Hey guys

Hey guys. Took a long time to get this chapter out. Sorry. Anyway, I tried to answer your questions from the reviews in here. If you're still confused, mail me at dartstipe@yahoo.com

Jet

Chapter 9

He was going to die. That's how much it hurt. Every bone in his body, his nerve endings, his fingernails hurt! Everything hurt. He just wanted to break down and cry, but he couldn't. The Perfect Soldier wouldn't let him.

Just let me cry. I just want to cry. Just once. It'll help me. No. Crying is weakness. Weakness is death. Don't you get it?! I'm dying ALREADY! Your body is perfectly fine. Are you nuts?! I'm in pain! P-A-I-N! Pain is irrelevant. Shut up Heero. Just because you don't suffer from pain doesn't mean I don't. I don't care what you feel boy. You're not important any more. I am too important! You're the one who's not important! The war is over Heero. I don't need you anymore. I wish someone would hit me on the head again so I'd forget you.

You'll never forget me Aiden. Your memories are too painful to forget. I'll always be with you. I'll be waiting….

Heero began to shake, even though that hurt. First his shoulders shook, then his whole body. He wrapped himself in the soft comforter of his bed and grabbed onto the pillows. Tears of pain and agony began to pour out of his eyes. With the help of his torn body and loads of medicine, Aiden had won at last.

"Heero? Are you alright?" Jet asked through his barely opened door.

"GO AWAY!" The perfect soldier shrieked, trying to get a hold of his body, but it wouldn't listen. I can't let her see me like this! No, no, no! Weakness is death, that's what I was taught! No! He was losing control, had been ever since his stupid injury.

Aiden sobbed. He couldn't stop himself. He hurt so much, and he knew he was dying. KNEW it, as a fact. Of course, the fact that one is on 56 med. pills, 13 vitamins, and 29 different painkillers might lead to that realization.

"Heero!" Before he could say anything, Ralara was there, cradling him in her arms. She let him cry out his pain on her shoulders, all the while soothing him like she would a frightened child.

When his crying was done, he looked up and whispered, "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"No." She reassured, giving him a small kiss. It took a moment before they realized what she had done. Color flushed her cheeks, and she hurried out.

"Wait, Ralara…" Heero called, but she was gone. Man. That was the perfect opportunity to tell her too. You don't need too. That's what you think.

Heero knew he needed to get up. Today Trowa's circus troop was performing, and the act Trowa and Dakota had worked out would be in it. He lifted himself up and over to his wheelchair with the bars beside his bed. Once he was in his wheelchair, he had no problem wheeling across the room to his crutches.

I wish I could wear these. It'd be a lot easier…I'll help you. You will? Yes. Why? Don't ask questions. Aiden took his crutches and stood up, wincing at the pain. The Perfect Soldier hadn't lied though, it hurt a lot less then it should have. It took him a minute to get the straps on his arms right, and then he was off.

He took the elevator. Even with the soldier's help, Aiden didn't dare go down those stairs. * 'Ding.' He had arrived at the family floor, the ground floor. Swinging in he announced his presence softly.

"Hi Quatre."

Quatre yelped, jumping about six feet in the air. The startled Arabian turned around, and was even more surprised to see Heero there. Especially in crutches.

"Where is your wheelchair?" He asked incredulously.

"Upstairs. It'd be useless at the circus." He said quietly. The blonde looked ready to argue, but gave in. He knew Heero was right.

"I'll get your medicine." Quatre told him. He had been elected to take care of Heero's medicine because he had the best memory. Besides, growing up with twenty-nine sisters meant that there had been lots of medicine at their house.

While Quatre was rounding up the medicine, Heero poured himself some water. He made sure he got plenty, since there were plenty of pills to swallow. Then he sat down at their floating bar.

Quatre came over in a few minutes with Heero's pills in separate glasses. One held the fifty-six medicine pills, another had the thirteen painkillers that were necessary to keep him conscious, and the last held the twenty-nine vitamins that replace all the nutrients he lost during the day. Heero swallowed each one with a large swig of water.

