*~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~
2/07
Dear diary,
Its becoming more and more unbearable having to spend my hours with him- seeing him is both a pain and a pleasure- I find myself blushing at the merest glance. I'm sure Dumbledore knows- its so obvious- its there, in my eyes. I was never any good at hiding my feelings from people. I am thinking of asking for a transfer- it's not fair to myself to work like this- Im in danger of ruining my diploma. *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 4/07
Dear Diary
I will ask for a transfer- I must. This is killing me, even though it will kill me never to see him again. Why must I have done something so unlike me? ? *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 5/07
Dear Diary,
Things are getting out of hand now. Today as he was telling me about the properties of the rythanderstand potion, he leaned forward- I thought he meant to kiss me and so I closed my eyes and pursed my lips- when no kiss came, I opened my eyes and saw him reach for a jar on the shelf behind me. He must have seen me, what on earth will he think? That im some stupid giggling female? I cant help it, every time im around him I feel tingly and things suddenly seem to be a million times better; and I've found myself wondering down to the dungeons more and more often at night- I always manage to stop myself before I open the door though. Yet I still feel that, to have his arms around me would be the only way to scare off my particular night monsters. *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 7/07
Dear Diary,
Today we managed to complete a trial potion we had just sent it off to the ministry when an owl arrived- addressed to both of us- informing us of a ball. He took it as coolly as ever- but I must admit I enjoyed several moments of picturing Severus in evening dress robes.
He decided we ought to go together-, as we were colleagues, and nothing more. That bit cut into me deeply, He obviously seems me as a simple little girl. I must make him see me as a female, not just a potions assistant. And maybe this ball is the perfect opportunity.
*~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 9/07
Dear Diary,
The ball is tomorrow night and I am both nervous and excited- this is nothing like any of the balls I went to at Hogwarts and luckily my parents lent me some money so I could go shopping with Pansy and purchase some 'killer robes' her words not mine. She asked me who it was that I wanted to impress and I confess I couldn't tell her- I know she would have thought me stupid- but I feel so deeply for him. It's becoming a part of me. I just hope this ball goes ok.
*~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 10/07
Dear Diary,
The ball is tonight- in fact we have to leave in ten minutes, and I am all ready- I spent more time on my appearance tonight than I have ever done and I think it has paid off. Shall I tell you how I look? Well my dress is a pale blue and there are tiny diamante stones set in the dress so that it sparkles and twinkles like the night sky. My hair is straight (it took me forever to do-even with the magic) and is set with matching diamond clips- I have on my favourite trainers which I have charmed to look like high heeled evening shoes- yet to me they are as comfortable as trainers- perfect isn't it? My dress is quite low cut- the front is not too bad but it's a backless dress so hopefully I wont be doing much highland dancing. Oops, there is the gong- must dash – will update later.
*~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~
11/07 (the very early hours)
Dear Diary,
I feel like I am floating on air, the look of surprise on Severus's face was worth all the hours I spent on my toilette. I was complemented many many times and I was danced off my feet when we arrived at the magnificent gilded hall. I overheard a pair of old ladies discussing me, and they seemed surprised that I was "so pretty- I always expected someone that clever to be unattractive- dorky at least but she's rather pretty and surprisingly graceful"
The night just got better and better then at last, what I had been waiting forever to happen did. We danced.
I was dancing with some young good looking male from the department of finance when I was Severus approach. As the dance finished I heard him ask me to dance, well to tell you the truth, I felt as though all my Christmases had come at once. Fate, it seems was on my side, as it was a slow track. I melted into his arms; we seemed to fit together perfectly.
I was right about his arms- as I felt them encircle my waist, everyone else seemed to fade away and it was just the two of us, I was dancing on heavens cloud, and the spark I got every time his hand brushed my bare back was indescribable. There was a moment when I looked up at him- staring deep into his eyes. They were a deep bluey/black colour- one could drown in them, and he looked down at me and I swear he would have kissed me. But he didn't. He just looked away nervously and all too soon our dance was over, my little piece of heaven faded away with the tune. He didn't ask me to dance again. *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 11/07
Dear Diary,
Things have become rather awkward between Severus and myself. We no longer talk during the potions lessons. In fact- every word seems to pain him more and more. I felt like crying when I saw he would no longer look me in the eyes at breakfast and things steadily got worse. I want to scream at him, and tell him how I feel, I love him. Its not just a schoolgirl crush either, I live and breathe for him and for him only- he lights up the room when he enters it. I don't care if he is older than me, I don't care about what people think- I only know that im truly happy whenever he's near me. That's all that matters. *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 13/07
Dear Diary,
The best thing ever has happened- Harry has returned. He's been off to see Ginny and by all accounts she cried when she heard his voice and held his hand again. The doctors are extremely hopeful.
And he's come to stay at Hogwarts, its fantastic. I haven't stopped smiling and hugging him all day. My best friend has returned. We owled Ron when we heard he was back and all he could say was " that's bloody fantastic!" Ron, he will never change.
