A/N: This chapter was very fun to write, one of the most enjoyable so far. It's not really very serious, but it had to be done. I'm so sorry that these last few chapters have been coming out so late, it's just that I've been seized by the evil writer's block. And I won't try to get anybody's hopes up...truth is, the next chapter might take another month to get out, but if I get inspired, who knows? Could be in a week. Thanks to all who reviewed, I really appreciate it! I wrote to you at the bottom... Enjoy!

Voldemort's Worst Scandal

Chapter Eight

Ah, the Joy of Watching Villains Suffer

Lucius Malfoy gingerly accepted the vial of Portkey-in-a-Jar from the hand of Voldemort. Wormtail did the same, and was staring down at the vial filled with formidable, hissing liquid he held. It was all he could do to keep himself from "accidentally" dropping it on the floor and running away. Or, even better, tossing it into Lucius Malfoy's face.

"Now," Voldemort began, looking upon his most faithful Death Eater and his puny servant with great amusement, "This Portkey-In-A-Jar will take you either to 1692, 1254, or 987. You must be prepared to take immediate action when you find the group of students. Here is the detector device you must use when you get there, and you must stay in the time you are in for at least an hour before you may perform the Charm to come back to the future. Remember, Potter and Malfoy are the only ones to be spared. Kill the others."

"Yes, Master," Lucius replied. Wormtail just gulped. Lucius rolled his eyes. "On three, then," he said, raising his vial, "One, two, three!"

But instead of drinking his, Lucius pretended to, while Wormtail drank his. Voldemort and Lucius roared with laughter, and Voldemort clapped Lucius on the back. "I knew you were going to do that!" he laughed. With a grin, Lucius downed the liquid in his vial, froze, and disappeared just like Wormtail had a moment before.

With a big bump, Lucius landed, to hear people screaming.

"A witch!"

"Burn the witch!"

"A witch is in our midst!"

Lucius was dragged roughly to his feet, and, too dazed from time-travel to do anything, was dragged roughly into a building full of long wooden benches of people. The people were all dressed in old-fashioned clothing and were staring at him. Wormtail was nowhere in sight. At the head of the room, there was a big desk where a judge-like person was sitting, and there were a bunch of little girls sitting on the benches in front. As Lucius came forward, the girls hurled themselves onto the floor, clutching at the floorboards, screaming, howling, and tearing their nails as they groped at the floorboards.

"He's a witch!" one of them screamed, "His spirit is pouring hot oil onto me!"

"And he's the one who has been causing the disease among children!"

The girls were screaming still. Lucius just stared. They were acting just like Draco had as a child! He rolled his eyes. This must be the year 1692, and he was in the midst of the Salem Witch Trials.

The judge-like person at the big desk said to Lucius, "Do thee deny that thou art a witch and therefore must be burned at the stake?"

"On what grounds?" Lucius snarled, deciding to play along for fun.

"We all saw you appear out of nowhere!" the judge man replied. "And these girls' testimony clearly shows-"

"So you believe the lies of a few spoiled children?" asked Lucius. He had heard of the Salem Witch Trials, but he had never imagined that it would be this bad. Even to a Death Eater.

"They are not lies! These children are clearly troubled, and they have hereby announced many witches! So do thee or do thee not deny that thou art a witch and therefore must be burned at the stake?"

"Uh...let me think about that," Lucius said, an evil grin on his face. He whipped the Harry Potter detector device out of his pocket and, holding it up in front of everyone in the meetinghouse, pushed the little black button that was on it, making it whir and spin. A stream of smoke came out of it as it spun, and the words, "Harry Potter is not here," were spelled out in the smoke. "Darn!" Lucius cursed, unhappy. Now he had to stay here in this time and contend with all of these idiots for an hour. Getting an idea, he put up his hands and shouted, "I summon the powers of evil! Come to me!"

He pulled out his wand and conjured sparks, causing the villagers to draw closer to one another in an enormous huddle. Lucius conjured a wind to make his robes and air whip around. And then, he yelled, "Do not mess with the powers of evil!"

"Burn him!" shouted the magistrate.

"Who in Voldemort's NAME do you think you ARE?" Lucius exploded. "You POUNCE on every man you find and accuse him of being a witch, just to have something to DO! You trust the judgment of little GIRLS over your own common sense, just to have someone to blame your problems on! This is an OUTRAGE! Absolutely scandalous! I can't believe it!"

"Why?" asked one of the frightened townsmen,

"It's VOLDEMORT'S job, you fool!"

And with that, he stormed out of the room.

No one followed him.

