Author's note:
It was pointed out to me that one could read this as a slash story. Though this was not my intention, you can interpret it any way you like - as we all do with fictional work. In any way, you have my blessings. :-)
Inspired by the short-story "How the Bassa keeps the faith" by Giovanni Guareschi.
Lord of the Rings and all its characters are owned by Tolkien's estate. The story itself is owned by the author. No copyright infringment intended.
***
TOMORROW. AS USUAL.
This is neither a tale of great heroic deeds nor of deep wisdom. But I will tell you, if you insist, though I must make haste, as I have an appointment to keep.
***
You can get weary of people, even of those you love. There is hardly a minute left all for myself in my days, but I do not complain, for at least the nights are mine.
I can't remember when I started to spend the late evenings walking through the Golden Woods. You might think that after more millennia than I like to admit I should know every single flower by its name, but still, every day brings a new discovery - be it an interesting shadow over the water or the fascination of a day's last sun ray breaking in a drop of dew.
Of course these hours are not as exciting as those were that I spent on battlefields. Back then I've been much younger, with a quick temper, and if age and wisdom have one advantage then it is that I can look back and enjoy the follies of my youth now without having to carry the consequences again.
It was during one of those nightly strolls that I discovered the pond. It was a small one, actually nothing more than a big puddle, but there was something magical about it; the small clearing illuminated by the pale moonlight, the cool, black water like a blanket of silk, and I wondered how came that I had never seen it before.
Then I saw him.
He sat on a big stone, hands folded over his knees, and his eyes were resting on the water. It was obvious that he had come here for solitude; I didn't want to intrude, but I reckoned he must have heard me by now, so I stepped forward and extended my greetings.
"Mae govannen, Haldir", I said.
He startled and tried to get up, but I shook my head. "No, stay where you are, 't is much too lovely a night for formalities." He gave me a smile, nodded, then gestured me to sit beside him, which I did.
He told me that he often came here, for he loved the peaceful atmosphere of the place, and found it much easier to retrospect on the day's deeds when being alone. I agreed with him, and when I realized that he didn't feel my presence was an intrusion, we started to talk. He told me how they'd run into a troup of Orcs the day before yesterday, I told him of a tiresome meeting, he spoke about his brothers, I about my daughter, and so the hours flew, and when our ways finally parted, the dawn was already breaking.
The next evening, my feet carried me to the pond again, and there he was, not the least surprised to see me, and within no time, we were involved in a deep conversation. I found him to be of quick wit and blessed with a good sense of humour; he was well-read and soon we exchanged thoughts about the works of our great philosophers.
We met often in the weeks and months to come. Sometimes he was gone for a week or two when on border patrol, sometimes my business lead me away from the Golden Wood, but mostly, our meetings ended with a brief "Tomorrow?", which was answered with "as usual".
Those nights - I wish I could express what these talks meant to me. "Fruits of Silver on a Plate of Mitrhil". As it is always the case when you learn about another person's thoughts and feelings, I got to look at some aspects of life from a different angle, because we are all different, and even a stone will look a million times different to a million people. It shook me well and good in my settled ways, and I found his original way of thinking most inspiring.
We got to know each other well, and when I finally saw behind his mask of pride and reservation, I found him to be very lonely. There was no place in his life for anything but the duty to our people; he had a brilliant mind, original thoughts, a caring heart - but nobody to share it with. And I, though blessed with a plethora of family and friends, could understand his loneliness.
As I said, sometimes you can get weary of people, even if you love them.
***
I woke from the sound of heavy raindrops falling on the leaves above the talan, then tossed and turned for quite a while, but was unable to return to sleep. I felt restless, and, being well aware that it wasn't the storm that kept me from slipping back to slumber, I put my clothes on, took my cloak, pulled the hood over my head and went out into the rain.
When I arrived at the pond, I was soaked to my bones, but so was he, sitting on the stone, ignoring the rain, and obviously waiting for me.
