"I," Cho said," Am NOT a duck! So screw y'all! Um, I mean, Screw all you buggers, chaps! Why are we in bloody england anyway?"

"Because," Dumbledore said "VOLDEMORT (crowd shudders) has chosen for VOLDEMORT (crowd shudders), that VOLDEMORT (crowd shudders) would like VOLDEMORT (crowd shudders (you know this getting quite boring for me (actualling, putting parenthses inside parentheses started with math (I'm sure you'd rather not hear anything about school right now though )))) to live. VOLDEMOOOOOOOOOOOORT! (crowd shudders)"

"Um Mr. Dumbledore!", said Harry, trying to catch his breath from making out with the duck ---

"I'M NOT A FREAKIN DUCK RETARD!" Cho Screamed

"Are too!" Ron said "You're a duck that likes to ----"

"RON!" Harry said and hit him over the head with a chair. "I didn't say you're a duck, the SageofZelda2000 just wrote it.

"Harry!" Cho whispered, "DO YOU THINK THEY KNOW MY SECRET NOW!!!????" she yelled.

"Right when you asked, no. Now? Yes."

"VOLDEMORT!" Dumbledore said to get everyone's attention, "Everyone shut the VOLDEMORTING VOLDEMORT up!"

"Such language! What the h*** does he think he's saying?"

"VOLDEMORT YOU HARRY! Anyway, let's sing the hogwarts song. 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4 (Heavy Metal music starts playing)

VOLDEMORRRRRRRRRRT!
These scars they are from hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VOLDEMORT, the secrets are from within!!!!!!!!
VO-ho-ldemort *wooop* HE WILL DIIIIIIE!!!!!
V is for VOLDEMORT!
O is for Oh s--- it's Voldemort
L is for Lick my d--- it's VOLDEMORT
D is for da-- it's voldemort
E is for EXTREME VOLDEMORT
M is for Mother of VOLDERMORT
O is for Opti-Free VOLDEMORT
R is for that retard VOLDEMORT
T is for Tangerines! IT"S VOL-DE_MOOOOOOOOOOOORT!!!
VOLDEMORT WILL DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE
THESE SCARS, THIS PAIN
FOREVER WILL THEY BE
VOLDEMORT!!!! HIS NAME MAKES ME FREAK!
Cho Chang the duck, has a (radio edit) beak!!!
Singing this makes me feel CORNY!
VOLDEMORT, YOU MAKE, MEEEEEEE, HHHHHHHOOOOORRRRNNNYY!!!
Voldemort!

"Okay everyone. How was that? Why are you all on the floor? (everyone's knocked out on the floor) Ooooo! A duck!"