Modifications by Remy, Kitty and St. John
YAY!! The X-Men and crew FINALLY discover the evil fanfiction! Remy, Kitty and St. John will put in their opinions on where the story should go from here. Oh Deary me! That spells disaster!!
All of a sudden, Roberto pulled off his mask to reveal that he was actually Chere in disguise.
"Chere!" Remy called.
"Remy!" Rogue yelled back as they ran over to each other but Chere stopped suddenly. "I can't hug you, Remy! Remember my mutant power?"
"More like a mutant CURSE!" Remy replied.
Chere burst into tears. "But I love you so much!!" she cried.
"Well, Remy got a surprise." Remy said coolly. "You see, while Remy was away at school, he learned his powers back. But he also learned how to be immune to YOURS!"
"You mean…I can touch you?" Rogue said.
"And a whole lot more, Chere." Remy answered.
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"I'm sorry." Said Kitty. "I have a few comments to make. First of all, Rogue is definitely NOT like that at all! Second of all, where did the rest of us go?! Third of all…you're not randomly inserting NEARLY enough French into this story!"
"Well, Remy not had the right opportunity to randomly insert French yet." Remy replied. "You all are standing idly by. And Chere can be like that if Remy wants cause this is HIS story."
"I never knew you harbored a secret love for one of the X-Men!" said St. John. "All those times we just walked and talked instead of lifting boxes in a random room with Piotr, we talked about SO many things but you never once brought up the fact that you were secretly in love…"
"Well it true." Remy said, bowing his head in shame.
"That's so CUTE!!" said St. John, grabbing Remy's head and noogying him. Remy immediately threw an explosive playing card at him but St. John dodged just in the nick of time!
"Yeah, Remy been t'inkin' a lot of Chere lately." Remy replied. "So he t'inks maybe it love. But it awkward, you know? We gotta kill each other so he thinks that maybe if she read 'dis, she might…you know…get an idea."
"I could tell her!" said Kitty.
"No…Remy gonna blame this chapter on the writer." Remy said. "And hope she gets the message."
"You never struck me as the shy type!" said St. John thoughtfully.
"But anyway…" Remy said, turning back to the computer.
"No…" said St. John. "I don't wanna sit here behind you watching you write a story about you and Rogue getting it on! It's MY turn to write!"
"Yeah right!" said Kitty. "It's DEFINITELY my turn!"
"You're both wrong." Said Remy. "It Remy's turn."
"You already wrote some!" Kitty said. "It's my turn!" She phased through Remy and sat down in the chair. Remy sat there for a moment before deciding that this was an uncomfortable thing for him.
"You just invadin' Remy's personal space." He said, getting up.
"All right!" Kitty said excitedly. "My turn!"
"All right, let's go." Remy said to St. John.
"I want a turn!" said St. John who was spinning around on a spinny chair.
"You not gonna get a turn." Said Remy.
"I want a turn!" St. John said as if he were a child.
"Oh fine…" said Remy, noticing that Kitty had
already started typing. He decided to
just leave for a minute.
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"Oh I LOVE you Remy!" said Rogue as she went to hug Remy.
"Well, Rogue, you aren't my Chere." Said Remy, pushing Rogue away. "I've just realized how much I actually love…Kitty."
Remy then turned to Kitty who was standing by herself looking more beautiful than ever. He opened his arms to accept his love.
"You are my new Chere." He whispered in her ear. "Je t'aime."
"Not so fast!" came a voice from behind Remy and Kitty. They both turned around to see Lance standing there angrily. Lance had always wanted the wonderful Kitty's love but he could never accept that he would never get it. "I'm willing to fight you to the death for Kitty's love!"
"It's worth it, mon ami!" Remy stated.
"Well…" started Scott. "As long as we're fighting for Kitty's love, I might as well join."
"Me too!" said Pietro.
"We ALL love Kitty!" said all of the other males.
"You can't ALL have me…" said Kitty innocently.
