to know some things won't ever change," came a new if familiar voice.

Trent gave the new group a quick look-over. The blonde woman in the pink dress with the white robe and ridiculously huge green orb earrings didn't strike any memory buttons. Nor did the one-eyed fox-like creature or the sort of iguana-looking guy. The last one rang a few bells. After all, there weren't exactly a lot of men with blue, gravel-studded skin and metallic (in terms of consistency and not color) pale blue hair. "Well, the infamous Zelgadis Greywords."

Said chimera raised an eyebrow at the dark elf. "Do I know you?"

"Nope. We've never met; I only know your reputation."

Lina smiled at the familiar faces. "Hey Zel, Filia. What are you guys doing here? Waitaminute; Zel, don't tell me that you and Filia..."

The transformed priestess flushed at the inuendo. "DON'T BE ABSURD!" Getting her emotions under better control, she continued. "I've asked Mr. Zelgadis if he wished to accompany me as a bodyguard, and he agreed. THAT'S IT. Got it?"

Trent froze abruptly, his entire demeanor shifting from easy-going to scared-rabbit in seconds. "Her..."

Lina frowned at him. "What's going on?"

Trent turned and shot towards the nearest shadow (Jilis's, incidentally). "Can'ttalkrightnowgottagoI'llexplainlater."

Zelgadis's eyes widened as he became the first person in the worlds created by the Lord of Nightmares to witness shadow-walking. "Wha...what the heck was that? Is he a monster or something?"

Lina scratched her head in confusion. "Got me. Maybe that's some kind of new astral spell."

Then it came. A chilling, unearthly sound the likes of which mortal men and women were never meant to hear. A horrific, demonic noise that this author can only attempt to explain.

"OOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOO!"

Lina froze at the sound that had haunted her steps before she met Gourry. She turned slowly, ever so slowly, praying that her ears had been mistaken...

No such luck. It was Naga.

Gourry gaped at the sight of the would-be greatest rival of Lina Inverse. Not that he was alone; how many times do you see tall...for lack of a better term, stacked women dressed in near-microscopic black leather bikinis trimmed with skulls. "Who's that?"

Lina moaned quietly as she sank to the ground disconsolately. "Naga. God help us all."

She who was feces of goldfish flipped her hair to reveal the two square centimeters of skin that had been unrevealed before. "Well, if it isn't Lina Inverse, my one true greatest rival! Oh, and I see you've made some charming new friends."

Lina stared at her tiredly. "Naga, what are you doing here?" That and thinking why now? I thought I'd gotten rid of her a long time ago.

Naga sighed blissfully, her eyes misting up as sakura petals and pink light sprang up. "Oh, if only I could take the time to try and explain every detail to you. Unfortunately, my love has disappeared, and only I, Naga the White Serpent! can find him." With that she charged off, leaving everyone in a state of much relief.

Filia stared after the retreating (and cackling) figure. "Who...who the heck was that?"

"Is she gone?" came a very quiet, timid voice.

"GAAAH!" That came from Lina.

Trent took a furtive look around before fully reappearing; he'd been inside Lina's shadow up to the neck earlier. "Ye gods of my ancestors, someone REALLY hates me."

Lina stared at the dark elf for a moment as she caught her breath. "What the hell kind of spell is that, anyway, huh?!"

Trent shrugged, still relatively pale from the ordeal of coming within the same time zone as Naga the White Serpent. "Shadow-walking; it's kind of like spirit shamanism. Basically it lets you use the shadow and astral planes to travel through. Only prolem is that you need shadows to travel through, and distance is kind of limited."

"How do you know that...woman?" Zelgadis asked. 'Woman' being the only polite term that came readily to mind when describing her.

Trent sighed, gesturing to one of the patio tables outside his place of employment. "It's a VERY strange story."

Cue the wavy-line flash-back effect.

--------

Trent grinned eagerly at his spell. He'd been trying to find out for quite a while the mechanics of inventing spells of one's own, and had decided on a test. Namely, the pit before him.

It had been over four and a half years since he'd started poking around Rei's lab, and he was almost finished; he had the concepts for a lot of spells to try and create/modify, but he needed to try a simple test.

A while back, he'd been introduced to a facet of this world's culture that had impressed him to no small degree. Hotsprings.

The only volcanoes in Lodoss are the Fire Dragon Mountains; the middle of a desert formerly populated by Shooting Star, a four hundred foot long killing machine. As such, hotsprings aren't exactly normal.

Here? They were a sensation.

He seriously doubted anyone else in their right mind would take it upon themselves to try and invent a spell that allowed one to make a temporary hotspring.

