Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR, or batman

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Chapter I: In wich batman gets his job, why he's invincible, why we connect dwarves with singing, and weeping willows weep.

Long ago after Aragorn had become king of Gondor, and killed by his wife (who was never mentioned in the books) Toveny. There was a new threat to Gonor, the new lord, Aragorns great grand son Putids , The Lord who Sang. Now he could get really annoying talking in rhymes and when not doing that he would sing, so ok he wasn't the hippest dude ever. But he had a beat if ya know what I mean? I mean this dude new how to sing! You ask him to do a Norwegian yodel, he go off like a freaken Tarzan!

One day this dude was walking down a long dirt road alone (or so he thought) singing the theme song to the brady bunch, his personal favorite.

"A lovely lady bringing up three daughter of her youngest one in curls." So he was getting the tune all wrong? Every tree he passed they'd start cringing. (aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh magical trees wwwwwwooooooooooooowwwwwwww!!!) thus the weeping willow was born. As the trees would cring the birds would fly out of their nests. So a farmer who had seen the king walking down the long dirt road all alone (or so he thought) stopped what he was doing. Now, the king was getting the song all wrong and all, but that gave the farmer no right to do what he did next. I mean he didn't have the grab the hoe he dropped and run after the king screaming, he had no right I tell you!!!!!!

Gimli IIIVV and the dancing dwarves of doom got mad because this blew there cover and their secrete to kill the king and rid the world of this god awfull singing. You have to understand how much they hate this singing dude. Because ya know what was under these long dirt roads, yes, caverns and the singing would create a earth tremore effecting all the way to Mount Doom and Minas Tirath. No to mention the king only new a copple of songs, Baby got back, cry me a river, the roof is on fire, and a few of youdels. So, imagine listing to Baby got back, hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after.

It was almost as bad as me writing hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after âE¦ hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after hour after.

Meanwhile in the batcave, Batman, Legolas's great grand child (Bruce the 1st), hear the god awful noise the dwarves, farmer, and king were making and decided to go into the business of fighting crime and ridding the world of EEEVVVAAALLL (hehehe) singers and Dancing Dwarves of Doom and screaming Farmers.

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Hey folks! How do you like my story, pretty whacked ain't it? Well keep tuned! PS, find out what the kings name is an anagram for and get a prize!!!