God, I want this story to end…why won't it just end!

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Take My Hand

Part 14

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Have you ever noticed that the only things that are really difficult in the course of living are the things that are the most rewarding, the things that end up making your life seem worthwhile?  It may not be easy to go to school, get the best grades so that you can get into a good college, and then continue on so that you can have the job you've always wanted, but if it was easy, would it really be worth it?  Our dreams aren't dreams because they're easily accomplished, it's because we want them so badly that we're willing to put in all the seemingly endless amounts of work to reach those goals.  People don't just wake up one day and decide on a whim that they want to be a doctor, or a wife, or a mother.  It's something that takes a lot of work and planning.  And then, after you've accomplished your goals, you realize that your work has only just begun.  If life just took care of itself without any work from you, you wouldn't really be living, would you?  You'd just be playing a role, some secondary character in a farce that could go on just as well without you in it.

Before Vash, I'd had dreams and aspirations, but most of the time, I didn't really think that I'd accomplished much in my life.  I had a pretty good job that I enjoyed, very few friends, and I wasn't particularly involved in my family's home life.  But then…Vash changed everything.  He gave me new goals without even meaning to.  I think that when I looked into his eyes, I saw myself reflected there, but it was a version of me that I hadn't become quite yet.  It was the way I wanted to be when I realized that with Vash, no dream is too big for me.  We could do it together.

And then the twins came, and I thought that everything had just fallen into place so easily.  Well, granted, it took some work finding a venue to actually marry Vash and I that wouldn't be at all suspicious of his identity.  And then of course, we were still on the run.  But living in that little house out in the middle of nowhere, I didn't feel like I was running from anything.  I felt like I'd finally found my place.  Soon enough, everything settled back into a new schedule, one centered around the twins.  They were two precious bundles of joy, true enough, but they seemed to also be the neediest little things in the universe.  It helped a lot when, a month after they were born, Millie came out to stay with us, bringing along Aaron and my mother.  Dad's heart was bad, and he couldn't really make the trip, and Gavin was still mad at not being told the truth about Vash immediately.  And so, soon enough, we were a quite organized little household, all of us living every moment in the service of my babies, Rem and Nicholas.

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"You're doing wonderfully, and the babies are coming along just fine." Doc told me after setting down his stethoscope to talk to me after one of the seemingly endless post natal exams he came over for.  "And may I say, this house is coming along just fine.  You should all be very proud."

"Yes, well, I haven't been doing much work there.  I've been so busy with those two." I indicated the two babies scooting around on the newly carpeted floor.  "Everyone else has been really working at it, though.  Even Vash has, with his job and everything."  I'd found out soon after the babies were born that Vash had promised to work for the rancher that he'd work for the man, which worked out well for both of them since it gave money for Vash to support us and pay off the house as well as giving the rancher another good hand when it was so hard to find new employees.

"Well, it seems like you've got this household running like a fine-tuned machine." Doc smiled at me cheerfully.  "It's been a pleasure, as always."  He got up to leave, but of course, my mother raced in to stop him.

"Oh!  Doc, wouldn't you stay for lunch?  It'll be ready in a few minutes if I can just get Millie and Aaron to come in off the roof.  They've been up there patching shingles all morning, and it's about time for them to take a break." My mother's eyes were wide and hopeful, as though she didn't already know that the doctor would agree to stay as he did every time he came to check up on the babies and me.

"Alright then, that sounds lovely." He smiled warmly at my mother before bending down to scoop up Nicholas, patting the dark hair that emphasized the brightness of his aqua eyes.  "I think I'll help Meryl feed the babies while I'm at it.  Do you have a warm bottle or two, Mrs. Stryfe?"

"Oh!  Yes, just a moment!" she raced back into the kitchen as I bent over to pick up my daughter, who had purple-grey eyes and downy blonde hair.  Both babies were obviously happy at the attention they were receiving, chortling and cooing as we brought them into the little dining area on one side of the kitchen.  Only moments after my mother had handed us both bottles, the noises of feet could be heard on the roof, and just after that, Millie came in laughing at something Aaron had just said.

"Lunch ready mom?" Aaron asked, excited to be eating anything that our mother prepared.

"Nearly.  Why don't Millie and you move those chairs so everyone can sit down?" she asked, still putting together some sandwiches and stirring at the soup she had made.

"Hey Doc!  Nice to see you're eating with us again." Millie greeted the man with a happy wave, and he nodded slightly at her while bottle feeding Nicholas.

"Honey!  I'm home!" Just then, Vash came tramping in, looking dusty and a little tired, but no more than was usual when he came home for lunch.  It was hard work at the ranch, but he enjoyed it and since it was so close, he almost always ate all his meals with us, which was great.

