Disclaimer: oh the dreaded disclaimer.hehe I dun own a thing!
Pairing: Draco/Harry some Hermione/Ron
Chapter: 5/9 What have I done?
Author: Andrea (.Lady.of.the.stars.)
E-mail: Behrbrat224@aol.com
Beta: Aarynn! She is wonderful and it is because of her that I finished
this story and am ready to post it all over again! Sorry for you guys who
waited.*looks and sees nobody* ep.
Chapter 5: What have I done?
(Ron's POV)
I never thought I'd see the day when Harry Potter would look so completely dead, like the whole world was lost, or maybe, like he had just lost his whole world.
He just continues to stare at the door as if he can't believe this is happening, only it is. Slowly, he begins to walk to the door and I see him reach out for the handle, but before he gets there he collapses onto the ground and starts to pound his fist on the stone floor. Ouch, that must hurt, but that little pain must be nothing compared to the huge blow he just had, so he must not feel it. I step forward and reach a hand out to him, but he starts to pound on the door and sob.
"No, Draco! You can't do this to me, love, I love you!" He screams these words and suddenly my heart feels as if it is being slowly torn from it's place in my chest. He whispers: "I love you." and slumps down. The strength is gone from him.
I walk slowly over to Harry and sit next to him. I just watch him, wondering what to do. Now, I am no stranger to comfort and sympathy. My brothers and mother always had plenty of hugs and kisses to make me feel better. But right now, I think the only thing Harry wants is Draco back in his arms, and that is just something I can't give him.
"Harry?" I whisper, afraid that if I speak too loudly he will break.
"Hmm?"
"Let's head to the common room, mate. You can clean up and we can figure out what to do."
He shakes his head and looks up. I see his face is covered in tears, his eyes are red and his lips pouty.
"No."
"No? Why?"
"Hermione is most likely there, and I don't want to see her right now."
"Harry, this isn't her fault!"
"Whose fucking fault is it then, Ron?"
I back away as he punches the door once more.
"Whose fucking fault is it? Tell me!" He shouts once more.
"I."
"Cause I would really like to know who I can blame for all this."
I look away from him and stare into space. Whose fault is it? Was it mine? Hermione's? Harry's? Draco's? I don't know. How the bloody hell am I supposed to know? All I know is that a year ago, Harry started getting distant and in that time he started shagging his arch nemesis and since we couldn't get to him we all started to drift.
"I don't know." I say with an exasperated sigh.
"Leave me alone."
"What?"
"Leave. I want to be alone."
I frown and stand up, knowing that is not what he said "Look, Harry, I know you are upset, but you can't get angry and push us all away; this is how it all began."
"So I suppose this is my fault? Is that what you are saying, Weasley?" I growl in fury, step over him, and walk out, slamming the door behind me. I walk to the end of the hall and kick the wall.
"Shit!" I growl in pain. This was not supposed to happen. I frown and walk back to the tower door. I shouldn't leave him like this, he just lost the guy he loves, for Merlin's sake. I reach for the door, but I hear someone talking on the inside.
"I'm sorry, Ron, you sodding bastard. I'm sorry, OKAY!" I hear something hit the wall, his fist most likely. "I'm sorry for not telling you what was wrong, I'm sorry for not talking to you, IM FUCKING SORRY FOR FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY ENEMY! THERE ARE YOU HAPPY?" I frown and reach for the door once more, pushing it open and rushing in.
I don't know what I am thinking as I run in, drop to the floor, and wrap Harry up in a hug the same kind Percy used to give me when Fred and George would play tricks on me. I feel Harry tense at first, then I feel him loosen up, wrap his arms around me, and his hot tears roll down my neck.
"I'm sorry, Harry. I am so sorry."
"No, Ron, I'm sorry. It's not your fault, and it's not Hermione's. I just. I can't. it hurts so much and I don't think I can handle it. I need him."
