The Stallion Battle-yon
[The scene opens in the NMHS band hall with the band students getting out their instruments and the most horrible music they have.]
Brittaney [holding a piccolo]: My piccolo won't play anything!
Karmon [holding a flute]: No! That's the best weapon we have against (evil- name-of-your-choice).
Mike [holding a clarinet]: Maybe Mr. Childers can fix it.
[Colin Ferrell walks into the room and sees Mrs. Childers standing by the door. He turns to run but she catches him by the collar of his shirt.]
Mrs. Childers [also holding a clarinet]: Good. Now that you are here, you can help us defeat (evil-name-of-your-choice).
Collin: But I'm famous!
Jessica [holding another clarinet]: That doesn't matter. We need as much help as we can get.
Ben: I just realized, I'M NOT IN BAND!!!!! What am I going to do!?
Kasey [holding a mellophone]: You can do your cheerleading routines. We can call you Ben Ben the Cheerleading Man!
Ben: But I'm going to need all my other cheerleader homies with me!
Brittaney: Mike, Mr. Childers isn't in his office.
Scott: I don't play anything either!
[Dr. Butorac walks through the "wall (we have a door in our band hall that we aren't allowed to go through so we call it the "wall")" and over to the office.]
Dr. Butorac: Ok guys, here's what we have to do.
Russell [holding drum sticks]: Umm, excuse me but who are you?
Dr. Butorac: I'm Dr. Butorac.
Mike: She's the West Mesquite High School band director. I called her over to help us.
[A blur shoots through the real wall and spins around the room. It stops moving and everyone sees that it is Captain Amando.]
Captain Amando: I have arrived in the nick of time. Now where's my flag and rifle?
Mrs. Childers: Did anyone see that big spider in the gym a while ago?
Deke: I want to go to IHOP now.
[Ben starts jumping around in the background trying to figure out what the drills are. There is a loud 'bang' and Mr. Childers walks out of the band office.]
Mr. Childers: Sorry, I must have fallen asleep in the office.
[Everyone looks around like they don't believe him because Brittaney just said that he wasn't in the office. Kyle Swindig comes into the room with his tuba.]
Kyle: Did you just call him, "Ben Ben the Cheerleading Man?"
Mrs. Childers: There was a spider. Look, there it is! [She points out the door to where a large black shape stands.]
Jan [clarinet]: Blah!
Kara [french horn]: I'm all set, boobie-do-bop!
Brian [trumpet]: This is fun.
Mike: Wait! Brian, aren't you in the jazz band?
Mrs. Childers: Doesn't anybody see the spider!?
Brian: Yeah, why?
Jan: Hmmmmmmm.....Blah!
Mike: Everyone knows that the members of the jazz band are controlled by (evil-name-of-your-choice)! Get him!!!!!!!
[Everyone tackles Brian and wrestles his trumpet out of his hands before he can use it. Mrs. Childers plays 'super C' and Brian disintegrates into nothing. Mr. Childers runs back into the band hall office and they here another loud 'bang.']
Jessica: I wonder what all that was about.
Dr. Butorac: Will you people listen to me! Mr. Childers is in league with (evil-name-of-your-choice). I was trying to say that we need to stop him first but you let him get away.
Karmon: So what your are saying is. our band director has been plotting to steal the ding-ding?
Brittaney: Scott, you can play the harpsichord. Here. [She throws him a big box.]
Deke: Who wants to go to IHOP with me?
Mike: Not now. We have other things to do.
Mrs. Childers: There's the spider again!
Captain Amando: We need a name for ourselves. I know. [Russell interrupts her.]
Russell: Can we go play some golf real quick? Please!?
Kasey: No! We have to catch my dad.
Mrs. Childers: No you are not, Kasey Childers!!!!! I will catch him. I know where he goes when he wants to hide.
Kyle: I've been perfecting my weapon. Does this work. [He plays a super low note and the floor shakes while pieces of the ceiling start to fall.]?
Jan: Hmph! Nobody listens to my blahness.
Captain Amando: Ahem! We can call ourselves the Stallion Battle-yon (battalion)!
Mike: That's a good one. Where did you get it from!
Captain Amando: Not tellin'.
Narrator: Stop changing the punctuation!!!? Ummm....oops.
Jessica: See not everyone's perfect!
Karmon: Hahaha! You screwed up! [She starts rolling on the floor with laughter.]
Deke: What am I gonna do!?!?
