I do not own Advance Wars or WalMart or Clorox Bleach or Easy Cheese, so you CAN'T sue me NOW! HA!

*******************************************

Mama's Got the Magic of Clorox!

One day in late autumn Olaf was doing some laundry. He was putting some Clorox Bleach in with his giant underwear to get out all the stains. He was singing happily to himself, until he dropped his favorite nickel into the washing machine and dove in after it.

"NOOO, PHILLIP!" Olaf cried, but he slipped on some laundry soap and his entire head was submerged in pure Clorox bleach. "AAHHHHHHH!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!"

Now, normally, taking a bath in Clorox bleach would kill a person, but Olaf was much too fat to die that easily. Instead, when he found his nickel and got out of the washing machine, his hair and beard were bleached completely white.

"Oh, doughnut!" Olaf cursed, "Now I have to go and get some hair dye! This is so embarrassing, I look like an old geezer!"

And with that, Olaf set out in his tank to go to Wal Mart, accidentally killing and/or severely injuring many innocent pedestrians. When he got to the parking lot, there was no room for his giant tank, so he decided to park in four of the handicapped spaces.

"Heeheehee.." He thought to himself, "and now since I look like an old geezer, I can probably get away with it!"

A few minutes later, he was already leaving the hair product aisle and heading with great haste towards the cash register. But little did he know that he would never get there.

"OH MY GOSH!" a little girl squeaked, "IT'S SANTA CLAUS!!!"

"HOLY CRAP!" Olaf yelled as he was swarmed by millions of little children.

"Santa, I want a Barbie Dream House!"

"Santa, I want a PS2!"

"Santa, I want to take over the world!"

"Sturm?" Olaf screamed, "What are YOU doing here!?!"

"GASP!" Sturm gasped, "YOU'RE NOT SANTA CLAUS!"

"Duh!" Olaf whacked Sturm over the head with a small child and ran for his life.

"AAAAAAH! GET 'EM!" The crowd roared, chasing after Olaf and Sturm like a tidal wave.

"NEED...TANK!" Olaf panted, "MUST..FIGHT...BACK!"

"Where the heck are the guided missiles in this place?!?!?" Sturm screamed.

"AHA!" Olaf shouted, "A sufficient weapon! Here, take some of these!" Olaf handed Sturm several cans of Easy Cheese and grabbed a few for himself. "READY.AIM.FIRE!!!"

The dynamic duo then shot sticky strands of Easy Cheese at the mob of psychotic children, and soon all of them were encased in a giant cheesy cocoon.

"Well, my work here is done." Olaf grunted, "I need to go to the bathroom."

Sturm followed him halfway through the store, until Olaf turned around and whacked him on the head.

"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!?!?"

Sturm, face stoic, asked, "Can I take over the world now, Santa?"

***************************

Heeheee! Please review, ya know!