The Ness

[The scene opens as the group materializes in the middle of a field surrounded by trees.]

Kurt: I seemed to have tuned it a little off.

Vikki: Yeah you have! How are we ever going to find (evil-name-of-your- choice) now?

Mike: I'm sure we can retune it, can't we Kurt?

Jessica: Not without a tuner we can't.

Brittaney: Oh this is just great!

Jan: Blah!

Kara: Jan, can you please stop that?

Karmon: Sponge Bob is great.

Kasey: I know! I like his square pants.

Russell: Can we please focus here guys. We need to find.

Narrator: Did ya'll see that big spider back there in the band hall!?!?

Collin: Yeah, that thing was big!

Mrs. Childers: Oh so nobody wants to listen to me but they will listen to the Narrator!

Ben: Of course. The Narrator is the best person in the world!

Narrator: Thank you, Ben. 'Ben becomes the world's best cheerleader.'

Dr. Butorac: I agree with Russell. We need to find a way to got out of.

Kyle: Sponge Bob is great, Karmon.

Captain Amando: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vikki: What?

Deke: I want to go to IHOP!

Mike: I think she was just trying to get peoples attention.

Jessica: What time does the ding-ding ding today?

Brittaney: The ding-ding was stolen remember?

Scott: I want to go to the mall.

Jan: .

Kara: Jan, you are allowed to talk as long as you don't say.

Karmon: Thanks, Kyle. Finally someone is listening to me.

Kasey: I love you, Russell!

Russell: Thank you, Kasey.

Narrator: You're not going to tell her you love her too?

Mrs. Childers: Well, I don't like the Narrator anymore. He's a BLEEP! He can kiss my boo-tay! [A large metal plate forms over her mouth, obviously put there by the Narrator.]

Collin: HAHAHA!!! You have a bad case of plate-mouth. HAHAHA!!! [Ben jumps up and kicks him in the side of his head with his new cheerleading moves.]

Ben: That's not nice. It's her own fault though. She insulted the Narrator.

[Dr. Butorac is rolling on the floor with laughter.]

Kyle: Please Mr. Narrator, sir, take it away. We need her help. She is both wise and learned in the art of musical warfare.

Captain Amando: I'm going to sleep. Wake me up when you decide what to do. Zzzz.

Vikki: I like enchiladas.

Deke: I want pancakes! And waffles!! And eggs!!!

Mike: I need to use the restroom. I don't suppose any of you have one of those new portable ones?

Jessica: There's a bush over there. Go now!

Brittaney: That's gross. Why would you use a bush?

Scott [yawning]: Aren't you people getting tired?

Jan: Bla....yeah I kinda am.

Kara: Good job, Jan! You didn't say it.

Karmon: She didn't say what?

Kasey: Blah.

Russell: Not you too.

Narrator: Stop with the blahness!

Kurt: Blah!

Mrs. Childers [who recently got the plate removed]: Blah!

Collin: Blah!

Ben: Blah! Blah!

Dr. Butorac: This is absurd!

Kyle: Blah!

Captain Amando: Zzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Vikki: Blah!

Deke: I'm not gonna say it. I'm gonna be different than you people.

Kyle: What do you mean by, "You people?"

Dr. Butorac: He doesn't mean anything by it, Kyle. Besides, YOU'RE WHITE!

Collin: I'm Irish!

Ben: I'm..... white too.

Mrs. Childers: I'm starting to get mad again.

Kurt: Everybody just needs to shut up and think about how we are going to get out of here.

Narrator: Well, it's your fault we are here in the first place.

Russell: It wouldn't have happened if you had stopped (evil-name-of-your- choice) back in the gym at school.

Kasey: He already told us he can't change what (evil-name-of-your-choice) is going to do. The story isn't about him.

Karmon [singing]: Sponge Bob Square Pants!

Kara: Mike, you're my Yoggie!

Jan: Go me. I didn't say it again! Blah... oops.

Scott: I'm really getting tired. I think there is something in the air.

Brittaney: If you say something about tiredness again I will put you in an eternal sleep!

Jessica: Why can't we all just get along?

Mike: Thank you, Kara. You're my KarBear!

Jessica: Oh goodness no!

Scott: But I'm tired!

Brittaney: I said I was going to kill you if you said it again so you better start running. [She chases him around. She catches him and starts tearing him limb from limb.]

Jan: I can't help it. I have to say blah. Blah!

Kara: Mike, you are such a sweetie pie!

Karmon [still singing]: Sponge Bob Square Pants!

Kasey: Blah!

Russell: Doink!

Kurt: Doink? What's that?

Narrator: IF ANOTHER PERSON MAKES SOME KIND OF SOUND EFFECT OR SAYS BLAH AGAIN, I'M GOING TO SUCK THEM THROUGH A PLOT HOLE AND DROP THEM IN ANOTHER STORY!!!!!!!!!!!

Collin: .

Kyle: .

Dr. Butorac: .

Mrs. Childers: Temper, temper.

Captain Amando: Zzzzzzzz.....

Vikki: How can she sleep through that!?

Deke: I dunno. Must be some supernatural power she has.

Mike: Well, they don't call her Captain Amando for nothing.

Jessica: Hehehe! Its Captain Amando action figures!

[They all walk over to a big box full of Captain Amando toys.]

Brittaney: Wow!

Jan: It's the ness!

Kara: How wonderful it is.

Karmon: Purple toast!

Kasey: Ok, let's try this again. I love you, Russell.

Russell: I like you too, Kasey.

Narrator: Your hopeless, Russell. Jan, good job for not saying the word. But now it's time to go because we have to start the next scene.

[Once again, the view goes black.]

Mrs. Childers: Karmon, dear, did you just say, "purple toast?"