This Happens Once in a While... An Utena Story

A/N: Oh, poor Miki. What? Juri too? And Nanami? Gosh, all our prized possessions are missing! But who stole them? R&R! Thanx!

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Utena: Psst! Anthy!

Anthy: Yes, Miss Utena?

Utena: Shh! Keep it down! Do you like pineapple?

Anthy: Why yes, I do!

Utena: Hush! Then go get Miki's stopwatch for me.

Miki: (clicks stopwatch continuously)

Anthy: But Miss Utena! Miki LOVES his stopwatch!

Utena: I'll give you a pineapple!

Anthy: You've got yourself a deal!

THAT NIGHT...

Miki: MY STOPWAAAAAAAAATCH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Kazue: What's wrong, Miki?

Miki: (sobbing) My stopwatch! Have you seen it?

Kazue: Oh, did you lose something AGAIN?!

Miki: (between sobs) I (sob) I had it (sob) on the table next (sob) to (sob) me! WAAAAAH!!!

Kazue: Oh, Miki. You're such a baby!

Miki: (cries hysterically) (falls on the floor and kicks his legs)

Kazue: OK, I'll help you find your stupid watch if you---

Miki: (sobbing) IT'S NOT A STUPID WATCH!

Kazue: FINE! I'll help you find your STOPWATCH if you make me a milkshake.

Miki: (eagerly) OK!

MEANWHILE.....

Utena: Good job, Anthy! Here's your pineapple!

Anthy: Thanks! (devours the fruit in one bite)

Utena: You want moooooore?

Anthy: More! More!

Utena: Then go steal Kazue's milkshake.

Anthy: But - but Miss Kazue LOVES her milkshakes!

Utena: NOW! ANTHY!

Anthy: OK! OK!

LATER THAT NIGHT

Kazue: Sorry we couldn't find your stopwatch, Miki.

Miki: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Kazue: But I'll help you look in the morning.

Miki: (sniff) Promise?

Kazue: Yes, I promise. Now, about that milkshake....

Miki: Oh, I set that on your nightstand.

.............

Kazue: MY MILKSHAAAAAAAKE! IT'S GOOOOOOONE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Miki: MY STOP WAAAAAAATCH! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Nanami: WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!!!! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!

Miki: (between sobs) My (sob) stopwatch is gone (sob) missing (sob) and (sob) and (sob)

Kazue: MY MILKSHAAAAAAKE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Nanami: You two are such babies. I'm going back to bed with my little egg! GOOD NIGHT!!!

SLAM!

Nanami: Ahh! I LOVE my egg! I LOVE my egg! My..... egg?

............

Nanami: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

MEANWHILE.....

Utena: Yes! Good work, Anthy! Here's your fruit salad, as promised.

Anthy: SNARF!

Utena: So, Anthy... ever notice how Juri's looks at that locket?

Anthy: I don't know Miss Utena, do I?

Utena: Yeeeeeeees.... you do.... I want you to get it for me.

Anthy: But Miss Utena, that is a locket! A locket is a private thing!

Utena: Oh, Anthy! You don't understand! For months now, I've been trying to become Juri's friend, and I thought that since she loved it so, I would polish it for her to get her to notice me! But no. It is private. (fake sniff) I would never look at it, you know, but I guess she'll never want to be my friend!

Anthy: But Miss Utena! I thought I was your friend!

Utena: GO GET THE STUPID LOCKET!

Anthy: Can I have an Anthy snack?

Utena: Yes, here you go. Now, off with you!

Anthy: Yes, Miss Utena.

Utena: muhahahaha...Hahahahaha.... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Anthy: Hee hee hee hee hee!

Utena: (insane laughter)

Anthy: Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

Utena: GO GET THE LOCKET!

Anthy: Right away.

LATER.....

Miki: MY STOOOOOPWAAAAAAAAATCH!

Kazue: MY MIIIIIIILKSHAAAAAAAAAAAKE!

Nanami: MY EGG! (spreads her arms in enthusiasm)

Juri: My gosh, what have we here? Three duelists, crying like babies in the middle of the night...

Nanami: OH JURI! YOU GOTTA HELP MY EGG!!!

Kazue: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILKSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!

