DISCLAIMER!!! 'Cause we forgot it in the last chapter...WE DON'T OWN ANYTHING WE TALK ABOUT, SO DON'T SUE US!!!! Thank you...erm...

This chapter is a little odd...we thought it was hilarious. The characters were really OOC in this chapter...oh well... Enjoy.

Chapter 2: Snape's Secret

At breakfast the next day, after a satisfying bowl of Lucky Charms, the class schedules were passed around.

"Son of a bitch!!" Ron shouted, spilling a bit of milk on the table. "We've got double potions first!"

"Shit!" Harry replied, through a mouthful of cereal.

"Damn, I don't fancy seeing Snape this soon. Well, come to think of it, I don't fancy seeing him at all, but..." Hermione trailed off. The three stood up and grabbed their schoolbags, making their way out of the Great Hall.

"Good morning, class," Snape hissed as he closed the dungeon door. Hermione had forgotten how cold the dungeons were. "Today, we shall be discussing the Amazonian Love Potion," Snape went on, with a twisted smile on his face, "the contents of which can only be found in the Amazon. I suggest you take out your scales."

Hermione got hers out, eager to begin. She glanced at Harry, who was rummaging through his bag, bringing out a spare quill, and scrap of parchment, a Sneakoscope...

To Hermione's surprise, the Sneakoscope began to whistle and spin like mad. Snape looked up.

"Potter! What are you doing?" Snape yelled, the corner of his mouth twitching. He snatched the Sneakoscope off the table and strode over to his desk.

Harry set his scale down harder than necessary, glaring at Snape.

* * * * * *

While chopping her tree root carefully, Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin when a deafening explosion occurred somewhere down the hall. The class jumped, staring at the door. Snape looked furious.

He strode over, opened the door, and ran out, the rest of the class following excitedly. Harry, Ron, and Hermione knew better.

"What do you think you're doing? Get back in that room!" he shouted at the class, but no one came back in. Hermione looked to Harry. He smirked.

"I'm getting it back," he said before standing up and going to Snape's desk. Hermione scolded him mentally, not wanting to get Snape's attention. She saw him open one drawer, close it, and then open the one below it. He stopped, smiled, and pulled out the Sneakoscope. He was about to close it when he stopped and grabbed something else.

"I SAID, GET BACK IN THAT ROOM!" Snape bellowed outside. Harry ran back to the table, the rest of the class filing in after him. "Mr. Humphries! You're going to Filch's office immediately! He will not be pleased!" Snape stopped briefly in the doorway. "Class, you will stay here, and continue making your potions! If I find one single person out of this room, you'll all get detention!" he strode off angrily, dragging a first-year behind.

Hermione looked at the piece of parchment in Harry's hand. "What is that?"

"I dunno..." he flattened it out under the table, as the class worked around them.

"Looks like a letter," Ron whispered. Hermione began to read it silently to herself.

Severus,

I am sorry for trashing your room. I may have knocked over an inkbottle, as I found a stain on my ass.

You must be a great professor, I learned a lot last night. I didn't think my leg was supposed to bend that way. I hope we weren't too loud. If the Headmaster were to find out...

I would like to remind you to keep a close watch on Draco, I must know if he's been a naughty boy, like you...

I can't stop thinking of you...I love you with every fiber of my being. I long to see you again.

All my love,

Lucius

Hermione finished, wide-eyed with her mouth hanging open. She reread the letter, unable to comprehend this information. 'Snape...and...Lucius?' she thought, completely bewildered.

"Holy...shit..." Harry said slowly, after what seemed like forever. All of a sudden, Ron turned purple, trying desperately to stifle his laughter.

When class was finally over, Hermione, Ron, and Harry scrambled out of the dungeon as fast as they could. Once out of earshot, they collapsed into a fit of insane giggles. They stumbled up to the common room and Hermione fell onto the couch, still laughing. Next thing she knew, someone fell on her.

"Bloody hell, ouch! Oh, Harry," she said more calmly as she realized who it was. Harry winked at her, and she smiled back at him, butterflies filling her stomach again.

"I can't believe it!!" Ron exclaimed between fits of laughter. "Snape, of all people! Well, I guess we should have known..." They three exploded again, Hermione glad that she was back with her best friends.