Disclaimer: I don't fucking own anything.
I am in a really fucking bad mood. I just tried to drown myself in the sink. Just kidding. But I AM really pissed. My comp. Screwed up so I have to write this whole fucking episode over! I hate everything! FUCK!!!!
*/*/*
*fade in to JTHMTS news set*
Devi: hello. This morning we are starting off with the news. First we have fanfic news. As soon as Moonchild finishes her JTHM fics 'Bullet With Butterfly Wings', 'The Rose', and 'My December', she is starting three more. One entitled 'Tables Turned', one that is her version of the JTHM movie, and one that is currently untitled. Please ask her for the summary so you can help her with the title. If you want to read Moonchild's FIRST ever JTHM fic 'Johnny's Downfall', do so soon because soon it will be taken off of ff.net, though it is not finished. Tenna, please continue the fanfic news.
Tenna: Okee dokee. Well, anyway, there are some ff.net fics that Moonchild feels are the best she's ever read, so we're going to give you the URLs for them, OK? OK. Here we are. Copy and pate the URLs into the search bar go read them.
'Squee Gets A Babysitter', by ReiNny.
'Dear Heart' by Kitty-N.
'Johnny's Return' by ReiNny.
'Enough To Stay', by Sparkle Itamashii.
'A Yearning' by LittleMaggie,
'The Ghost Slips Away', by StrangeEmily13.
AND 'Ignorance Is A Burden' by Jezebelle.
Read these stories! They are awesome!!!!!!
Devi: And now, for some irrelevant news, Evanescence is coming to Moonchild's town of August 9! That's right! In her opinion they're the world's best band along with Disturbed and Linkin Park. Woo! Hey wait a sec. Why am I telling you this? Moonchild, you idiot, no one cares about Evanescence!!!!!!!!
*Devi is attacked by angry Amy Lee and Ben Moody fans*
Devi: HELP!
Amy Lee: *in front of a tv in some random place in the world* What's going on?
Tenna: Poor Devi. Now, let's go to the real show!!!!!!
*fade to regular set*
MC: Hello. Welcome back. And now, I will reply to all the reviews I've gotten so far since the last episode. Forgive me if I miss any. You can just read the reply to the review you sent if you sent one and skip the rest. This part has no importance. I just wanted to have a chance to reply to all my reviewers. The first review is from Spork Master G. Spork Master says:
Yay! I want Anne Gwish to be on the show, she makes me laugh for she is shallow. So very shallow. And yet, my sister reminds me of her at times. O! QUESTION TO NNY : How much would could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck COULD chuck wood?? That's the real question here. HEY! How come the other writer people get to be on? How come I can't be on? Hm?! boop :P
MC: Well, your wish has been granted. You are appearing in the next episode! And your question is going to be answered next, when the characters answer questions! Yay! And Anne Gwish will appear soon. I hate her. She is evil!
Nny: I don't understand what's going on!
Random audience person: You're stupid Johnny!
MC: *flies into defensive mode* Don't you DARE insult Nny!!!! Sic that audience person, Lance! *throws her pink squeaky hippo at the random audience person*
Random audience person: AHHHH!!!!
MC: it's OK Nny. Nobody insults Johnny C. and lives. OK, next review. It is from ReiNny.
'you can kill my fanchar, Jennifer, she is about to go psycho on Devi in my fic 'squee gets a baby sitter, she is also Squee's baby sitter, she dosn't like Devi very much... oh and she smokes, and johnny dosn't like that, add her whether you kill her or not :P i'm added you to my favirot list'
MC: Yay! I will take what you said to mind, yay! Jennifer shall appear as soon as I get around to it! Next review is from GothicAngel.