Things seem much clearer with Harry around. He senses that there is something wrong with me- he's always been able to. I get the feeling he is going to have a little 'talk' with me tomorrow.! *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~
Dear diary,
Its becoming more and more unbearable having to spend my hours with him- seeing him is both a pain and a pleasure- I find myself blushing at the merest glance. I'm sure Dumbledore knows- its so obvious- its there, in my eyes. I was never any good at hiding my feelings from people. I am thinking of asking for a transfer- it's not fair to myself to work like this- Im in danger of ruining my diploma. *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 4/07
Dear Diary
I will ask for a transfer- I must. This is killing me, even though it will kill me never to see him again. Why must I have done something so unlike me? ? *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 5/07
Dear Diary,
Things are getting out of hand now. Today as he was telling me about the properties of the rythanderstand potion, he leaned forward- I thought he meant to kiss me and so I closed my eyes and pursed my lips- when no kiss came, I opened my eyes and saw him reach for a jar on the shelf behind me. He must have seen me, what on earth will he think? That im some stupid giggling female? I cant help it, every time im around him I feel tingly and things suddenly seem to be a million times better; and I've found myself wondering down to the dungeons more and more often at night- I always manage to stop myself before I open the door though. Yet I still feel that, to have his arms around me would be the only way to scare off my particular night monsters. *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 7/07
Dear Diary,
Today we managed to complete a trial potion we had just sent it off to the ministry when an owl arrived- addressed to both of us- informing us of a ball. He took it as coolly as ever- but I must admit I enjoyed several moments of picturing Severus in evening dress robes.
He decided we ought to go together-, as we were colleagues, and nothing more. That bit cut into me deeply, He obviously seems me as a simple little girl. I must make him see me as a female, not just a potions assistant. And maybe this ball is the perfect opportunity.
*~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 9/07
Dear Diary,
The ball is tomorrow night and I am both nervous and excited- this is nothing like any of the balls I went to at Hogwarts and luckily my parents lent me some money so I could go shopping with Pansy and purchase some 'killer robes' her words not mine. She asked me who it was that I wanted to impress and I confess I couldn't tell her- I know she would have thought me stupid- but I feel so deeply for him. It's becoming a part of me. I just hope this ball goes ok.
*~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 10/07
Dear Diary,
The ball is tonight- in fact we have to leave in ten minutes, and I am all ready- I spent more time on my appearance tonight than I have ever done and I think it has paid off. Shall I tell you how I look? Well my dress is a pale blue and there are tiny diamante stones set in the dress so that it sparkles and twinkles like the night sky. My hair is straight (it took me forever to do-even with the magic) and is set with matching diamond clips- I have on my favourite trainers which I have charmed to look like high heeled evening shoes- yet to me they are as comfortable as trainers- perfect isn't it? My dress is quite low cut- the front is not too bad but it's a backless dress so hopefully I wont be doing much highland dancing. Oops, there is the gong- must dash – will update later.
*~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~
11/07 (the very early hours)
Dear Diary,
I feel like I am floating on air, the look of surprise on Severus's face was worth all the hours I spent on my toilette. I was complemented many many times and I was danced off my feet when we arrived at the magnificent gilded hall. I overheard a pair of old ladies discussing me, and they seemed surprised that I was "so pretty- I always expected someone that clever to be unattractive- dorky at least but she's rather pretty and surprisingly graceful"
The night just got better and better then at last, what I had been waiting forever to happen did. We danced.
I was dancing with some young good looking male from the department of finance when I was Severus approach. As the dance finished I heard him ask me to dance, well to tell you the truth, I felt as though all my Christmases had come at once. Fate, it seems was on my side, as it was a slow track. I melted into his arms; we seemed to fit together perfectly.
I was right about his arms- as I felt them encircle my waist, everyone else seemed to fade away and it was just the two of us, I was dancing on heavens cloud, and the spark I got every time his hand brushed my bare back was indescribable. There was a moment when I looked up at him- staring deep into his eyes. They were a deep bluey/black colour- one could drown in them, and he looked down at me and I swear he would have kissed me. But he didn't. He just looked away nervously and all too soon our dance was over, my little piece of heaven faded away with the tune. He didn't ask me to dance again. *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 11/07
Dear Diary,
Things have become rather awkward between Severus and myself. We no longer talk during the potions lessons. In fact- every word seems to pain him more and more. I felt like crying when I saw he would no longer look me in the eyes at breakfast and things steadily got worse. I want to scream at him, and tell him how I feel, I love him. Its not just a schoolgirl crush either, I live and breathe for him and for him only- he lights up the room when he enters it. I don't care if he is older than me, I don't care about what people think- I only know that im truly happy whenever he's near me. That's all that matters. *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ 13/07
Dear Diary,
The best thing ever has happened- Harry has returned. He's been off to see Ginny and by all accounts she cried when she heard his voice and held his hand again. The doctors are extremely hopeful.
And he's come to stay at Hogwarts, its fantastic. I haven't stopped smiling and hugging him all day. My best friend has returned. We owled Ron when we heard he was back and all he could say was " that's bloody fantastic!" Ron, he will never change.
Things seem much clearer with Harry around. He senses that there is something wrong with me- he's always been able to. I get the feeling he is going to have a little 'talk' with me tomorrow.! *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~
