Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with anything, all I ever do is sit in the dark little corner of my room fearing the world around me. I might also eat, I don't know yet. If you believe I am insane, that's probably true. I can't write funny disclaimers anymore. : (

Important thangs!!!!!

Criosphinx has changed his name to Phuzz

Cinnamon chaos will be in this chapter

Is Cid's Turtle a boy or a girl!!!????

uhhh. yeah, let's move on to the story......

On the northern continent, in the forgotten capital

Cid: What the F%$# was that!!! There was a flash of a sword and then nothing!!!!

Stevan:(holding broadsword over shoulder)That would be me(to be said in a calm voice)I killed them all. I am here to help you because.... well......(rushes up to barret) DO YOU THINK I CAN GET A DATE WITH AERIS IF I REVIVE HER!!!!!

Barret: no

Stevan: how about an autograph??

Barret: maybe

Stevan: how about a beating over the head with a sharp, blunt object??

Barret: Yeah, that's more like it....

Stevan: Anyyyyywayyy, I'll try to help you guys out(turns around, with massive sword, clubs everyone onto the ground)

Red XIII: I have a warm feeling inside of my head, could it be a vision???? No, wait.. it's a stroke.(thud)

Tifa: Greeeaaatttt, now how the hell are we gonna bring him back!!!???

Barret: YES!!!!!! a body to beat up!!!!(grabs body and rushes off the screen, loud thumping nosies heard)

Stevan: Well, I do have a pheniox down or two....

Cid: Gimme that!!!!!!(uses it on Red XIII)

Barret: Come on, we need something to beat up!!! I mean, hes the only one who won't use his damn level four limit break scroll.

Red XIII: I like my level threes....

Tifa: guys lets just go....

Barret: waaaiiittttttt, the new guy, he doesn't have limnit breaks!!! KILL!!!!!!

Tifa: NOOO!!!! BARRET STOP!!!!!! stevan is like Criophinx and strike, just hopefully a better fighter

Barret: oh

In the meantime, in rocket town.....

Vincint: We need to get across the ocean to the others.

Yuffie: But they took the plane!!!!

Vincint: Look, theres someone now!!!

they walk over to man

Vincint: can you get us to the northern continent???

Man: Well, I can shoot you out of this cannon here, you might make it, sorta depends weather or not ya skip when ya hit the the water

vincint: WH-(limit break runs out and vincint becomes a squirral again

Man: OH BOY!!!!! A Perfect Test specimen!!!!

man shoves vincint squirral into cannon

Man: Fire(war of 1812 stars playing) duh duh duh duh da duh da dah duh da!!!! BOOM!!!!

Vincint squirral flies off into the distence

Yuffie: No!!!!! Turtle!!! Don't make me sing it!!!!!

Yuffie puts hand up to chest

Yuffie: Oh say does that star spangled banner yetttt wwwaaavvveee, for the land of the free, and the homeeee of the gaaaayyyyy, I mean brave!!!!

At Turtle headquarters:

Turtle: Fireball, report!!!

Fireball: They seem to get past whatever doohickey I throw at them

Turtle: Have you been trying??

Fireball: no

Turtle: What have you been doing....

Fireball: Having drinking contests with toddlers, I always win wo it makes me feel good.....

Turtle: I'll motavate you with a random author search, this person will join you, so o outside, ytou will meet them in a moment.

Fireball: Okay.... I got a toddler and a few tequillas out there anyway

Turtle: Now to press the big red button to blow this place up, I means the green one to bring a random author here.(presses button)

beeping nosies occur, vivi appears

turtle: whoops, I pressed the wrong button

Vivi: NOOO!!!! don't make me go back there, I can make you happy!!!(snaps, hula music begin)

Vivi begins to hula

Vivi: akikiakanukkiayyyyyyy(I have no idea what the hell it means, or anything else, when I say it, it just sounds right)

Turtle: I can't send you back....

Vivi:(still hulaing)oh

snaps fingers agin, techno begins playing

Vivi: Break dance!!!!(begins head spin)

Turtle: lets try agin, pushes a differnt button, a man appears holding a staff

Turtle: BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!! That staff you hold is made for magic people who are women!!!!(points to pink staff)

?????: Shut up!!!!(casts stop)

Turtle:(holds up hand, reflects it)

Guard: sir, your pizza is re-(frozen)

Turtle: I need you to help a man in the hall, he is in my story and can't seem to prolong it very well, I need you to help.

Fireball:(from hall) I won't let a toddler outdrink me!!!!!-hic-

Turtle: Name???

?????: Cinnamon chaos

Turtle: Okay

Cinnamon: I'll help you on one condition.

Turtle: Namt it

Cinnamon: Afterwrads, I want you to get all the FF girls, tie them up, and put them in a room, with one shelf completly covered in differnt kinds of alcehol(he he, spelled wrong) Then, I want to walk up to Tifa, and

Turtle: don't want to hear this!!!!!!!

Cinnamon: Welll????

Turtle: fine, just go meet him

Fireball:(in hall) NOOOOO!!!!!!! He outdrank me!!!! I feel so useless!!!!! How could I lose!!!!!!!!

Turtle: pitiful......

Back at the forgotten capital

Tifa: this is it, we can revive Aeris...

Stevan: PLeasseee, let me use the pheniox down!!!!

Tifa: NO!!!!!

Stevan: comne on!!!!

Tifa: NOOOOO!!!!!(slaps him)

Cloud: old damn lady jumping off a cliff, jumping off a cliff, jumping off a cliff, old damn lady jumping off a cliff, listen to her scream!!!!!!

Sephiroth once again flies in, now in a flying beer bottle

Sephiroth: I have gone back to my old ways, except now I drink too!!!!!!!(slugs out of whiskey bottle) Damn thats good

Phuzz and Strike fall though roof

Phuzz: owwwww

Tifa: whos phuzz

Phuzz: I am the new version of Crioshinx!!!!!

Strike: I'm not weraing underwear!!!!(loud farting noises ensue)

Phuz: ANyway, leave him to us, you guys go revive Aeris!!!(whipps shotgun out and fires

-CLICK!!!-

Phuzz: Sh$%

Strike: Well, my katana could never fail!!!! Charge!!!!!

hits sephiroth, it cracks in half

Stevan: Here, take these(hands out his extra shoutgun and katana he always carries around) Lets get him!!!!!

Everyone runs off

Cloud: NOOO!!!! My brother from another mother, or was it transvestite!!!!!

End of part 1

Authors notes:
Still accepting applications
Story will continue
Maybe here, or maybe in anothor story.
There will be no updates for a few weeks