***

Wormtail had been hiding in the back of the meetinghouse, too afraid to go to Lucius's aid. He just pulled his cloak over his face, hid in the corner of the room, and watched, finally seeing Lucius leave the room. Now, it was filled with gasps, crying, and cries of, "Witch-hunt!" and, "Burn the witch!"

As chaos took over, he went to leave the meetinghouse but it was blocked by crazed townspeople. Wormtail tried to cover his face with his cloak to hide that he was not a villager, but it didn't work. A woman saw him and shouted, "A stranger! A stranger is in our midst!"

The townspeople had then forgotten Lucius and were engrossed with Wormtail.

"Where did you come from?" one asked.

"Who are you?"

"Oh, dear," said Wormtail, looking blankly at the faces of the townspeople. He blinked. Then, getting the idea to leave, he Apparated out of the meetinghouse.

***

Their journey had been underway for a short while when a piercing scream rang through the forest. It was Ginny, who was sitting in the back of the canoe. An impossibly huge, indistinguishable shape was heading their way....

Ginny was torn out of the canoe and pulled into the water. Allegra shrieked right along with Ginny as the indistinguishable shape soon took the form of a giant sea serpent! It must have gotten into the large river through the sea. The serpent was going faster than the canoe, so Ron and Malachi dove into the water to go after it. Malachi was unsuccessful, but Ron managed to get ahold of the Serpent's tail. He thought quickly, but had to keep gasping for breath as the serpent tried to cast him off. But he held on tight, fueled by his little sister's screams.

Ron's thoughts landed on a certain time in the past, involving a troll. He saw that further up the river, there was a log hanging over the river, acting like a bridge. Without hesitating, he shouted, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

The log rose into the air, and he made it land right onto the serpent's head. It worked, and the serpent was struck unconscious, but there was still one problem. Ginny was in the serpent's mouth, being gripped by its teeth, and the serpent was sinking into the water after being stricken unconscious.

Sighing, then taking a huge breath, Ron dove into the water after the serpent. He caught onto its slimy tail, and he moved along the serpent's body until he found Ginny. He grabbed her hand, and he was relieved that she grabbed back-she was still conscious. Together, they fought to free her, and finally she came out of the serpent's mouth. They swam to safety quickly.

They broke through the surface of the water, gasping for breath. Ron supported Ginny, who had no energy left to float. They were pulled into the boat and, thanks to Hermione's endless supply of spells, their clothes were dry and set with renewed Warming Charms. Allegra held Ron so tightly that he had to tell her to knock it off before he suffocated, because she seemed afraid to let go, in case Ron should disappear again if she did.

And Draco just sat there coolly, basically ignoring them all.

"Hey, Rudy," Ron asked of him, "Why didn't you try to help my sister?"

"And get my hair all full of pond water? I think not." Malfoy replied.

"It's river water, not pond water," corrected Hermione.

"Whatever."

"I think you were afraid of the serpent," said Ron.

"I was NOT!" Draco shouted.

"Someday, Rudy, you'll learn that being brave comes with being a man...and if you're not brave, you can kiss it goodbye." Ron said with a grin, and ducked as Draco aimed a punch at him.

A/N: Thanks for being so patient with me, everybody! Please review!

nut job: the site I use for the stones is Thanks for the review!

AgiVega: LOL, I've learned to love cliffies! And guess where I got the idea that they would be fun? Your fics, of course! (the best ever!) Haha, I agree with what you said about Hagrid calling Fleur 'Professor" and the thing about the accent...if I ever get the energy, I'll fix it ;) Thanks!

Bamboo Anime: So, how have you been? I'm so excited, I might be going to NYC again soon! Yes, I love Manhattan, I just wish I could see the rest as well. Sorry about not posting sooner, I just have writer's block. I did, however, write the entire last chapter of this fic while I was inspired this morning, lol. Thanks for the review!

Gold Dragon of Egypt: LOL! I agree, down with Cho! I do like Harry and Hermione, too, though, but Harry and Ginny are definitely great! Draco will change, though, you'll see...just remember how in the prologue Hermione was able to see through him...

A Mysterious Black Cat (Bastet): Hi! Thanks for reviewing, I really appreciate it. It was you who got me to get off my lazy butt and finish this chapter! Haha, have fun with the other Shadows, play nice, and don't let the Dragon singe your tail! (lol)

weirdo_without_a_clue: Thanks for the review! Yes, Harry lives, but maybe he won't if I have a sequel...and that is a MAYBE. Muahahaha!!! And you're right, the Dark Lord does have it easy. Lucky him.