'Hehehe! This was ultra-funny! I like the part where Devi and NNy are waltzing. I like the part with Tenna and the bee suit too."JOHNNY YOU LITTLE FUCK!"And then the cheese-whiz! *falls over laughing* Heh... Actually.. I like all of it. This is all really funny! Hope you continue writing soon. I like to get a good laugh every once in a while.~*~ GothicAngel ~*~'
MC: Thanks GothicAngel. I'm glad you saw the humor in my demented writing! ^_^ I am quite glad you liked it. Nothing makes me happier than when people can read my fics without dying. Yay! Now, the next review is from Ebony River.
'the people arent in character, NNy doesnt really act like this and Devi wouldnt have forgiven him. damn it. oh well. good story. charnogs. yeah. ARGH! FUCKING TOASTER! ok, i wanna ask HNB: if jello that has fruit in it takes over the world what will happen to all the sharks with hidden scales? that always bothered me...With all due respect, Ebony'
MC: OK Ebony, I've got to explain some stuff about the fic, huh? I didn't see much OOCness in Nny...OK, yeah I did. But I'm perfectly at liberty to make him act however I want in my show. That's the beauty of having a show where I can speak my mind. And how can you be sure Devi wouldn't have forgiven him? She might have. No one knows for sure but Jhonen..unless you are Jhonen in which case you know and I am sorry for saying you didn't know. And also, I will make sure your question for HNB is answered. Now, the next review is another from Ebony River. Wow, you've been busy reviewing, huh?
'argh!! and another thing that is bothering me is that NNy's killing is really unorigonal. he is really creative with his torture, because one of the greatest human fears is pain, and he takes advantage of that. i do too, but thats besides the fact. seriously though, please get more creative with the way NNy kills. With all due respect, Ebony'
MC: OK, I have things to say. If Nny's killing in here was unoriginal, it is your opinion, not mine. You can think whatever you want. It's none of my business. And maybe some people would find the killing original. I don't know, I am not a homicidal maniac. The only person I've ever come close to killing is myself, but that's off the subject. Digression is fun. I love getting off the subject. And even though I know I should, I am not going to change Nny's killing style just because of one opinion. I am writing this show for myself and just for fun. No one else is a factor. And the next review is..wow, another from Ebony River.
'you're getting more creative with the killings, but not enough so it is like the real comic series. MORE HAPPY NOODLE BOY!! i gotta vote for KTWJC: i want the evil moose that HNB thought was a spy car to die! argh! fucking toaster. goddamn it, and also make sure that HNB gets those fucking hands off of his wrists. they make him unhappy.With all due respect, Ebony'
MC: The first thing I want to do is thank you for reviewing three times. That's really cool. And I want to thank you for speaking your mind about this. It really does help me as an author to get constructive criticism. Well, I'm really glad that you think the killing is more creative. I am glad it's not as creative as in the comic series. I'd like to make some things clear about this point. I am not Jhonen Vasquez. I do not own the series. So I don't have the same exact style. And I'm not one of those people who wants to be liked because they can write exactly like JV and making the killing JUST like the comics. I am me, not Jhonen. And KTWJC is just a stupid little TV segment. I'm not trying to write a novel with it. It's not supposed to be good. AND, maybe Nny's not being too creative because he doesn't have anything against the people he's killing in his segment. When he is angry or provoked, that's when he really does the killings in a very interesting way. I am striving to bring everything I write AWAY from the comic series style, and write with MY style. It's not the comics, it fan fiction. Now, that's all the reviews, so here we go with the character questions.
Tess: FINALLY!!!!
MC: Shut up Tess. Now, the first question is for Nny: QUESTION TO NNY : How much would could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck COULD chuck wood??
Nny: Er..a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as it felt like chucking if it could chuck wood. Maybe they can chuck wood though, and we just don't know it.
MC: Um...interesting answer Nny. Now, the next question is for Noodle Boy: if jello that has fruit in it takes over the world what will happen to all the sharks with hidden scales? that always bothered me.
