Chapter 4: The impossible kiss
Son Goku didn't know how to react. What should he tell Vegeta, how should he explain it all? After all, he couldn't just say: Hey, I'm here cause I love you and I'd rather stay in hell with you than spend eternity in heaven. Very bad idea.
On the other hand he had come to say these three words, which, for some reason, he had never been able to utter before.
Determined, he stared directly into Vegeta's onyx eyes. The prince was taken aback by the sudden look on Goku's face. "Cause I missed you", Son Goku explained. Because I couldn't live without you.
The older Saiyajin frowned. "Because you missed me??" he asked in confusion. "Does that mean you are here in hell by your own will?" Goku nodded silently and Vegeta stared at him wide-eyed. "But how…? I mean… why?"
Goku didn't know the answer. Except: "I wanted to be with you."
Vegeta didn't really seem to grasp the meaning of this. Of course not. Someone like him couldn't imagine that anyone could be willing to make such a sacrifice. Finally he asked: "And how did you die?"
"I blew myself up, like you once did," Goku replied.
"Was it a new enemy? Did you beat him and became a martyr?" he mocked, a hint of jealousy sounding through his words.
Goku shook his head disapprovingly. "No, I just had enough. I couldn't live without you."
With a gasp, the prince's eyes went wide as he turned pale. "What?? You must be kidding! Kakarott, what's the meaning of this?"
"Vejita, I…" Goku stepped forward, but the prince backed off instantly. That discouraged Goku somewhat, he tried to find the right words. Vegeta, I love you! I missed you! I never want to be without you! He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. He had never been a man of words, he relied on actions. And so did Vegeta.
It was that thought which made him stop his search for the right words and instead prove the way he felt towards him wordlessly. Goku made another step toward Vegeta and again the prince backed off. But this time the younger Saiyajin didn't stop. Vegeta retreated further, until he stood with his back against a rock. He didn't say anything, but his eyes showed confusion, a hint of insecurity.
Son Goku didn't allow himself to think. He placed his hands on the cold stone, closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Vegeta's. Time stood still.
Because Son Goku kissed Vegeta.
And all of a sudden, they were so close to each other. Not only physically. Saiyajin could communicate telepathically, Goku knew that, but he hadn't known that a kiss could cause something like that. He felt… emotions, emanating from the prince; Confusion, refusal, warmth, and somewhere beneath all these feelings also fear. But Vegeta didn't resist.
Eventually Goku opened his eyes unwillingly, saw that Vegeta had shut his eyes tightly, and then they parted. Their empathic link got weaker, but it didn't disappear anymore, and Goku realized it had always been there. He couldn't help it, he smiled.
But Vegeta did not smile.
"Why did you do that?" he whispered in a futile attempt to sound angry. But he quickly recovered from his amazement and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand in an effort to hurt the other.
Goku inhaled, looked deeply into the other's eyes and said: "I love you."
Vegeta lost the last bit of his composure and he couldn't control his expression anymore. "You WHAT??" he yelled, stunned by this revelation. His head tilted to the side and he stared into nothingness, seemingly lost in thoughts. But he didn't seem to come to a conclusion, because he finally shook his head and hissed: "Why do say that? Are you kidding me?"
"No, it's the truth." Goku wasn't as calm as he appeared to be, but he had expected such an outbreak and had decided to keep his calm earlier.
Because he knew why Vegeta reacted so extremely. Goku had spent enough time with him to learn to understand his actions and motives. Vegeta had never learned that he could be loved just for being himself. He had never learned to accept the love of others or to love himself, not in his childhood as the Saiyajin-prince, nor on Freezer's ship. The only thing he had learned, had adapted perfectly, was to hide his feelings.
Deep down Vegeta was scared of closeness, of other's affections. And he reacted just the way Goku had expected. "You're CRAZY, Kakarott! I'm off, if you want to you can rot here forever, you idiot!"
Son Goku had been prepared for this and before Vegeta could blast off, he surged forward and pushed the other against the rock. He grabbed Vegeta's wrists and pressed him against the stone wall. "No! You will not run away this time!"
Next chapter: "Just as you are"
