We're back with another chapter and it's really bad, so if you don't like man-sex, don't read it. What is man-sex, you ask? Oh, you'd be surprised...

ANYWAY...this is disturbing and we wrote it after watching Spy Kids 3-D so our brains we gone. They ran away...don't blame us.

CHAPTER 3: The Incident

"Oh, damn, I've forgotten my bag!" Harry exclaimed after the laughter had died away. Hermione frowned.

"We'd better go get it before somebody does something to it. Where did you leave it?"

"Snape's classroom."

"You go, I've got to write to Mum a letter."

"I'll come with you, Harry," Hermione said, with intentions of getting closer to him.

"Alright, let's go then." Harry replied shortly, almost awkwardly.

They walked out of the common room and down the corridor to the dungeons.

Before Hermione could say anything, Harry grabbed her hand. Hermione smiled to herself and turned red. Harry looked at her.

"Er, is that okay?"

"Of course, Harry." Hermione blinked.

"Then, er, would it be okay if I kissed you?"

"Anything you want, Harry. Anything." Harry leaned in and gave her a passionate kiss, and she felt herself tingle. (OMG!)

After about a minute (we weren't timing, what're you looking at??) Harry let go and they continued to walk with his arms around her.

When they were very near the Potions door, they heard footsteps. Out of habit, they ducked behind a suit of armor. They looked around the corner to see who was coming.

Lucius Malfoy and his sleek blonde hair were making their way to Snape's door. Harry and Hermione looked at each other and then back to Lucius.

Lucius knocked on the door and was soon answered by Snape. Neither one of them made much noise as Lucius entered the room.

Harry and Hermione immediately crept up to the door and pressed their ears against it.

There was a moment of silence broken by the occasional slurps.

"Enough with the pleasantries, on to business..." Lucius growled.

"But what first?" Snape inquired, timidly,

"Oh, foreplay, my dear..." Hemione could hear the smirk in Lucius's voice.

"Did you bring it?" Snape asked urgently, and Hermione knew something VERY bad was about to happen. She smirked at Harry, and he gave her a smile and a wink in return.

"Of course I did you whore!" Lucius shouted seductively.

"I love it when you call me names!"

"I know, that's why I did it, you dirty, dirty bitch!" Lucius growled. With that, Hermione heard a clatter, a rustle of clothing, and some disturbing sounds. She had a visual of Lucius on top of Snape, completely naked on the desk. She looked to Harry, and his eyes were wide and he was smirking.

They heard many moans, groans, screams, name-calling, whipping, banging, "Ouch!", and a distinct buzzing noise over the next half an hour. When they finally heard more rustling of clothing, they rushed over to their corner again.

Harry and Hermione crouched behind the armor and waited for Lucius to come out.

The door opened and Lucius stepped out, short of breath and his hair barely in his ponytail. His man-bow was crooked. He looked around before leaving the way he came.

Harry looked to Hermione. "I don't think I want my bag now." Hermione took his hand.

"I've got something we can do." she smirked and led Harry down corridors until they reached Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. They smiled at each other, then went inside, Hermione wondering if Harry could live up to her great expectations...

Final comment: O.O