-===========-Harry Potter And the Secret Love Diaries -===========-

Snape's dairy

Something's wrong with this school…. EVERYONE'S GAY!!!

Especially POTTER! (spits)

He keeps drooling all over my benches while staring at Malfoy (Looks out the window dreamily.

DAMN HIPPY'S!!!

FREE LOVE SUCKS!!!

I'm gonna die a virgin.

But I'm not gay (or am I?)

(No, don't think do so.)

Snape

Ron's Diary

SNAPE WILL DIE A VIRGIN!!! (God, at least this rumour doesn't have anything to do with

*Laughs* *snorts*

Ron

Sirius' Diary

Harry,

I am your father

I am your father

I am your father

I am your father

Hmmm… no, how to break it to him. Yes, I know what your thinking, I, Sirius Black, am Harry Potter's father.

Well, it all happened one dark but cozy winter's day when everyone but James and I were in Hogsmeade buying stink bombs… we sat close together, by the fire keeping warm, breathing in each other's breath….

….. and then Lily walked in, so I screwed her (hey, what was supposed to do?"

From the totally pissed, real father of Harry Potter.