Part 5: Think non-sexy thoughts!

Realisation dawning on Pete, he quickly hauls Clark into a nearby supply closet. Jocks nearby holler and cat call as he shuts the door and pulls the light switch.

"Think non-sexy thoughts Clark, think non-sexy thoughts. Um, uh, dictionaries, Mrs. Forster naked, cows.Oh I know - Lex's bald shiny head!" Pete began spluttering random things that were meant to calm Clark's 'excitement'.

"It's alright. I think I'm alright now Pete." Another one of Clark's spiralling list of curiosities maybe? And why was I thinking non-sexy thoughts?

Clark looked up at Pete, confused. Pete suddenly bursts out laughing as Clark wipes the sweat from his forehead. "Man! I thought you had the heat vision under control! Must have been seeing Lana with her nose all crinkled up, just how you like it!" Pete gave in to another burst of laughter. "Good thing we didn't go to the Gym after all, could have been a lot of fires to explain if you couldn't keep your horny ass in check!"

More laughter as Lana tries to put together the pieces that Pete had just handed her. Heat vision? Horny ass? Fire? Lana? Nose crinkling? Just how I like it? Have to think 'non-sexy thoughts' to stop it? Whoa!! (how many times have I said that already? I think the more telling question will be how many more times I say it before the day is out.) Clark sets fires with his eyes when he gets horny!? But that means. me. in the hallway. why did that happen? There must be some of Clark still in here otherwise, well otherwise, I'm sick. Who am I calling sick? Clark's the one with Ejacu-vision! Hmm, I like that name, very fitting.

"I've not been feeling too hot today, Pete"

"Try, the opposite!" Pete doubles over with another fit of admittedly feminine giggles. "I'm sorry dude, I'll try to calm down, just don't be getting like that staring at me, I'm gonna get enough hassle from my mates on the football squad about coming out of the closet with you as it is. That little move is really going to hurt my reputation as a Playa' around campus."

Now it was Lana's turn to laugh. "No one thinks of you as a "Playa'" Pete. Just a short dude with a bit of a problem with the ladies. Your ego is still way too large from Spring Formal last year, I swear."

Pete punched Clark on the arm playfully. Funny, I didn't feel a thing, I guess all Pete's training hasn't been doing him much good, Lana thought.

"I guess we should get going, 3rd period is gonna start soon and we don't want you being late now, do we?"

Damn! "I'm meant to be meeting Chloe at the Torch, but right now, I'm just not in the mood to discuss livestock husbandry."

"Just go see her at the end of the day, I'm sure she won't mind. Even if she does, I'm sure she'll forgive you soon enough, Clark." Pete cocked an eyebrow at Clark as he stepped towards the door and a new sexual identity as Clark Kent's 'best friend'. The halls were deserted as they left.

"I guess so." Does Pete say anything that isn't laced with innuendo? "I think I'll just hang out in the Library 'til Lunch."

- Library -

So, lets think this through calmly. Clark can run like the wind - literally, see through stuff and is the embodiment of the saying, 'the heat of passion'. Red meteor rocks ruined our date, so I'm presuming Pete meant that red rocks made Clark kiss Chloe (there really is no other logical explanation for their kissage anyway), cos seeing your date make out with a girl with badger striped hair sure is a turn off.

I think I'm missing the main point here. why am I in Clark's body in the first place? How did I get here, and more importantly, how do I get back? Not that this isn't a nice body to take up residence in, certainly not, but I kind of miss having breasts. and not having to whip it out whenever I need the toilet. I bet Clark did this, he always manages to do something stupid, it was Clark's fault I'm sure. I can't even begin to try and figure this out until I talk to him, or should I say her?

The only responsible thing to do at this point is to try to figure out how to control Clark's powers, at least then I won't expose Clark along with everything else, not that he doesn't deserve a little public ridicule now and again. Maybe it isn't such a great idea to practice fire starting in a Library full of books though. Plus sitting in flannel with an old lady librarian staring at you is not very conducive to naughty thoughts, non- sexy thoughts, definitely, but sexy? No. I've pretty much got running down, so I guess that only leaves one thing.

Lana bends down, picks up Clark's bag and places it on the desk infront of her. To the casual onlooker it would appear that Clark Kent had not been eating nearly enough fibre recently.

Seeing through stuff really is as hard as you would imagine. Practice makes perfect, they say, so practice it is.

- 30 mins later -

Lana let out another short burst of laughter, she was scanning the various students' bags and with every new discovery, she received an angry glare from the hawk-eyed librarian. Her eyes moved across to a couple sat behind some stacks, the guy obviously trying to cop a feel whilst doing his American History homework. Lana scanned down and saw the guy's wallet, complete with little foil packet, as the girl shrunk away from his pathetic attempts at foreplay. Hah! That is sooo not happening buddy! Lana let out an incredulous snicker as the girl finally got up and frisbeed a book into the stunned guy's face, storming out of the Library, her now ex- boyfriend in tow.

The bell rang signalling the start of Clark's lunch period. The time has come to finally confront Clark and see if we can get this whole charade over and done with. Lana got up and made her way to the canteen, mentally preparing herself for what promised to be a very interesting conversation.

Upon her entrance, she immediately saw her body sat facing the other way on the far side of the room.