I rub his back and close my eyes. I feel hurt, sad, and betrayed. Hurt, because it is Draco he wants more than anyone when it used to be me. Sad, because I have hurt him so much. And betrayed, because at that same moment that Harry and I needed Hermione the most, she was not there.
"Look, Harry, let's go."
"No. I want to stay here. Maybe he'll come back."
I nod and pull away from him. I stand up and head to the door.
"I'll wait up for you."
"Don't bother."
I walk out and close the door softly. This was not supposed to happen. Who would have thought that Hermione would have bailed on Harry and I like that? I mean, seriously, she is the level-headed, rational one. I have always been the one to get all bothered and mess everything up. There is only one thing to do. Confront her.
~*~*~*~*~*
"Hermione?"
I see her laying there just like she used to do in fifth year. So, she came to her favorite spot, her thinking spot, as she calls it. I remember her telling me how this was the one spot you could see the moon through the trees. It was surprising, seeing her here during the day. This was her night spot. This was the spot where I first told her I loved her.
"Yes?" I walk over and look down at her lying figure. She closes her eyes as if she does not want to see me.
"We need to talk."
"Now you want to talk?"
I sigh and drop down next to her.
"Hermione, you are not being fair."
"And I suppose you not telling me about Harry and that prick is fair?"
"It was not my secret to tell."
"Sod off, Ron."
"Hermione, please listen. Harry needs you."
"He has Malfoy, he doesn't need me. And he doesn't need you."
I growl at her stubborn ways and stand up.
"Granger, you are really pissing me off."
I hear her laugh as she opens her eyes and looks at me.
"You have not said that since you asked me out in fifth year."
"Well, this is the first time since then that you have acted horribly."
"Ron, do you really think I am acting that horrible?"
"Seeing how you just treated your best friend, yes."
I walk to a nearby tree and sit up against it. How can she act so calm when our friend is in the tower, his heart breaking. I close my eyes and put my head down, run my hand through my hair, and sigh. This is not going to be easy. Suddenly, I hear someone next to me.
I glance up and see Hermione lowering herself to sit next to me. She puts her lips on my head and kisses me softly. I smile and caress her hand.
"I am scared Ron."
"Why?"
"What if Malfoy is using Harry like he used me? You don't know how he is, Ron. He is charming beyond your wildest dreams. He can make you forget about everything. You know me. I would never allow anyone, not even you, to get me drunk, but somehow he got past my barrier. Him, Malfoy! How the hell did he do that?"
I look at her and I see tears start to well up in her eyes. I feel my bottom lip trembling. She has always wanted to be strong, so how could a guy like Malfoy make her feel so weak?
"Hermione, you should have seen how Malfoy treated Harry. I don't think he will treat him like that. He seemed real. I saw a private moment shared between them, they were so gentle towards one another. They seemed right."
"But."
"Shh, it's okay." I put a finger up to her mouth and kiss her forehead softly. "I understand what you are trying to say, but hear me out. Give him a chance, Hermione. For Harry, give him a chance. At least get to know him better, then if he is an arse, we can kill him."
I feel Hermione pull away. She narrows her eyes and glares at me.
"Why are you so accepting of this? You're, well don't take this the wrong way, but you are usually the self-absorbed bastard."
"Thanks." I say, sarcasm dripping in my voice.
"Look, it's true."
"Well, why are you so against it? Just because Draco played a trick on you?"
"Well, yes, but you act as if he just hung my knickers on the Christmas tree."
"I know, but you act as if he killed your family."
"I'm sure he is capable of it."
"Hermione, please? Please just come up and apologize to Harry?"
"Only if I can do it in private. No Malfoys allowed."
I frown and stand up, holding my hand out to her.
"Didn't I tell you? Malfoy broke up with Harry."
"What? Why? I told you that arse could not be trusted."
"Because he told Harry he didn't want to be the cause of a broken up friendship."
"Bollocks."
"I am serious."
"But, then, where is Harry?"
"In the tower. He refused to come out."
"He really loves him, doesn't he?"
