Hello and welcome to an all-new addition of Transcendant Pig Short Stories. Oh yah.umm I forgot to tell you but, you can now anonymous review me. You are in for a special treat today, because I have been writing a lot! You are also lucky because my sister convinced me to write not one, not two, but three alternative endings to snowballs come raining. But of course, she only suggested that tonight, and therefore have not written a single thing about it, however, I can say that there will be a snowball fight in the next posting of it. Now, my other sister thinks she doesn't get any credit.she helped me sometimes to figure out a few things in sophisticated swordmaster. Her name on fanfiction is Shiara the Water Priestess I believe, and she will soon be an author herself, (or so she tells me). However, she had nothing to do with this next chapter so I can take all the glory for myself (YAY!). and ummm, Funnybones (the parrot I mentioned in earlier chapters) will make his first appearance in this chapter!!!!! Also, I realized that I have kinda been lacking in my disclaimers, and this is to make up for it:

Disclaimer: ya da ya da ya da-the parrot is mine, you can't take him-ya da ya da ya da-the rest regretfully is hers-ya da ya da ya da-I will do my best to uphold my family-ya da ya da ya da-bananas-ya da ya da ya da-and power to the monkeys!

So, onto the third insert of yes, Sophisticated Swordmaster 3!!!!!!

By me, Transcendant Pig!

Excerpt from last time:

Serena was left all alone with Darien. It seemed no one was going to come help him, or at least bring him an ice pack.

~Darien's POV~

I was still kneeling down clutching my eye, when I heard everything recede back to its normal pace, and everyone leave. I was about to get up when I heard footsteps. When the footsteps stopped, I looked up to see Serena standing over me with an ice pack in her hand.

"Here." She said to me like we weren't enemies at all, "if you put it on your eye now, it won't hurt so much later on."

When I didn't answer she turned around and started walking towards the hidden stair in the training hall.

"Thanks." I said at her receding figure.

Apparently she heard me, because after I said that she turned around and smiled a small smile at me, and then continued on her way.

Author's POV ("no author read, my point of view, not yours, I mean you have your own show.leave my puny infamous gathering of short stories alone!" ~animated aardvark stalks of sullenly muttering "I knew Buster gave me the wrong directions to his house"~)

Now, as everyone should know, the secret stair led to a second level (duh!). On that second level, were basically rooms for people to stay in. The people who stayed there were, the Mistress (even she need a place to sleep at the end of the day, not to mention the fact that she owns the place.), Serena (from out of town with no where else to stay, not to mention that she trains there at the request of Sensei, a friend of the Mistress), Darien (sent to live and train there by his family), and Andrew.

Now, Andrew, or at least his pet, plays a very big part in this story. You see, Andrew was going on vacation for the week and there was a tradition (more like rule, due to an incident involving a gerbil and some nasty looking jello) in his family, not to bring their pets along with them, or in easier terms, no pets allowed.

So, the next morning Andrew woke up early, for he would leave soon, and got ready to go. When he was done packing, he got out a cage, bird feed, and water, which he normally put in shallow dishes on his dresser. When he had everything, he called out "Funnybones!"

There was the sound of flapping (flap! flap!) as Andrew's parrot, Funnybones, flew out from beneath his bed with what seemed to be an old lollipop in his mouth, and landed on his arm.

"Hey!" Andrew protested, "I've been looking for that!" and saying that, he took the lollipop from his mouth.

"Now, this is very important that you remember this, you will be staying with Darien this week understand?"

"To Darien, to Darien, the wonderful wizard of.of.KUNG-FU!" sung the parrot in a rich english accent.

Andrew just laughed and petted his head while saying, "You silly bird, be good to Darien, and he will be good to you."

Little did Andrew know that what he had just said (with out the 'you silly bird') would soon be repeated.

As Andrew walked down the hall to Darien's door (to give him Funnybones), another door opened and out popped a girl. The girl, (whom we know as Serena), asked, "Is there a kitchen around here?"

"Uhh.yah, it's right through that door," said Andrew pointing to a door down the hall. "My names Andrew, what's yours?"

"Ohh, sorry I didn't introduce myself, I'm Serena, and thanks for telling me."

"Sue-eee!" screeched Funnybones, clearly in want of attention.

Andrew grimaced from it going right to his ears and said, "This is Funnybones. He's such a silly bird."

Funnybones flew of Andrew's arm and onto Serena's as he greeted her with a simple, "Hullo!"

"Why hello Funnybones!" said Serena chuckling.