"That's why we must FIGHT!" said Bobby.
"Don't even bother, my mere love for Kitty shall give me extra strength to defeat you all!" Kurt declared.
"I LOVE Kitty!" said St. John.
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"HEY!!" said St. John. "That's not true!! I thought we had telepathically come to a mutual agreement that since we were married earlier on that we would just remain friends in the future!!"
"You love me…as a friend." Kitty explained as Remy came strolling back in with a muffin.
"Remy just helped himself." Remy said, sitting in the empty chair next to Kitty. He quickly read what Kitty had just written. "There's so many things wrong with everything Remy said! For one, Remy talks in third person. It a distinct trait he has."
"Well…I didn't feel like doing that." Kitty said.
"Second, Remy love CHERE, not you." Remy continued.
"I'm your NEW Chere!" Kitty replied.
"No you're not." Remy said plainly.
"In the STORY I mean." Kitty explained.
"And finally, Remy would never call someone 'mon ami' if he was about to fight them to the death!" Remy finished.
"Why, what does 'mon ami' mean?" Kitty asked. Remy slapped his forehead.
"It means 'my friend'." Remy answered.
"Oh…well…okay…" said Kitty.
"Move over." Said Remy, putting his muffin down on the table. "Let Remy take over again."
"Can I have your muffin?" St. John asked.
"No." Remy answered.
"Can I have a turn?" St. John asked.
"No." Remy answered.
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"Actually, Chere, you really are Remy's Chere." Said Remy, turning back to Rogue who was in tears.
"Oh good!" said Chere.
"You know Remy would never leave you!" Remy said. "Remy was just kidding."
Kitty and her twelve boyfriends left.
"Now what?" Chere asked.
"Let's make out since we couldn't before." Remy
replied.
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"Hey!" said St. John as he extinguished a flame that he had been playing with ever so contently. "Isn't this why I stopped you before?!"
"Yes." Remy answered.
"Oh okay then." Said St. John as he lit his lighter again.
Remy took a look at the lighter and then felt in his pocket to find it missing. "How you get that?" he asked.
"I stole it." St. John answered as if it was nothing. "I stole your muffin too."
"That's it." Said Remy, standing up. "Stealing one t'ing from a masta' t'ief is one thing but stealin' TWO t'ings? That's just going too far."
"I like my muffins…HOT!!!" St. John yelled, torching the muffin until it was nothing but a pile of ashes.
"I hope you're going to clean that up!" Kitty gasped.
"Hey…" said St. John, looking at his lighter. "I have my lighter! I want a turn RIGHT NOW!!" He then made a huge fire explode behind him so it was extremely frightening and dramatic. Not to mention very WARM as well but that was the last of their thoughts.
Kitty and Remy, not making any sudden motions, slowly stood up and backed away from the computer. St. John skipped merrily over to the seat and pulled himself up nice and close.
"All right!" he said, rubbing his hands together enthusiastically. "Since the only two people who are currently present are Remy and Rogue, I'm going to make it from Remy's point of view since I don't really know Rogue very well."
"First person?" asked Remy.
"Sort of…but not really. I know it's an odd switch." Said St. John. "But…I think it would make things more insightful…and deep…and meaningful!"
"Insightful?" said Remy with a raised eyebrow.
"Deep?" Kitty added.
"Meaningful?" St. John finished. "Wait…hey!!
You confused me! You two be
quiet while I type and don't interrupt me like I so rudely did to both of you
on numerous occasions!" Then he slammed
his lighter down on the table reasonably far away from himself. "I think I'll put it in italics too! That always looks cool!"
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Rejection…
That is the fear that always burned deep inside Remy LeBeau. The fear he never allowed to furnace too brightly. He kept that particular flame on low hidden behind the mask of a confident lady-killer.
