Too old to die young, too young to die now.
As far as I understand it, Henry Hudson Regional High School is the home of the Admirals, or something…
Anyhoo.
I felt like writing this.
My life is going so quickly, I can't believe it. I mean, I'm only 30 fucking years old!
T-H-I-R-T-Y!
God, I wish I could take back half of the brash, insensitive crap that I've done to people in the past 25 to 27 comprehensible years of my life. Like the way I treated Alyssa… I should never have done that. I should've been happy for Holden and Alyssa. Maybe they'd still be together. Maybe they'd be married, with children, and a better career.
But then again, I might never have fallen in love with Hooper. Alyssa and Holden changed my life in the way that they made me more aware of my sexuality. Maybe they're already aware of this. Maybe they planned it. Maybe they're happy for me, like I should have been happy for them.
I never, ever, EVER thought that I'd wish to start all over again in high school. But I do wish I was back in good ol' Henry Hudson Regional… Yep. That place was my stomping grounds from September of 1984 'til June of 1988. I remember every painful detail of my life there, and I would definitely trade my current life for my teenage one.
I pulled out the yearbook the other day. Flipping through the pages of the Blue Horizon, I remembered myself back in my days of being an Admiral, or as Randal Graves used to call me, "Rear-Admiral". Yeah. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I loved high school.
I was a Varsity bowler, and I had several letters for bowling. I often showed up at field hockey practice, even though it is a girls' sport. I remember that Coach McMaster would always yell at me because I was a boy, but then she'd let me play, as long as I always took on the role of the Rival team. It didn't bother me all that much, but I learned that girls go for the kill when they play field hockey. Especially Brandi Svenning, and Gwen Turner, who continually kicked my ass, despite the fact that they're two years younger than me. That doesn't make the teenage me a wuss, does it?
I was in soccer in my freshman year, but I decided that it was stupid to play something that could be done better if you replaced the field with ice, replaced the ball with a puck, and gave the players helmets, skates, sticks, and a license to legally beat the crap out of one another on the ice.
I also attempted wrestling in my freshman year. The main problem that I had was that it took place at Keyport High School. In any event, it was fun, until I had to wrestle a smelly, hairy guy from an opposing school. I still remember that match, and I remember the stench… The Molotov cocktail of rotten eggs, dog shit, sweat, cheap soap, and rags that was Milton Polanski.
Man, if I had known then what I know now…
Man, if I had known then what I know now…
I would have done things differently.
