Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with anything, all I ever do is sit in the dark little corner of my room fearing the world around me. I might also eat, I don't know yet. If you believe I am insane, that's probably true. I can't write funny disclaimers anymore. : (
Important thangs!!!!!
Criosphinx has changed his name to Phuzz
Cinnamon chaos will be in this chapter
Is Cid's Turtle a boy or a girl!!!????
uhhh. yeah, let's move on to the story......
On the northern continent, in the forgotten capital
Cid: What the F%$# was that!!! There was a flash of a sword and then nothing!!!!
Stevan:(holding broadsword over shoulder)That would be me(to be said in a calm voice)I killed them all. I am here to help you because.... well......(rushes up to barret) DO YOU THINK I CAN GET A DATE WITH AERIS IF I REVIVE HER!!!!!
Barret: no
Stevan: how about an autograph??
Barret: maybe
Stevan: how about a beating over the head with a sharp, blunt object??
Barret: Yeah, that's more like it....
Stevan: Anyyyyywayyy, I'll try to help you guys out(turns around, with massive sword, clubs everyone onto the ground)
Red XIII: I have a warm feeling inside of my head, could it be a vision???? No, wait.. it's a stroke.(thud)
Tifa: Greeeaaatttt, now how the hell are we gonna bring him back!!!???
Barret: YES!!!!!! a body to beat up!!!!(grabs body and rushes off the screen, loud thumping nosies heard)
Stevan: Well, I do have a pheniox down or two....
Cid: Gimme that!!!!!!(uses it on Red XIII)
Barret: Come on, we need something to beat up!!! I mean, hes the only one who won't use his damn level four limit break scroll.
Red XIII: I like my level threes....
Tifa: guys lets just go....
Barret: waaaiiittttttt, the new guy, he doesn't have limnit breaks!!! KILL!!!!!!
Tifa: NOOO!!!! BARRET STOP!!!!!! stevan is like Criophinx and strike, just hopefully a better fighter
Barret: oh
In the meantime, in rocket town.....
Vincint: We need to get across the ocean to the others.
Yuffie: But they took the plane!!!!
Vincint: Look, theres someone now!!!
they walk over to man
Vincint: can you get us to the northern continent???
Man: Well, I can shoot you out of this cannon here, you might make it, sorta depends weather or not ya skip when ya hit the the water
vincint: WH-(limit break runs out and vincint becomes a squirral again
Man: OH BOY!!!!! A Perfect Test specimen!!!!
man shoves vincint squirral into cannon
Man: Fire(war of 1812 stars playing) duh duh duh duh da duh da dah duh da!!!! BOOM!!!!
Vincint squirral flies off into the distence
Yuffie: No!!!!! Turtle!!! Don't make me sing it!!!!!
Yuffie puts hand up to chest
Yuffie: Oh say does that star spangled banner yetttt wwwaaavvveee, for the land of the free, and the homeeee of the gaaaayyyyy, I mean brave!!!!
At Turtle headquarters:
Turtle: Fireball, report!!!
Fireball: They seem to get past whatever doohickey I throw at them
Turtle: Have you been trying??
Fireball: no
Turtle: What have you been doing....
Fireball: Having drinking contests with toddlers, I always win wo it makes me feel good.....
Turtle: I'll motavate you with a random author search, this person will join you, so o outside, ytou will meet them in a moment.
Fireball: Okay.... I got a toddler and a few tequillas out there anyway
Turtle: Now to press the big red button to blow this place up, I means the green one to bring a random author here.(presses button)
beeping nosies occur, vivi appears
turtle: whoops, I pressed the wrong button
Vivi: NOOO!!!! don't make me go back there, I can make you happy!!!(snaps, hula music begin)
Vivi begins to hula
Vivi: akikiakanukkiayyyyyyy(I have no idea what the hell it means, or anything else, when I say it, it just sounds right)
Turtle: I can't send you back....
Vivi:(still hulaing)oh
snaps fingers agin, techno begins playing
Vivi: Break dance!!!!(begins head spin)
Turtle: lets try agin, pushes a differnt button, a man appears holding a staff
Turtle: BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!! That staff you hold is made for magic people who are women!!!!(points to pink staff)
?????: Shut up!!!!(casts stop)
Turtle:(holds up hand, reflects it)
Guard: sir, your pizza is re-(frozen)
Turtle: I need you to help a man in the hall, he is in my story and can't seem to prolong it very well, I need you to help.