Mike: You can carry the Drum Sticks of Doom. One of the most powerful and secret weapons we have.
[They all cover their ears as a high-pitched screech comes from the other side of the room.]
Brittaney: Hey, I got my piccolo to work. Where's Vikki? I need her help so we can team up as the Piccolo Duo.
Vikki [as she walks into the room]: Here I am. I had to get my new Dog Whistle 2003 piccolo. This is the best model yet.
Mrs. Childers: We need a trombone player!
[Kurt Lawrence enters the room.]
Kurt: Hold on. Let me go get my trombone.
[Kurt comes back a minute later holding a trombone with a bell so big you can put a tuba in it.]
Dr. Butorac: Alright everyone. Let's step through the trombone-bell-portal- thingy and be on our way.
Mrs. Childers: There is the spider again.
Mike: It's coming after us!
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan: BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan: BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Narrator: Is there a point to all this yelling? All you have to do is ask me and I can get rid of the spider.
[The spider mysteriously disappears.]
Kasey: How did you do that?
Narrator: I can do whatever I want to the story since I'm the one reading it. All I have to do is say something and it happens. See, watch. 'Ben falls down on his butt.' [Everyone turns around to see Ben stop jumping around and fall down on his butt.] I have all the power! Mwuahahaha!
Karmon: Well why don't you bring (evil-name-of-your-choice) right here so we can kick his. [Narrator interrupts.]
Narrator: 'Karmon won't be able to speak for a while.' Now, I can't do that because the story isn't about (evil-name-of-your-choice). It's about you people.
Kyle: What do you mean you people?
Ben: Kyle, you're white. What does it matter?
Narrator: Ahem. It's about you folks here in this room and the ding-ding that was stolen.
Kyle: I dunno'.
Captain Amando: Can we go already?
Kurt: One second. I have to tune the bell to 440 before we can go through it.
Captain Amando: Well hurry up.
Brittaney: La di da.
Scott: Stop singing!
Deke: People shut up! Kurt's almost done tuning.whatever that means.
Kurt: Done! Greatness!
Dr. Butorac: Let's go!!!
[They all step into the bell and disappear from site. The bell then swallows itself and follows them. The view goes black again.]
Collin: Ben, did you just say, "My cheerleading homies?"
[The scene opens in the NMHS band hall with the band students getting out their instruments and the most horrible music they have.]
Brittaney [holding a piccolo]: My piccolo won't play anything!
Karmon [holding a flute]: No! That's the best weapon we have against (evil- name-of-your-choice).
Mike [holding a clarinet]: Maybe Mr. Childers can fix it.
[Colin Ferrell walks into the room and sees Mrs. Childers standing by the door. He turns to run but she catches him by the collar of his shirt.]
Mrs. Childers [also holding a clarinet]: Good. Now that you are here, you can help us defeat (evil-name-of-your-choice).
Collin: But I'm famous!
Jessica [holding another clarinet]: That doesn't matter. We need as much help as we can get.
Ben: I just realized, I'M NOT IN BAND!!!!! What am I going to do!?
Kasey [holding a mellophone]: You can do your cheerleading routines. We can call you Ben Ben the Cheerleading Man!
Ben: But I'm going to need all my other cheerleader homies with me!
Brittaney: Mike, Mr. Childers isn't in his office.
Scott: I don't play anything either!
[Dr. Butorac walks through the "wall (we have a door in our band hall that we aren't allowed to go through so we call it the "wall")" and over to the office.]
Dr. Butorac: Ok guys, here's what we have to do.
Russell [holding drum sticks]: Umm, excuse me but who are you?
Dr. Butorac: I'm Dr. Butorac.
Mike: She's the West Mesquite High School band director. I called her over to help us.
[A blur shoots through the real wall and spins around the room. It stops moving and everyone sees that it is Captain Amando.]
Captain Amando: I have arrived in the nick of time. Now where's my flag and rifle?
Mrs. Childers: Did anyone see that big spider in the gym a while ago?
Deke: I want to go to IHOP now.
[Ben starts jumping around in the background trying to figure out what the drills are. There is a loud 'bang' and Mr. Childers walks out of the band office.]
Mr. Childers: Sorry, I must have fallen asleep in the office.
[Everyone looks around like they don't believe him because Brittaney just said that he wasn't in the office. Kyle Swindig comes into the room with his tuba.]
Kyle: Did you just call him, "Ben Ben the Cheerleading Man?"