I nod. Hermione shudders and looks away. A few minutes later, I hear her sobbing.
"Hermione?"
"Oh, Ron." She throws herself onto me in a great hug. Her arms are thrown around my neck, clinging to me as if there is no tomorrow. "What have I done?"
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Chapter 5: What have I done?
(Ron's POV)
I never thought I'd see the day when Harry Potter would look so completely dead, like the whole world was lost, or maybe, like he had just lost his whole world.
He just continues to stare at the door as if he can't believe this is happening, only it is. Slowly, he begins to walk to the door and I see him reach out for the handle, but before he gets there he collapses onto the ground and starts to pound his fist on the stone floor. Ouch, that must hurt, but that little pain must be nothing compared to the huge blow he just had, so he must not feel it. I step forward and reach a hand out to him, but he starts to pound on the door and sob.
"No, Draco! You can't do this to me, love, I love you!" He screams these words and suddenly my heart feels as if it is being slowly torn from it's place in my chest. He whispers: "I love you." and slumps down. The strength is gone from him.
I walk slowly over to Harry and sit next to him. I just watch him, wondering what to do. Now, I am no stranger to comfort and sympathy. My brothers and mother always had plenty of hugs and kisses to make me feel better. But right now, I think the only thing Harry wants is Draco back in his arms, and that is just something I can't give him.
"Harry?" I whisper, afraid that if I speak too loudly he will break.
"Hmm?"
"Let's head to the common room, mate. You can clean up and we can figure out what to do."
He shakes his head and looks up. I see his face is covered in tears, his eyes are red and his lips pouty.
"No."
"No? Why?"
"Hermione is most likely there, and I don't want to see her right now."
"Harry, this isn't her fault!"
"Whose fucking fault is it then, Ron?"
I back away as he punches the door once more.
"Whose fucking fault is it? Tell me!" He shouts once more.
"I."
"Cause I would really like to know who I can blame for all this."
I look away from him and stare into space. Whose fault is it? Was it mine? Hermione's? Harry's? Draco's? I don't know. How the bloody hell am I supposed to know? All I know is that a year ago, Harry started getting distant and in that time he started shagging his arch nemesis and since we couldn't get to him we all started to drift.
"I don't know." I say with an exasperated sigh.
"Leave me alone."
"What?"
"Leave. I want to be alone."
I frown and stand up, knowing that is not what he said "Look, Harry, I know you are upset, but you can't get angry and push us all away; this is how it all began."
"So I suppose this is my fault? Is that what you are saying, Weasley?" I growl in fury, step over him, and walk out, slamming the door behind me. I walk to the end of the hall and kick the wall.
"Shit!" I growl in pain. This was not supposed to happen. I frown and walk back to the tower door. I shouldn't leave him like this, he just lost the guy he loves, for Merlin's sake. I reach for the door, but I hear someone talking on the inside.
"I'm sorry, Ron, you sodding bastard. I'm sorry, OKAY!" I hear something hit the wall, his fist most likely. "I'm sorry for not telling you what was wrong, I'm sorry for not talking to you, IM FUCKING SORRY FOR FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY ENEMY! THERE ARE YOU HAPPY?" I frown and reach for the door once more, pushing it open and rushing in.
I don't know what I am thinking as I run in, drop to the floor, and wrap Harry up in a hug the same kind Percy used to give me when Fred and George would play tricks on me. I feel Harry tense at first, then I feel him loosen up, wrap his arms around me, and his hot tears roll down my neck.
"I'm sorry, Harry. I am so sorry."
"No, Ron, I'm sorry. It's not your fault, and it's not Hermione's. I just. I can't. it hurts so much and I don't think I can handle it. I need him."
I rub his back and close my eyes. I feel hurt, sad, and betrayed. Hurt, because it is Draco he wants more than anyone when it used to be me. Sad, because I have hurt him so much. And betrayed, because at that same moment that Harry and I needed Hermione the most, she was not there.
"Look, Harry, let's go."
"No. I want to stay here. Maybe he'll come back."
