Parody
…I think Rogue was sufficiently punished. This chapter is INSANE. The Australopithecus is NOT a dinosaur…but whatever.
"Uh-oh, guys." Said Bobby. "I don't know what to do now."
"What we should have done a LONG time ago!" Pietro announced as he reached into his pocket and pulled, what looked like, his wallet. "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!!"
"MASTADON!!" yelled Pietro.
"PTERODACTYL!" St. John yelled.
"TRICERITOPS!" Bobby cried.
"SABER-TOOTHED TIGER!" Kurt announced.
Upon bellowing their individual dinosaurs, the four named dinosaurs decended from the heavens, made entirely out of Adamantium. Pietro, St. John, Bobby and Kurt bent their knees and gave a mighty leap into the air, landing in their respected robot.
"All right, guys!" Pietro said as he waved his arms around so fast that whipping noises were heard. "Let's trash this slimeball!"
"She doesn't look very slimy to me!" St. John said with many nods of the head.
"Like totally!" Bobby said as if that made any sense.
"Killer ride man!" Kurt said, sliding into place.
Meanwhile, with the other group of four, Scott, Lance, Kitty and Remy…
"I didn't travel halfway across the universe to stand idly by while my people are being held as slaves!" Lance grunted as he paced back and forth.
"Calm down, your majesty!" said Kitty as she comforted Lance. "It'll be all right! With Angelina's powers smiling upon us, we're SURE to end triumphantly!"
"I know, Kitty…" said Lance as he put his hand on her shoulder. "I just feel as though I should be doing something. Angelina sacrificed herself for my people and I'm just standing here!"
"Why don't we go and help?" suggested Gambit. "We got all 'dis new stuff."
"You've convinced me!" Lance cheered. But then he stopped and looked at Scott who was scowling angrily. "If that's…all right with you…"
Scott looked as though he was trying to bend over because of peer pressure but eventually looked up, smiling and said;
"IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!!"
"TYRANNOSAURUS!!" bellowed Lance.
"STEGOSAURUS!" Remy screamed.
"ANKYLOSAURUS!!" Kitty screeched. (Whoa…getting a little carried away with these different 'yelling' verbs.)
"AUSTRALOPITHECUS!!" Scott roared. As they said these names, the four metal zords descended to the world below and were boarded by the four of them.
"Now let's go save our friends!" Kitty said.
"And my people!" Lance added.
Meanwhile…
"She's too powerful!!" Pietro yelled as Lord Rogue dodged his barrage of attacks and retaliated with a swipe of her mighty tail.
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"A giant Rogue overlord with a tail?" asked Beast with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes." Said Professor Xavier, not even looking up.
"That image will haunt me forever."
"Be silent."
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"I'll get her from the air!" St. John called as he swooped in, only to be batted aside and away into the distance.
"We need to form the megazord!" Bobby said over his intercom.
"We can't without the other four!" Kurt whined as he writhed in pain.
"Somebody call for us!" came four voices from over a hill as four figures came into view.
"I KNEW you'd make it!" Kurt cheered.
"When we didn't see your flare, we got worried!" Lance explained.
"Well, that would be idiot over there assuming we'd have a fire source readily available!" said Pietro with a nod of his head.
"Hey!" St. John said. "I knew ONE of you had a flamethrower!"
"That would be me…" said Kitty guiltily.
"AHEM!!" said Lord Rogue impatiently as she tapped her massive foot.
"We have to form the Megazord!" Scott declared from inside his giant metal Australopithecus. Dramatic music started playing as all the Zords folded up and connected to each other at various points forming the different parts of the body. Everyone miraculously appeared in the very same room where all the controls were.
"Let's beat this slimeball!" said Pietro.
"YEAH!!" cheered everyone, including Pietro.
Lightning crashed and the Megazord reached its mighty hand out as the Super Sword descended from the heavens. The Megazord grabbed the sword and started swinging it around crazily until finally striking a pose.
"Ha ha!" laughed Lord Rogue even though she moved her mouth three times. "You think you can defeat me?! Well think again!" She then stuck her hand out and a Super Evil Sword descended from the heavens and then SHE swung it around crazily and struck a pose.
"This is going to be a tough battle!" said Remy dramatically.
"Give us strength, Angelina!" St. John said.
"GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!" came a few booming voices as the Megazord and Lord Rogue engaged in mortal combat. Oddly enough, whenever they struck each other with their swords, sparks flew out of their bodies.
