Carter walked into his grandmother's house and dropped his bags onto the floor. There were limited places he wanted to be these days and due to recent events one of the most unpleasant places was in this very house. There were times on the flight back that he almost wished he was back in Africa instead on in Chicago. The problems there seemed to make the problems in Chicago, the problems in his life, less insignificant. There were little things he missed. Waking up next to Abby in the morning and knowing they had no place to be. Life's simple delicacies. The smell of her hair after she got out of the shower. The way her skin was silky after she put on lotion. The feel of her bare toes tickling the hairs on his legs as she tried to warm up. And there were the things he couldn't handle living with anymore. The drinking. The lying. The denial. Just when things started to show signs of improvement, God would throw him a curve ball and then he was stuck picking up the pieces. She never chased after him. She never begged him to come back, to forgive him for taking that sip of wine with Susan. It was almost as if she knew she would never have to work hard because his life depended on her. He couldn't breathe without wondering if she was taking a breath at the same time.
Funny how things change so quickly. Halloween they were perfect. Now, hardly a year into their relationship and he was already tired of it. If he loved her so much, why couldn't he handle it? Because he was dealing with his own demons and trying to be strong for her, making things okay for her, was too much for him. Like she had said before. She's having a hard enough time staying sober herself. She can't handle his addiction too. That's how he felt now. He can't handle being two totally different people at the same time. It wasn't worth it anymore.
Now, as he stood in the foyer and tried to will himself to take another step in and get his surroundings together, he wondered how Gillian managed to convince him to go back and help Luka. It wasn't like they were best friends. They grew to a mutual understanding that you can only hold so many grudges in your life before the grudges start holding it against you. But he did go back. If not for Luka and his patients, that weren't going to survive anyway, then for Gillian. And in result, he felt like he'd been stabbed all over again.
"Scooter!"
He didn't realize how much his head hurt until the piercing scream of the child rang through the house as she came running down the stairs and thrusted herself at his shins. He grimaced in pain as needle sharp pangs erupted through his body. But he couldn't bring her down.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" he asked, putting on a smile for the girl.
"I'm glad you finally came home for work," a woman's voice said as she appeared from the kitchen. He looked up to see Barbara, his older sister, step into view. "Daddy said he'd cancelled on you. Therefore you should be here."
"Plans change. I was out of the country, Barb," he said, standing up fully.
"Well, I'm glad you're home. The twins are at boarding school. I think they have some vacation time coming up. You'll have to check the schedule. Otherwise, they're gone all the time." She didn't stop long enough for him to open his mouth and protest. "And Andrew got this chance to work in Europe but uprooting the kids in the middle of school has been proven to lower their IQ in the end."
"Andrew?"
"Oh, right. My husband. Sorry, didn't you get the announcement?" He just stood there, unsure as to what to say. It was moments like these that made him realize how out of touch with his family he was. "Anyway, everything is laid out on the table. Nanny's. Babysitters. The boarding school. Dentist. Doctors."
"I am a doctor," he tried to interject.
"Allergies. Favorite foods. Normal shopping lists. And our number in Venice."
"Barbara. I can't do this. I work more than full time. I haven't slept in practically a month. I don't have the experience. I don't think I can even handle it. Usually you get married before you have kids. I'm not even up to that. I can't take care of your kids."
"Sure you can. Besides, like I said, all you have to do is take care of Stella. My baby. The twins are at boarding school. Check up with them. Pick them up for holidays. The schedule is on the table. Everything is lined out. You'll be fine." She kissed Stella's cheek and then Carter's. "Thank you, baby brother."
Carter and Stella stood motionless, hand in hand, at the front door and watched her drive off.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.