Mrs. Childers: There was a spider. Look, there it is! [She points out the door to where a large black shape stands.]
Jan [clarinet]: Blah!
Kara [french horn]: I'm all set, boobie-do-bop!
Brian [trumpet]: This is fun.
Mike: Wait! Brian, aren't you in the jazz band?
Mrs. Childers: Doesn't anybody see the spider!?
Brian: Yeah, why?
Jan: Hmmmmmmm.....Blah!
Mike: Everyone knows that the members of the jazz band are controlled by (evil-name-of-your-choice)! Get him!!!!!!!
[Everyone tackles Brian and wrestles his trumpet out of his hands before he can use it. Mrs. Childers plays 'super C' and Brian disintegrates into nothing. Mr. Childers runs back into the band hall office and they here another loud 'bang.']
Jessica: I wonder what all that was about.
Dr. Butorac: Will you people listen to me! Mr. Childers is in league with (evil-name-of-your-choice). I was trying to say that we need to stop him first but you let him get away.
Karmon: So what your are saying is. our band director has been plotting to steal the ding-ding?
Brittaney: Scott, you can play the harpsichord. Here. [She throws him a big box.]
Deke: Who wants to go to IHOP with me?
Mike: Not now. We have other things to do.
Mrs. Childers: There's the spider again!
Captain Amando: We need a name for ourselves. I know. [Russell interrupts her.]
Russell: Can we go play some golf real quick? Please!?
Kasey: No! We have to catch my dad.
Mrs. Childers: No you are not, Kasey Childers!!!!! I will catch him. I know where he goes when he wants to hide.
Kyle: I've been perfecting my weapon. Does this work. [He plays a super low note and the floor shakes while pieces of the ceiling start to fall.]?
Jan: Hmph! Nobody listens to my blahness.
Captain Amando: Ahem! We can call ourselves the Stallion Battle-yon (battalion)!
Mike: That's a good one. Where did you get it from!
Captain Amando: Not tellin'.
Narrator: Stop changing the punctuation!!!? Ummm....oops.
Jessica: See not everyone's perfect!
Karmon: Hahaha! You screwed up! [She starts rolling on the floor with laughter.]
Deke: What am I gonna do!?!?
Mike: You can carry the Drum Sticks of Doom. One of the most powerful and secret weapons we have.
[They all cover their ears as a high-pitched screech comes from the other side of the room.]
Brittaney: Hey, I got my piccolo to work. Where's Vikki? I need her help so we can team up as the Piccolo Duo.
Vikki [as she walks into the room]: Here I am. I had to get my new Dog Whistle 2003 piccolo. This is the best model yet.
Mrs. Childers: We need a trombone player!
[Kurt Lawrence enters the room.]
Kurt: Hold on. Let me go get my trombone.
[Kurt comes back a minute later holding a trombone with a bell so big you can put a tuba in it.]
Dr. Butorac: Alright everyone. Let's step through the trombone-bell-portal- thingy and be on our way.
Mrs. Childers: There is the spider again.
Mike: It's coming after us!
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan: BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan: BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Narrator: Is there a point to all this yelling? All you have to do is ask me and I can get rid of the spider.
[The spider mysteriously disappears.]
Kasey: How did you do that?
Narrator: I can do whatever I want to the story since I'm the one reading it. All I have to do is say something and it happens. See, watch. 'Ben falls down on his butt.' [Everyone turns around to see Ben stop jumping around and fall down on his butt.] I have all the power! Mwuahahaha!
Karmon: Well why don't you bring (evil-name-of-your-choice) right here so we can kick his. [Narrator interrupts.]
Narrator: 'Karmon won't be able to speak for a while.' Now, I can't do that because the story isn't about (evil-name-of-your-choice). It's about you people.
Kyle: What do you mean you people?
Ben: Kyle, you're white. What does it matter?
Narrator: Ahem. It's about you folks here in this room and the ding-ding that was stolen.
Kyle: I dunno'.
Captain Amando: Can we go already?
Kurt: One second. I have to tune the bell to 440 before we can go through it.
Captain Amando: Well hurry up.
Brittaney: La di da.
Scott: Stop singing!
Deke: People shut up! Kurt's almost done tuning.whatever that means.
Kurt: Done! Greatness!
Dr. Butorac: Let's go!!!
[They all step into the bell and disappear from site. The bell then swallows itself and follows them. The view goes black again.]
Collin: Ben, did you just say, "My cheerleading homies?"