Lord Rogue shoved the Megazord to the ground.
"We're finished, guys!" said Lance. "Thanks for trying to save my people!"
"I will now dispose of you!" declared Lord Rogue.
"OH NO!!" yelled the Power Rangers as they braced themselves from Lord Rogue's wrath just as they heard a trumpet playing off in the distance.
"What's that?" Kitty said.
"HUH?!" said Lord Rogue way too enthusiastically as she became temporarily distracted from the task at hand.
Just then, from out of the ocean they were next to, emerged a giant metal Brontosaurus roaring. A figure dressed in purple leapt into the dinosaur and took the controls.
"Don't worry, Power Rangers!" said the mysterious purple man. "I'm here to help you!"
"YAY!!!" cheered the Power Rangers as they got the strength to kick Lord Rogue out of the way.
Then the Brontosaurus and the Megazord joined forces and struck a pose.
"Hurry!" said The Mysterious Purple Man. "Deliver the final blow!"
"OKAY!!" said Kurt as he pressed the Final Blow Button.
It's not like the Megazord shot off any sort of projectile.
"AH!!" yelled Lord Rogue as sparks flew everywhere and she leapt behind a building, exploding.
"ALL RIGHT!!" said all the Power Rangers.
Later, after all the Zords had left and everyone had transformed out of their Power Ranger selves, they confronted the Mysterious Purple Man who was still dressed as a Power Ranger.
"Who are you, stranger?" Bobby asked.
"You all know me." Said the Mysterious Purple Man as he grabbed his mask and pulled it off in cheap slow motion.
"GASP!!" yelled everyone.
"Yes…it is I, Roberto." Said the Mysterious Purple Man AKA Roberto AKA SUNSPOT!!!
Everyone paused.
"Roberto?" said Kitty. "Why are you here? I was expecting someone like… Evan or something…"
"Well I'm here." Roberto answered with a scoff. Then he knelt down on one knee in front of Lance. "I'm here to serve you, your majesty. Because, you see, I am one of your subjects as well."
"YOU can shake the world too?" Lance asked.
"No." said Roberto, turning his head away as if not
being able to shake the world made him less important. Which it did. " I am one of the less bitter ones who cannot. Although I cannot shake the world, I still
remain loyal to you!"
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"Charles." Said Beast. "I must intervene. This is getting far too odd. Please stop."
"What do you mean?" asked Professor Xavier sadly.
"No matter how much you want it, your X-Men are not Power Rangers." Beast explained gently. "Lance is not the king of a far off planet and Roberto is WAY too obscure."
"But…" started Professor Xavier. "You've objected to all my other characters like Kastarry and Cornelius! Just let Roberto stay! He's not an original character!"
"But he practically is!" said Beast. "All he has is the name!"
"So?" said Professor Xavier bitterly.
"Just…oh fine…" Beast said, rolling his eyes. "Roberto can stay. But they can't be Power Rangers anymore."
"Why not?" Professor Xavier said, crossing his arms.
"Because it's just demented." Beast said. "Isn't it enough that they're super heroes as the X-Men?"
Professor Xavier sighed.
Beast sighed as well.
"Well…" Beast said. "We have been writing this for…what? A few hours now? To be frank, my ass hurts. I have to go to the bathroom, I'm hungry and I want to see the world!"
"Let's go see a movie!" said Professor Xavier.
"A LONG movie!" Beast added.
"A BUNCH of long movies!"
"Then let's go out to eat!"
"And go to the mall!"
"And then we can go on a road trip!"
"And then we could come home and continue our story."
"Good idea!" said Beast.
"But in the meantime, let's just leave it up on the computer." Professor Xavier said, wheeling away from the computer. "It's not like anyone's going to come in and read it."
"ROAD TRIP!!" Beast cheered as the two of them left the room.
Moments later, Kitty phased through the wall.
"PROFESSOR!!" she called. "Hannukah ended a week ago! Where are you, Professor? Where is everyone?"
Then she wandered over to the computer.
"Hello, what's this?" she said, looking at the screen. "A fanfiction!"
If you think that Professor Xavier and Beast are not ones to randomly declare a road trip and then actually go on one then you have obviously not seen enough episodes of X-Men Evolution because they definitely ARE. I mean, how else were we supposed to get them out of the house for a long enough period of time? Ah! I've said too much already!
