THREE DAYS LATER...
Remus stood at the altar of Hogwarts Church dressed up like a priest. Yes, Hogwarts has a church. YOU DARE QUESTION THE ALMIGHTY AUTHOR? Anyway, they couldn't get a REAL priest on such short notice so Remus got a priesting liscense off the internet.
James stood nervously at the front of the church, quite aware that every single person in the church was staring at him. And since the entire student body and all the professors were in the church...there were a lot of people staring at him. Yeeep.
AND THEN...The music stuff began to play, and Peter pranced out in his pretty flower girl dress and threw rose petals as he went. Yes, because of the inexplicable lack of female characters, Peter is the flower girl. Then some bridesmaids I don't feel like naming walked down the aisle, all escorted by Sirius, who had 2 girls on each arm. Dont ask me how that's possible, because it was. "Here Comes the Bride" began to play, and James began to feel very nervous. Lily began to walk down the aisle, dressed in a beautiful sleeveless white gown that had been A) no doubt been very expensive, or B) Lily stole it off a corpse.
Anyway, she looked beautiful. There were flowers in her hair, which was let down and was long and flowing down her back, a rich chestnut colour. Her eyes looked like big green freshly mown front lawns on a summer's morning. She looked like an angel.
The only thought going through James' mind was 'I have the biggest boner EVER.'
Lily walked down the isle, escorted by Snape. Yes, Snape. Usually, it would be her father, but seeing as she was in a racy affair with Severus she would rather arm-link HIM. Anyoo, she reached the end of the alter and winked at James, who looked ready to pass out or have sex. Sirius' jaw was dropped in a 'I am fucking jealous, you bastard' way, Remus was wishing he hadn't become a preist so he could pursuade one of the bridesmaids to sleep with him, and Peter did not care because he doesn't like girls.
Remus droned on about the wedding speech thing, and, as predicted by every reader -ever-, when he got to the part about speaking now or forever hold your peace, another person burst into the room.
This person was unmistakeably ugly. Her carrot-y red hair was frizzy and curly, like a natural afro that went to her elbows. Her lipstick was a bright shade of pink and her eyebrows needed plucking badly. Her white would-be wedding dress resembled a white garbage bag and made several old men in the back of the church vomit in a corner.
She was also unmistakeably Lily Evans.
"WTF?"
James looked at the beauty beside him. It was then he noticed that really she looked nothing like Lily, particularly because her hair was chestnut brown and Lily was a redhead. The would-be-Lily, who had nearly married James, cackled insanely and turned into ... Professor McGonagal!
"Ahahaha!" Exclaimed McGonagal, relishing in the utter revoltion on every male's face, "NOW you see why I teach transfiguration!"
With that she promptly disapparated. James turned back to the much-less- pretty -real- Lily Evans. Lily gave him a look that implied he would not be getting any on their honeymoon.
Remus stood at the altar of Hogwarts Church dressed up like a priest. Yes, Hogwarts has a church. YOU DARE QUESTION THE ALMIGHTY AUTHOR? Anyway, they couldn't get a REAL priest on such short notice so Remus got a priesting liscense off the internet.
James stood nervously at the front of the church, quite aware that every single person in the church was staring at him. And since the entire student body and all the professors were in the church...there were a lot of people staring at him. Yeeep.
AND THEN...The music stuff began to play, and Peter pranced out in his pretty flower girl dress and threw rose petals as he went. Yes, because of the inexplicable lack of female characters, Peter is the flower girl. Then some bridesmaids I don't feel like naming walked down the aisle, all escorted by Sirius, who had 2 girls on each arm. Dont ask me how that's possible, because it was. "Here Comes the Bride" began to play, and James began to feel very nervous. Lily began to walk down the aisle, dressed in a beautiful sleeveless white gown that had been A) no doubt been very expensive, or B) Lily stole it off a corpse.
Anyway, she looked beautiful. There were flowers in her hair, which was let down and was long and flowing down her back, a rich chestnut colour. Her eyes looked like big green freshly mown front lawns on a summer's morning. She looked like an angel.
The only thought going through James' mind was 'I have the biggest boner EVER.'
Lily walked down the isle, escorted by Snape. Yes, Snape. Usually, it would be her father, but seeing as she was in a racy affair with Severus she would rather arm-link HIM. Anyoo, she reached the end of the alter and winked at James, who looked ready to pass out or have sex. Sirius' jaw was dropped in a 'I am fucking jealous, you bastard' way, Remus was wishing he hadn't become a preist so he could pursuade one of the bridesmaids to sleep with him, and Peter did not care because he doesn't like girls.
Remus droned on about the wedding speech thing, and, as predicted by every reader -ever-, when he got to the part about speaking now or forever hold your peace, another person burst into the room.
This person was unmistakeably ugly. Her carrot-y red hair was frizzy and curly, like a natural afro that went to her elbows. Her lipstick was a bright shade of pink and her eyebrows needed plucking badly. Her white would-be wedding dress resembled a white garbage bag and made several old men in the back of the church vomit in a corner.
She was also unmistakeably Lily Evans.
"WTF?"
James looked at the beauty beside him. It was then he noticed that really she looked nothing like Lily, particularly because her hair was chestnut brown and Lily was a redhead. The would-be-Lily, who had nearly married James, cackled insanely and turned into ... Professor McGonagal!
"Ahahaha!" Exclaimed McGonagal, relishing in the utter revoltion on every male's face, "NOW you see why I teach transfiguration!"
With that she promptly disapparated. James turned back to the much-less- pretty -real- Lily Evans. Lily gave him a look that implied he would not be getting any on their honeymoon.
