A/N Oooooh, I get it, so it's Wagner, not Vagner, instead of the other way around...okay I get it. I thought it was one of the two! Sorry, won't happen again. Anyway, I don't own X-Men or the song Quasimodo by Lifehouse. I know probably none of you have heard of it before but if you have Kazaa or something you an look it up, right? I don't exactly have it myself so...And if you can't I am sorry, but just read the words and you'll get the picture...or at least I hope so. BUT WHATEVER! ^_____^ Anyway, thanks for reviewing the last chapter, hope you enjoy, and please review and suggest a song!
Chapter II: Trapped
You can be right
And I'll be real
Oh, and it still won't be a pain
That you will have to feel
Cause I don't need your approval
To find my worth
I'm trapped inside of my own mind
Afraid to open my eyes cause of what I'd find and I
Don't wanna live like this anymore
There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them falling
Because this feeling
There has no meaning
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
There it goes
Kurt finally finished his chapter as the sun was setting again, book marking his spot and tucking it into his jacket pocket. The once bright window was now dull, a black figure still sitting there, curled up and not looking too well. Getting up, he quietly walked over and kneeled in front of her, slowly touching her kneecap to see if she was awake. She squirmed slightly, groggily opening her eye and rubbing it to get the sleep out. Sighing, she blinked, as if in disbelief.
"Oh, you're still here. And here I thought it was just some good dream..."
"No, you're still here," he smiled. He took one of her hands that was resting on her kneecap, looking at it to see if it was still bleeding. Luckily it wasn't because there was no wet blood, but she ripped it away before he got a chance to see if it had sealed up properly.
She stretched her arms up with a yawn, slapping her hands back down on her knees as she looked out the window again. He wondered why, for even if she was staring out one of the white pieces she still wouldn't be able to see very well. Maybe it was just to divert her eyes away to something else, because she still seemed a bit uneasy around him.
"Did you get any sleep?" he asked, trying to start a conversation.
"No, I just rested my eyes for awhile..."
"Zen vhy did you dream?" he grinned, and she nodded her head, gazing back at him in knowing she was caught.
"You're good at catching people when they lie," she pointed out
"Practice, especially vhen people told me I'd be taken to somevhere safe."
"Resettlement?" she questioned
"Yes, how did you-"
"Someone tried pulling that on me once," she laughed, "but I just punched them and ran as fast as I could."
"I still don't understand your sense of humor," he said honestly, and she shrugged.
"Different lives, I guess, so we find different things funny."
"But you find humor in pain," he stated.
She sighed, seeing this was getting nowhere. "Maybe I've had so much pain in my life that I finally find it funny."
"Don't you find anyzing else humorous?" he inquired.
She hesitated for a moment, smiling under those bandages one more time. "Not once have I found anything else comical..." That smile faded to a frown, her eyes beginning to become teary. "Everything I do is so...I mean, in my head, everything's fine, everything's always been fine until I finally open my eyes and see everyone hates me. Not once has anyone seen me as a good person, just a thing, a disease to the perfection of normal humans. All I've known is pain, and if I can't find humor in that...then all it will ever be is pain..." Her eye looked almost pleading, appearing that she would do something drastic if she didn't get any help and soon. "I don't want to live like this anymore, Kurt...I just couldn't take another cold stare...Another...Another time to be called 'it' or 'you' or worse...just by a number..."
He reached up a hand, putting it on her shoulder. "Zen vhy don't ze give you a name? How about Wictoria?"
"You mean Victoria?"
"Zat's vhat I said. Wictoria."
She chuckled, shaking her head. He grinned, pointed one of his three fingers. "See? You find humor in ozer zings if you vait. By ze vay, vat is so funny?"
"Your accent...Well, never mind"
"No, really, vas it somezing I said?"
She shook her head, finding it ironic he had just said that. "Like I said, never mind. It's...a good German accent!"
"At least I make you laugh at somezing else besides your pain," he proclaimed, and she nodded, her one eye becoming soft.
Just as he had done twice before, she finally put a hand on his shoulder, nodding her head. "Thanks Kurt. You don't know how much this helps me."
"Vell, you are wery velcome, Wictoria," he said, trying to be serious but just having her giggle in the end.
She looked closer, moving her hand up onto his face, seeing the markings she had not noticed before. Narrowing her eye, she stared deep into his. "What are these?" she asked and he only paused, forgetting about the marks on his skin from the moment before.
Does it scare you that I can
Be something different than you
Would it make you feel
More comfortable if I wasn't
Well you can't control me
And you can't take away from me who I am
There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them falling
Because this feeling
There has no meaning
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
You can't change me
You can't break me
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
He pushed her hand away, staring at the floor as he spoke. "It is ze alphabet of ze angels."
"Did you do this yourself?"
He nodded. "Yes."
She hesitated to say something for a long while, Kurt wondering if this would make him seem more crazy than she was. Surely these markings were a good thing to him, but to a person who didn't understand it may seem strange. No, he was not ashamed of it, but he questioned whether it was a bad idea not to conceal his face at least. If she thought he was bizarre and could not be taken seriously, then his fear of her slipping back into her darkness would be a reality once more, and all would be for nothing.