HNB: Fucking cow cheese! Desist with the magic feather boa and the high heeled monkey face dog pancake!!! SQUEAK like the goldfish crackers you are with the black monkey face!!! TASTE THE SHELLS!
MC: Um........OK? Now, a question for..that's all the questions. Oh great. Now, um..let's go to STWHNB.
*fade to STWHNB set*
HNB: Garg! Flying fruit jungle banana! The hands!!! They are so cold! Get the fuck away from my spy glass! MEEP! Chika lika lika!!!!!!!!!!! BIKER MOOSE SURPRISE FOR THE LITTLE MOUSE GIRL'S FACE! Who are you Bill? Get away orange juice fresh lumpy raccoon says that there is dryer lint in the shining fault mint gum of the bullet shell of the red coat in......TEETER TOTTER! I see ink!!!!
Narrarator: This has been STWHNB.
*Fade back to regular set*
MC: Hello, and good evening. Now, let's cut to KTWJC, cause I can't think of anything else to say.
*Cut to KTWJC set*
Nny: Hi there. This is KTWJC. And now, my victim today is...* checks paper* ReiNny's fan character Jennifer!!!!
*Jennifer walks onto the set*
Jennifer: Hi Johnny. What's going on? *sees sign* Killing time, huh?
Nny: *maniacally* Yes. *pulls out a scythe, comes near her*
Jennifer: Hey. Let's reconsider...ah...
*Nny swings the scythe, slicing Jennifer's head off. It flies off to the side amid a shower of bright red blood, ooh, pretty. Nny picks up the severed head and sits it on the desk.*
Nny: This was KTWJC. Have a nice day.
*Fade back to JTHMTS set*
MC: *singing 'Everything About You' by Three Days Grace* I, hate, everything about you. Why, do I love you. I, hate, everything about you. Why, do I love you? *switches back to speaking mode* Oh, hello. Welcome back. And now, sadly, it is time yet again to end another episode. See ya soon! Next episode is up as soon as you give me enough reviews to work with. Thanks much! Bye! *waving*
*/*/*
Beep.
I am in a really fucking bad mood. I just tried to drown myself in the sink. Just kidding. But I AM really pissed. My comp. Screwed up so I have to write this whole fucking episode over! I hate everything! FUCK!!!!
*/*/*
*fade in to JTHMTS news set*
Devi: hello. This morning we are starting off with the news. First we have fanfic news. As soon as Moonchild finishes her JTHM fics 'Bullet With Butterfly Wings', 'The Rose', and 'My December', she is starting three more. One entitled 'Tables Turned', one that is her version of the JTHM movie, and one that is currently untitled. Please ask her for the summary so you can help her with the title. If you want to read Moonchild's FIRST ever JTHM fic 'Johnny's Downfall', do so soon because soon it will be taken off of ff.net, though it is not finished. Tenna, please continue the fanfic news.
Tenna: Okee dokee. Well, anyway, there are some ff.net fics that Moonchild feels are the best she's ever read, so we're going to give you the URLs for them, OK? OK. Here we are. Copy and pate the URLs into the search bar go read them.
'Squee Gets A Babysitter', by ReiNny.
'Dear Heart' by Kitty-N.
'Johnny's Return' by ReiNny.
'Enough To Stay', by Sparkle Itamashii.
'A Yearning' by LittleMaggie,
'The Ghost Slips Away', by StrangeEmily13.
AND 'Ignorance Is A Burden' by Jezebelle.
Read these stories! They are awesome!!!!!!
Devi: And now, for some irrelevant news, Evanescence is coming to Moonchild's town of August 9! That's right! In her opinion they're the world's best band along with Disturbed and Linkin Park. Woo! Hey wait a sec. Why am I telling you this? Moonchild, you idiot, no one cares about Evanescence!!!!!!!!
*Devi is attacked by angry Amy Lee and Ben Moody fans*
Devi: HELP!
Amy Lee: *in front of a tv in some random place in the world* What's going on?
