MAGIC KINGDOM
Chapter 4: Retail Therapy
Disclaimer: Raziel, Nosgoth and all its inhabitants belong to Eidos and the cheerful crowd at Crystal Dynamics who created Legacy of Kain. Kurt Wagner belongs to Marvel Comics (even if he's not always around!). The wolf-girl, Lupa, is my own creation and as such belongs to me. Heel, girl!
*smiles* wow, lots of people want to be at the mall with Raz and Lupa! I promise I'll try and fit everyone in at various points. Please don't be cross if it doesn't happen right away!
By the way, She-SmaugGuardian-of-Tears…*awww…little cub so cute!!!*
*Lupa grins and hugs Syvia right back* thankyou!
Lupa pushed open the door of the house and stepped into the hall.
"Kurt!" she called.
There was no reply. Raziel cautiously followed, keeping his wings resolutely folded close to his spine in case of ornaments.
After the defeat of Dumah, Raziel had kept his promise: they had found the warp-gate that carried Lupa between Nosgoth and her world, which she referred to as The Nexus, and passed through it together, with only a brief hiatus while Raziel tried to constrict things.
They had stepped out onto a tree-lined urban street. Raziel stood still: raised his head, as if testing the air, and his eyes glowed suspiciously in the early morning light.
"What's the problem?" Lupa asked.
"Nothing," said Raziel, scraping one hoof on the tarmac, as if testing its durability. "I thought there'd be more people at the mall, that's all."
"This isn't the mall," said Lupa. "This is Kurt's house. He just doesn't seem to be in."
"I am in," objected a voice from upstairs. "More to the point, I am in the bath. What do you want, meine freundin?"
"We're going shopping," Lupa called, bouncing on the bottom step of the stairs. "Do you want to come along?"
There was no reply, and a sound of splashing. Kurt Wagner poked his head over the bannisters, water dripping from his dark hair. "In a word?" he said. "No. I have a date."
He craned his neck a little. "Who's that with you?"
"This is Raziel," Lupa said. "He is the Reaver of Souls, Slayer of Vampires, and Revenger of the Elder God. I want to buy him a T-shirt and possibly some funky little earrings."
The mutant waved one hand in a friendly fashion. "Nice to meet you, Raziel. Now, with all due respect, can you both please go away? I have to get ready, and Lupa, you know how long it takes to dry off if you're flauschig* all over."
"Ku-rt?"
"Ye-es?"
"Can I borrow some money?"
"This is the Nexus Mall," said Lupa, gesturing to indicate the towering glass-and-steel building just ahead of them. "A mere short walk from Kurt's house, and here you go. Retail therapy and caffeine heaven, all in one easy-access area."
Raziel looked up at the mall and again shuffled one hoof, as if uneasy. His wings beat once at his back, fractiously.
"Look," said Lupa, rounding on him, "what is wrong with you? You've been trying to hide behind things all the way here. Don't think I didn't notice."
He gave in.
"Won't people think I look odd?" he asked.
"Claws and weird eyes come as standard round here, babe," said Lupa, flirting her tail. "Kurt comes shopping out here all the time, and he looks twice as blue and demonic as you."
He did not look convinced.
"You'll be fine," Lupa wheedled. "There are aliens who come shopping at this place. Tentacles. Eyes on stalks. You're practically a pin-up, Raz, trust me."
Raziel raised one eyebrow, incredulous. "Compared to most of the clientele at the coffee place we're going to, I'd ask you out in a second," Lupa continued. "Come on. I haven't come all this way and had to sweet-talk money out of Kurt for nothing. Besides, you owe me a packet of M&M's, boy."
She started to walk up to the automatic doors.
"Really?" said Raziel, slightly flattered. "You'd ask me out?"
Lupa abruptly turned and poked him in the arm, hard, with one stubby claw.
"Ouch," he complained. "What was that for?"
"You'll be slightly less conspicuous without a damn great wraith-blade on your arm. I've injured you – and lo, it has vanished. Now hurry up! We're wasting good shopping time."
"No," said Raziel patiently.
"How about this one?"
"No. I told you already."
A pause.
"Oh, now, this one…this one I like. Just try it on, please?"
Raziel looked at the stetson with weary resignation. It was black, unassuming, and had a leather band studded with animal teeth around it.
"If I try it, then can we go?"
"I suppose," said Lupa, grumpily.
Raziel grabbed the hat and jammed it over his black hair. "There. I look stupid. Are you happy?"
"Actually," said the assistant, leaning over and ignoring the incandescant anger in Raziel's eyes, "I think it looks kinda cute."
"I look cute!?" Raziel exploded, tearing the hat from his head in a hurry and flinging it down.
The assistant, whose name-badge read "Hi, I'm Silveriss, May I Help You?" looked slightly perturbed.
"Raziel," Lupa hissed, "you're scaring people." Raziel glared at her and went to stand by a rack of cowboy outfits and masks, back turned, wings raised angrily.
