A/N: would ya lookit that! Somebody's reading this! *waves madly* HI!!!
OY, um, I've just realized that I have MAJOR physical inaccuracy here.
FOLLOWING COMMENT GIVING AWAY INFORMATION READER MAY NOT WANT TO KNOW. IT WILL RUIN THE STORY FOR YOU, TRUST ME...
I'm following a calendar of February 1985 instead of 1995! AAAAAAAAARGH!!!! So just pretend that that's not inaccurate, okay? This is AU. Alternate Universe. Different Reality. So HAH!!!
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::FEBRUARY NINETH, SATURDAY; AFTER LUNCH; HOGSMEADE; ONE WEEK UNTIL THE VALENTINES DAY DANCE::
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"Okay," Hermione said calmly, attempting to calm a somewhat hyperventilating Ron and Harry down over three mugs of butterbeer. "It's okay you two, just take deep, calming breaths, we'll get through this... now, now. Tell me again /exactly/ what you heard before. Shh, it's okay - no, don't choke - take a drink and tell me..."
It was like handling poor pathetic children who had been traumatized. Which they had been, technically, but it just seemed so /unlike/ Remus Lupin to... and seemed quite EVEN MORE unlikely if whatever-it-was included Madame Pomfrey and Snape.
Harry and Ron told her the same story about a hundred times again and again until she managed to calm them down completely.
"There, there. I think I've figured it out, you two. OY! THREE MORE BUTTERBEERS! Stop that sniffing, Ron, geeze!"
"I had nightmares," Ron said hollowly.
"Me too," Harry echoed.
Hermione gave an exasperated sigh as the butterbeers arrived.
"I'm sorry you two, I really am," she said. "Now, Professor Lupin, Madame Pomfrey, and Professor Snape are *not* a threesome. Okay? Repeat after me,"
"Professor Lupin, Madame Pomfrey, and Professor Snape are not a threesome," Harry repeated dully. Ron made some miserable sounds into his mug and Harry patted his back sympathetically.
A moment of silence passed, in which the trio did nothing but drink and stare off into space.
"I know you don't believe that, Hermione," Ron said after a long while. "You just don't think it's /like/ them to,"
"Yeah, not to mention the unwanted mental images!" Harry put in.
"Does this mean you two are feeling better?" Hermione asked.
They nodded their confirmation.
"Good," she sighed. "Because I think I'm going to be sick. Imagine what those other girls are going to do once they find out! If you two managed to hear what was up, then it's only a matter of time before..."
The three shivered.
"Let's tell him," Hermione decided finally. "You know, how, erm, admired he is. Lupin'll need to be on his guard, in case anybody else finds out."
"No, way!" Ron interjected. "If he's going to traumatize Harry and I he might as well suffer..."
"At the hands of every girl in the school," Hermione cut in, swooping down on the two boys. "And it's none of our business what our best professor does in the bedroom with others! None! Nada! Zippo!"
"But if we tell him that we know about his love life," Harry started innocently, "he'll want to now how we found out. And so will Snape and Pomfrey, and then Ron and I will be in big trouble."
He widened his big green eyes for emphasis.
Hermione sat down with a sigh. "Yeah, I guess you're right. But he still needs to be on guard. I mean, who knows who else was sneaking around last night. Somebody right now could have listened to us and that someone might have been a girl. Or another teacher."
They all three suddenly froze and (deviously) looked around.
The noise level was pretty high, and the only familiar faces were Lavender and Parvati at a table across the room (bent over something and focusing on it with brows furrowed and lips pursed) and Professor McGonagall and Flitwick, sitting at the table to their left.
"Well. . ." Ron paused. "Yeah, okay. Let's go find him."
"Yeah," Harry sighed, and stood up.
The trio paid for their drinks and left the pub.
Unbeknownst to them ((but knownst to us)) two ladies looked up from their plate ((which had been speaking to them, and had just finished relaying Harry, Ron, and Hermione's conversation)). "Well," Lavender said, voice homicidal.
She and Parvati had decided to keep an eye on "mione" ever since the "mione" incident.
"We have a couple of teachers to take care of," Parvati whispered, cracking her knuckles. Their eyes met, and slowly they stood.
As they left the pub, McGonagall and Flitwick stared at each other with wide eyes.
"Severus!" Flitwick sputtered.
"I didn't think it possible, either," McGonagall agreed.
"Poppy!" Flitwick continued to choke out, going into a slow sense of shock.
"We shall have to do something about this."
"Remus!" Flitwick continued, clearly not listening to a word McGonagall had said.
"Come, let's alert the others," McGonagall got to her feet and, dragging Flitwick by the hair on his chinny-chin-chin, exited the pub.
