Disclaimer: I do not own squareosft or sony, DAMN!!!!! I also do not own anything else I use in this fic becasue I am getting really annoyed about righting these F$%^in disclaimers, I hope I don't go over the edge, or Someone might have to call upon the Afro hero justice leauge to stop me, Turtle Head hurt now, BRAGGH!!!!!!!!!
Turtle: Okay, now, that was some really messed up s#$% that I just wrote. SO, in the last chapter, a war seems to be breaking out of people trying to stop the story while others seem to be trying to keep it going. Soon, mercinaries from all over Fanfiction.net will be here, trying to help win the war!!! oh, yeah... With the other guys, the plane just crashed, Everrybody is near their goal, but can they beat Sephiroth??? Also, what ever happened to Squirral Vincint???
Back in the ruins of Nibbleham, famous for nibble sized bits of ham.....
Vincintsquirral:(huh??? What the hell happend here, did we win, did we lose, do I have an afro?? Did bugenhagen marry me?? sigh... so many unanswered questions. WHYYYY!!!!! Lucredicia!!! WHY!!!!! WHY did you leave me!!!!
basically, Vincint has an emotional breakdown... mmmm...... break it down......
Vincint:(NOW I"M REALLY MAD FOR ABSOLUTLY NO REASON AT ALL!!!!)limit break occurs, sending him his human form
Vincint: hmmmmm...(walks off into distence with gun over shoulder, the sun sets in front of him. Western music starts playing, he holds his gun out to one side and fires, the noise quickly becomes a slow, loud farting noise which is subdued with another shot)
Back at the continent which has no name....
Cid: AHHHH!!!!! Holy Mother F%^&*$ S$#@ This things going down!!!!
Cloud: This is just like sitting down on a couch!!!
Tifa: Oh my god, one of us has to live so they can use a pheniox down!!!!
Cid: dibbs on the parachute!!!!(grabs it and jumps off) S^%$, this was my fake in case anyone ever did that to me!!!!
Barret:(grabs other parachute, points gun at everyone) Saty the hell away form it!!!
Cloud twitches
BLAM!!!! BLAM!!!!!!!! BLAM!!!! BLAM!!!!
Barret: See ya!!!(he jumps and pulls chute)
Tifa: NOOOO!!!!!!
Cloud:(in cowboy voice) I just wish I had time for one last bowl of Chili.....
BOOOMMMM!!!!!!
in the distence.....
Stevan:(this is an author who has asked to be a part of this story) Oh nooo..... Aeris could've been on that plane. MY LIFE IS RUINED!!!!! NOOOO!!!!!!(rushes off into distence, once tripping over his massive broadswoard, his requested weapon)
five minutes later....
Barret: Now to revive the last person, well, cat, Red XIII.(uses pheniox down)
Cid: uhhh, guys, we have a problem.
Tifa: yeah, what is it???
Cid: Back in Nibbleham when we got the FFX battle thang going, we got this battle system generator..
Tifa: WHAT!!!!!
Cid: Yeah, it holds up what kind of a battle you would use in that world. Well, its been st to random every 20 minutes in the crash.
Tifa: How long ago did we crash!!!???
Cid: 19 minutes ago
Barret: SH&^ we'd better get ready for anything, even Sephiroth having a Mohawk!!!
Red XIII: That has absolutly nothing to do with battle, you realize.
Barret: AHHHHH SHUT UP!!!!!
Takes offf gun arm and throws at him. Red XIII's neck breaks
Red XIII: El Gato Pego su pata en el enchufe electrico......
Cid: ?????
Barret: I am fluent in spanish thanks to this online dictionary!!!!(holds up) What he just said means the cat stuck its paw in the electric socket!!!
Tifa: Why would he say that??
Barret:(beating Red XIII head now with gun) to take his mind off the pain!!!!
Cid: If you break your neck....
Barret: oh...
Tifa: guys, we need to stop killing everyone, we only have two pheniox downs left, and one's for Aeris!!!
Barret: Finee....(kicks ground lightly) one sec....(Pulls out rope and ties Red XIII up to a tree, uses gun arm as a bat and uses Red XIII as a pinata) Where's the candy Bitch!!!!! Where is it!!!!!
a few minutes later...
Barret: all done(Red XII's body is a big glob of guts all over the ground) I was in the zone..... oh yeah!!!!
Tifa: whatever(uses pheniox down)
Red XIII: Cid, what battle system are we using now??
Cid: it says FF8
Barret:It's not that differnt form this one, right???
Tifa: i dunno, never used it..
Suddenly, a group of theivces jump out from the bushes.