But, as he had been contradicted before of her running off in fear, she only put her hand back on the side of his head, tracing it with her thumb. "They're beautiful," she said. "It must've taken you awhile to do them all, though."
"Yes, but it vas virth it."
She looked at him, feeling a bit odd for being so upfront and taking her hand away. Victoria, as her new name allowed her to be called, had never trusted anyone until then. It was crazy because she just met the guy maybe a few hours ago, and yet...something in his eyes told her he could be trusted. Yeah, they were dark yellow contrasted by the hint of dark blue around them, and sure, his smile was filled with razor sharp teeth, but they both gave off a word she had never really used before. It was just saying 'friend' to her, and that's all she needed to believe in. Luckily for him, that's what he wanted to be, and hoped he could help her through her problems like a friend should.
"So, Kurt, if you ever had to face a human, like a normal looking one, would you ever listen to the nasty stuff they say? Would you let them control you?"
"Of course not!" he said firmly. "Never in my life have I let someone take control and tell me what I should be! Vell, vith ze exception of my families rules in just living right..."
She nodded her head. "Yeah...Thought so..."
"Vhy? Has somezing happened to you before?" he asked.
"No, nothing," she said, but he could tell she was lying, leaning his head in with a grin to tell her he knew so. She sighed, shaking her head. "Alright, alright, maybe. Jeez...I guess I must've aroused some attention so these people started throwing tomatoes at me and I kinda...Let's just say I didn't cut my hair anymore. They probably thought it was weird that I didn't have any hair and my face was wrapped in bandages."
He gazed for a moment in thought, seeing how dirty her face was as well. "Vhy is your face in bandages? Do you have a bad burn of somezing?"
"I'd rather not talk about it," she said quickly, her eyes strict in meaning she didn't want to talk about it, end of story.
"Alright...Is zere anyzing else you vant to talk about?"
Thinking for a moment with her eye diverted upward, she shook her head, shrugging. "No, I think that's it."
Kurt stood up, creaking the floor slightly as he did. He waved his hands that she could still sit when she was about to get up, telling her he'd be right back. All of the sudden she jumped when he disappeared, covering her mouth when she smelled something awful from the black cloud of smoke left behind. In a minute he returned with a bundle of clothes in his arm, setting them down in front of her so she could pick. As he kneeled down, he saw that she was still covering her nose, staring up at him and wanting an explanation.
"Oh, sorry about zat. It's ze smell of brimstone, or a least I've been told...Anyvay, I found some clothes in za church's charity bin. If you like, you can find some new zings to vear, seeing how yours are..umm..."
"Repulsive?" she filled in.
"Not exactly the vord I vas looking for, but yes, zat," he said, and she laughed.
"Thanks, Kurt, but you really didn't have to go through the trouble of getting me these things."
"Really, no need to zank me. Ze bin is just down zere, after all."
She smiled under her bandages, reaching forward and pinching the sides of his face gently. "You know what? The world needs more of you. A whole world of Kurt! Yeah, that sounds good."
He shook his head, chuckling. "No, I'm just doing my solemn duty as a human."
"Well, at least the world could think more like you..." She began picking through the different pairs of shirts, seeing how amazingly clean they were. "You know what they're planning out there? Making a law saying that mutants have to register! Can you believe that?"
"But vhy vould zey do zat?"
"I don't exactly know." She pointed a finger, her thought distracted for a moment as she picked out the shirt she wanted. "Maybe there afraid of us, of what some of us can do. There have been assassination attempts by mutants before. I think they called themselves the 'brotherhood' or something...But I only got that by eavesdropping on some fisherman so." She shrugged.
"Is zat so?" he said, sitting back in thought. "Maybe zat's vhy zey hate us...Because zey just can't understand it vas how ve vere born."
"I read in a newspaper that they think it's a condition, like a virus or something. It's probably just a cover up for their hidden agenda, though. It's like that old saying, what was it...? Oh yeah! People are afraid of what they don't understand, and so they just don't want to except change."
"Yes, but vill zat ever change us?" he inquired, and she shook her head.
"Nope, and let's just see them try!" She dug under the pile to find a pair of sandals, luckily able to fit snuggly over her wrapped feet.
He had never realized this before, but any skin that should have been showing, including her hands, feet, face, and neck were all wrapped in dirty bandages, almost as if she were a mummy. Standing up, she tapped them on, saying all she would need was the one shirt and a pair of jeans that looked like they fit. Kurt, taking up the rest of the clothes, said he'd be five beams down and if she wanted she could get away from the musty top when she was done. Transporting away, he ended up in front of the bin, hopping the extra clothes in where they had been from the beginning. Hearing her cough, he knew he should be more careful next time and step farther away when he was near her. Going back up, he sat off the edge in waiting for a reply or an 'all clear' or something like that. Instead, he got stuck in another conversation.
"Say Kurt, since there's a church bin, do a lot of people come around here?"