Tenna: Poor Devi. Now, let's go to the real show!!!!!!
*fade to regular set*
MC: Hello. Welcome back. And now, I will reply to all the reviews I've gotten so far since the last episode. Forgive me if I miss any. You can just read the reply to the review you sent if you sent one and skip the rest. This part has no importance. I just wanted to have a chance to reply to all my reviewers. The first review is from Spork Master G. Spork Master says:
Yay! I want Anne Gwish to be on the show, she makes me laugh for she is shallow. So very shallow. And yet, my sister reminds me of her at times. O! QUESTION TO NNY : How much would could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck COULD chuck wood?? That's the real question here. HEY! How come the other writer people get to be on? How come I can't be on? Hm?! boop :P
MC: Well, your wish has been granted. You are appearing in the next episode! And your question is going to be answered next, when the characters answer questions! Yay! And Anne Gwish will appear soon. I hate her. She is evil!
Nny: I don't understand what's going on!
Random audience person: You're stupid Johnny!
MC: *flies into defensive mode* Don't you DARE insult Nny!!!! Sic that audience person, Lance! *throws her pink squeaky hippo at the random audience person*
Random audience person: AHHHH!!!!
MC: it's OK Nny. Nobody insults Johnny C. and lives. OK, next review. It is from ReiNny.
'you can kill my fanchar, Jennifer, she is about to go psycho on Devi in my fic 'squee gets a baby sitter, she is also Squee's baby sitter, she dosn't like Devi very much... oh and she smokes, and johnny dosn't like that, add her whether you kill her or not :P i'm added you to my favirot list'
MC: Yay! I will take what you said to mind, yay! Jennifer shall appear as soon as I get around to it! Next review is from GothicAngel.
'Hehehe! This was ultra-funny! I like the part where Devi and NNy are waltzing. I like the part with Tenna and the bee suit too."JOHNNY YOU LITTLE FUCK!"And then the cheese-whiz! *falls over laughing* Heh... Actually.. I like all of it. This is all really funny! Hope you continue writing soon. I like to get a good laugh every once in a while.~*~ GothicAngel ~*~'
MC: Thanks GothicAngel. I'm glad you saw the humor in my demented writing! ^_^ I am quite glad you liked it. Nothing makes me happier than when people can read my fics without dying. Yay! Now, the next review is from Ebony River.
'the people arent in character, NNy doesnt really act like this and Devi wouldnt have forgiven him. damn it. oh well. good story. charnogs. yeah. ARGH! FUCKING TOASTER! ok, i wanna ask HNB: if jello that has fruit in it takes over the world what will happen to all the sharks with hidden scales? that always bothered me...With all due respect, Ebony'
MC: OK Ebony, I've got to explain some stuff about the fic, huh? I didn't see much OOCness in Nny...OK, yeah I did. But I'm perfectly at liberty to make him act however I want in my show. That's the beauty of having a show where I can speak my mind. And how can you be sure Devi wouldn't have forgiven him? She might have. No one knows for sure but Jhonen..unless you are Jhonen in which case you know and I am sorry for saying you didn't know. And also, I will make sure your question for HNB is answered. Now, the next review is another from Ebony River. Wow, you've been busy reviewing, huh?
'argh!! and another thing that is bothering me is that NNy's killing is really unorigonal. he is really creative with his torture, because one of the greatest human fears is pain, and he takes advantage of that. i do too, but thats besides the fact. seriously though, please get more creative with the way NNy kills. With all due respect, Ebony'
MC: OK, I have things to say. If Nny's killing in here was unoriginal, it is your opinion, not mine. You can think whatever you want. It's none of my business. And maybe some people would find the killing original. I don't know, I am not a homicidal maniac. The only person I've ever come close to killing is myself, but that's off the subject. Digression is fun. I love getting off the subject. And even though I know I should, I am not going to change Nny's killing style just because of one opinion. I am writing this show for myself and just for fun. No one else is a factor. And the next review is..wow, another from Ebony River.