Theif 1:(singing) We will take all of your possesions
Theif 2:(singing) even all your clothes
Theif 3:(singing) If you resist we will kill you at the hands of these.....(everyone pulls out a cutlass at the same time)
Theif 4:(singing) If you go peacefully we shall let you live....
all thieves:(singing) We call ourselves the.... RIVER THIEVES!!!!! break it dowwwwnnnnn!!!!!(all grab hands and start square dancing..... wait.... I mean riverdancing.....wait, I mean gay dancing.... Wait..... Breakdancing..... AH, just think of any god damn dance ya want!!!)
Theif 1: Attack!!!!!
Battle ensues
Barret: ARRGHH!!!! My attacks, they do nothing, they do nothing!!!!
Cid: G Fu&^%$# F, what the F%$^ is a GF!!!!!
Tifa: why can't I tell when my limit breaks coming up!!!! Oh, wait, whats this right arrow, oh.... he he he he he he.....
ten minutes later....
Cid: Huh, we did to them what they said they would do to us.
Barret: What a strange world we live in....
at a beach near Rocket town.....
Yuffies legs have washed up on shore, a short distence away is her body. Vincint randomly walks into scene.
Vincint: HUh??? where the hell am I? I was buying a double whopper at the rocket Town Burger King a second ago...(sees Yuffies Body split in two.)hmmmm.....
ten minutes later..
Yuffie: Sewing me up like that was really painful you know!!!!(she slaps him in the face)
Vincint: I could just kill you(points gun at her face)
yuffie: No, no, thats okay....
they walk off in direction of rocket town, Yuffie begging Vincint for some materia.
At turtle hideout, somewhere in either the real world or FF.net, the exact place cannot be named........
Turtle: hmmmm..... They seem to be moving ahead no matter what minor obsticles I have fireball throw at them. I need some time to think. hmmm.... I'll need pizza, lots of pizza. Guard, call Dominos!!!
guard: You blew the place up sir
Turtle: Round Table
Guard: You hated their prices so much you made mosotov cocktail using gas tanks with money and blew the place up.
turtle: Papa Murpheys?
Guard: You found the pizza cold, sir, ytou used liquid nitrogen on their stores
turtle: Pizza Hut???
Guard: You went on a murderous rampage after discobering it didn't look like a hut at all....
Turtle: Well, what the hells left!!!!
Guard: Chicago Pizza
turtle: Oh dear god!!! NOOOO!!!! The horror, the horror!!!!!! I'll just make my own. Guard make me some pizza.
Guard: errrr.... right, right away sir!!!
Guard storms off
Turtle: excellent....
back in the creepy ass world!!!!(ff7)
Cid: Lets hurrry up and get to the forgotten capital(everyone runs off)
Back in Rocket town, night has settled in....
Scene just shows a window in the inn, loud banging nosies heard from inside.
?????1: Stay away form me!!!
????2?: Why did you try that you idiot!!!!
??????1: I have an obsession with them!!!!
??????2: You should know better than to try it!!!
??????1: Bu-
Window where camera is breaks, Yuffie flies though and lands on her back. Vincint appears at window.
Vincint: Never, ever, try to touch my materia, ya theif!!!!
Yuffie: I've never been rejected from materia like that in my life......sob.....
Anyway, a little while later at the entrance to the forgotten capital.....
Cid: uhhh.... guys.... the battle system is changing again....
Tifa: Now what?
Cid: It's changed to Legend of Legaia. never heard of it.
Cloud: I once shoved a Cd up my ass to see what would happen
Barret: rigghhhttt... well, lets just get in there(walsk forward)
Lots of people jump in from out of nowhere
guy 1: You beat some of us up earlier, now you're gonna pay!!!!
Battle theme starts, this time it's the Legend of Legaia one(if you've nevber played it before, the next part will make no sense at all, for those of you who have,enjoy!!!)
Barret: I choose what I wan to attack with, what the hell is this!!!!????
Tifa: I think I got the hang of it!!!(Miracle art ensues) Try comboing differnt moves
Red XIII: I can only attack with my bite, sob.... this battle system sucks for us cats... sob....
Cid: Ra-seru!!!! What the F%^&$% hell is a Ra-Seru!!!!!
Suddenly, a man with a massive swoard flashes around killing all who cross his path......
Oh my god!!!! The next chapter I put up could be the final one!!!! I could actually bring this story to some sort of a conclusion!!!! Anyway, I'll put up cahpter nine at some point, and if you wanna be in the story, just e-mail me at tardytheturtle1@yahoo.com, and tell me your author name, a breif description of yourself, what weapon you would perfer to fight with, and what side of the author war you would like to be on. ANyway, see you readers around!!!
