This is a story from a slightly different point of view. Each Senshi has at least two different identities and they have to be willing to accept them to function normally. Most of the Senshi are aware that they are both, who they are in this incarnation, as well as the Senshi that they are destined to become. This story looks to the one Senshi that doesn't know who she was, or rather, the one Senshi who has not accepted who she needs to become.

Narrated by the Senshi of Silence herself,

I Could Only Watch

By Ceila

Prologue - Birth

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I don't think I ever really lived during the Silver Millennium. I know that I was alive but I was dormant, watching as the evil grew and helpless to stop it. Of course the outer guard were intent upon looking for invaders from far away so they never really saw the danger coming. I did. I watched as it grew and I cringed at the vibrations that it sent out, so evil yet so small. They never saw it coming.

I know that one of them knew the course of time, she always does but I think I knew more than she did for once. As I slept, awaiting the call for the revolution, I knew that it was growing. I didn't really see the battle, I felt it, and like an infected wound it made my sleep restless. Then I felt the lowest blow, their deaths. As the guardian of death I felt it as if I were the one dealing the blow, my princess, my friends, my queen. One after the other they fell.

Then I was awake. Their deaths, and the pain from their departing souls, waking me from my slumber. I stood in the chamber taking in the atmosphere. Lamps lined the walls each twinkling in my eternal tomb. I guess it wasn't going to be eternal now. I was free. I called my glaive to my side and prepared for the final call, the revolution. The evil would not win on this day for I am the last line of defense. I am Sailor Saturn.

I was ready but my queen had another course chosen for me. The light was one of purity and hope and I don't think I shall ever forget the feeling of being engulfed in its embrace. For all of its comfort I heaved a final sigh of defeat before I let myself go once again into the slumber that I am so accustomed to. The light faded and I was once again in a New World, watching, waiting for my call.

* * *

I blinked her wide purple eyes and inspected this place as memories of the Silver Millennium disappeared like fog in the morning sun. Who was I again? Why was I dressed in this purple uniform? New voices filled her mind as the sounds of this place assaulted her senses. I wanted to tell them to be quiet, to reveal who I really was, but all she could do was cry. I fought for control of her young body but then I realized I was trapped inside the mind of a child. For whatever reason fate kept me here as my own separate person.

I sat back and watched as they cleaned, weighed, poked and prodded her. The indignity's that a baby had to be put through. "I'm glad I don't remember any of this from my own birth," I mumble as yet another nurse carries her across the room. She babbled at her in that baby talk voice that all adults use. "Oh isn't the little nursey so cute," I mimicked back to her in that same voice. "When I get out of here I swear I'll never use that dumb voice when talking to children," I mumbled as I plopped down on the floor of my private world. As she wrapped her in warm pink blankets and handed her to the doctor. I looked for the first real time at her parents.

"Congratulations it's a girl," said the doctor as he handed the new baby to her parents.

"What shall we call her?" asked the woman as she looked to her husband. She was covered in sweat and her black hair was matted to her forehead. She didn't look the greatest but then she just went through labor. She's probably really pretty when she's cleaned up.

"Hotaru," he said. His head of white hair was unkempt and his pale blue eyes were hidden behind wire rimmed glasses. This was her father? Well he looked kind enough. In fact he looked at her with an expression of awe.

"Oh yeah she'll have you wrapped around her little finger before she's old enough to know it," I said with a smile.

"Tome Hotaru."

"I like that name. Maybe this won't be so bad." I laid back and decided to enjoy watching the world through her eyes.

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Author's Note - In case you hadn't guessed already this story takes place during Sailor Moon S. Saturn has been reborn, sort of. Unlike the rest of the Senshi her mind did not merge with Hotaru's. How frustrated would you get if the outside world were nothing more than a big movie you could only watch? Look for the next chapter to find out how Senshi Saturn handles the pressure.

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