I nod and pull away from him. I stand up and head to the door.
"I'll wait up for you."
"Don't bother."
I walk out and close the door softly. This was not supposed to happen. Who would have thought that Hermione would have bailed on Harry and I like that? I mean, seriously, she is the level-headed, rational one. I have always been the one to get all bothered and mess everything up. There is only one thing to do. Confront her.
~*~*~*~*~*
"Hermione?"
I see her laying there just like she used to do in fifth year. So, she came to her favorite spot, her thinking spot, as she calls it. I remember her telling me how this was the one spot you could see the moon through the trees. It was surprising, seeing her here during the day. This was her night spot. This was the spot where I first told her I loved her.
"Yes?" I walk over and look down at her lying figure. She closes her eyes as if she does not want to see me.
"We need to talk."
"Now you want to talk?"
I sigh and drop down next to her.
"Hermione, you are not being fair."
"And I suppose you not telling me about Harry and that prick is fair?"
"It was not my secret to tell."
"Sod off, Ron."
"Hermione, please listen. Harry needs you."
"He has Malfoy, he doesn't need me. And he doesn't need you."
I growl at her stubborn ways and stand up.
"Granger, you are really pissing me off."
I hear her laugh as she opens her eyes and looks at me.
"You have not said that since you asked me out in fifth year."
"Well, this is the first time since then that you have acted horribly."
"Ron, do you really think I am acting that horrible?"
"Seeing how you just treated your best friend, yes."
I walk to a nearby tree and sit up against it. How can she act so calm when our friend is in the tower, his heart breaking. I close my eyes and put my head down, run my hand through my hair, and sigh. This is not going to be easy. Suddenly, I hear someone next to me.
I glance up and see Hermione lowering herself to sit next to me. She puts her lips on my head and kisses me softly. I smile and caress her hand.
"I am scared Ron."
"Why?"
"What if Malfoy is using Harry like he used me? You don't know how he is, Ron. He is charming beyond your wildest dreams. He can make you forget about everything. You know me. I would never allow anyone, not even you, to get me drunk, but somehow he got past my barrier. Him, Malfoy! How the hell did he do that?"
I look at her and I see tears start to well up in her eyes. I feel my bottom lip trembling. She has always wanted to be strong, so how could a guy like Malfoy make her feel so weak?
"Hermione, you should have seen how Malfoy treated Harry. I don't think he will treat him like that. He seemed real. I saw a private moment shared between them, they were so gentle towards one another. They seemed right."
"But."
"Shh, it's okay." I put a finger up to her mouth and kiss her forehead softly. "I understand what you are trying to say, but hear me out. Give him a chance, Hermione. For Harry, give him a chance. At least get to know him better, then if he is an arse, we can kill him."
I feel Hermione pull away. She narrows her eyes and glares at me.
"Why are you so accepting of this? You're, well don't take this the wrong way, but you are usually the self-absorbed bastard."
"Thanks." I say, sarcasm dripping in my voice.
"Look, it's true."
"Well, why are you so against it? Just because Draco played a trick on you?"
"Well, yes, but you act as if he just hung my knickers on the Christmas tree."
"I know, but you act as if he killed your family."
"I'm sure he is capable of it."
"Hermione, please? Please just come up and apologize to Harry?"
"Only if I can do it in private. No Malfoys allowed."
I frown and stand up, holding my hand out to her.
"Didn't I tell you? Malfoy broke up with Harry."
"What? Why? I told you that arse could not be trusted."
"Because he told Harry he didn't want to be the cause of a broken up friendship."
"Bollocks."
"I am serious."
"But, then, where is Harry?"
"In the tower. He refused to come out."
"He really loves him, doesn't he?"
I nod. Hermione shudders and looks away. A few minutes later, I hear her sobbing.
"Hermione?"
"Oh, Ron." She throws herself onto me in a great hug. Her arms are thrown around my neck, clinging to me as if there is no tomorrow. "What have I done?"
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