"Hey Vash!" Millie almost dropped a chair as she waved exuberantly while Aaron offered my husband a slight nod.  Apparently, now that we were married, he didn't really disapprove of Vash anymore, though he was a bit wary on the outlaw topic.  Oh well, at least he wasn't being a baby about it.

"How's everyone?" he asked, coming over to me for a kiss as he looked over the babies.

"Still in perfect health, Vash." Doc assured him, shifting Nicholas slightly from one arm to the other.  The little baby boy was getting a little restless, which was almost certainly due to the fact that his father was in the room and wasn't holding him.  "You want to take him?" Doc offered, knowing well enough that Nicholas would start crying soon if he didn't get to be held by his father.

"Yeah, come here Nick, let's have some lunch." Vash's eyes lit up as he took his son in his arms, finishing the job that Doc had started with no small amount of enthusiasm.  As he fed Nicholas, singing some adorable song under his breath, my mother brought lunch to the table and ushered us into our seats.  We all sat down and I realized with a warm, happy feeling in my chest that this was where I belonged, surrounded by friends and family, all of us enjoying each other's company.  This was my home, and I never wanted to leave.

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"Mmm…Vash, wake up." I muttered, shaking the man beside me as squalling filled my ears and woke me.  It seems sometimes like babies have radar.  They start crying right when you're about to fall asleep.  I think that this happened every night since they were born.  Sometimes it was just one of them, but more often than not, it was both.  "It's your turn.  Wake up."

"Huh…uh, yeah." Vash stumbled out of bed, nearly pulling the covers off as he tripped on them in his scramble.  I sighed, trying to get a bit of peace before the babies woke up again and I was the one standing around, rocking them and singing to them.  I loved the babies more than most anything in the world, but sometimes I wondered if they would ever spend an entire night sleeping.  I was just starting to drift off when the weight on the bed shifted, and a very tired Vash climbed back in next to me, moving close and wrapping his arms around me.  "Love you."

"Love you too." I replied, making a soft noise of contentment as he kissed the back of my neck several times.  I could tell that he was feeling less than tired, but I didn't really want to waste what little sleep I could get.  However, ever since the babies were born, we really hadn't had time to do much of anything together, so I didn't feel right just brushing him off.  Turning toward him, I kissed his lips slowly, thinking that maybe he'd think that was good enough.  After all, he must have been tired as well.  But the kiss only encouraged him, his hands kneading into my back as he deepened the contact, his whole body pressing against mine as though I hadn't touched him in longer than either of us could remember and he didn't want it to end anytime soon.  I could feel that he was ready, and with a burst of shock, I realized that I wanted him more than I wanted sleep.  I was tired, I was worn out, but we hadn't made love in so long, I couldn't say no to those hands on my back, his lips moving down my throat, his hips grinding against mine.  It was all too much, and I let out a long, trembling moan.

"Sshh, Mer, we don't want to wake up the babies." He whispered, breath hot in my ear, and I nodded frantically.  There was no way I wanted this to be interrupted now that we'd finally gotten around to it again.  And then, my mother and Millie were across the hall, with Aaron out on the couch in the main room.  I didn't want to wake them up, but I'd never really done anything with Vash with anyone else in the same house as us, so it was hard to keep quiet.  I figured that the best plan was to do everything as fast as possible so that we had less chance of being interrupted by another outburst from the babies, so I reached down and immediately began working at the waistband of the loose pants Vash wore to bed, pulling him on top of me and wrapping my legs around him.  I finally got the pants down and I ground up against him, causing Vash to bite his lip as he muffled a loud moan.  Leaning down, he kissed his way to my ear.  "I love you so much." His breath was coming in short, urgent gasps as he pulled at my nightgown, tossing it aside before attacking my lips again, swallowing the noises that I made as he reached down, moving his hand to ready me before finally pushing himself inside.

It had been so long, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful it was to have him inside of me, pressing, pulling, making me feel as though my universe centered around the feeling of him against me.  My fingers moved over his arms, pausing on each scar and then up and over his chest, taking in every blemish as something utterly familiar, some further proof that this was Vash, and I loved him, and this was what he felt like against me, inside me, around me.  He broke the lengthened kiss as breathing became difficult, and I bit down on my lip to keep from crying out as we moved, coming closer and closer to the completion both of us craved.

And then the air was rent with the sound of a squalling child.  Vash and I froze for a moment, looking around as if we thought that maybe the child would simply go back to sleep, but only moments later, a second voice joined the first and he collapsed on my chest with a heavy sigh before dissolving into laughter.  He moved off of me, and I felt an emptiness I had no time to dwell on.  After all, my babies needed me.

I guess that's what it is to be a mother.  Your children always come first, no matter what.

