Disclaimer: I do not own squaresoft, Squaresoft does(does that mean that if turned into a soft square I would become rich???) I also have nothing to do with mcdonalds or Chilis except for liking their food, mmmm.... Big Mac with baby Back Ribs. I also do not own N'SYNC or Hanson(thank god) and I wish they would die a horrible death. Also, All character names used are not intended to be that actual person(just in case) And if I die in the middle of writing this, I leave my Dreamcast to........
Anyway, onward to the horrible story!!!!!
Name Change!!! Author Yuffies evil side has changed their pen name to Cids Turtle, May a monkey named Jojo help us all!!!
Turtle: Where we left our heroes, they had just left To go save Nibbleham from the Squirral invasion in which Vincint is leading......
Tifa: Get him!!!!(everyone charges and tackles Turtle) You have turned us into people we aren't!!! Now we will do the same for you!!!!(pile disapates)
Turtle is seen there, he now is a flea, red XIII walks up and eats him
Red XIII: mmmmm, cherry flavered.....
Now for the story....
Everybody rushes into Nibbleham, boss music begins to play
Tifa: We can't take 'em all, only go for the leader!!!
Barret: But FF7's battle system can't handle a battle like that where you keep on going though them until a boss!!!!
Cid: Yeah, we need FFX stuff to do that!!!!
Music changes to FFX boss music, as does the graphics
Red XIII: Better
Everybody charges into the scene, battle begins
Yuffie: AHHHHH!!!! I can't get used to the turn based battle system, I'm to used to the ATB!!!!(Squirrals rush over and engulf her) Oh, my eyes!!! Not the eyes!!!!(they change to neck) phew, better...
Tifa: God damn, that music is really getting annoying!!!
Red XIII: One sec(walks off screen calmly, men screaming are heard)
Man 1: Ahhh!!!! I can't find my liver!!! Wheres my liver!!!!
Man 2: AHHH!!!! Wheres my heart!!! My Heart!!!
Red XIII walks back onto screen, holding a bag in hand of various organs he took, he hodls it over his head, and drops it on top of his head.
Red XIII: Mmmmm, that sure was worth it, I haven't had a good blood bath since I gave that old guy a triple bypass. mmmmm....
A strange man named strike and another one named Criosphinx walk onto screen
Both: We Will Help
Camera moves, Red XII voice is heard
Red XIII: They don't just call me red due to my fur....
Screaming heard
Strike: My Jugular!!!!
Criosphinx: My Brain!!!!
Both die, Red XIII rolls around in their carcasses
The battle rages on....
Tifa: I can't handle them, too many are going after my upper body!!!
Cid: I can see why, he he he...
Barret: This is no time to be thinking about that!!! we need to think about food!!!
Cid: (Smacks hand in face, his brute strenth knocks him out)
Barret: Speaking of Food, Where's Sephiroth, he was at Mcdonalds last I checked...
Sephiroth flies in on a magic Jalapeno, now dresses in a Chili's employee uniform
Sephiroth: Have no fear!!! Sephiroth is here!!!!
Cloud: CHOO CHOO!!!! Chuga chuga chuga chuga WHOOO WHOOOO!!!!!(train noises) I'm driving a spaceship!!!!
Barret: Greattttt, just what we need...
Sephiroth: I shall defeat alll the squirral with this!!!!(reaches down to pull out soemthing from where sword normally is, he pulls out a pan)
Sephiroth: I have learned the culinary skills of making Chilis baby back Ribs!!! I will cook all of you Squirrals, and to get me in the mood, I have brought in N'SYNC to sing the baby back ribs theme!!!!
N'SYNC: I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs, I want my baby back, baby back rins. CHILIS baby back ribs, barbeque sauce!!!!!
Red XIII: Die!!!!! (Charges into them, High pitched screaming occurs, all us haters of them cheer wildly, for all those who like them, you shouldn't be reading this...)
Sephiroth: Bring in the back ups!!!!
Hanson walks in, everybody screams with horror
Hanson: mmmm bop do die do wop, yeah yeah, mm-
Barret empties gun on them
Barret: Die, all of you!!! Die You made my marlene have a sex change!!!!
Hanson 1: My only... Regret.... is not telling them..... I actually am...... a girl.......
Sephiroth: mmmm.... hanson..... AH, die, all of you!!!!!(begins pounding squirrals on head with pan)
30 minutes later.....
Sephiroth: Ah, 97 batches of baby back ribs, everybody, dig in!!!!(townspeople also dig in)
20 minutes later...
Sephiroth: Did you enjoy that??? Well it will be your last meal becasue I poisoned your portions!!!!(points at heros) Mwa ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Tifa: Points over to side of townspeople
Sephiroth: AW S#$%(all people are dead)
Sephiroth: Damn you, now I must finsih off Aeris's body!!!(somehow flies off)
Barret: Since when did he have wings????
Tifa: We have to follow him in the highwind!!!! Cid is it working!!!???
Cid: (Walking out of shop) Yeah, just give me a minute, The Dark matter engine was jammed up so I'm detonating a small A-bomb to un jamm it, no prblems, okay???