He had no less than seconds ago turned down the girl of his dreams. The girl who never revealed her name to anyone, not even Remy. That had always stung Remy. She was unable to trust him enough with something so simple as her name. Perhaps the supposed eternal flame burning between them was nothing more than a spark. A short flicker of hope that soon fades and is soon forgotten.
Remy backed away from the gothic princess slowly. She looked beautiful, her purple lipstick slightly faded from the course of the day and her hair hung down gently and framed her face. Remy knew he could not have her. No one could. She was an untouchable flame, beautiful to the eye but painful to the touch. She deserved better than the notorious Prince of Thieves.
Remy felt a singular warm tear form in his fiery red eyes. It slid down his cheek slowly and stopped at the end of his face, dangling carelessly off the end of his chin. It suddenly broke free and plummeted down to Rogue's hands which were resting on Remy's shoulders.
"Remy's sorry, Chere…" Remy choked out as he wiped the moisture from his face. "He don't deserve you…"
Upon uttering those words, Remy pushed Rogue aside gently and ran past her. To ensure Remy that Rogue was not following him, he touched a nearby tree, causing it to emit a flickering glow like that of a candle. The life of the tree was cut short when it suddenly exploded, sending flaming branches everywhere.
"Remy!" Remy heard Rogue's voice from behind him. "I still…"
Her words were cut short. Remy looked behind him to see what the problem was to see his horror among horrors. Rogue was lying down on the ground, crushed by a flaming log.
"Chere!" Remy called as he ran to her side. Rogue looked up and smiled at Remy. "Chere, don't die!"
"Ah can't decide when to die, Remy…it's mah time." She closed her eyes and turned her head slowly to the side. Her chest rose and fell slightly with every breath she took but it soon slowed down until it stopped completely. Rogue had breathed her last breath and now her flame of life was extinguished.
The tears flowed down Remy's cheeks freely and he did not bother to hide them nor wipe them away. The perfection in his life was gone and now he had nothing. Life was not worth living anymore. Remy pulled from his pocket a blade wrapped in cloth. He ran his finger along the blade to see if it was sharp. A clean stripe of blood appearing on the appendage told him that it was.
"Au revoir monde cruel." Remy whispered as he planted a short kiss on Rogue's lifeless cheek. He then raised the dagger into the air, level with his heart.
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"First you kill Remy's Chere…" said Remy as he slammed his hand down on St. John's wildly typing fingers. "But Remy can't sit and watch you kill him too."
"You ruined the mood!" St. John whined. "Now I'm out of the ZONE! I couldn't continue if I WANTED to!"
"Maybe dat's a good thing." Said Remy. "For Remy's sake."
Suddenly Piotr came running into the room.
"There be being Pietro outside!" he said frantically to his two teammates. "Hurry! We be having to go!"
"Dang…" said Remy.
"We didn't even do whatever we came here to do!" St. John said, his eyes getting large. Piotr turned into his metal man form and grabbed Remy in one arm and St. John in the other. He then kicked the window open and jumped out. He didn't get hurt because he's made out of metal.
Kitty sat there by herself staring at the computer screen. She had been expecting St. John to write something along the lines of 'And then St. John came and burned everyone! YAY!! The end!' but was utterly surprised to see something right out of some crazy gothic romance novel!! She grabbed the mouse and dragged the cursor up to the top of the screen and clicked on the 'save' button.
"Hopefully, we did more help than hurt." She said as she phased through the wall.
Suddenly, Pietro ran into the room. "Guys!" he yelled. "I'm going to tell my father that you tied me up, gagged me, locked me in the closet and went on this mission without me! Guys?"
He looked around the room but didn't his teammates. "I thought I heard them up here…"
He spotted the computer sitting on the desk, aglow. "Heh heh…looks as though the Professor left a top secret document open!"
He scrolled up to the top of the document and began reading it, hoping to learn something promising. After reading for about a second, he pulled back, absolutely horrified. "Oh! My! GOD!!" he yelled. "This is a FANFICTION about ME… loving JEAN!!"
