Disclaimer: I do not own the original ER characters, however I have made up
a few of my own
Falling Down: Popping Pills
~*~*~*~*~*~
Four hours they searched for him and came up with nothing. They were exhausted and agreed to call each other if they heard anything, no matter what time it was.
Susan was about ready to pass out when she saw him sitting against her door, knees propped up, a bag at his side.
"Where have you been?" she asked as she kneeled beside him. He shrugged. "What's wrong?" she asked, slowly reaching over and feeling hiss pulse. He pushed her and away and that's when she felt something hard connect with her shoulder. She grabbed his arm and pulled back his sleeve to reveal a plastic cast wrapped with an ACE bandage. "What happened?"
"How long are you going to make me sit out here?" he asked finally looking at her. That's when she saw the black eye and swollen jaw.
"You're only coming in if you tell me what the hell happened to you."
"Fine," he said as he slowly stood up and grabbed his bag. She unlocked the door and watched him step inside, the bag dropping to the floor.
"I need to make a call," Susan said quickly dialing a number as Carter shrugged out of his coat. "Luka, it's Susan . . ." she saw Carter's face as his movements falters.
"Hang up the phone," he growled, shaking his head.
On the other end, Luka was trying to get Susan's attention.
"I have to go," Susan said a minute before Carter reached for the phone. "What's wrong?" she asked him.
"Leave Luka out of this. He's done enough. And if you think of calling Abby, I'll leave."
"Fine. I won't call. Just tell me what's going on."
"I was at the gym. Not a big deal."
"Did you get in a fight?" Susan asked shrugging out of her own jacket.
"Sure."
"Sure? What kind of answer is that?"
"Boxing."
"Have you boxed before?"
"You should have seen the other guy." She watched as he opened the fridge and pulled out a water bottle.
"Did you break your wrist?"
"Four places. Maybe I shouldn't box with an already injured wrist. Kind of hurt." Now he was just getting on her nerves.
"What is going on in your head?"
"I forgot," he said with a smile.
"Fill me in or I'm calling Abby." She picked up the phone.
"I really hate you sometimes," he said as he laid down on the couch, placing the cold water bottle to his eye.
"You are my best friend, John Carter. I love you. I don't like seeing you in pain." She sat on the edge of the couch and removed the water bottle from his eye, gently touching the area. He never flinched.
"I love you too," he said taking her hand.
"Now you're going sappy on me?" she asked.
"I quit," he blurted, putting the water bottle back to his eye.
"Quit what?"
"Life. My job."
"You quit county? Why?" she asked, standing up.
"I can't work there anymore," he told her, lowering his hand.
"Why?"
He sighed. "Have you ever had the feeling that you're drowning and you can't reach the top?" he asked her.
"Once." She looked into his eyes and waited for a response.
"That's how I feel every time I look into your eyes," he said with a smile. She hit his arm. "Ouch."
"I'm serious."
"Every time I step into the ER, that's how I feel. I can't breathe."
"Have you talked to someone about this?" she asked.
"You sound like Luka."
"I'm serious."
"Yes. Every day since I got back from Africa."
"What did he say?"
"He said that I should live life to it's fullest." He sat up and gently brushed arms with Susan.
"Why do you keep talking like this?" she asked.
"Like what?"
"Like suicide." He was silent as he looked at her. He slowly leaned in and his lips brushed against her. Susan didn't quite enough as he pulled back and looked down at his feet.
"Thank you," he whispered.
"I didn't do anything."
"You love me." There wasn't two seconds between the moment her hand touched his cheek and their lips meet in another kiss. This time it was masterful. It wasn't gentle and slow, it was rough and fast, and it wasn't only him. His body followed hers on the couch and things slowed a little bit. He spent time savoring the taste of her mouth, memorizing it. She was shaping his chest as his shirt was peeled off his shoulders. He was so lost in the feel of her that he didn't feel her unbutton his jeans until her hands were rested firmly on his butt. It took Susan a few seconds to recover from his sudden movement out of her arms. He was sitting in a chair across the room, his head in his hands. And that was the first time she noticed the gauze wrapped around his wrist.