Fireball:(from hall) I won't let a toddler outdrink me!!!!!-hic-
Turtle: Name???
?????: Cinnamon chaos
Turtle: Okay
Cinnamon: I'll help you on one condition.
Turtle: Namt it
Cinnamon: Afterwrads, I want you to get all the FF girls, tie them up, and put them in a room, with one shelf completly covered in differnt kinds of alcehol(he he, spelled wrong) Then, I want to walk up to Tifa, and
Turtle: don't want to hear this!!!!!!!
Cinnamon: Welll????
Turtle: fine, just go meet him
Fireball:(in hall) NOOOOO!!!!!!! He outdrank me!!!! I feel so useless!!!!! How could I lose!!!!!!!!
Turtle: pitiful......
Back at the forgotten capital
Tifa: this is it, we can revive Aeris...
Stevan: PLeasseee, let me use the pheniox down!!!!
Tifa: NO!!!!!
Stevan: comne on!!!!
Tifa: NOOOOO!!!!!(slaps him)
Cloud: old damn lady jumping off a cliff, jumping off a cliff, jumping off a cliff, old damn lady jumping off a cliff, listen to her scream!!!!!!
Sephiroth once again flies in, now in a flying beer bottle
Sephiroth: I have gone back to my old ways, except now I drink too!!!!!!!(slugs out of whiskey bottle) Damn thats good
Phuzz and Strike fall though roof
Phuzz: owwwww
Tifa: whos phuzz
Phuzz: I am the new version of Crioshinx!!!!!
Strike: I'm not weraing underwear!!!!(loud farting noises ensue)
Phuz: ANyway, leave him to us, you guys go revive Aeris!!!(whipps shotgun out and fires
-CLICK!!!-
Phuzz: Sh$%
Strike: Well, my katana could never fail!!!! Charge!!!!!
hits sephiroth, it cracks in half
Stevan: Here, take these(hands out his extra shoutgun and katana he always carries around) Lets get him!!!!!
Everyone runs off
Cloud: NOOO!!!! My brother from another mother, or was it transvestite!!!!!
End of part 1
Authors notes:
Still accepting applications
Story will continue
Maybe here, or maybe in anothor story.
There will be no updates for a few weeks
Important thangs!!!!!
Criosphinx has changed his name to Phuzz
Cinnamon chaos will be in this chapter
Is Cid's Turtle a boy or a girl!!!????
uhhh. yeah, let's move on to the story......
On the northern continent, in the forgotten capital
Cid: What the F%$# was that!!! There was a flash of a sword and then nothing!!!!
Stevan:(holding broadsword over shoulder)That would be me(to be said in a calm voice)I killed them all. I am here to help you because.... well......(rushes up to barret) DO YOU THINK I CAN GET A DATE WITH AERIS IF I REVIVE HER!!!!!
Barret: no
Stevan: how about an autograph??
Barret: maybe
Stevan: how about a beating over the head with a sharp, blunt object??
Barret: Yeah, that's more like it....
Stevan: Anyyyyywayyy, I'll try to help you guys out(turns around, with massive sword, clubs everyone onto the ground)
Red XIII: I have a warm feeling inside of my head, could it be a vision???? No, wait.. it's a stroke.(thud)
Tifa: Greeeaaatttt, now how the hell are we gonna bring him back!!!???
Barret: YES!!!!!! a body to beat up!!!!(grabs body and rushes off the screen, loud thumping nosies heard)
Stevan: Well, I do have a pheniox down or two....
Cid: Gimme that!!!!!!(uses it on Red XIII)
Barret: Come on, we need something to beat up!!! I mean, hes the only one who won't use his damn level four limit break scroll.
Red XIII: I like my level threes....
Tifa: guys lets just go....
Barret: waaaiiittttttt, the new guy, he doesn't have limnit breaks!!! KILL!!!!!!
Tifa: NOOO!!!! BARRET STOP!!!!!! stevan is like Criophinx and strike, just hopefully a better fighter
Barret: oh
In the meantime, in rocket town.....
Vincint: We need to get across the ocean to the others.
Yuffie: But they took the plane!!!!
Vincint: Look, theres someone now!!!
they walk over to man
Vincint: can you get us to the northern continent???