"Well, I gotta go, I'm on vacation, and if you see Funnybones lurking around, just go put him in his cage. It will be in that room," said Andrew pointing to Darien's room.

"Have fun!" said Serena headed off to the kitchen to make some breakfast.

"What should I make today?" muttered Serena who was talking to herself.

"Ohhhh! I know, SCONES!" said Serena who was drooling at the thought.

Serena found everything she needed in that kitchen, from the mixer to the honeybutter. This was a fully equipped kitchen that had anything anyone would ever need.

While the scones were frying, Serena decided to make a batch of coffee.

When she finished with everything, she heaped the scones onto a plate, and put the plate on the table, along with the honeybutter and a cup of coffee just the way she liked it. 1% coffee, 30% creamer, and 69% sugar.

She then sat down to eat but as she reached for a scone, she realized she had made too much!

Serena looked at the food with dismay as she thought, 'Not Again!!!!!'

You see, Serena hates to waste food, so she always eats every single morsel of what she makes, unless there is someone else to help her eat it. But she kinda has the problem of making too much, and one time she didn't have anyone to share it with. So, long story short, (ha ha ha a short story in a collection of short stories!) she ending up eating everything, got really sick, had to go to the hospital to get her stomach pumped, and made sure there was always some one with her at breakfast.

~~~~~~~~~Time to look in on Darien~~~~~~~~~~~

Darien awoke to knocking on his door.

"Darien!"

He groaned as he got up. It seemed the pounding on the door was also inside his head. As he moved slowly to the door there came more knocking.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"I don't understand.usually Darien is up before m-."

Andrew got cut off as the door opened and as he saw Darien's face, he let out an all-knowing "AHHHH.now I see!"

"How bad is it?" asked Darien for he to was all knowing and knew what the ahhh above meant.

"It's pretty bad," stated Andrew as he looked once again at his friends face to see a large purplish bruise forming around his eye.

"Does it hurt when I do this?" asked a curious Andrew while lightly poking the black eye.

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Don't ever do that again!!!!!"

"I'm sorry, did that hurt?" said Andrew looking very innocent.

"Like hell!"

All of a sudden there was a ringing in Darien's head as Darien's alarm clock started beeping to tell him it was six o'clock.

"It's six o'clock!! Oh man oh man oh man.I'm gonna be so late, here take Funnybones, his cage and food are in my room, just go and bring it here.ahhhh! I gotta gooo!" screamed Andrew as he roughly shoved Funnybones into Darien's arms and bolted outside as to avoid being late, due to the fact that one time he was late for a family vacation, and just happened to get on the wrong plane, so instead of going to a nice warm Ireland in the summer, he ended up in Sweden during their winter. Brr, not to mention that when that little escapade was over, they kept a close eye on him from then on. (poor Andrew).

"Have fun," said Darien quietly, as he went over to Andrew's room to get the stuff Andrew mentioned.

As he reached it, Funnybones lept into the air and headed towards the kitchen. 'Silly bird' thought Darien as he retrieved the cage and food and moved to put them in his room.

Once there, he set the stuff down and went to find 'the rotten fiend' as Darien so casually called him.

When he left his room he decided to head towards the kitchen where Funnybones had headed. Just as he was about to go in he heard voices. He leaned closer to the door to hear what was being said and got the shock of his life as he heard Serena say, ".So that's my life story Funnybones, what do you think I should do?"

"Be good to Darien and he will be good to you!"

"How right you are you silly bird!"

"Silly bird! Silly bird!"

Just as Darien went into the kitchen, he heard Serena say, "Would you like another scone Funnybones? There's still too many."

"Mind if I take a couple?"

Serena turned at his voice and said, "Yes of course!"

As he sat down she then went on to say how sorry she was, and that she was just determined to win and wouldn't have it any other way. Of course, after that he said, "It's alright, in fact, I look forward to training with you."

"And I you"

With that said, there was silence until a certain someone could no longer hold it in.

"May I PLEASE have the honeybutter!" said Funnybones, and as they were putting liberal amounts on his scone you could hear him muttering under his breath, "Honestly, kids these days have no respect for parrots! Silly bird they call me, well I will show them I'm just as intelligent and twice as pretty as."for that was all you could hear because he was stuffing his beak full with a scone literally dripping with honeybutter.

Umm.even though I have more, I think I'll just stop here because it's kinda late and I still have other things to do..and uhhh...i will update the rest later! Though how much later, I have no idea.and the most important part of this chapter.R&R!!!!! I just love reviews,, and nothing will help better than a couple reviews to get me to update faster!!! (don't you just love bribery???)