It was harder than you'd think; hotsprings are natural springs fed by underground vents of steam and seismic energy. As such, to 'make' one, you had to combine spells of fire, earth, and water simultaneously. That was the primary reason for trying this spell out; as a test to see how far one could go to alter existing magic spells.

In the end, he'd combined the tunneling spell Bephis Bring with Aqua Create and Vlave Howl. The three had actually had the desired result; a piping warm hotspring big enough for up to three people, capable of lasting for a good three or four days before it turned into a big puddle.

"Well looky here boys. Don't see that everyday."

Trent paused in divesting himself of his coat. Judging from the volume of the voice, it wasn't close enough to be meant for him. Still, he'd assume it was a bandit of some kind. Slinging his shortsword over his shoulder, he trotted towards the voices, taking the high road in the trees after it became feasible.

He was not expecting the accosted female to be five foot ten and be wearing a grand total of four square inches of material (not counting the cape). Heck, the skulls covered more flesh than her bikini.

Naga glared superiorally at the small group. "Oh? You find something amusing?"

Their leader laughed. "An outfit like that's just begging for trouble honey. So just hand over your money and we won't have to get unpleasant. And if you're real cooperative, we might be able to come up with some...compensation, if you get my drift."

Yep, subtle as a dragon slave.

Naga tittered at them (a formidable assault in its own right). "You foolish men, I could almost feel sorry for you. After all, you couldn't possibly have known that today you would be challenging the Great and Powerful Naga the White Serpent! OOHOHOHOHOHOOO!"

Trent groaned at the sight. Judging from her lack of weaponry, he'd assume she was a sorceress or something, so she might be able to handle herself. Still, it was the pseudo-heroic thing to help her regardless.

Hopping out of the tree, he stalked out of the underbrush with his wakizashi shortsword drawn, rustling the shrubs just loudly enough to attract attention. "Now pardon me, but this is hardly the sort of behaviour gentlemen should consider, is it?"

Said gentlemen replied in manners that I won't repeat; I'm trying to keep this fic mostly PG-13. Trent's reply was a series of lightning fast blows with the back edge of his sword, knocking most of them unconscious. As for the leader, he chose to test out a new spell that he'd particularly liked the sound of. "Wind, crimson flame; lend the power of thunder to my hands...Digger Volt!" Hmmm...slight over-kill. Better stick to monovolt in the future.

Naga stared at the elf in shock. He was dressed completely in black; long- sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, black leather gloves, and loose pants. He was sufficiently cute, he'd just proven to be a dashing-hero-who-rescues-damsels-in-distress, and he had this strange air of casual power that she found just darling. And he could even use magic.

Trent paused to regard her for a moment curiously. "Um, why are you out here on your own, anyway?"

He regretted it as Naga apparently decided to go the road of blushing schoolgirl. "Oh, I was just traveling on my own, when these awful men started to pick on me...oh, how can I ever thank you for saving me?"

Trent wasn't 100% sure why, but something about this woman was giving him a serious case of the willies. "Um, that's...quite alright. Anyway, it's probably dangerous for you to stay alone. My camps just a little ways off, if you don't have anywhere else to stay."

She didn't, unfortunately. Mainly unfortunate for him. She talked the whole way to the camp (not as long as you might think), but stopped in absolute dead shock at the sight of the camp.

A hotspring.

In the middle of nowhere, she'd found a hotspring.

To understand the significance here, one must understand the warped tesseract of neurons that make up Naga's consciousness. She really only has three vices in the world; money, irritating Lina Inverse, and hotsprings, in that order. If it has anything to do with hotsprings, she'll know it, and know it down to the tiniest detail.

Specifically, she knew every single hotspring in the world. And now one had appeared out of nowhere. "How...how did this get here?"

Trent had been hoping she'd just accept it as a bit of luck. Not going to happen. "Well...are you a sorceress?" At her affirmative nod (actually the crazed noblewoman laugh followed by a 'oh how could you tell') he contined. "I'm kind of learning too. I actually invented this spell to make hotsprings. Kind of weird, I know, but it's a challenge."

Naga froze in shock. He wore dark clothing that was sufficiently gothic in nature. He was a sorcerer. He was cute and sufficiently heroic for someone of her impeccable breeding (actually true; frightening, isn't it).

He could MAKE HOTSPRINGS. If this didn't qualify as her soulmate, then soulmates didn't exist.

The shock caused her to pass out in a dead faint right there.

Instinct had taken over, and Trent had managed to grab her before she hit anything important (you know, earlobes or a joint). In a moment of stunningly accurate intuition, he surmised that staying would be BAD beyond his limited mental faculties. As such, he'd hastily packed up what little he'd brought (not much, just his clothing, weaponry, books, and a bed- roll), and rode off. He'd left a note saying that he'd had pressing business elsewhere and that she should feel free to use the spring; it would last for three or so days.