Authors final note: This S^&* ain't nowhere near over yet.
Turtle: Okay, now, that was some really messed up s#$% that I just wrote. SO, in the last chapter, a war seems to be breaking out of people trying to stop the story while others seem to be trying to keep it going. Soon, mercinaries from all over Fanfiction.net will be here, trying to help win the war!!! oh, yeah... With the other guys, the plane just crashed, Everrybody is near their goal, but can they beat Sephiroth??? Also, what ever happened to Squirral Vincint???
Back in the ruins of Nibbleham, famous for nibble sized bits of ham.....
Vincintsquirral:(huh??? What the hell happend here, did we win, did we lose, do I have an afro?? Did bugenhagen marry me?? sigh... so many unanswered questions. WHYYYY!!!!! Lucredicia!!! WHY!!!!! WHY did you leave me!!!!
basically, Vincint has an emotional breakdown... mmmm...... break it down......
Vincint:(NOW I"M REALLY MAD FOR ABSOLUTLY NO REASON AT ALL!!!!)limit break occurs, sending him his human form
Vincint: hmmmmm...(walks off into distence with gun over shoulder, the sun sets in front of him. Western music starts playing, he holds his gun out to one side and fires, the noise quickly becomes a slow, loud farting noise which is subdued with another shot)
Back at the continent which has no name....
Cid: AHHHH!!!!! Holy Mother F%^&*$ S$#@ This things going down!!!!
Cloud: This is just like sitting down on a couch!!!
Tifa: Oh my god, one of us has to live so they can use a pheniox down!!!!
Cid: dibbs on the parachute!!!!(grabs it and jumps off) S^%$, this was my fake in case anyone ever did that to me!!!!
Barret:(grabs other parachute, points gun at everyone) Saty the hell away form it!!!
Cloud twitches
BLAM!!!! BLAM!!!!!!!! BLAM!!!! BLAM!!!!
Barret: See ya!!!(he jumps and pulls chute)
Tifa: NOOOO!!!!!!
Cloud:(in cowboy voice) I just wish I had time for one last bowl of Chili.....
BOOOMMMM!!!!!!
in the distence.....
Stevan:(this is an author who has asked to be a part of this story) Oh nooo..... Aeris could've been on that plane. MY LIFE IS RUINED!!!!! NOOOO!!!!!!(rushes off into distence, once tripping over his massive broadswoard, his requested weapon)
five minutes later....
Barret: Now to revive the last person, well, cat, Red XIII.(uses pheniox down)
Cid: uhhh, guys, we have a problem.
Tifa: yeah, what is it???
Cid: Back in Nibbleham when we got the FFX battle thang going, we got this battle system generator..
Tifa: WHAT!!!!!
Cid: Yeah, it holds up what kind of a battle you would use in that world. Well, its been st to random every 20 minutes in the crash.
Tifa: How long ago did we crash!!!???
Cid: 19 minutes ago
Barret: SH&^ we'd better get ready for anything, even Sephiroth having a Mohawk!!!
Red XIII: That has absolutly nothing to do with battle, you realize.
Barret: AHHHHH SHUT UP!!!!!
Takes offf gun arm and throws at him. Red XIII's neck breaks
Red XIII: El Gato Pego su pata en el enchufe electrico......
Cid: ?????
Barret: I am fluent in spanish thanks to this online dictionary!!!!(holds up) What he just said means the cat stuck its paw in the electric socket!!!
Tifa: Why would he say that??
Barret:(beating Red XIII head now with gun) to take his mind off the pain!!!!
Cid: If you break your neck....
Barret: oh...
Tifa: guys, we need to stop killing everyone, we only have two pheniox downs left, and one's for Aeris!!!
Barret: Finee....(kicks ground lightly) one sec....(Pulls out rope and ties Red XIII up to a tree, uses gun arm as a bat and uses Red XIII as a pinata) Where's the candy Bitch!!!!! Where is it!!!!!
a few minutes later...
Barret: all done(Red XII's body is a big glob of guts all over the ground) I was in the zone..... oh yeah!!!!
Tifa: whatever(uses pheniox down)
Red XIII: Cid, what battle system are we using now??
Cid: it says FF8
Barret:It's not that differnt form this one, right???
Tifa: i dunno, never used it..
Suddenly, a group of theivces jump out from the bushes.