We looked at each other, and if the circumstances hadn't been so serious, we would have laughed about ourselves, resembling neither proud guardian nor noble lord, but two drowned rats. But as things were, all he said was: "I will leave in the morrow."
I nodded. Of course, I knew - after all, I had been the one who had ordered him to go. But hearing it spoken out like this made the danger more real, like a picture coming to life, and it was not a pretty picture that formed in my mind.
He got up, looking very tired, his wet hair clinging to his face and shoulders, and I wondered once again if I had made the right decision. But whom could I have sent? I had to order the best - and I had no right to value one of my Galadhrim's life higher than that of another - even if it was one as dear to me as him.
"I wish you luck", I finally said, "and may the Valar be with you." He slightly bowed his head, and then he turned around to leave, hesitating, looking back over his shoulder, and I knew there was something he wanted to say, something important, I could see it in his eyes, but he didn't, he just disappeared in the woods, leaving me alone beside the pond.
I waited till his grey-clad figure had disappeared from my sight, then I drew my wet cloak closer around myself and ran through the rain, back to my home.
***
Nobody had to tell me what had happened. I knew. I knew the very second his heart had stopped beating.
I offered comfort to my wife, as was expected, and to his family, as seemed proper. And when I went for my usual walk that night, I wasn't surprised at all to see him sitting on the stone by the pond, waiting for me.
"Mae govannen, Haldir", I said, and he bowed his head in acknowledgement. He looked the same, but yet - there was something in his eyes, the expression of somebody who was carrying a great burden, and he looked very tired and worn.
We didn't speak, just sat there in silence, overlooking the pond. Finally, he broke the silence, and said with a deep sigh: "My lord, you should release me from my duties."
I didn't face him, just let my eyes wander over the peaceful water, and marvelled how the moon mirrored on the smooth surface.
"No." I finally said.
When our eyes met, I saw that the haunted expression had gone, and a smile was playing on his lips.
"Tomorrow?" he asked.
"As usual." I answered.
***
As I said: I must make haste. I have an appointment to keep.
***
The End
© Untalented Elfwriter 2003
It was pointed out to me that one could read this as a slash story. Though this was not my intention, you can interpret it any way you like - as we all do with fictional work. In any way, you have my blessings. :-)
Inspired by the short-story "How the Bassa keeps the faith" by Giovanni Guareschi.
Lord of the Rings and all its characters are owned by Tolkien's estate. The story itself is owned by the author. No copyright infringment intended.
***
TOMORROW. AS USUAL.
This is neither a tale of great heroic deeds nor of deep wisdom. But I will tell you, if you insist, though I must make haste, as I have an appointment to keep.
***
You can get weary of people, even of those you love. There is hardly a minute left all for myself in my days, but I do not complain, for at least the nights are mine.
I can't remember when I started to spend the late evenings walking through the Golden Woods. You might think that after more millennia than I like to admit I should know every single flower by its name, but still, every day brings a new discovery - be it an interesting shadow over the water or the fascination of a day's last sun ray breaking in a drop of dew.
Of course these hours are not as exciting as those were that I spent on battlefields. Back then I've been much younger, with a quick temper, and if age and wisdom have one advantage then it is that I can look back and enjoy the follies of my youth now without having to carry the consequences again.
It was during one of those nightly strolls that I discovered the pond. It was a small one, actually nothing more than a big puddle, but there was something magical about it; the small clearing illuminated by the pale moonlight, the cool, black water like a blanket of silk, and I wondered how came that I had never seen it before.
Then I saw him.
He sat on a big stone, hands folded over his knees, and his eyes were resting on the water. It was obvious that he had come here for solitude; I didn't want to intrude, but I reckoned he must have heard me by now, so I stepped forward and extended my greetings.
"Mae govannen, Haldir", I said.
He startled and tried to get up, but I shook my head. "No, stay where you are, 't is much too lovely a night for formalities." He gave me a smile, nodded, then gestured me to sit beside him, which I did.
