As James dragged the screaming-bloody-murder Lily off to... uh... Toronto,
Sirius blinked.
"That's it. I'm turning gay."
Remus stared as Sirius promptly began making out with Professor Flitwick. Kali wondered if she was entirely sure Professor Flitwick is even a guy. She decided she didn't care. It was then Peter ran over.
"REMUS!" He exclaimed giddily. "LOOK WHAT I DID!"
He pulled up ihs sleeve to reveal five thousand Dark Marks along with a tatoo that read "MOM". Remus stared.
"You joined the death eaters?"
"Yes!" Peter said, nodding.
Remus patted him on the head [;D!]. "Good boy." He gave Peter a peice of cheese.
Peter ate it. He promptly went from being STUNNINGLY HOT to old, fat, and bald. He kicked Remus in the groin.
"WHERE MY MULLET?" He exclaimed, grabbing the pocket-mirror from the flamingly-homosexual Sirius' pocket.
"DAMN YOU CHEESES FOR MAKING US THIS WAY!"
Lily and James, oblivious of Peter becoming a Death Eater and plotting to kill them, fornicated wildly in the corner.
"OH LILY!" said James.
"OH JAMES!" said Lily.
"OH MINERVA!" said Dumbledore.
After moving away from Dumbledore and Minerva, they had wild, wild monkey sex in front of little children and cute forest animals in the Forbidden Forest.
"OH LILY. I WANT TO KEEP YOU AND HAVE SEX WITH YOU FOREVER. LETS GET MARRIED, 'KAY?"
"....'KAY."
"I'M GONNA HANG YOU NAKED FROM THE CEILING AND BEAT YOU WITH CHAINS!"
".....'KAY"
Returning from the forest looking oddly happy and with messed up hair [then again, James' hair is always messed up] James promptly grabbed Sirius and dragged himf rom Flitwick.
"I'm getting married."
"So?"
"You're being my best man."
"Damnit, James, I was scoring."
"Dude, that's Flitwick."
"So?"
"Whatever."
James grabbed Sirius and Lily and dragged them to Peter and Remus. Remus, sprawled on the ground once more, whined something about being sterile and everyone wanting all of his balls to die. James kicked him for good measure.
"Get up, wolf-boy, we're getting married."
Remus stared. "I'm marrying you?"
"No, bastard," corrected James, the bastard everyone hates, "Lily and I are. And you and Peter are being in the wedding party 'cause you hot and I said so."
Remus beamed. "It will be an hon--"
"STFU! NO ONE ASKED YOU TO SPEAK!" Sirius pressed a button that promptly activated Remus' shock collar. Remus returned to submissive quietness and Sirius was oddly aroused.
"That's it. I'm turning gay."
Remus stared as Sirius promptly began making out with Professor Flitwick. Kali wondered if she was entirely sure Professor Flitwick is even a guy. She decided she didn't care. It was then Peter ran over.
"REMUS!" He exclaimed giddily. "LOOK WHAT I DID!"
He pulled up ihs sleeve to reveal five thousand Dark Marks along with a tatoo that read "MOM". Remus stared.
"You joined the death eaters?"
"Yes!" Peter said, nodding.
Remus patted him on the head [;D!]. "Good boy." He gave Peter a peice of cheese.
Peter ate it. He promptly went from being STUNNINGLY HOT to old, fat, and bald. He kicked Remus in the groin.
"WHERE MY MULLET?" He exclaimed, grabbing the pocket-mirror from the flamingly-homosexual Sirius' pocket.
"DAMN YOU CHEESES FOR MAKING US THIS WAY!"
Lily and James, oblivious of Peter becoming a Death Eater and plotting to kill them, fornicated wildly in the corner.
"OH LILY!" said James.
"OH JAMES!" said Lily.
"OH MINERVA!" said Dumbledore.
After moving away from Dumbledore and Minerva, they had wild, wild monkey sex in front of little children and cute forest animals in the Forbidden Forest.
"OH LILY. I WANT TO KEEP YOU AND HAVE SEX WITH YOU FOREVER. LETS GET MARRIED, 'KAY?"
"....'KAY."
"I'M GONNA HANG YOU NAKED FROM THE CEILING AND BEAT YOU WITH CHAINS!"
".....'KAY"
Returning from the forest looking oddly happy and with messed up hair [then again, James' hair is always messed up] James promptly grabbed Sirius and dragged himf rom Flitwick.
"I'm getting married."
"So?"
"You're being my best man."
"Damnit, James, I was scoring."
"Dude, that's Flitwick."
"So?"
"Whatever."
James grabbed Sirius and Lily and dragged them to Peter and Remus. Remus, sprawled on the ground once more, whined something about being sterile and everyone wanting all of his balls to die. James kicked him for good measure.
"Get up, wolf-boy, we're getting married."
Remus stared. "I'm marrying you?"
"No, bastard," corrected James, the bastard everyone hates, "Lily and I are. And you and Peter are being in the wedding party 'cause you hot and I said so."
Remus beamed. "It will be an hon--"
"STFU! NO ONE ASKED YOU TO SPEAK!" Sirius pressed a button that promptly activated Remus' shock collar. Remus returned to submissive quietness and Sirius was oddly aroused.