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"Come on!  Come here Rem!" Aaron was on the ground, trying in vain to tempt my daughter away from the table she was using to hold herself upright.  He was convinced that the babies were ready to walk, and though they were just about old enough, I didn't think they would start any faster with him sitting on the ground trying to bribe them with baby biscuits and other such things.  Vash had actually come the closest to getting one of the babies to walk, since all he had to do was stand still for a good five seconds, and that was enough to have Nicholas scrambling toward him as fast as he could move.  Of course, he stuck to crawling for the time being, but the babies were almost a year old, and it was sure that they would start walking soon enough.

"You'll never get her to come like that." Gavin entered the room then.  After staying with us for almost two months, Millie had taken my mom and brother home, but they oftentimes visited us.  Gavin was long since over his grudge against Vash, and he had started visiting with Aaron about five months ago.  They were currently both on the floor, playing with Rem and Nicholas while I sat on the couch, sipping tea and waiting for Vash to finish making dinner so we could all eat.

"Oh, then I'd like to see you get her to walk!" Aaron was highly insulted at Gavin questioning his knowledge of babies.

"You two, she'll walk when she's ready." I reminded them for about the hundredth time.  I sometimes thought that they were amazingly immature for men their age, but sometimes Vash could be just as bad and he was at least three times their age.  "Gavin, please don't give those candies to Nicholas.  He'll choke on them." I told my brother as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a taffy.

"No way!  He loves them." Gavin affirmed, but he did put the candy back in his pocket with a sullen frown.  Aaron had finally given up on Rem walking and was moving over to where Nicholas was building a tower out of blocks, intent on helping his nephew out.  I smiled as I watched Gavin grab up Rem's favorite doll and use it as bait to try and make her walk now that Aaron had given up.

"Hey honey." Vash came in the living room, which caused Nicholas to stand up on shaky feet, knocking his tower over despite Aaron's attempts to save it.  "Dinner should be ready in a few minutes." He kissed my cheek and sat next to me on the couch.  "I've just got to wait for the biscuits to be done." Wrapping an arm around my shoulders he smiled at his son who was still standing, big aqua eyes wide as he watched his favorite person in the world sitting next to me.

"Da!" he cried out the only discernible syllable that we'd been able to coax out of him yet.  "Da!"

"Hey, Nick." Vash spoke to his son. "What are you up to over there with Uncle Aaron?"

"Da!" Nicholas cried out again, pointing as he stumbled forward and almost fell, but managed to push himself back up on his feet.  "Da!" And then something amazing happened.  Gavin dropped the doll he'd been holding as Nicholas slowly but surely walked over to Vash before wrapping his arms around his leg and crying out again.  "Da!"

"Oh my god!  He did it!" Aaron was obviously very excited, as he'd been trying to get the babies to walk for almost a month now.  "Gavin, did you see that?  He walked!"

"I know!  Way to go, Nick!" Gavin's eyes were bright with excitement as well.  "Oh man, mom's gonna be so jealous when we tell her!"  Vash had swept his son up into his arms and was plastering his face with happy kisses as the baby chortled, not sure what had caused so much commotion, but pleased to be receiving so much loving attention from his father.

"Did you see, Meryl?  Did you see him walking?" Vash looked as though he might start crying, and I wouldn't have been surprised if he did.  After the first time Nicholas had called him "da" Vash had burst into tears and hugged the baby, refusing to put him down for nearly two hours.

"Such a good boy." I leaned over, planting a few of my own kisses on Nicholas's face, much to his exuberance.  Whenever Vash was in the room, he'd only stay put if he was in my arms, which made me feel special, but of course, I was his mother.

"Man…I want kids." Aaron sighed, leaning back and reaching to scoop up Rem so that she wouldn't feel left out.  "Wanna come home with me, Remy?"

"Don't take her!  She's the cute one!" Gavin made as if to pull Rem away, instead tickling the baby's sides.  "Nick looks way too much like Merry."

"You two…" I rolled my eyes.  At least they didn't insult Vash anymore.  Well, not seriously.

"Oh!  I better get the biscuits!" Vash ran off, still carrying Nick, bouncing the child who was now howling with delighted laughter.  "Dinner's ready everyone!  Come and get it!"  I smiled, setting down my tea and taking my daughter from Gavin and Aaron before continuing on to the kitchen where dinner was set out, with Vash still at the stove, filling a bowl with biscuits to put with the rest of the offerings.

"Vash?" I came behind him, both of us still holding babies.  "I love you."

"I love you, Meryl." He assured me, his eyes soft and swirling as he turned to bend down and drop a kiss on my cheek.  Complicated though it might be, I didn't believe that any sort of life could be as happy and good as mine.

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The End (Of Part 14, That Is)