He told me that he often came here, for he loved the peaceful atmosphere of the place, and found it much easier to retrospect on the day's deeds when being alone. I agreed with him, and when I realized that he didn't feel my presence was an intrusion, we started to talk. He told me how they'd run into a troup of Orcs the day before yesterday, I told him of a tiresome meeting, he spoke about his brothers, I about my daughter, and so the hours flew, and when our ways finally parted, the dawn was already breaking.
The next evening, my feet carried me to the pond again, and there he was, not the least surprised to see me, and within no time, we were involved in a deep conversation. I found him to be of quick wit and blessed with a good sense of humour; he was well-read and soon we exchanged thoughts about the works of our great philosophers.
We met often in the weeks and months to come. Sometimes he was gone for a week or two when on border patrol, sometimes my business lead me away from the Golden Wood, but mostly, our meetings ended with a brief "Tomorrow?", which was answered with "as usual".
Those nights - I wish I could express what these talks meant to me. "Fruits of Silver on a Plate of Mitrhil". As it is always the case when you learn about another person's thoughts and feelings, I got to look at some aspects of life from a different angle, because we are all different, and even a stone will look a million times different to a million people. It shook me well and good in my settled ways, and I found his original way of thinking most inspiring.
We got to know each other well, and when I finally saw behind his mask of pride and reservation, I found him to be very lonely. There was no place in his life for anything but the duty to our people; he had a brilliant mind, original thoughts, a caring heart - but nobody to share it with. And I, though blessed with a plethora of family and friends, could understand his loneliness.
As I said, sometimes you can get weary of people, even if you love them.
***
I woke from the sound of heavy raindrops falling on the leaves above the talan, then tossed and turned for quite a while, but was unable to return to sleep. I felt restless, and, being well aware that it wasn't the storm that kept me from slipping back to slumber, I put my clothes on, took my cloak, pulled the hood over my head and went out into the rain.
When I arrived at the pond, I was soaked to my bones, but so was he, sitting on the stone, ignoring the rain, and obviously waiting for me.
We looked at each other, and if the circumstances hadn't been so serious, we would have laughed about ourselves, resembling neither proud guardian nor noble lord, but two drowned rats. But as things were, all he said was: "I will leave in the morrow."
I nodded. Of course, I knew - after all, I had been the one who had ordered him to go. But hearing it spoken out like this made the danger more real, like a picture coming to life, and it was not a pretty picture that formed in my mind.
He got up, looking very tired, his wet hair clinging to his face and shoulders, and I wondered once again if I had made the right decision. But whom could I have sent? I had to order the best - and I had no right to value one of my Galadhrim's life higher than that of another - even if it was one as dear to me as him.
"I wish you luck", I finally said, "and may the Valar be with you." He slightly bowed his head, and then he turned around to leave, hesitating, looking back over his shoulder, and I knew there was something he wanted to say, something important, I could see it in his eyes, but he didn't, he just disappeared in the woods, leaving me alone beside the pond.
I waited till his grey-clad figure had disappeared from my sight, then I drew my wet cloak closer around myself and ran through the rain, back to my home.
***
Nobody had to tell me what had happened. I knew. I knew the very second his heart had stopped beating.
I offered comfort to my wife, as was expected, and to his family, as seemed proper. And when I went for my usual walk that night, I wasn't surprised at all to see him sitting on the stone by the pond, waiting for me.
"Mae govannen, Haldir", I said, and he bowed his head in acknowledgement. He looked the same, but yet - there was something in his eyes, the expression of somebody who was carrying a great burden, and he looked very tired and worn.
We didn't speak, just sat there in silence, overlooking the pond. Finally, he broke the silence, and said with a deep sigh: "My lord, you should release me from my duties."
I didn't face him, just let my eyes wander over the peaceful water, and marvelled how the moon mirrored on the smooth surface.
"No." I finally said.
When our eyes met, I saw that the haunted expression had gone, and a smile was playing on his lips.
"Tomorrow?" he asked.
"As usual." I answered.
***
As I said: I must make haste. I have an appointment to keep.
***
The End
© Untalented Elfwriter 2003
