Disclaimer: I do not own them Sam I am (I don't own the Dr. Seuss (however you spell that) thing either).

Never Again: Chapter 13

Despite the fact that Kuja had become Garland's personal housemaid for the past week, Kuja was having a lot of fun. Cleaning for Garland seemed to have some advantages, mainly because the personal slave gained access to Garland's personal chambers - a perfect place for Kuja to work his more unorthodox magic skills. Kuja loved his unorthodox magic better than the regular magic that Garland had taught him. Garland, on the other hand, hated it. Kuja first got the impression that Garland didn't like them when Garland found that all the clothes from his closet were moved to the lake in the middle of Bran Bal. Then he started yelling at Kuja for it. Kuja simply answered, "You said you wanted me to clean out your closet. It's spotless!" That remark cost Kuja a meal and a soft bed. Garland made his spend the night fishing his clothes out of the lake.

Even though he didn't like the punishments, Kuja continued with his unorthodox magic. He heard a yell and realized that Garland had found Kuja's latest prank. Garland's bed was lined with shreddings of some papers Kuja had found in the lab. Kuja smiled and continued dusting like the "innocent" housemaid he was. Then he heard a door fly open from behind him follow by a slur of angry rantings.

"You called, 'Master' Garland?" Kuja answered without turning around to face him. Garland, however, did not give Kuja a response that was near as civilized as Kuja's. He responded by forcing Kuja up against a wall, wrapping his hands around his throat, and yelling at him until they were both blue in the face.

Kuja was not listening to a word of Garland's rantings. He was too busy trying to find a way out of Garland's grasp. He expected Garland to let go after awhile, but now Kuja was really starting to suffer from the lack of oxygen and was getting too dizzy to see straight. Unfortunately, his attempts at kicking Garland away were completely useless since Kuja's kicks were getting weaker by the second. His magic didn't work very well either since he wasn't able to concentrate. Then he tried yelling back. "Let go, psycho!"

As soon as he finally manage to yell something, he felt Garland loosen his grasp and then bring his hands away from his throat altogether. Kuja turned away from Garland and started coughing and gasping for air. "I wouldn't have had to strangle you if you didn't destroy all my work!" Garland said while raising his hands as if he were going to start strangling Kuja again.

"Oh, it was your work? I hadn't noticed," Kuja coughed.

"Even if it wasn't my work, there was no reason for you to rip it up and put it in my bed."

"You told me to clean up the lab," Kuja answered innocently. "I saw the mess of papers on one of the desks and decided to get rid of it, so I put it where the trash normally goes." Garland gave him a strange look. Either he was really good at holding in his anger or he didn't get Kuja's joke. It was probably the ladder. "Now let's see...What's my next chore?" Kuja thought outloud.

"Why don't you go another round in the noise experiment? For discipline purposes, this time," Garland remarked.

"Sweeping, that's what it was!" Kuja answered himself, completely ignoring Garland. "Say Garland, can I borrow your broom? Never mind, I could always get on my hand and knees and clean the floor with a tissue. That should be fun!" Kuja left the room and Garland stayed behind, gently massaging his temples.

By the time dinner rolled around, Kuja was almost done sweeping. Garland was in an unusually friendly mood that evening and let Kuja stop cleaning so he could get a meal. Kuja, however, though Garland's random act of kindness was somewhat suspicious, since he was so mad about the papers. Kuja kept his distance. He didn't speak and he definitely didn't try to make eye contact. His evasion techniques became more difficult towards the end of the meal, since Garland's unusually happy mood had called for some serious questioning.

Kuja had just finished his meal when Garland had put another plate in front of his face. "What's this?" Kuja asked suspiciously.

"Dessert, what does it look like?"

"I didn't even know that word was even in your vocabulary. You never give me dessert."

"Aren't I allowed to be nice once in awhile?" Garland answered with a smirk. Kuja started to examine his "dessert" carefully.

"This isn't drugged is it?" Kuja said while sniffing at it.

"I really thought we got off to a bad start this morning..." Garland said, completely ignoring Kuja's comment.

"Oh my God! It really is drugged!" Kuja said while starting to back away from his food.

"...So I decided to make it up to you..." Garland continued.

"I can't believe that you'd stoop so low as to drug me!" Kuja yelled while stomping out of the room.

"...No need to thank - Kuja? Where are you going?" Garland said when he finally realized that Kuja had left the table. He started to follow until Kuja snapped back at him.

"Just leave me alone!"
Author's Note: Hurray for me! I got another chapter done! (and you're thinking 'who really cares?') Anyway...uh...um...I'm too tired to think right now. Sure it's only 6:30 (p.m.), but I think I need a nap (and some sugar...ummm...sugar). That kinda explains this crappy chapter. I tried to get it done fast, but I'm too tired (and lazy). And let's not forget to mention the fact that my busload of homework is over in the corner taunting me.