Theif 1:(singing) We will take all of your possesions
Theif 2:(singing) even all your clothes
Theif 3:(singing) If you resist we will kill you at the hands of these.....(everyone pulls out a cutlass at the same time)
Theif 4:(singing) If you go peacefully we shall let you live....
all thieves:(singing) We call ourselves the.... RIVER THIEVES!!!!! break it dowwwwnnnnn!!!!!(all grab hands and start square dancing..... wait.... I mean riverdancing.....wait, I mean gay dancing.... Wait..... Breakdancing..... AH, just think of any god damn dance ya want!!!)
Theif 1: Attack!!!!!
Battle ensues
Barret: ARRGHH!!!! My attacks, they do nothing, they do nothing!!!!
Cid: G Fu&^%$# F, what the F%$^ is a GF!!!!!
Tifa: why can't I tell when my limit breaks coming up!!!! Oh, wait, whats this right arrow, oh.... he he he he he he.....
ten minutes later....
Cid: Huh, we did to them what they said they would do to us.
Barret: What a strange world we live in....
at a beach near Rocket town.....
Yuffies legs have washed up on shore, a short distence away is her body. Vincint randomly walks into scene.
Vincint: HUh??? where the hell am I? I was buying a double whopper at the rocket Town Burger King a second ago...(sees Yuffies Body split in two.)hmmmm.....
ten minutes later..
Yuffie: Sewing me up like that was really painful you know!!!!(she slaps him in the face)
Vincint: I could just kill you(points gun at her face)
yuffie: No, no, thats okay....
they walk off in direction of rocket town, Yuffie begging Vincint for some materia.
At turtle hideout, somewhere in either the real world or FF.net, the exact place cannot be named........
Turtle: hmmmm..... They seem to be moving ahead no matter what minor obsticles I have fireball throw at them. I need some time to think. hmmm.... I'll need pizza, lots of pizza. Guard, call Dominos!!!
guard: You blew the place up sir
Turtle: Round Table
Guard: You hated their prices so much you made mosotov cocktail using gas tanks with money and blew the place up.
turtle: Papa Murpheys?
Guard: You found the pizza cold, sir, ytou used liquid nitrogen on their stores
turtle: Pizza Hut???
Guard: You went on a murderous rampage after discobering it didn't look like a hut at all....
Turtle: Well, what the hells left!!!!
Guard: Chicago Pizza
turtle: Oh dear god!!! NOOOO!!!! The horror, the horror!!!!!! I'll just make my own. Guard make me some pizza.
Guard: errrr.... right, right away sir!!!
Guard storms off
Turtle: excellent....
back in the creepy ass world!!!!(ff7)
Cid: Lets hurrry up and get to the forgotten capital(everyone runs off)
Back in Rocket town, night has settled in....
Scene just shows a window in the inn, loud banging nosies heard from inside.
?????1: Stay away form me!!!
????2?: Why did you try that you idiot!!!!
??????1: I have an obsession with them!!!!
??????2: You should know better than to try it!!!
??????1: Bu-
Window where camera is breaks, Yuffie flies though and lands on her back. Vincint appears at window.
Vincint: Never, ever, try to touch my materia, ya theif!!!!
Yuffie: I've never been rejected from materia like that in my life......sob.....
Anyway, a little while later at the entrance to the forgotten capital.....
Cid: uhhh.... guys.... the battle system is changing again....
Tifa: Now what?
Cid: It's changed to Legend of Legaia. never heard of it.
Cloud: I once shoved a Cd up my ass to see what would happen
Barret: rigghhhttt... well, lets just get in there(walsk forward)
Lots of people jump in from out of nowhere
guy 1: You beat some of us up earlier, now you're gonna pay!!!!
Battle theme starts, this time it's the Legend of Legaia one(if you've nevber played it before, the next part will make no sense at all, for those of you who have,enjoy!!!)
Barret: I choose what I wan to attack with, what the hell is this!!!!????
Tifa: I think I got the hang of it!!!(Miracle art ensues) Try comboing differnt moves
Red XIII: I can only attack with my bite, sob.... this battle system sucks for us cats... sob....
Cid: Ra-seru!!!! What the F%^&$% hell is a Ra-Seru!!!!!
Suddenly, a man with a massive swoard flashes around killing all who cross his path......
Oh my god!!!! The next chapter I put up could be the final one!!!! I could actually bring this story to some sort of a conclusion!!!! Anyway, I'll put up cahpter nine at some point, and if you wanna be in the story, just e-mail me at tardytheturtle1@yahoo.com, and tell me your author name, a breif description of yourself, what weapon you would perfer to fight with, and what side of the author war you would like to be on. ANyway, see you readers around!!!
Authors final note: This S^&* ain't nowhere near over yet.
