MAGIC KINGDOM

Chapter 2: That's not a knife…

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit-making, harmless piece of fluffy fanfic fun. Raziel, Kain, Nosgoth and all the rest of its inhabitants belong to Eidos, Crystal Dynamics, and all the rest of the good people who created Legacy of Kain. The wolf-girl, Lupa, however, is my creation and as such belongs to me.

"So that guy…"

"…was my brother, yes."

They were walking back to the Sanctuary of the Clans. Raziel's new gift of phasing through walls while in the spectral realm had proved somewhat difficult for Lupa, who claimed she didn't like being spectral anyway and that phasing made her feel sick.

"But you have other brothers?"

"Yes."

"Are they all that gross?"

"I have no idea. I haven't seen them for several millennia."

Raziel seemed in ill temper for some reason, marching ahead, cloven hooves clicking on the hard ground. Lupa jogged to keep up.

"He was pretty gross, though, right?" she said, trying to cheer him out of it.

"Yes, Lupa, he was gross. He was a vile heaving monster, unworthy of a place on this earth. Are we done discussing him now? I don't really want to talk about it."

Raziel pushed open the door to the warp-gate and it nearly swung shut in Lupa's face.

"Raz, wait…"

She caught up with him leaning against the gate itself. His posture was slumped and weary. The fighting staff he held dangled loosely between his claws, pointed end in the dust.

"Oh, Raz, did he hurt you?"

She hurried to his side, eyes flicking all over him, searching for wounds. "Are you okay?"

"He didn't hurt me." Raziel straightened up. "A huge, slow, stupid beast like him? I don't think so."

"But he was your brother," said Lupa, slowly understanding, "and though you hated him you didn't really want to be a murderer."

Raziel looked at her for a moment with his glowing, featureless eyes, then activated the warp-gate and beckoned her to follow him without another word.

"This place smells funky," Lupa complained as Raziel twisted reality around him and they both emerged into the material realm once again. "Did something die? Cos it smells like something died."

Raziel, eyeing the huge, ornate double-doors right in front of them with deep suspicion, made no comment.

"Or maybe it's the drains," Lupa persisted, on her seemingly unstoppable train of thought. "Do you even have drains in this place? Running water? A sauna?"

"Lupa," said Raziel, as calmly as he could manage, "please be a nice girl and shut up."

His air of unease finally filtered through to her, and she made a zipping motion in front of her mouth.

Not for the first time, Raziel wished he had a weapon he could carry through the spectral realm. Armed only with his claws and anger, he pushed at the doors. They opened.

Before stepping over the threshold, Raziel turned to his companion and grasped her by the shoulders.

"Lupa, I want you to listen to me carefully," he said, watching her eyes widen at his serious tone. "Don't say anything, just listen. This is Kain's throne room. We're going to go in. But," he added sternly as Lupa began to make a comment, "you are not to get involved. If he kills me –"

She gasped.

"If he kills me," Raziel repeated patiently, "I want you to go back to the Elder's room and wait for me. Don't worry about my safety. Kain will kill you if he catches you, and you-" his eyes creased in a slight smile "- you don't bounce back from death like I do."

Lupa nodded, looking a little dumbstruck.

"Plus," said Raziel, wagging one claw at her severely, "Other things not to do. Do not say, "Wow, you're ugly," like you did to Melchaiah. Do not chew gum and then flick it at him. And especially do not make any jokes about him having a really big weapon."

Lupa smirked: but the expression quickly faded as Raziel strode out into the room, and she followed him, not too closely, trying to hide behind the pillars.

Kain's throne room was massive. A high, arched roof, supported by many columns, covered a room empty save for a giant, ugly seat in the centre. Lupa, peering out from behind the pillar, watched Raziel approach the throne, and nearly stopped breathing when the double-doors slammed shut behind her with a very final click.

"Raziel!"

