Title: Loopy Much
Author: Doc loopymuch@eternal.ws
Disclaimer: I own nothing and don't sue me b/c I have to use all my money for drugs!! Joss owns the Scooby Gang and everyone else in the story owns themselves~I think!
Distribution: Repeat it with me: Want...Take...Have! Send me the URL
Spoilers: None that I can think of
Rating: if you watch the show you can defiantly read it
Synopsis: Buffy and Angel encounter some pretty strange things...but, they have their trusty gang to help them out!
Author's Note: Ok, I was just sittin here @ my puter trying to think of a good subject for a new fic, when BAM! A book fell on my head! It hurt really bad! I just wanted to let you guys know that
Author's Note 2: Well, the Author's Note above it totally quirky and not really! This includes a lot of my friends through Email (off the lists), off AIM (KAS!!) And of course Buffy and Angel and the Scoobies!
Author's Note 3: This is a HUMOR fic! Hence the Title being Loopy Much!
Author's Note 4: Dude! There sure are a lot of Author's Notes! NEWHOO! Faith is dead (awww *sniff sniff*) and I put me in as the new Slayer...just because I wanna be! (it gives me a happy...lemme do what I want its MY fic!)
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"Hey, Kas, are we still meeting Buffy and Angel for patrol?"
Doc was in her room studying for Mid-Terms.
"Yeah, I just got a call from Kaylen, she said she'd meet us here @ about 6:30. Then we are heading to the Magic Box."
"Well, I think I am gonna head over there a little early and do a little work out! Have you heard from Sara-Lee?"
"No, but I don't' think she's coming to the Bronze later. She sounded kind of sick on the phone."
"Well, I might stop by and check on her. I think I might stop by Ryan's house to see if he wants to come help me train."
"Ok, whatever. See you tonight."
Doc walked out the door and toward Sara-Lee's house.
________________________________________________________
"Hello? Anyone home? Sara-Lee?"
"Doc? What're you doing here?"
Sara-Lee came out a very old looking battle-ax held above her head. She was in a bathrobe and her nose was red and her eyes were puffy.
"I came to check on you. Kasiya said you might be sick, and by the looks of it you are. I was just worried about you!"
"Yeah. I seem to have caught a cold. I think I got it from Xander. Remember when he was sick?"
"Wow, I can't believe I'm not sick then. After all, isn't kissing the major way to spread disease? Or is that sex...well, then, I don't have anything b/c there's that big factor of no sex (abstinence is the only way to go people! Until Marriage that is! *smilies*)."
Sara-Lee just laughed.
"You are crazy girl. Where are you headed?"
"I was just gonna go over to Ryan's and see if he wanted to help me train for a little while. He's the best. I'm happy he's my watcher. (Ok, I made Ryan my watcher because he's so quiet and reserved, or @ least that's the picture I get of him!) I'll try to bring you by some food tonight after patrol Maybe Joyce will have made something."
Sara-lee smiled.
"Thanks."
"Well, I gotta be goin. Later girly."
"Bye Doc."
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*Knock Knock*
"Ok, ok, I'm coming, I'm coming. Gosh, keep your pants on."
Ryan was one of the very few American Watchers.
"Oh, its you Doc. Whats goin on?"
"Nothing. Just headin over to the..."
"Who is it Ryan? Oh, hello Doc. How are you doing today?"
"Oh, hey Giles. You guys over here discussing slaying strategies, or just ways to annoy me and Buff?"
They both looked at her, annoyed.
"Sorry, sorry, no one gets my sarcasm except Buffy and Xander and occasionally Angel. Well, I was just going to see if you'd come train with me, but I guess I'll go alone. Later Ry. Bye Giles."
"Good bye Doc."
"Later Doc. Practice your round house. It was sloppy last night."
"Whatever!"
_______________________________________________________
"Hello? Anyone here? Will? Buffy? Angel?"
Doc walked around quietly. She decided to go see if Buffy might be training and had the music turned up loud. She walked into the training room to find Buffy and Angel making out on the mats.
"You know you two ought to get a room."
Buffy and Angel's heads shot up at the sound of Doc's voice.
"Oh, Hey Doc. And shut up!"
Doc giggled.
"So, is this now the new version of "Lover's Lane?" Or are we still doing training in here."
"Oh, well, me and Angel were training, we just got a little sidetracked."
"I'd say more than a little."
Buffy glared at her jokingly.
"You wanna spar? (I don't know how to spell this word!)"
"Well, how about you spar Angel? Be more of a challenge for you, plus, I would kick your ass in two seconds."
"HA! That's what you think!"
"Another day perhaps. What
do ya say baby?"
"Sure. I'm up for it. You ready Doc?"
"As I'll ever be."
Doc took her fighting stance, as did Angel. She watched him carefully, drowning out all other things and concentrating solely on her opponent. They circled for a few seconds and then Angel went for the first punch, but Doc dodge out of the way at the last second. She swung around and did a sweeper with her right knee and knocked him off his feet. As he went down, he grabbed her ankle and she went down with him.
"Ow!"
"Gotta have every possible attack already figured out." Buffy was watching them and shouting pointers to Doc.
Angel recovered to his feet quickly, as did Doc and they began to circle again. Doc did a backhand spring that landed a nice kick to Angel's chest and knocked him slightly in the jaw. He fell to the ground and as he was recovering, Doc pinned him with her knees.
"He He. I win."
"Not so fast."
Angel used his weight advantage to sit up and throw her off of him.
"Hey, no fair."
