Munich

            Gabriel floated in a drug induced haze. He hurt, dimly, almost like it was someone else's pain.

            Someone else's pain.

            Half remembered faces swam accusingly in front of his mind's eye. Hundreds of faces--more than twenty years worth--regarded him with pain and loss and regret. Some had cared for him, others had only used him as he had used them.

            A dream memory blasted into him--a dragon, burning him, calling him unworthy, only redeemed by the love of three women. Which women? Who had loved him? Gran loved him; he loved her.  That was one. His mother was long gone. Who else had he loved? No. Who had loved him? Malia? She did love him. Didn't she? He had loved her. She was the first women he had loved like that. Did her love redeem him? He had killed her, though. If only by not saving her. She was gone now, she couldn't love him, and his love had faded. He still loved her, but she was gone now.

            Now there was Grace. Grace, who had come for him when Malia would have inadvertently killed him. Grace, who had followed him across the ocean at the first hint of trouble. Grace, who had scraped him off the ground after that hunting trip. Grace, who stood by him when things were the roughest.

            Grace, who had left him when he failed to return her love. It was so obvious now.  Why am I so stupid! I deserve this. I/

            Clenching torn muscles around shattered bones, Gabriel plummeted into an abyss of pain.  I deserve this!  It was like the change--  I  deserve  this!  --the full body agony of bone and muscle and organ and skin shifting, bending, tearing. He was thrown back deeper into his mind by the sheer, excruciating pain that flared in every inch of his body. He tried to scream, but couldn't. The only sound was a weak whisper. . .

            "Friedrich. . . "

* * *

            Grace dashed into the hospital waiting room to find Gerde dozing in a chair. The blonde woman looked awful. Dark rings under her eyes were prominent on her pinched, pale face. Her hair was lank, seemingly too exhausted to bounce the way it normally did.

            Feeling guilty, but needing to know, Grace touched Gerde's hand.

            "Gerde?" Grace said softly. "I'm here. How is he?"

            "Grace?" Gerde woke with a start. "Oh, Grace. Thank goodness you're here. The doctor is with him again. He's hurt very badly."

            "What happened?"

            "Gabriel had been acting strange ever since he came back without you. He never told me much about what had happened between you. What happened?"

            "We-- I-- It's just-- He and I-- It's not important right now. The newspaper said that Gabriel was coming to India. Is that true?"

            "Yes. He had been brooding very much, lately. He finally said that he was going to see you. He said that he had made many mistakes in his life, but he was not going to lose you. Something along those lines, anyway."

            Grace had no opportunity to process that as Gerde continued. "He actually begged me to make the reservation for him, Grace. I believe he felt so guilty about what had happened that he would seek your forgiveness at any cost." Gerde met Grace's eyes and continued solemnly. "Gabriel has finally realized how much he cares for you. He loves you, Grace."

            Before Grace could formulate a reply, a sturdy woman entered and addressed Gerde in German for several moments. Grace watched intently, but could only pick out a few words. Still, the prognosis appeared to be positive as Gerde lost some of her worried expression.

             "Danke shoen,  Doktor Eisenbeis," Gerde said at last. The doctor smiled at Gerde, then at Grace before leaving the room.

            "Well?" Grace was tapping her foot.

            "He is stabilized now. The internal bleeding has stopped. As long as nothing excites him too much he will recover. We can see him now, one at a time."

            "Great." Grace began walking toward the door.

            "Wait! Let me go first. I think he should know that you are here before he sees you."

            "Oh. I guess that makes sense. Yes. Go see him, then go back to Schloss Ritter and get some rest. I can hold the fort here. You look ready to collapse, Gerde."

            Gerde hugged Grace tightly. "Thank you for coming. I love Gabriel like a brother, but he needs more. He needs you, Grace."


* * *

            Grace sat in one of the less dilapidated chairs and waited. This was hardly the reunion she had anticipated. She had always imagined just somehow bumping into him by chance, on a case of her own, perhaps. Fully trained and independent and superior to his stupid, smirking butt.

             Which is currently beaten up because he was trying to make up with me.

            No. Gabriel was perfectly capable of getting into trouble without any assistance.

 And I'm always the one to pull his butt out of the fire.  

            Resentment and guilt warred with each other in her head. As the battle reached a peak a door opened.

            Werner Huber came into the room, then stopped in surprise at the sight of Grace.

            "Miss Nakimura! I didn't expect to see you here."

            Two figures manifested behind him.

            "Grace?" one of them asked.

            "Mrs. Knight?"

            "Oh, Grace, dear. How are you? How's Gabriel?"

            "He'll probably be okay. Gerde's in with him right now."

            "Where are my manners? Grace, this young lady is my dear friend, Celeste Bradley. Celeste, this is Grace Nakimura. She's a friend of Gabriel's."

            "Nice to meet you, Celeste."

            "You too."

            "Mrs. Knight, we're only allowed to see Gabriel one at a time. Would you like to go next?"

            "Would you mind, dear? I haven't seen him in so long, and now, this--" She couldn't continue.

            Grace opened her mouth, but Celeste spoke first.

            "It's okay, Gran. He'll be fine. You heard the lady. He'll be just fine." The words seemed to calm Gran down.

            Just then the door to Gabriel's room opened and Gerde stepped out.

            "You must be Gabriel's grandmother. I'm Gerde. Thank you for coming."

            "I hear you've been caring for my boy, Gerde. Can I see him now?"

            "Of course. I'll just tell him you're here." Gerde vanished for a moment, then reappeared.

            "He'll see you now. I must warn you, he's very weak and not at all like himself. He is also on a lot of medications, so he may say some strange things. Try to disregard them."

            As Gran went into the room Gerde looked quizzically at Celeste, then speculatively at Grace.

            "May I have a word with you, Grace?"

            "Of course."

            Grace was directed into a corner of the room.

            "There is one other thing about Gabriel's injuries," Gerde began in a low tone. "I hesitate to bring it up, but I know you, Grace. You need to know so that you do not broach the subject and cause Gabriel pain."

            "What is it Gerde?"

            "It is very personal for Gabriel… "

            "Just tell me, already! Whatever it is, I can handle it."

            "There were many injuries when he was thrown from his motorcycle. There were also injuries from being thrown  into  his motorcycle."

            "Yes. I know that. What are you getting at?"

            "Grace! Please! Let me finish. What I am trying to say is that Gabriel--may have damaged his chances of… having children."

            "Do you mean he, uh," Grace blushed, "he may lose a testicle? Or something?"

            "He--" Gerde returned the blush with interest. "He may have permanently lost his ability to… to… well, to  function ."

            Cheeks burning, Grace asked, "He won't be able to… um… to show his interest?"

            Gerde nodded, embarrassed.

            Setting all other feelings aside, Grace thought back to a very enjoyable night in Rennes-le-Chateau. Impossibly, her blush deepened. "Ever?"

            Red cheeks were more evident than ever because of her fair skin when Gerde replied, "Possibly."

            "Oh my."

            "Indeed."

            "Oh."

            "Yes."

            The two women stared at each other in meaningful silence for a long moment. Gerde finally broke the quiet, saying something about going home, would Werner drive her?

Oblivious to the activity around her, Celeste peering curiously at her, Grace sank back into her chair and thought,  Gabriel impotent for the rest of his life? Poetic justice or--personal tragedy?