Yay!  I'm back!  A few of you have been asking about some pretty obvious things, and I'm glad you have because I was going to bring them into the story soon enough.  The idea was that you get so caught up in what's happening in the personal relationship between Vash and Meryl that you forget the problems of the outside world, etc.  Notice how the whole pregnancy thing came as a surprise to Meryl, who is usually so logical and understands consequences and all that?  This is another example of how they've been shutting themselves off from the world.  Millie's entrance was a small precursor to this, not that she's a problem but she is a reminder of the fact that beyond their cozy little apartment, things do go on as normal, and that could be problematic for our lovebirds…

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Take My Hand

Part 9

*****

Have you ever been tempted to live the fairy tale?  You know, the one that you hear about since you can barely remember.  A prince comes to you, sweeps you off your feet, rescues you from the mundane bore of your life, and you fall madly in love, living happily ever after.  You have babies together and no matter what happens, you love each other and can always rely on the prince's great strength.

For some reason, they never tell you that you and the prince will likely get into endless stupid fights about nothing whatsoever, no matter how much you love each other.  They also neglect to mention that sometimes, the prince is a wanted outlaw who has to maintain a low profile, so he rarely leaves the house and develops a weird sociophobic complex that won't go away, no matter how many tables he busses at the corner diner.  Because of this, when you become pregnant it's something of an issue because of the fact that you are the main source of income for your little fairy tale existence.  And then you start to realize that it's nearly impossible to stay at work once the pregnancy becomes highly apparent and more debilitating, and this could really cause a problem for you and your financially dependent prince.  So you start budgeting to be able to survive up to three months without income from your steady job, but of course, you haven't informed the prince as to your condition yet, so he doesn't understand why suddenly, you're clipping coupons and buying only what you deem absolutely necessary.  He just thinks it's some strange female phase.  That, or your overly perceptive prince suspects that all is not as it should be.

And then, what will happen when he finds out that even though he has saved you from your life of solitude, your dear prince has plunged you into a world of financial issues you never thought you'd experience?  Will he go out, determined to overcome his constant fear of being recognized and forced to move on, so that he might be able to support his small, growing family?  And if he does, what will come of it all?

Yes, I had it all in my hands.  The fairy tale was mine, but they never tell you the details, and it's the details that can steal the fairy tale away from you again.

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It was two months after Vash came back, and I still hadn't told him about my condition.  At first, I had justified it by telling myself that I wasn't really sure of anything yet, and until I was, it wouldn't be wise to go around telling people that I was pregnant, even if one of those people would be the father of any child I might be carrying.  And then…after I was sure, I think I started to feel guilty for not telling him right away, and then I started pushing it off, over and over.  I would say to myself "I'll tell him this week" and before I would know it, the week had passed and I still hadn't found a good opportunity to explain to him exactly why I had become overly moody and was experiencing regular bouts of morning sickness.  But then I started to realize that there was no way I'd be able to work straight through my pregnancy.  I had saved up three weeks of paid vacation, but I somehow doubted that I would be able to work up into my ninth month and then come back as soon as the baby was born, so I knew that I would have to budget for at least a month without pay, and that was truly worrying.

I had never really bothered to worry about how Vash had affected my finances, as we still did well enough that money wasn't a problem, but there's something about babies that can be rather problematic.  To put it simply, they're rather expensive.  Not that I didn't want this child enough to deal with the financial compromise involved, but the fact of the matter was that it would be more than a little different from there on in.  No more splurging on new clothes or the most expensive food.  I would have to learn to be careful with money if I wanted to be able to get through this pregnancy with our finances intact.

And then, one afternoon as I sat clipping coupons and scribbling down numbers, a terrifying thought hit me.  I pictured a woman who was older than me with longer hair and a slightly different face doing the same thing as me and I realized that it was a memory from when I was younger.  That's when I realized that I was becoming my mother.  And I knew, it was only the beginning.  Somehow, I could see myself baking cookies and shaking my spoon at my child, telling them to stay out of the kitchen until I was finished.  I was…I was becoming my mother.

As I sat frozen, in a state of perplexed shock, Vash came into the room, grabbing his boots and sitting on the bed to slip them on.  He noted my state of confused worry, and without a second thought, he smiled and came over to my desk, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and kissing the top of my head.  Vash didn't need to know what was wrong to know that I really needed a hug right then.  Maybe that's part of why I love him so much.

"You okay?" he nuzzled against my hair, moving his hands and beginning to rub at the knots in my shoulders.  I could feel my tension seep out under his talented fingers, and a small smile reached my lips.

"I was just thinking…sitting here trying to clip coupons and make ends meet…I used to watch my mother do that sort of thing all the time." I chuckled slightly at the admission as I let my head loll back, relaxing into the massage I was receiving.  "Made me think…I'm becoming my mother."