She quickly went to his side.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I shouldn't do that to you. I can't believe I did."
"It's not your fault. It takes two to tango."
"You should crash. You've been at work for awhile."
"Not until I know you're okay."
"I'm fine," he said. She slowly reached for his hand and looked at the gauze.
"John, this is not okay," she said.
"I'm fine. I'll be here when you wake up."
Finally she sat up and then stood.
"I have a big bed," she said.
"Not a good idea right now," he said with a soft smile. "I think the last thing we want is to take our relationship to that level."
She nodded and disappeared into the bedroom.
~*~*~*~*~*~
When Susan woke up, she could smell the coffee brewing and breakfast cooking. Carter sat silently, only drinking coffee as she sat. Halfway through the meal he excused himself to take a shower. Susan waited for him to start humming in the shower before walking over to his bag. She didn't have to dig far. Her hand curled around and touched multiple pill bottles.
"Hey Susan," he called.
"Yeah?" she asked standing up quickly and walking to the door.
"Do you want a ride to work?" he asked walking out fully dressed.
"I thought you quit."
"I gave my notice." He finished tying his tie and walked over to his bag. She heard him pull out a bottle and shake out a pill. For him to be open about his drug habits didn't seem right.
"Carter, don't," she said moments before he put the pill into his mouth.
"What's wrong? It's only a vitamin," he told her. His smile faded when he saw her expression. "What's going on with you?" he asked zipping his bag.
"I should be asking you the same thing." She ran her hands through her hair. "I saw the pills, Carter." His expression went from curious to furious. "If you're using again then maybe you should quit now."
"Remember when I told you I'm sick of depending on other people? This is why I can't trust you," he said angrily as he picked up his bag and slammed her door on the way out.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Author's Note: Please continue to R&R as I develop my story more and work out Carter's problems.
Falling Down: Popping Pills
~*~*~*~*~*~
Four hours they searched for him and came up with nothing. They were exhausted and agreed to call each other if they heard anything, no matter what time it was.
Susan was about ready to pass out when she saw him sitting against her door, knees propped up, a bag at his side.
"Where have you been?" she asked as she kneeled beside him. He shrugged. "What's wrong?" she asked, slowly reaching over and feeling hiss pulse. He pushed her and away and that's when she felt something hard connect with her shoulder. She grabbed his arm and pulled back his sleeve to reveal a plastic cast wrapped with an ACE bandage. "What happened?"
"How long are you going to make me sit out here?" he asked finally looking at her. That's when she saw the black eye and swollen jaw.
"You're only coming in if you tell me what the hell happened to you."
"Fine," he said as he slowly stood up and grabbed his bag. She unlocked the door and watched him step inside, the bag dropping to the floor.
"I need to make a call," Susan said quickly dialing a number as Carter shrugged out of his coat. "Luka, it's Susan . . ." she saw Carter's face as his movements falters.
"Hang up the phone," he growled, shaking his head.
On the other end, Luka was trying to get Susan's attention.
"I have to go," Susan said a minute before Carter reached for the phone. "What's wrong?" she asked him.
"Leave Luka out of this. He's done enough. And if you think of calling Abby, I'll leave."
"Fine. I won't call. Just tell me what's going on."
"I was at the gym. Not a big deal."
"Did you get in a fight?" Susan asked shrugging out of her own jacket.
"Sure."
"Sure? What kind of answer is that?"
"Boxing."
"Have you boxed before?"
"You should have seen the other guy." She watched as he opened the fridge and pulled out a water bottle.
"Did you break your wrist?"
"Four places. Maybe I shouldn't box with an already injured wrist. Kind of hurt." Now he was just getting on her nerves.
"What is going on in your head?"
"I forgot," he said with a smile.
