Disclaimer: I own none of the great Jhonen Vasquez's work.

Nny took another deep breath.

"OK. I know this whole thing sounds crazy. Would you like to hear about the small motivation of the moment I tried to kill you, or the bigger picture behind the insanity that forced it?" Nny asked.

"Well, if I'm going to listen, you might as well tell me the whole thing," Devi said.

"Alright then. You see, I never had a very good life. From the time when I was small, my father was abusive. He took up smoking one day, and then it shot into drinking. He beat my mother and me. She always told me, someday it would be OK-" Nny's voice faltered as he almost burst into tears. "But then I remember. I was 11, and one day my parents went out for a drive to the supermarket. My mom was just going to go, but then my dad said..said he was going to go along. I remember how the last thing my mother ever said was...was..she said 'I love you Nny. Stay out of trouble.' And then they left. When they were one the way to the store my father.....stabbed her. I didn't find out until I saw it on the news an hour later and...and.. And..." Nny choked out.

Devi looked shocked. OK, so he was a maniac, a monster. But this? Even someone like that shouldn't have to go through that kind of pain. She felt so much..was it pity, or was it sympathy?

Nny was looking at the floor. His eyes were filled with tears.

"Nny I never knew. You can stop now. It's alright. You don't have to go on," she said.

Nny wiped the tears from his eyes and spoke. "No. I have to go on. You have to- have to understand. I guess it goes unarticulated at this moment, but I owe you a lot. More than I owe any of the fuckers that I slaughtered. More than anyone else. You have to know why I tried to kill you," Nny said.

Devi looked at him vigilantly. "Ok then. If you want to go on, go on," she said. She inched a little closer to Nny across the floor. Just a few inches closer, but it gave Nny the heart to continue.

Nny gathered his repose. "OK. Anyway, after my mother died I was a wreck. And I lived alone with my dad, so you can imagine how that was. He still beat me. And finally when I was 13, I killed him. I slipped...poison in his beer bottle," Nny said, dropping his head into his hands. "I feel so....rotten."

Devi watched him in shock. Here was the man who'd tried to kill her, feeling remorse about a murder he'd only done to save himself. And also shock that he'd killed his own father. It was so...staggering.

"Nny?" Devi asked gently.

"Yes?' Nny asked, slowly raising his head.

"I'm.....I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know I can't possibly know what it's like, but I know what it feels like to hurt. You didn't deserve any of it." she placed her hand cautiously on his shoulder, to comfort him a bit. He jumped at her touch. He wasn't used to people trying to make him feel better. He was used to them trying to hurt him.

Devi was almost angry with herself. 'You're supposed to be hating this guy, remember? He tried to kill you!' said a small voice in her head. 'He still doesn't deserve to hurt like this,' she told it. But he had tried to kill her. Yet she couldn't bring herself to hate Johnny. No matter how hard she tried. It was almost like it was impossible.

"I've hurt a lot of people. I deserve any pain I may get, come what may. Now I must go on," Nny said.

Devi nodded wordlessly.

"After my father was dead, I was an orphan. I was shipped to an orphanage straight off, when the police came to my house. I lived there for a year. And then, happily, an aunt came for me. I didn't stay at her house long, though. I don't know why. Maybe I was too much of a freak. So, then it was back to the orphanage. For a few months. All the kids making fun of me again. Then, over the next year I was shipped around to about six different family members' houses. None of them put up with me for long. And then one of my uncles came. He was different. I could tell from the beginning. And he kept me. I stayed with him for a while, until I was seventeen. And I was pretty happy, considering I was an emotionally scarred orphan. Then I moved here. Out on my own. And you'd think my life would be greatly improved, when I moved away. But truthfully, I think that's when things started going.......bad," Nny said, looking thoughtfully at the ceiling.

Devi looked at him attentively for a few seconds. "Is that it?" she asked.