"I'd like to meet your mother." It was a fervent whisper, as though he was afraid I would refuse him that little bit of normalcy.  My eyes came open, and I blushed, feeling stupid for not having offered to introduce him to my family earlier.  It seemed like an obvious thing to do, but I was still worried about it.

"I should take you home to meet my parents." I offered, reaching up a hand to cover his as his fingers continued to work on the knots in my flesh.  "After all…things between us…" I was blushing again, and I didn't know why.  Couldn't I simply speak the truth?  Couldn't I say that I wanted to stay with him forever?  I suppose it was still hard for me to admit, even though I knew it was the truth.

"I'd like that." He pressed his lips to my temple, and my smile widened slightly.  "Meryl…can I ask why you've been so…frugal lately?"

"Um…I just thought we should be more careful." I explained to him evasively.  "No reason to waste money, I guess."

"Oh…I'm sorry." Vash always got apologetic about the finances.  I suspected that despite what I'd told him, he still didn't think it was fair that he didn't have to make barely any money and I was our main source of income.  "Are we…in trouble at all?" he wanted to know.  I put down my pen and turned to him, letting my fingers brush up over his jaw as his hands dropped from my shoulders.

"No, not yet…" I told him, standing so that he didn't have to lean down over me.

"Are we going to be in trouble?" he wanted to know, and the concern in his aqua eyes made me feel guilty for keeping my condition from him.  That was the real reason for my newfound sense of economy, after all.

"If we aren't careful, it could be bad." I admitted, trying to gather my courage and explain what I meant by that.

"It's…because of me, isn't it?" Vash was obviously upset, his shoulders hunching over at the thought that he was a financial handicap.  "I'm sorry…you've been so worried lately you've been making yourself sick, haven't you?"

"No, it's not you, Vash." I burrowed my face against his chest, unable to meet his eyes as I reached down, twining my fingers through his.  "Vash?"

"Yeah?" he still sounded so dejected, and I wondered momentarily if the news wouldn't be welcome, but I knew that I had to tell him eventually.  It wasn't like he wouldn't be able to figure it out once I started to show.

"I'm pregnant." The words felt heavy on my tongue, as though carrying with them the gravity of the situation.  Vash's fingers tightened almost painfully at the shock of the statement, and he used his free hand to tilt my chin up so that he could see me better.  His eyes were wet, and his lip was trembling when he finally managed to speak.

"What?" he prompted me to repeat myself.

"I'm pregnant." I told him.  It wasn't nearly as difficult the second time.  "I…should have said something, but I couldn't think of how to tell you."

"How…long?" he was still in shock, and I couldn't tell if he was excited or upset.

"I found out just after you left." I told him.  "I didn't want to tell you then…I still wasn't sure.  But I've gone to a doctor…I'm due in six months.  That's why I've been…sick lately, and it's kind of an issue with finances and all…since I'll have to take time off and all that…Vash?  Say something." I was beginning to worry that maybe he really didn't want a baby.

"You're pregnant?" he still seemed unsure about whether I was teasing him or not.

"Yes, with your child." I clarified, as though there was any doubt.

"And so…does anyone know?  Your mother?  Millie?" he asked, his lip still trembling slightly.

"Um…no, just my doctor and me.  And you, of course." I told him, trying desperately to read the emotions swirling through his bright eyes.

"Do you…want this?" his face broke into a smile then, and I felt as though there had been some struggle in me that had suddenly disappeared.  Vash made the world so complicated and so simple all at once.  "To start a family?  A real family?  With me?"

"Vash, I love you." I reminded him, his smile causing my own lips to quirk up in response.  "I want to stay with you forever."  There, I'd said it.  And judging from the response, a short sound of joy before Vash began smothering me in hugs and kisses, I decided that it wasn't an idea that he was at all opposed to.  I supposed I would have to introduce him to my family after all, if I was to spend the rest of my life with him, to bear his children, but right then, I just concentrated on the feel of him, the scent and taste of him, and the love that poured from him at the knowledge that his child was inside of me.

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"Meryl, are you sleeping?" Vash was whispering as he lay next to me in our darkened room.  I smiled slightly, rolling over to face him, not bothering to brush the strands of black hair out of my face as I did so.

"No." I answered, moving to snuggle closer to him.  "I just got in bed.  How am I supposed to get asleep that fast?"

"Well…I thought…since you're pregnant." I almost laughed out loud at his reasoning.  Ever since I'd told Vash about my condition, he seemed to think that I would behave completely different from how I normally did.  Of course, this was because I was pregnant.  "So…I was thinking something."

"What's that?" I asked, my smile fading away as I let myself relax against his warm body.  It was so nice to be lulled to sleep by the sound of his heart, I thought I would never possibly tire of it.