"Fill me in or I'm calling Abby." She picked up the phone.
"I really hate you sometimes," he said as he laid down on the couch, placing the cold water bottle to his eye.
"You are my best friend, John Carter. I love you. I don't like seeing you in pain." She sat on the edge of the couch and removed the water bottle from his eye, gently touching the area. He never flinched.
"I love you too," he said taking her hand.
"Now you're going sappy on me?" she asked.
"I quit," he blurted, putting the water bottle back to his eye.
"Quit what?"
"Life. My job."
"You quit county? Why?" she asked, standing up.
"I can't work there anymore," he told her, lowering his hand.
"Why?"
He sighed. "Have you ever had the feeling that you're drowning and you can't reach the top?" he asked her.
"Once." She looked into his eyes and waited for a response.
"That's how I feel every time I look into your eyes," he said with a smile. She hit his arm. "Ouch."
"I'm serious."
"Every time I step into the ER, that's how I feel. I can't breathe."
"Have you talked to someone about this?" she asked.
"You sound like Luka."
"I'm serious."
"Yes. Every day since I got back from Africa."
"What did he say?"
"He said that I should live life to it's fullest." He sat up and gently brushed arms with Susan.
"Why do you keep talking like this?" she asked.
"Like what?"
"Like suicide." He was silent as he looked at her. He slowly leaned in and his lips brushed against her. Susan didn't quite enough as he pulled back and looked down at his feet.
"Thank you," he whispered.
"I didn't do anything."
"You love me." There wasn't two seconds between the moment her hand touched his cheek and their lips meet in another kiss. This time it was masterful. It wasn't gentle and slow, it was rough and fast, and it wasn't only him. His body followed hers on the couch and things slowed a little bit. He spent time savoring the taste of her mouth, memorizing it. She was shaping his chest as his shirt was peeled off his shoulders. He was so lost in the feel of her that he didn't feel her unbutton his jeans until her hands were rested firmly on his butt. It took Susan a few seconds to recover from his sudden movement out of her arms. He was sitting in a chair across the room, his head in his hands. And that was the first time she noticed the gauze wrapped around his wrist.
She quickly went to his side.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I shouldn't do that to you. I can't believe I did."
"It's not your fault. It takes two to tango."
"You should crash. You've been at work for awhile."
"Not until I know you're okay."
"I'm fine," he said. She slowly reached for his hand and looked at the gauze.
"John, this is not okay," she said.
"I'm fine. I'll be here when you wake up."
Finally she sat up and then stood.
"I have a big bed," she said.
"Not a good idea right now," he said with a soft smile. "I think the last thing we want is to take our relationship to that level."
She nodded and disappeared into the bedroom.
~*~*~*~*~*~
When Susan woke up, she could smell the coffee brewing and breakfast cooking. Carter sat silently, only drinking coffee as she sat. Halfway through the meal he excused himself to take a shower. Susan waited for him to start humming in the shower before walking over to his bag. She didn't have to dig far. Her hand curled around and touched multiple pill bottles.
"Hey Susan," he called.
"Yeah?" she asked standing up quickly and walking to the door.
"Do you want a ride to work?" he asked walking out fully dressed.
"I thought you quit."
"I gave my notice." He finished tying his tie and walked over to his bag. She heard him pull out a bottle and shake out a pill. For him to be open about his drug habits didn't seem right.
"Carter, don't," she said moments before he put the pill into his mouth.
"What's wrong? It's only a vitamin," he told her. His smile faded when he saw her expression. "What's going on with you?" he asked zipping his bag.
"I should be asking you the same thing." She ran her hands through her hair. "I saw the pills, Carter." His expression went from curious to furious. "If you're using again then maybe you should quit now."
"Remember when I told you I'm sick of depending on other people? This is why I can't trust you," he said angrily as he picked up his bag and slammed her door on the way out.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Author's Note: Please continue to R&R as I develop my story more and work out Carter's problems.