"Yes, but zere's only one mass on Sunday and zat's usually ven people come by," he answered.
"Do the people who work here know you're here?" she asked.
"Of course! I vouldn't be staying here without zeir knowing."
"Then...they accept you...?" she inquired.
There was a long pause, both of them contemplating what she had just said, Victoria more of why she had said that just then. Kurt stared up, his gaze meeting the rotten boards above. "You know, some people don't mind mutants."
She didn't answer after that. Instead, all that could be heard was the creaks of her moving overhead, dust slowly sprinkling down because of it. In a moment, he saw half of her head peek from above, seemingly worried.
"Is zere a somzing vong, Wictoria?" he asked, and all she did was slowly keep emerging.
"Uh...I-I guess I should've mentioned this but...umm...I-I'm kind of a-afriad of...heights."
"Zen how did you get yourself stuck up zere?" he laughed.
"Quit it, alright! Like I said, I don't know. Just...I-I'll just s-stay up here..."
"Nonsense! I'll help you if you like."
She stared, raising an eyebrow. "And how do you propose you do that?"
He grinned, turning into a puff of smoke a moment later. Victoria blinked, backing up slowly in fear that she would fall. As she prepared to stand, something suddenly grabbed her waist, lifting her up and running to the ledge. She screamed in terror as she fell and held onto her hat tightly, her stomach feeling like it went to her feet as she came to a stop, being set to her feet. When Kurt let go, she dropped to her knees, holding her side with her one eye shut.
"Kurt! Don't ever do that's again! I-I really do not like heights!"
"But look below you! You're only about ten feet up now!" he said, and she clicked her eye open, leaning forward to see he was right.
"Oh...W-well I guess it's not so bad..." she said, letting go and sitting up straight. However, even though her sign of sickness had past, there was a bit of disturbance on her face, like worry but not quite towards falling. He sat down next to her, hanging his feet off the edge and gazing to the smaller version of the stain glass window above the entrance door.
"Are you sure zere's nozing else you vant to talk about? You just don't seem vell to me," he said, and was thrown back when she smiled.
"One thing you have to understand, Kurt, is that I am never well."
Have you ever felt
Like your only comfort was your cage
You're not alone
I've felt the same as you
Have you ever felt like your secrets give you away
You're not alone
I've been there too
Cause everyone is looking
Everyone is laughing
But I think everyone feels the same
Everybody wants to feel okay
Everybody wants to
Everybody wants to feel
Victoria rubbed her hands together, dried blood cracking off and falling below their feet to the dusty ground floor. Kurt stared in question, wondering what she meant by that. She, of course, knew he was thinking of this, because everyone thought that very same question every time she asked it. So, knowing that he would keep staring or ask like everyone else did, she explained before he did either of those things.
"See, the thing is...I'm just not like you. People understand you because your nice and probably haven't done anything to hurt anyone, as for me...There are things that I have done..." She trailed off in thought, her frustration getting the best of her. He said nothing for a minute, then smiled, trying to be comforting.
"It's alright. You can tell me," he said.
"No, no, it's best if you don't know," she stated, sliding away.
In this instant, it seemed like she was doing this unwillingly, as if in a trance of her thoughts. She went over to the nearest vertical beam, leaning against it and curling up. Victoria seemed cold in a way, even though it was approaching the month of December and was a bit nippy. However, she was cold from the inside, as if freezing to death from her own being. It was just so strange to him, for he never met a person who needed so much help and yet did not want it. She wanted to feel okay, but would not let anyone, including him, know what was so wrong. He had been the same as her once, lost and alone, but he had at least found faith. It was so saddening to see she had nothing, to be adrift without any hope and yet not wanting any to begin with. It wasn't too hard to figure out what was going on with her, though. She wanted to die, to be left alone for once and wallow in as much misery she had collected over the years without anything more and just leave. This was just something he could not let happen, especially with someone who had so much more to live for. But, on this day there was no more to discuss, so he got up and walked over to his handmade bed again, taking his jacket off and putting it to the side. Rolling over on his side, the church grew quietness in the fading sun outside, finally back to it's silence as it had that morning.
In the darkness of the night, Victoria woke up to a creaking sound coming from below. She sat up, gazing over to Kurt to see if he was still there. Indeed he was, snoring even in a deep sleep. She looked over the edge, seeing nothing from the light of the streetlamps outside. Sitting back, she heard the same creaking noise, becoming nervous. The boards squeaked as she made her way very slowly over to Kurt, wanting to wake him up but not to alarm anything if something else was around. But as a very loud snap echoed, she go up rapidly, trying to run over to him.
However, a hand came over her mouth, muffling her scream as her head fell forward, an acid feeling like nothing felt before burning into the back of her neck as she was thrown off the side...
There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them falling
Because this feeling
There has no meaning
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
Cause I don't want it
I don't want it
You can't change me
You can't break me
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
There it goes
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A/N Okay, not such an interesting chapter, but it will get better, believe me! I just couldn't think of anything else to go with the song... But not I have a whole list written up and I'll be set! ^_^