Of course, she decided that simply knowing of him would be insufficient.

--------

Lina stared at the dark elf over his cranberry juice (he didn't drink, he'd confessed; allergic to alcohol). "Let me get this straight. Naga decides for some incomprehensible reason that because you have a spell that can make hotsprings, you're destined to be her husband or something equally scary. As a result, she's been chasing you for the past six months."

Trent nodded miserably.

Lina sighed, slumping into her chair. "Yeah, sound's like something she'd do."

Trent shrugged helplessly. "You know, I was trained as a spy and assassin a long time ago. I haven't used those skills in decades, but they taught me how to be VERY good at running, hiding, and covering my tracks. And I'll be damned if I can figure out how she manages to hunt me down so often."

"If there's one thing that Naga knows how to do, it's to find people who don't want to be near her."

Trent nodded. "I suppose." He turned in a slightly less depressed state of mind to Filia. "I'm sorry for interrupting you. What did you say your name was?"

"Filia ul Copt, a priestess for the Fire Dragon King."

Trent nodded. "Trent Shadowlight. Elf, sorcerer, and generally a vagrant. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Gourry shrugged. "So what are you doing here Filia?"

"It's Valgaav. He's turned up missing."

Lina swallowed nervously at that. It had been slightly more than a year ago that she and the rest of them had kind-of-not-really-but-almost killed him. During the time since, she'd understood that he'd returned to normal ancient dragon and had for the most part been a nice guy; they'd met him once after the whole affair, and he'd not seemed to have any problems at all with them stopping him from torching the world.

Now he was gone, and the worst case scenario included eventually hunting them down to kill. He wasn't powerful enough to survive a Ragna Blade (she was pretty sure), but that didn't mean they could win. And while granted there could be all kinds of less-than-worst-case scenarios, considering her normal actions can you blame her for a little caution? "Any idea what happened?"

Filia sighed, shaking her head. "All I can remember is that one day he was gone; no explanations, no notes, no sign of struggle; he just vanished."

Lina swallowed nervously. "Considering how strong he is, do you think that maybe someone tried to kidnap or attack him to use as a pawn? He'd be a heck of an ally."

"I just don't know. I've been looking for him for over two months now, and we haven't found even the tiniest trace of him." Filia frowned worriedly. "We're heading for Seyruun; we thought that maybe Amelia or Prince Philionel might know something we don't."

Lina stood up quickly. "So when do we leave?"

Zelgadis smiled faintly. "You're coming with us?"

Gourry's look was closer to vacancy. "Yeah, we are?"

Smack upside the head. "Yes, we're going with them. They're our friends, remember? Besides, I really don't want to find out the hard way what's going on here."

"Mind if I tag along?"

Filia turned in surprise to the dark elf. "You?"

Trent shrugged. "I don't have the faintest idea what's going on. What I DO know is that whatever it is, it has you guys spooked. Something tells me that leaving something like this alone could be extremely hazardous to my health. And like Lina said, I'd prefer not finding out about this the hard way."

Lina shrugged. "Sure, tag along. Know any other good spells?"

Trent grinned, wondering what her reaction would be to a lost spell he'd managed to uncover in the vaults. "You could say that. If worst comes to worst, I can handle spells about as strong as Burst Flare and such; mainly shamanism." He stood up, heading back into the inn. "I'll need to get some supplies and such from my room, so give me a couple minutes okay?"

Gourry scratched his head in confusion. "I still don't get it. What's so bad about Valgaav going off on his own?"

Lina and Zelgadis simultaneously bopped him over the head, though Zel was the one to actually explain. "It's simple, Gourry. If Valgaav's gone off on his own, then it isn't a problem. If he's been forced to do something or kidnapped, then he might eventually try and kill us. That would be BAD. Understand?"

"Oh."

About five minutes later, Trent arrived. He'd swapped his white tunic and vest for his worn, comfortable fighting togs; black pants and shirt with a new black overcoat, this one with a few nasty surprises. He still had his two sabers, though both were slung over his right shoulder; the more powerful opposing swords were resting securely in a pocket in the astral plane.

The changes visible were something else entirely. He'd swapped out his old bracers awhile ago for orihalcon wire-stiffened ones, holding not only his normal six scalpels but six more smaller exposed throwing knives. He was also uncharacteristically wearing jewelry; a bracelet set with three small jade cabachons on each wrist, larger star-sapphires on the backs of his hands, with a third sapphire on a pendant.

Most of which were intended to help his spell-casting. He had quite a few surprises to spring on the world now.

"DARLING!"

Trent's cool demeanor vanished as he swiftly invoked Raywing. "NOW! RUN FOR YOUR SANITY!"

to be continued...