"Well…you know how you're pregnant?" he asked.  I did laugh then, a slow chuckle escaping my lips before I kissed his throat softly.

"It's hard to forget when you remind me every five minutes." I told him.

"Anyway…I thought that maybe I should work more, down at the diner." Vash explained.  "I only work there a few hours a week now, but I could work more, and then maybe…it wouldn't be such a problem, with money and all that."

"But Vash," I smiled slightly as I felt his hand drift down to my side, his thumb rubbing over my stomach as though he was trying to verify the presence of the child inside.  "If you worked all the time, who would clean and cook and spoil me all the time?"

"I could still do that too." He insisted.  "I just thought that I should be helping out more.  I mean…you wouldn't be pregnant if it weren't for me."

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing." I teased him.  I had been moody lately, so it was probably a good thing that he hadn't caught me in one of my foul tempers, as I would have likely taken that remark entirely the wrong way.  "I like it like it is now.  You don't need to do anything more than what you do now."

"But I want to do more." He told me, kissing my forehead as though that would win him the advantage.  "It's my baby too."

"I know that, and I appreciate your concern, but Vash…" I hesitated to bring it up, but the part of me that was all logic and common sense couldn't let it go.  "Vash, you can't work full time.  First of all, you're terrified to leave the house for even a few hours a week as it is, and secondly, what if someone were to recognize you?  You shouldn't even be leaving the house, and I wouldn't allow it if I didn't know that you're perfectly capable of dealing with anything that could happen.  Also…well, it's not like many people actually know what you look like…so I guess…but I don't think it's a good idea."

"But you just said," Vash moved slightly to look at me, though I couldn't make out his face very well in the dark.  "No one really knows who I am."

"I'm sure some people could figure it out." I sighed slightly, not wanting to get in a fight at the moment.  I'd been in such a good mood, too.  "It wouldn't be the first time.  Remember, you're a magnet for trouble."

"It's not that I try to start things.  They just seem to happen." Vash was defensive now, a sure sign that an argument was brewing.

"And then you get involved, and then everything gets blown up, and then people start to put two and two together…" I left off there.  I still was hoping that maybe we could just go to sleep without any anger between us, but Vash needed to understand that I was right in this case.

"That won't happen just because I'm bussing more tables and washing more dishes.  I kind of doubt that the diner is a big criminal hangout." Vash told me, his tone clipped.  I sighed loudly, rolling away from him and looking at the darkened room as though it was much more fascinating than him.

"Whatever, don't listen to me.  Obviously I learned nothing about your ability to get yourself in trouble while I followed you around for the better part of a year." I told him, my tone growing a bit harsh.

"Meryl…I don't want to fight about this, I just thought it would be good." Vash moved so that he was close enough to pull me back against him.  "I thought…I should try harder to take care of you now…that things are changing."  I hesitated, after all, I didn't really want to fight with him either, "I just want to be a good father.  I want to take care of you…both of you." His hand found it's way to my stomach, resting there protectively, and I felt massively ridiculous because at that moment, I began to cry.  I mean, it had been somewhat touching, but I wasn't one to break down at the slightest provocation.  Still, the pregnancy seemed to be affecting my emotions strangely, and at times I felt as though I was just as touchy as Vash, if not more so.

"I was just…worried about you." I told him, turning over and burying my face in his chest as though it would hide the fact that I was crying if I just let my tears fall on his skin instead of on the pillow.  "If someone found you, what would we do?"

"No one will find me." Vash told me, kissing my forehead.  I thought about this for a few moments, and though I knew that he was probably right, I couldn't help but feel a bit of trepidation.  And then I realized that this doubt, this worry, this constant concern for someone else above yourself…this was a family.

"Okay." I agreed, kissing his throat softly.  "If you want to do it."

"I do." He told me as his hand returned to my side, his thumb rubbing my stomach slightly.  "I hate being useless like this."

"You've never been useless." I assured him.  "Vash?"

"Yeah?" he asked, his voice considerably more relaxed than it had been.

"I have to tell my parents about the baby…do you want to come with me?" I asked him, hoping that he wouldn't force me to do it alone.  Something in me said that it would be wrong to do it without him.  "I'm going to have dinner with them on Friday night."

"I get to meet them?" the innocent joy in Vash's voice made me smile again, all my nervousness dissolving under the easy reassurance of his constant love for life and for me.

"Yeah, you get to meet them." I told him, kissing his chin to indicate that I wanted him to turn his face down so I could kiss him properly.  "My brothers might be there.  It could get…interesting."

"It'll be okay." He assured me, tilting his head to kiss me softly.  "We'll be together."

"I love you Vash." I sighed happily, kissing him again.  "You make everything better."  And it was true.  He really did.  Vash was the best part of my life.

*****

The End (Of Part 9, That Is)