Nny shook his head vigorously. "No. There's more. Much more. After I moved away, I was happy. For a while. But then things began to get...odd. I was lonely, so I bought a pet rabbit. It made me somewhat nervous, so I ended up feeding it once, and nailing it to the wall. And then, it started talking to me. I liked it after a while, despite the fact that it scared me at first. And I figured out it was my own voice. My own internal conversation thrust out into my surroundings. I thought I was going crazy, but it's really just my creativity going to a new extreme. At least I think so. So I had someone to talk to then. But that's not the half of it, oh no. After I'd lived here for about four months, I woke up one morning, and sitting on my dresser were two Styrofoam doughboy dolls. I had no suggestion as to how they got here, but there they were. I disregarded them for a while, but then, they began speaking. Just like my much-loved little Nail Bunny, but then I found out they were poles apart. The doughboys, Mr. Fuck and Psycho Doughboy, they were called, were evil. At least Psycho Doughboy was, anyway. He began talking to me, late into the night. Saying..things. Telling me that I must...must get back at those who had maltreated me. I told him no, but he insisted over and over that I kill all the people who had ridiculed me over the years. And at last, after months of this, I killed. I just wanted the doughboys to leave me alone. I threw them out, but they kept coming back. And then, pretty soon, I killed more and more. And then, it was for little reasons-"

Devi had been staring at him for quite some time. And then she cut him off. "Waidamminit! You mean to enlighten the fact that you kill OTHER people!? I thought it was just the shit-in-the-pants guy, and me! You're totally homicidal!?" she asked in alarm.

Nny looked at her despondently. "Erm...yes. I did! But I don't anymore! Devi, you have to believe me!" Nny said desperately.

"You're telling me that you've killed tons of innocent people, and now you want me to believe that you don't anymore! It's bullshit! You know you still kill people!" Devi said swiftly.

"Devi, listen to me!" Nny said urgently.

"Ha! That's a laugh! I don't listen to cold-blooded contract killers, thank you very much!" Devi said harshly.

Devi please!" Nny said.

Devi stopped shouting and looked fiercely at him.

"Devi, I would never, ever hurt you again. You've got to understand. I'm better now. The doughboys are gone! They aren't ever coming back. I'm under my control now. Not theirs, not the wall's, not anybody's but mine. And yours, it seems like, by the way you can silence me so robotically. But maybe it's not control. Maybe it's because I- oh never mind! Just don't say things about me you don't know are true! Yes, I killed people, and I know it was dire by now. But it's over. I promise," Nny said without delay.

Devi stood up. "Well, if that's all you have to say for yourself, I'm leaving," Devi said. She turned to leave. Nny looked up.

"Devi?" he asked quietly

"What?" she asked angrily.

"Judge me for what I am now, not what I used to be," he said softly.

"What?' she asked, staring at him.

"I don't kill people anymore. I don't even think I can stand to look at people anymore. Except for you. You're different. You're the only person who I ever thought understood me. The only person I ever thought gave damn about me. The only person I could ever really talk to without feeling like I was speaking to floorboards. You're pretty much the only person I've ever cared about. Please don't take that away. Please," Nny said delicately.

Devi stared at him.

"Just give me a chance," he said in a soft whisper.

Devi didn't know what to say. What do you say to something like that?

"Nny-" she began.

"Don't. Just don't. Please don't scream at me again," Nny said. His eyes were set conscientiously to the floorboards.

Devi thought for a moment.

"I won't," she found herself saying. She crept back to Nny's side and sat down, once again on the floor.

"What-?" Nny asked.

"Go on. What happened after the doughboys?" Devi asked.

Nny looked very taken aback. But he began once more. He leaned back and lay on his back on the floor, his arms behind his head as a cushion. He went on with his tale. Now and then he's yawn. For once, he was actually tired. He kept pausing.

"Um, so then what happened? Nny? Nny?" Devi asked.

Nny wasn't awake. Devi rolled her eyes. She sat quietly for a few minutes. The silence was uncomfortable. She sat there, unsure of what to do. Part of her knew she should go home, since she needed sleep for work tomorrow. But part of her wanted to stay with Nny, no matter what might happen. She finally decided on the responsible choice, and left after a few moments of looking at Nny closely.

He's definitely special, she thought as she left.

She went home, but ended up not sleeping at all anyway. She had too much on her mind.

More.uh..soon.

~Moonchild