Disclaimer: "Of Course I own Harry Potter, but still not Steve Irwin", sniffs the air, "Lawyers," suddenly hundreds appear and threaten with law suits, " Look guys it was a joke, I don't own Harry Potter! And still not Steve Irwin!"


"Dobby wonders why you would think that?"

"Fer one thing PEOPLE SHOOT LIGHTS THAT BLOW THINGS UP OUT OF STICKS!"

"They aren't sticks, they're wands."

"Oh, ok, Terri just take that frying pan and hit me real hard on the head."

"No master mustn't do that! I shall call Professor Dumbledore!"

"What the hic heck if hic he wants to hic die let hic him hic."

"Who is he?"

"She is Winky."

"Don't eat my head!" said Steve as he covered his head.

"I'm not hungry yet hic."

"Master, Dobby must take Winky to the room of requirements, you must go, here take some brownies and crumpets and go."

"But the wizards are out there trying to get me!"

"GO!"

Even as Dobby and some other Elves pushed him out he still protested untill he heard a voice, Miss Granger's.

"Hello Malfoy what do you want?"

"I'm a prefect just like you, mudblood, so I'm looking for that Weirdo."

"Look Malfoy, he has a name, Steve."

"He's just a muggle, so what should I care, just like you."

"Looks like Miss Granger, or is her name Mudblood? Went over there, let follow, that evil one would probably kill me. Let's follow her!"

"Hermione what's wrong?"

"It's Draco, he called me a mudblood again." said Miss Granger/Mudblood/Hermione.

"It's ok, your with me now."

"Oh my God! The wizards seem to be doing a mating ritual! I can barley contain my excitement! Terri are you getting this?"

"Yes Steve, I can hardly contain my excitement too!"

"Oh Harry!"

"Looks like they're moving closer now!"

"Harry I lo-"

"Harry! Where are you? Hermione!"

"Ron! Why does he have to be over here now?!?!" whispered Harry.

"Sigh. Ron! We're over here!" said Hermione.

"There you are! Dumbledore wants us in the Great Hall."

"For what Ron?" asked Harry.

"Something about the weirdo in the school, I think that we'll have a repeat of what happened when Siruis came here.

"Hurry though, Dumbledore is going to a speach.