Miki: (has now become entirely insane and in holding a cookie pretending it is his stopwatch) Clickey clickey..... clickey clickey..... click click!

Juri: You idiots....... I wonder what Shiori would say....... (touches her neck) Sh-shiori....? Locket?

.......

Juri: MY LOCKET! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!

Kazue: Come on, Miki. We can have some peace and quiet in the cafeteria, OK?

Miki: Clickey click......

Nanami: EGG! OH EGGY EGG! I LOVED YOU! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Juri: I'LL KILL YA! I SHALL PREVAIL!!!

MEANWHILE... again.....

Anthy: I'm getting the hang of this!

Utena: Yes. I agree. Now..... SAIONJI'S KENDO STICK!

Anthy: Ok. He doesn't care about that dumb thing anyway..

THAT MORNING....

Saionji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Juri: I'LL KILL YA! IIIII'LLL KIIIIIIIIILL YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Nanami: Oh EGG!!!!!

Kazue: (She's lost it too) Moo...... moo.........mooo......Moomoo......

Miki: Clickey click......

Saionji: JURI! ARE YOU MAD?

Juri: I'M MAD!

Saionji: That means WE'RE BOTH MAD!

Juri: Why are you mad?

Saionji: My kendo stick is gone. Why are YOU mad?

Juri: My Shi-- My locket!

Saionji: WHO'S MAD?

Juri: I'M MAD!

Saionji: WHO'S MAD?

Juri: I'M MAD!

Saionji: WHO'S MAD?!

Juri: I'M MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

Nanami: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG!

Saionji: Nanami, are you mad, too?

Nanami: No.

Saionji: You aren't?

Nanami: I'M SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!

Saionji: Oh. Why are you sad?

Nanami: MY EGG IS GOOOOOOONE!!!

Saionji: My kendo stick's missing!

Nanami: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG!!!

Touga: I'M MAD!

Saionji: Why are you mad, Touga?

Touga: Cause everyone else is mad!

Saionji: Oh. Well, who's not mad?

.......

T&S: UTENA!

Juri: I'll KILL Utena!

Nanami: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG!!!

Kazue: Moo moo........ moo milkshake...... mookshake..... hee hee.....

Miki: Click..... clickey click.....

SLAM!

Utena: What's going on? I heard everyone screaming and...

Touga: You -- you're not the theif?

Utena: Theif? Is THAT it?

Saionji: Yeah! There's a theif out to get us!

Nanami: YEAH! First Miki's stopwatch, then Kazue's milkshake! Then...

Juri: ... Nanami's egg, and my locket... and now....

Saionji: MY KENDO STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Nanami: Oh big brother! I bet you'll be next! I have this gut feeling!

Touga: Utena, you'd better watch yourself. I'll keep an eye out too.

Utena: Don't worry! I'll be ready! (snicker snicker)

THAT NIGHT.....

Utena: Now go, Anthy.

Anthy: Yes, master......

Later....

Touga: BINOCULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS!

Saionji: KENDO STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!

Juri: LOCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!

Nanami: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG!!!

Kazue: Moo.....

Miki: Click.....

ALL: UTENA!!!!!

Saionji: LET'S GO GET HER! (Raises fist)

BASH!

Saionji: Oops. Sorry, Juri.

Juri: I think you dislocated my jaw..... (goes into corner w/Kazue & Miki) Nobody likes me.... Every body hates me..... SOB SOB SOB!!! IT HUUUUURTS!

BASH BOOM BANG SMASH CRASH!

Juri: I WANT SOME OF THE ACTION TOO! (Runs in room and is immediately bashed back out) The world's going fuzzy..... again.....

Nanami: EGG!

Juri: M-my locket..?

Touga: MY BINOCULARS!

Saionji: MY KENDO STICK!

Kazue: Can it be? My.... milkshake? MY MILKSHAKE!!!!!

Miki: Clickey... clickey......

Kazue: *sweatdrop* (puts stopwatch in Miki's hand)

Miki: Click....CLICK?! MY STOPWATCH!!!!!!!!!

All: YEAH!!!

Utena: Well, there goes my supreme world order....

Anthy: Do I still get my pineapple?

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Bad Utena! Bad, bad, BAD! Well, R&R! I wonder what it would be like in Utena's world order.... sounds kind of fun :)