Sick

---

1936

Rip slapped Doc.

"I want to be a vampire, too!" demanded Rip.

"Wait your turn!" asked Doc.

Rip began to blubber. "It's...Kouta Hirano's fault. He drew me in an SS uniform and I don't have socks!

Sometimes he draws you without blood, and Captain's head gets fatter and, und, en, och-"

Doc was offended. "-I am wounded! Shut up, woman, or I'll hit you with Maxwell's silver hammer!

Mordor på måfå! Smörgås!" Rip immediatly shut her mouth and made Doc a smörgås. She walked back to him.

"Snygg hårig pung-" replied Rip, evilly.

"-WTF. Ruhe! I'll turn you into a vampire, just SHUT UP!htgrdjl!" He threw a chip at her face, and

hid under a cardboard box. He waited and watched the results. Rip jiggled and Piggy was jealous. Yes,

he was very jealous. She jiggled and squiggled and exploded. WTF. I need a larger variety of vocabulary.

Hmm. Anyways, Rip was a vampire. There. And she had shark teeth, which Doc decided to get rid of because it reminded him of

pencil sharpeners. Somebody tugged on Doc's coat.

"WTF DO YOU WANT? SJDIJAOIHGREW!" yelled Doc.

"I BET MEIN FUHRER WILL LOVE MY EARS!" boasted Schrodinger.

"Shut up, you poohole! Hitler hates cats and he will never love you! Ha ha ha! He loves me!"

replied Piggy. Schrodinger burst into tears and slit his wrists with a butter knife. Everybody laughed at his

patheticness. Doc rubbed his face and mumbled to himself, "I need to go on vacation.."

"I WILL GO WITH YOU!" decided Piggy.

"How did you hear me? Nevermind, that isn't important. WTF. Just stay away from me. Jan will come..."

"W00t!" screamed Jan.

"..."

"..and Captain, too."

"What about us?" asked the umpires-er-vampires.

"Hmmm...I'll lock you in a room. I don't trust any of you."

"Yay," cheered stupid Piggy as he jiggled with happiness.

-90834295037296572398672398 days later-

In the padded room without windows or doors, the Laughing Nazis rapped, jumped, and posed like Hip G Dawgs. Rip was ripping

out her hair and Schrodinger was eating anything he thought would kill him. Luke stared at the Laughing Nazis and tried

to rap along, but we all know white girls can't rap.

-Some American Road-

Meanwhile, Captain was driving the entire way to Hawaii...of course, Doc reading the maps, Jan asking, "Are

we there yet?" 82437598435 times. After 37482932 miles, Captain finally realised he was driving on the wrong side of the

road, and of course, he changed lanes. Or something. Once again, this isn't important.

"ARE WE THERE YET?" asked Jan.

"NO," replied Doc.

..

BOOM

Captain stopped his 1936 Mercedes-Benz 500K Special Roadster and jumped out to see what he had hit.

It was one of Alucard's victims, James Brown. He was bleeding a river of blood (of course!).

"H-h-help me..." pleaded James Brown.

"WTF IS GOING ON?" asked Doc. Captain pointed at the mangled body.

Doc sighed. He knew he had to work his magic again, and pulled out his wand.

"Uhmm..924809842 uh daoewruifsdjofa and URETIOUAOITRE!" recited Doc.

BAM AND OTHER ONOMATOPOEIC WORDS

James Brown was healed and shiny. He began to sing "Sex Machine". Doc and Captain stared at James Brown's strange dancing.

"Thank you, pusses!" thanked James Brown. "How can I ever repay you?"

"You could kill anybody who gets in our way," suggested Doc.

"Hmm..sounds good," said James Brown. "Goodbye, children! YOW MHHMMM~!"

James Brown danced away into the world.

-HAWAII-

The sun radiated, flashed, sparkled, and glared at the Nazis. Captain perspired the most because he was

carrying all of them including their luggage. They paused and gazed at all the tourists.

"Sick. I hate people," complained Doc. "Let's go home. Turn back to the car, Captain, and drive us back home!"

-Home-

When they arrived back to their farmhouse thing, Doc opened the roof to the isolated padded room. He found that Rip was bald,

Schrodinger was vomiting lead pencils, the Laughing Nazis in the same condition, and Piggy was disturbingly fatter. Almost

as fat as Jabba the Hutt. Piggy yelled, "Let's hide in South America!"

Most of the Nazis were lower ranks than Piggy and the others were followers with nothing else better to do, so they decided

that it was a good idea.

"Why?" asked Doc.

"AREN'T YOU NOSEY? IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" shouted Piggy. When nobody was looking, he pulled out a picture of

his mother and sobbed. "I hate you!" He threw the picture at Rip's head and it shattered into thousands of pieces.

---

Thank you Sad, for helping me. WTF. Again.