"Doc, do you think a real vamp is going to play fair? Yeah, after you pin him once he's just gonna say, "ok, go ahead and stake me."
Doc got up and landed a swift round house to Angel's back and knocked him down hard on the mat. This time Doc made sure to pin him to where he couldn't throw her off. But, at the same time put her in a very awkward position.
"What the hell is going on? Doc, why are you on top of Angel."
"Oh, we were just sparing. Harmless, nothing going on. Calm down Xand, God!"
Xander glared at Angel.
"God Dead boy, you take Buff from me and now you're going after Doc? How vampish of you!"
"Xander, shut up. We were just sparing. You know you over react about everything. Oh, and I didn't take Buffy from you, she came willingly." He smiled at his beloved. She smiled back at him.
"Well, are we gonna go patrol or what?"
"Well, Kas and Kaylen should be here soon. It's almost 6:30 they should be here."
"Hey guys."
"...now."
"Ok, guess we can leave
now."
Buffy, Angel, Xander, Doc, Kasiya, and Kaylen all walked out the door,
remembering to grab some chicken soup for the sick Sara-Lee and some stakes
because after all, they were going to slay vampires! (Ok, I know this is getting
corny, but just bare (how do you spell it?) with me!)
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"Hey, do you guys hear that? I think there is a vamp over in those trees. I can feel it."
Docs started to slowly and stealthily creep over to the patch of bushes where she had heard the noise. She expected a vamp to rush her, but instead, out ran a little yellow duck.
"Hey, Doc, I think your spidy sense is going hay wire!"
"No, Xand, I feel it to. There's something strange going on."
The duck began to run around in circles and then it ran up to Xander. All of a sudden, it pounced on his leg and sunk its little fangs into his leg.
"Oww! Get it off Get it off!"
Xander was hopping around with this little duck on his leg, while Doc and Buffy were running after him trying to get it off.
"Xander, hold still."
Xander stopped hopping and Doc grabbed the duck and got its fangs out of Xander's legs.
"It looks like a vamp turned a duck into a...what the hell would you call this thing?"
Angel came over to examine it more closely (did I use correct grammar here?).
"I've never seen anything like this. I didn't even know animals could be turned. We should take this to Ryan and Giles."
"I agree. Hey, maybe Will and Amazon could look some stuff up for us."
The gang started back towards Ryan's house.
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"Hey, Amazon? Could you and Will look something up for us?"
"Yeah, sure. What do ya need?"
"Well, we seem to have found an animal that has been turned into a, well, a vampire."
"Huh?"
"How bout you and Will come over to Ryan's and you can use his puter."
"Ok. We'll be over in a minute. Hey, Will wants to know if you've heard from Oz."
"Tell her I think that him and Crystal (Tears for those of you who don't know.member she just sent us the GREAT fic today?) were going to band practice. The dingos are performing tomorrow night after all."
"Oh, mkay. See you in a bit. Bye."
"Ok, Will and Amazon are on their way over. Buffy, what do ya say to me and you making another sweep to see if we can find any more of these...whatever they are."
"Ok. I think they could actually do some damage if they wanted to. Giles, Ryan, we'll be back in about an hour."
"Alright, be careful."
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"Buffy, look at that puppy. Uh, there's something strange about it. Do you feel it?"
"Yeah, gimmie a stake. I laid mine down @ Ryan's."
Doc handed over a stake. Buffy decided that she wanted to see if she could dust these things like she could dust vamps. Just as she went in for the attack, the cute little puppy grew fangs and his eyes glowed blood red. She knocked it off its feet and staked it in the heart. *Dusted*
"So, I guess they still dye the same, but we can't have vampy animals running around town looking all cute and then going Grr on people."
"Well, maybe Will could find a spell to like either kill the ones that are turned, or turn them back to normal animals."
"Maybe. Let's head back to Ryan's."
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"Uh, ok, we are being followed. Will, I need you to hurry and find a protection spell quick fast and in a major hurry. On our way back here all the little vampy animals started to just like congregate to us. We had to run the last two blocks here!"
"Hey, I think I found a
spell that will turn them all to dust."
"Well, I hate to do it since its like the entire town's pet population, but
if we don't we're gonna have bigger problems than vamps on our hands! These
things are much harder to fight. How much time do you need to do it?"
"Oh, about 5 minutes."
"Ok. Do you guys here something, like beating and yelling?"
Doc ran over to the window to look out.
"Oh my gosh, its Oz, Crystal, Manda and Lizzie. We should have phoned them and told them not to come over here."
Doc and Buffy ran to help them get inside.
"What the hell is going on out there? Its like a zoo." They were all dusting feathers and fur off of themselves.
"We'll explain later. Right now Will has to do a spell."
"Ok, I'm ready.
**Fur, feathers, and fangs
Let these creatures be gone from our site.
Restore the natural order of things.
Turn them to dust this very night**
(Ok, I know the spell sucks..sorry!)
Suddenly all the commotion from outside stopped. Doc ran to the window to look out.
"You guys, uh, we have a slight dust problem."
Ryan's entire front lawn was covered in vampy animal dust.
"You know, for once I wish we'd meet at Buffy or Doc's house."
"Sorry Ryan. You know we still love you!"
"You know, that was very strange. I think that was the weirdest thing I have ever had to fight. So, Oz, Manda, you guys, how was band practice?"
"Oh, great. You know, now I understand why my cat was looking at me like it was going to eat me this morning. That would also explain why it exploded when it went outside this morning."
Everyone just stared at Oz.
"What?"
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