FOLLOWING COMMENT GIVING AWAY INFORMATION READER MAY NOT WANT TO KNOW. IT WILL RUIN THE STORY FOR YOU, TRUST ME...
I'm following a calendar of February 1985 instead of 1995! AAAAAAAAARGH!!!! So just pretend that that's not inaccurate, okay? This is AU. Alternate Universe. Different Reality. So HAH!!!
.
.
~
::FEBRUARY NINETH, SATURDAY; AFTER LUNCH; HOGSMEADE; ONE WEEK UNTIL THE VALENTINES DAY DANCE::
~
.
.
"Okay," Hermione said calmly, attempting to calm a somewhat hyperventilating Ron and Harry down over three mugs of butterbeer. "It's okay you two, just take deep, calming breaths, we'll get through this... now, now. Tell me again /exactly/ what you heard before. Shh, it's okay - no, don't choke - take a drink and tell me..."
It was like handling poor pathetic children who had been traumatized. Which they had been, technically, but it just seemed so /unlike/ Remus Lupin to... and seemed quite EVEN MORE unlikely if whatever-it-was included Madame Pomfrey and Snape.
Harry and Ron told her the same story about a hundred times again and again until she managed to calm them down completely.
"There, there. I think I've figured it out, you two. OY! THREE MORE BUTTERBEERS! Stop that sniffing, Ron, geeze!"
"I had nightmares," Ron said hollowly.
"Me too," Harry echoed.
Hermione gave an exasperated sigh as the butterbeers arrived.
"I'm sorry you two, I really am," she said. "Now, Professor Lupin, Madame Pomfrey, and Professor Snape are *not* a threesome. Okay? Repeat after me,"
"Professor Lupin, Madame Pomfrey, and Professor Snape are not a threesome," Harry repeated dully. Ron made some miserable sounds into his mug and Harry patted his back sympathetically.
A moment of silence passed, in which the trio did nothing but drink and stare off into space.
"I know you don't believe that, Hermione," Ron said after a long while. "You just don't think it's /like/ them to,"
"Yeah, not to mention the unwanted mental images!" Harry put in.
"Does this mean you two are feeling better?" Hermione asked.
They nodded their confirmation.
"Good," she sighed. "Because I think I'm going to be sick. Imagine what those other girls are going to do once they find out! If you two managed to hear what was up, then it's only a matter of time before..."
The three shivered.
"Let's tell him," Hermione decided finally. "You know, how, erm, admired he is. Lupin'll need to be on his guard, in case anybody else finds out."
"No, way!" Ron interjected. "If he's going to traumatize Harry and I he might as well suffer..."
"At the hands of every girl in the school," Hermione cut in, swooping down on the two boys. "And it's none of our business what our best professor does in the bedroom with others! None! Nada! Zippo!"
"But if we tell him that we know about his love life," Harry started innocently, "he'll want to now how we found out. And so will Snape and Pomfrey, and then Ron and I will be in big trouble."
He widened his big green eyes for emphasis.
Hermione sat down with a sigh. "Yeah, I guess you're right. But he still needs to be on guard. I mean, who knows who else was sneaking around last night. Somebody right now could have listened to us and that someone might have been a girl. Or another teacher."
They all three suddenly froze and (deviously) looked around.
The noise level was pretty high, and the only familiar faces were Lavender and Parvati at a table across the room (bent over something and focusing on it with brows furrowed and lips pursed) and Professor McGonagall and Flitwick, sitting at the table to their left.
"Well. . ." Ron paused. "Yeah, okay. Let's go find him."
"Yeah," Harry sighed, and stood up.
The trio paid for their drinks and left the pub.
Unbeknownst to them ((but knownst to us)) two ladies looked up from their plate ((which had been speaking to them, and had just finished relaying Harry, Ron, and Hermione's conversation)). "Well," Lavender said, voice homicidal.
She and Parvati had decided to keep an eye on "mione" ever since the "mione" incident.
"We have a couple of teachers to take care of," Parvati whispered, cracking her knuckles. Their eyes met, and slowly they stood.
As they left the pub, McGonagall and Flitwick stared at each other with wide eyes.
"Severus!" Flitwick sputtered.
"I didn't think it possible, either," McGonagall agreed.
"Poppy!" Flitwick continued to choke out, going into a slow sense of shock.
"We shall have to do something about this."
"Remus!" Flitwick continued, clearly not listening to a word McGonagall had said.
"Come, let's alert the others," McGonagall got to her feet and, dragging Flitwick by the hair on his chinny-chin-chin, exited the pub.