Dropping into the spectral realm, feeling bruised and battered, Raziel saw Lupa running towards him. He scrabbled to his feet, already searching for the portal that would take him back to battle Kain again.

"Raziel, stop being such an idiot!"

Raziel swiped at a nearby wraith. "I'm going to get him," he said evenly.

"No you're not! I know you told me not to say anything, but that IS a really big weapon! It fires lightning and everything!"

"It's not what you've got, it's what you do with it that counts," retorted Raziel, eyeing his claws with slight satisfaction. He had drawn Kain's blood once. He could do it again.

He made the switch between spectral and material, ignoring Lupa's cries of warning, and ran directly at his tormentor, snarling like a furious beast. Kain stood perfectly still, the Soul Reaver humming in his hands. He drew back the sword to strike –

"Hey! Ugly boy!"

Startled, both Kain and Raziel turned to look. Lupa was sprinting towards Kain at breakneck speed, her denim jacket grasped in her hands. "Call that thing a pig-sticker?" she taunted. "That's a baby's butter-knife."

Kain turned an incredulous look on Raziel, who shrugged helplessly, as if to say, I don't know. She's definitely not with me.

"Feel the wrath of my mighty weapon, vampire scum!"

"Oh no," Raziel muttered to himself, as Lupa launched herself into the air and flung her jacket over Kain's head. The master vampire staggered briefly, his head swathed in faded denim, the Soul Reaver swinging wildly in an attempt to dislodge her. The wolf-girl clung like a limpet.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" she yelled, legs digging into Kain's ribs. "Hit him! Hit him now! I've got him!"

Raziel took two swipes with his talons and Kain roared in fury. His arms came up: Lupa was thrown through the air, striking a column hard and dropping to the floor in a huddle, her jacket covering her face. Raziel made it just one step towards her, afraid she was dead, before Kain smacked him with tremendous force between the wings and he fell to his knees in agony.

"Lupa." Raziel's voice sounded calm now, even slightly amused.

"Raziel? Where are you? I can't see…"

The room seemed very dark, and slightly warm. Lupa opened her eyes fully. Still nothing. Only darkness.

"Ahhhh! I've gone blind! He's blinded me!"

Raziel lifted up a corner of the denim jacket, gently. Blue light flooded Lupa's world.

"Okay, now I feel stupid," she said, sitting up and rubbing her head ruefully where a sizeable lump was forming. "Hey…what's that?"

"What," said Raziel, in tones Lupa thought sounded slightly smug, "this old thing?"

The wraith-blade, curling around his arm like a snake, hummed at her happily.

"Isn't that…"

"The baby's butter-knife, yes."

He made a practice pass with it. "It seems Kain has given me a birthday present. And after all those years, I thought he didn't care."

"If he's in a good mood, I'd sting him for back-dated pocket-money, too," Lupa advised. She glanced about the room. It was definitely lacking in Kain. "Where'd he go? Did you kill him?"

"Unfortunately not," Raziel replied. "He nearly killed me, though. Odd…"

"What?"

"I could have sworn he was laughing at me."

Lupa snorted.

"Am I allowed to make jokes about big weapons now?" she asked. "That thing's almost bigger than you are."

"You're allowed two jokes about big weapons. Starting now and finishing when we leave this chamber."

"Okay! There was a guy who walked into a talent agency. He had a box with him. He said to the agent, 'Can I interest you in seeing a twelve-inch pianist?….no wait…I think I got that the wrong way round…there was a guy who walked into a talent agency…"

Lupa scrabbled away from the edge of the Abyss, breathing hard, while Raziel watched her with narrowed eyes.

"Feeling better?" he asked. "Our little dice with death made us feel more alive? Hmmm?"

"Oh, shut up, fly-boy."

She stared out across the other side of the lake. "Hey. Where does that go?"

"That's brother Dumah's place," replied Raziel. "That's where we're going next. "

"Does it have a beach, by any chance?" asked Lupa, hopefully. "A pool? Somewhere I can get a drink?"