'you're getting more creative with the killings, but not enough so it is like the real comic series. MORE HAPPY NOODLE BOY!! i gotta vote for KTWJC: i want the evil moose that HNB thought was a spy car to die! argh! fucking toaster. goddamn it, and also make sure that HNB gets those fucking hands off of his wrists. they make him unhappy.With all due respect, Ebony'
MC: The first thing I want to do is thank you for reviewing three times. That's really cool. And I want to thank you for speaking your mind about this. It really does help me as an author to get constructive criticism. Well, I'm really glad that you think the killing is more creative. I am glad it's not as creative as in the comic series. I'd like to make some things clear about this point. I am not Jhonen Vasquez. I do not own the series. So I don't have the same exact style. And I'm not one of those people who wants to be liked because they can write exactly like JV and making the killing JUST like the comics. I am me, not Jhonen. And KTWJC is just a stupid little TV segment. I'm not trying to write a novel with it. It's not supposed to be good. AND, maybe Nny's not being too creative because he doesn't have anything against the people he's killing in his segment. When he is angry or provoked, that's when he really does the killings in a very interesting way. I am striving to bring everything I write AWAY from the comic series style, and write with MY style. It's not the comics, it fan fiction. Now, that's all the reviews, so here we go with the character questions.
Tess: FINALLY!!!!
MC: Shut up Tess. Now, the first question is for Nny: QUESTION TO NNY : How much would could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck COULD chuck wood??
Nny: Er..a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as it felt like chucking if it could chuck wood. Maybe they can chuck wood though, and we just don't know it.
MC: Um...interesting answer Nny. Now, the next question is for Noodle Boy: if jello that has fruit in it takes over the world what will happen to all the sharks with hidden scales? that always bothered me.
HNB: Fucking cow cheese! Desist with the magic feather boa and the high heeled monkey face dog pancake!!! SQUEAK like the goldfish crackers you are with the black monkey face!!! TASTE THE SHELLS!
MC: Um........OK? Now, a question for..that's all the questions. Oh great. Now, um..let's go to STWHNB.
*fade to STWHNB set*
HNB: Garg! Flying fruit jungle banana! The hands!!! They are so cold! Get the fuck away from my spy glass! MEEP! Chika lika lika!!!!!!!!!!! BIKER MOOSE SURPRISE FOR THE LITTLE MOUSE GIRL'S FACE! Who are you Bill? Get away orange juice fresh lumpy raccoon says that there is dryer lint in the shining fault mint gum of the bullet shell of the red coat in......TEETER TOTTER! I see ink!!!!
Narrarator: This has been STWHNB.
*Fade back to regular set*
MC: Hello, and good evening. Now, let's cut to KTWJC, cause I can't think of anything else to say.
*Cut to KTWJC set*
Nny: Hi there. This is KTWJC. And now, my victim today is...* checks paper* ReiNny's fan character Jennifer!!!!
*Jennifer walks onto the set*
Jennifer: Hi Johnny. What's going on? *sees sign* Killing time, huh?
Nny: *maniacally* Yes. *pulls out a scythe, comes near her*
Jennifer: Hey. Let's reconsider...ah...
*Nny swings the scythe, slicing Jennifer's head off. It flies off to the side amid a shower of bright red blood, ooh, pretty. Nny picks up the severed head and sits it on the desk.*
Nny: This was KTWJC. Have a nice day.
*Fade back to JTHMTS set*
MC: *singing 'Everything About You' by Three Days Grace* I, hate, everything about you. Why, do I love you. I, hate, everything about you. Why, do I love you? *switches back to speaking mode* Oh, hello. Welcome back. And now, sadly, it is time yet again to end another episode. See ya soon! Next episode is up as soon as you give me enough reviews to work with. Thanks much! Bye! *waving*
*/*/*
Beep.