Man: Well, I can shoot you out of this cannon here, you might make it, sorta depends weather or not ya skip when ya hit the the water
vincint: WH-(limit break runs out and vincint becomes a squirral again
Man: OH BOY!!!!! A Perfect Test specimen!!!!
man shoves vincint squirral into cannon
Man: Fire(war of 1812 stars playing) duh duh duh duh da duh da dah duh da!!!! BOOM!!!!
Vincint squirral flies off into the distence
Yuffie: No!!!!! Turtle!!! Don't make me sing it!!!!!
Yuffie puts hand up to chest
Yuffie: Oh say does that star spangled banner yetttt wwwaaavvveee, for the land of the free, and the homeeee of the gaaaayyyyy, I mean brave!!!!
At Turtle headquarters:
Turtle: Fireball, report!!!
Fireball: They seem to get past whatever doohickey I throw at them
Turtle: Have you been trying??
Fireball: no
Turtle: What have you been doing....
Fireball: Having drinking contests with toddlers, I always win wo it makes me feel good.....
Turtle: I'll motavate you with a random author search, this person will join you, so o outside, ytou will meet them in a moment.
Fireball: Okay.... I got a toddler and a few tequillas out there anyway
Turtle: Now to press the big red button to blow this place up, I means the green one to bring a random author here.(presses button)
beeping nosies occur, vivi appears
turtle: whoops, I pressed the wrong button
Vivi: NOOO!!!! don't make me go back there, I can make you happy!!!(snaps, hula music begin)
Vivi begins to hula
Vivi: akikiakanukkiayyyyyyy(I have no idea what the hell it means, or anything else, when I say it, it just sounds right)
Turtle: I can't send you back....
Vivi:(still hulaing)oh
snaps fingers agin, techno begins playing
Vivi: Break dance!!!!(begins head spin)
Turtle: lets try agin, pushes a differnt button, a man appears holding a staff
Turtle: BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!! That staff you hold is made for magic people who are women!!!!(points to pink staff)
?????: Shut up!!!!(casts stop)
Turtle:(holds up hand, reflects it)
Guard: sir, your pizza is re-(frozen)
Turtle: I need you to help a man in the hall, he is in my story and can't seem to prolong it very well, I need you to help.
Fireball:(from hall) I won't let a toddler outdrink me!!!!!-hic-
Turtle: Name???
?????: Cinnamon chaos
Turtle: Okay
Cinnamon: I'll help you on one condition.
Turtle: Namt it
Cinnamon: Afterwrads, I want you to get all the FF girls, tie them up, and put them in a room, with one shelf completly covered in differnt kinds of alcehol(he he, spelled wrong) Then, I want to walk up to Tifa, and
Turtle: don't want to hear this!!!!!!!
Cinnamon: Welll????
Turtle: fine, just go meet him
Fireball:(in hall) NOOOOO!!!!!!! He outdrank me!!!! I feel so useless!!!!! How could I lose!!!!!!!!
Turtle: pitiful......
Back at the forgotten capital
Tifa: this is it, we can revive Aeris...
Stevan: PLeasseee, let me use the pheniox down!!!!
Tifa: NO!!!!!
Stevan: comne on!!!!
Tifa: NOOOOO!!!!!(slaps him)
Cloud: old damn lady jumping off a cliff, jumping off a cliff, jumping off a cliff, old damn lady jumping off a cliff, listen to her scream!!!!!!
Sephiroth once again flies in, now in a flying beer bottle
Sephiroth: I have gone back to my old ways, except now I drink too!!!!!!!(slugs out of whiskey bottle) Damn thats good
Phuzz and Strike fall though roof
Phuzz: owwwww
Tifa: whos phuzz
Phuzz: I am the new version of Crioshinx!!!!!
Strike: I'm not weraing underwear!!!!(loud farting noises ensue)
Phuz: ANyway, leave him to us, you guys go revive Aeris!!!(whipps shotgun out and fires
-CLICK!!!-
Phuzz: Sh$%
Strike: Well, my katana could never fail!!!! Charge!!!!!
hits sephiroth, it cracks in half
Stevan: Here, take these(hands out his extra shoutgun and katana he always carries around) Lets get him!!!!!
Everyone runs off
Cloud: NOOO!!!! My brother from another mother, or was it transvestite!!!!!
End of part 1
Authors notes:
Still accepting applications
Story will continue
Maybe here, or maybe in anothor story.
There will be no updates for a few weeks