Tifa: Cid you Stupid Dumb ASS!!!!!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!
Find out what happens next time on the adventures of N'SYNC, I mean, Cloud's sanity, I mean, ah F$%^ it, tune in for the next chapter in my demented story!!!!
Anyway, onward to the horrible story!!!!!
Name Change!!! Author Yuffies evil side has changed their pen name to Cids Turtle, May a monkey named Jojo help us all!!!
Turtle: Where we left our heroes, they had just left To go save Nibbleham from the Squirral invasion in which Vincint is leading......
Tifa: Get him!!!!(everyone charges and tackles Turtle) You have turned us into people we aren't!!! Now we will do the same for you!!!!(pile disapates)
Turtle is seen there, he now is a flea, red XIII walks up and eats him
Red XIII: mmmmm, cherry flavered.....
Now for the story....
Everybody rushes into Nibbleham, boss music begins to play
Tifa: We can't take 'em all, only go for the leader!!!
Barret: But FF7's battle system can't handle a battle like that where you keep on going though them until a boss!!!!
Cid: Yeah, we need FFX stuff to do that!!!!
Music changes to FFX boss music, as does the graphics
Red XIII: Better
Everybody charges into the scene, battle begins
Yuffie: AHHHHH!!!! I can't get used to the turn based battle system, I'm to used to the ATB!!!!(Squirrals rush over and engulf her) Oh, my eyes!!! Not the eyes!!!!(they change to neck) phew, better...
Tifa: God damn, that music is really getting annoying!!!
Red XIII: One sec(walks off screen calmly, men screaming are heard)
Man 1: Ahhh!!!! I can't find my liver!!! Wheres my liver!!!!
Man 2: AHHH!!!! Wheres my heart!!! My Heart!!!
Red XIII walks back onto screen, holding a bag in hand of various organs he took, he hodls it over his head, and drops it on top of his head.
Red XIII: Mmmmm, that sure was worth it, I haven't had a good blood bath since I gave that old guy a triple bypass. mmmmm....
A strange man named strike and another one named Criosphinx walk onto screen
Both: We Will Help
Camera moves, Red XII voice is heard
Red XIII: They don't just call me red due to my fur....
Screaming heard
Strike: My Jugular!!!!
Criosphinx: My Brain!!!!
Both die, Red XIII rolls around in their carcasses
The battle rages on....
Tifa: I can't handle them, too many are going after my upper body!!!
Cid: I can see why, he he he...
Barret: This is no time to be thinking about that!!! we need to think about food!!!
Cid: (Smacks hand in face, his brute strenth knocks him out)
Barret: Speaking of Food, Where's Sephiroth, he was at Mcdonalds last I checked...
Sephiroth flies in on a magic Jalapeno, now dresses in a Chili's employee uniform
Sephiroth: Have no fear!!! Sephiroth is here!!!!
Cloud: CHOO CHOO!!!! Chuga chuga chuga chuga WHOOO WHOOOO!!!!!(train noises) I'm driving a spaceship!!!!
Barret: Greattttt, just what we need...
Sephiroth: I shall defeat alll the squirral with this!!!!(reaches down to pull out soemthing from where sword normally is, he pulls out a pan)
Sephiroth: I have learned the culinary skills of making Chilis baby back Ribs!!! I will cook all of you Squirrals, and to get me in the mood, I have brought in N'SYNC to sing the baby back ribs theme!!!!
N'SYNC: I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs, I want my baby back, baby back rins. CHILIS baby back ribs, barbeque sauce!!!!!
Red XIII: Die!!!!! (Charges into them, High pitched screaming occurs, all us haters of them cheer wildly, for all those who like them, you shouldn't be reading this...)
Sephiroth: Bring in the back ups!!!!
Hanson walks in, everybody screams with horror
Hanson: mmmm bop do die do wop, yeah yeah, mm-
Barret empties gun on them
Barret: Die, all of you!!! Die You made my marlene have a sex change!!!!
Hanson 1: My only... Regret.... is not telling them..... I actually am...... a girl.......
Sephiroth: mmmm.... hanson..... AH, die, all of you!!!!!(begins pounding squirrals on head with pan)
30 minutes later.....
Sephiroth: Ah, 97 batches of baby back ribs, everybody, dig in!!!!(townspeople also dig in)
20 minutes later...
Sephiroth: Did you enjoy that??? Well it will be your last meal becasue I poisoned your portions!!!!(points at heros) Mwa ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Tifa: Points over to side of townspeople
Sephiroth: AW S#$%(all people are dead)
Sephiroth: Damn you, now I must finsih off Aeris's body!!!(somehow flies off)
Barret: Since when did he have wings????
Tifa: We have to follow him in the highwind!!!! Cid is it working!!!???
Cid: (Walking out of shop) Yeah, just give me a minute, The Dark matter engine was jammed up so I'm detonating a small A-bomb to un jamm it, no prblems, okay???
Tifa: Cid you Stupid Dumb ASS!!!!!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!
Find out what happens next time on the adventures of N'SYNC, I mean, Cloud's sanity, I mean, ah F$%^ it, tune in for the next chapter in my demented story!!!!