"He's really not scaring me," said Silveriss, smiling. "I had three vampires in here already this morning to buy silly string and green deely-boppers. That was the scary part. I was just wondering how angry he'd get if I told him he was even cuter when he's cross."
"Probably best not to go there," Lupa advised.
They both regarded Raziel, who was picking at feather boas with his heavy talons, and grinned at each other. "Pink's not your colour," Lupa called, and he glowered menacingly.
"He's not from around here, is he?" asked Silveriss.
"Not exactly. I sort of fell into his world via a trans-dimensional warp gate while I was trying to get to see the Halloween Parade at Disneyworld. You know how it can be with those gates…you can end up in Alberquerque if you're not careful."
"He looks a little –"
"Dead? Yeah, well," said Lupa, dismissively, "nobody's perfect."
"I was gonna say pale. But dead comes closer to it, I guess."
"I'm ignoring you," said Raziel to Lupa, somewhat paradoxically, as they wandered towards the cinema end of the complex. Lupa, trailing a hat-box from her hand (she'd bought the stetson from Silveriss anyway, with a view to foisting it off on Raziel later) pouted.
"Why?"
"Because."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Why?"
"Because – look, I'm not having this conversation," said Raziel, exasperated. "We've been into at least twenty shops and you have tried to make me wear-" he held up both sets of claws, counting off on them – "three hideous shirts, one with pineapples on, a heavy golden chain with a gold…what was it?"
"A boxing glove," said Lupa miserably.
"Right, gold boxing glove on it, a black leather coat that smelt of Dark Gods know what, and I would go on but look, I've run out of claws."
They sat down on a bench outside the cinema, Raziel still broadcasting waves of disapproval. Lupa decided it was best not to try and apologise, and went for the all-purpose remedy of distraction instead.
"Hey!" she said suddenly. "I know what would cheer you up! Let's go see a movie!"
Raziel attracted more attention in the lobby of the cinema, for some reason: the cinema staff watched him warily as he knelt down to peer, fascinated, at the workings of the popcorn machine. Lupa was at the kiosk, buying tickets: she then wandered off in the vague direction of the ice-cream stand.
Raziel watched the grains of popcorn circulating behind the plexiglass – he sneakily aimed a fire glyph at the boxes behind the counter and watched the staff scurry to control the sudden explosion of popcorn that resulted. His eyes narrowed in amusement.
"What are you up to?" Lupa asked, suspiciously, returning to his side carrying a waffle cone with real crushed strawberry sauce, and eyed the three assistants with brooms who were moodily sweeping popcorn up into towering white piles.
"Nothing," said Raziel innocently. "Can I have some of this white stuff, please? It looks interesting."
"You want popcorn? Sure," said Lupa agreeably, dismissing any contemplation of how Raziel would eat the stuff from her mind. She leant on the counter and caught the eye of the girl at the till.
"Welcome to the Nexus Cinema," the girl said. "My name is Venris. What can I get you?"
Lupa glanced back at Raziel.
"You want sweet, salt, butter, toffee?"
"Don't complicate this with choices," admonished Raziel. "You pick the one you like."
"What's the point in me doing that? I'm buying it for you."
"But I've never had it before! How would I know what flavour I like? I was bowing to your superior judgement in these matters!"
Lupa turned back to face Venris, exasperation showing on her face.
"Have you two been going out long?" asked the girl, sympathetically. "And can you please ask him not to do whatever it was he did again? There aren't enough brooms in the world if the spare popcorn stock goes up."
"Not long, no," said Lupa, not bothering to point out that they weren't an item at all, "and we're not likely to stay together if he keeps on behaving like that."
She glared at Raziel's back.
"I hate him sometimes. What do you think I should get him?" she asked.
"I'd say toffee with extra butter on top," Venris said. "He's way too skinny, girl. He needs feeding up. Would you like any candy with that? We have M&Ms…."
"Raziel!" Lupa called, imperiously.
Two hours later, and Raziel strode rapidly from the theatre, Lupa jogging to keep up. They were arguing.
"It didn't make sense!"
"I thought you'd like it! There were dead things! They got shot!"
"Yes," said Raziel, dangerously, "what were those things? Melchahim?"
"Zombies, Raz. They were zombies."
"And why was that woman fighting in a dress? Most impractical, I'd have thought."
"She just was! Okay?"
"Not okay!"
Lupa sighed, giving up.
"Okay," she said. "Maybe you're more of a westerns type of guy. I'm sorry. I really thought you'd like it."
"Fine, then," said Raziel, forgiving her at least in part and chivalrously taking her shopping bags from her. "Now. You mentioned coffee?"
"I did," said Lupa, gratefully clutching at any option that would absolve her from having to discuss the film some more.
"Then we shall have coffee," said Raziel magnanimously. "And you can explain to me what the hell an Umbrella is."