"Yuck. Never swallow eighty-six pills Quatre. It sucks." Heero said quietly, making himself shudder.

"I don't plan on it. Gundam training was enough for me. I never want to see medicine again." The boy said. For a moment, Quatre's turquoise eyes became haunted. Soon they cleared however, and Quatre was normal again.

While in training, the pilots had been injected with anything from morphine to stryctnide. The whole process had been terribly painful, even for Heero. Each of them wondered if the others had gone through the same torture, but were too ashamed to ask.

"Morning Quatre, morning Heero!" Ice Berk greeted cheerfully from the stairs. The girls had moved camp to the quest floor when they had been asked out. Ralara and Dakota were orphans, so they appreciated the housing. J'Amier had been living alone anyway, at age 19 she was on her own. Ice and Sky lived with other family members who always were trying to push them out anyway. Moving was not a problem for any of them.

"Good morning Ice. May I offer you some tea?"

"Hello."

Ice laughed. There certainly was a large gap between Heero and Quatre's manners. She had heard that Heero was a hundred times better then he had been. How they even communicated before she didn't know. Maybe they didn't communicate…an interesting thought.

"Sure Quatre. I'd love some. Is anyone else up yet? She asked, sitting on a stool across from Heero.

"No." Quatre answered simply, getting up to answer the call of the teapot. "Unless you count Trowa and Dakota, but they had to be there really early anyway. " He brought over three steaming cups with holders on the teacup tray Trowa had given him for his 17th birthday.

Heero looked at Quatre with raised brows, but took the cup offered to him. How'd he know what I needed? Then again, he's probably had a lot of practice with sickness. The boy closed his aged eyes and took a sip, letting the warmth calm him churning stomach. His medicine was very powerful, it made him terribly sick to the stomach.

"Hey Quatre, is Heero sleepin?" A loud and obnoxious voice asked. Duo. Figures someone like him would have to ruin his private moments.

"Shh Duo! Be quiet. The boy never gets a quiet moment, especially with you around. Let him have some peace."

That was Ralara. Always worrying, always caring. She had taken it upon herself to see him through whatever was wrong with him. She had proven that this morning.

"Sorry. Say Ralara, have you kissed him yet?" He asked coyly.

"No." Heero didn't open his eyes, but he heard Ralara's confusion in her voice. "Why would I do that?"

"I've caught you staring at him. You just sit there when he's asleep and watch him. No distractions or-" Duo's speech was cut short when he found his mouth suddenly full.

When Sky finally stopped, duo was wide-eyed and red. He just kind of stood there in shock. "Wa…What was that for?"

Sky smiled secretly, looking, as Duo phrased, 'extremely hot.' "I was distracting you."

"Oh." Duo paused, then grinned wickedly. Relaxing against the sink and the cupboards below it, the boy always ready for action decided to play up the scene. "Wanna distract me some more?" he invited, opening him mouth slightly.

Sky was more then happy to comply. The kissed for several minutes, making the others wonder how long they could hold their breath. The couple's activities began to get a bit more heated with Sky working her way down Duo's neck. J'Amier was the one who broke up the scene, shouting;

"Oui! There are other people here you know!"

The braided one turned red again, pushing Sky away from him gently. He was gasping. Perhaps they had waited too long to stop the two.

"Duo, I think you should go take a cold shower. A very cold one. Sky, you probably should too." It was Wu Fei, his eyes cold. A secret pain was there too, hidden behind his cold mask. The Chinese man did not seem pleased with the public display of affection.

"Hehe. D'you see all of that?" He asked. Wu Fei's glare was answer enough. Not daring to sneak a peek at the rest of the pilots, especially Heero, Duo slunk out. Sky followed.

Heero had opened him eyes by now. They were hard jewels, angry and ashamed that Duo would dare do that in front of them. Sky didn't get a break from the harsh critic either; she was at least as guilty, if not more, as she tempted him. He scowled. Maybe you should move to Duo's head Heero. Nah. I enjoy your company Aiden. Besides, that man has more emotions then I can control. *snicker* I didn't know it was possible to control you. Shut up.

A thought came to mind. "Hey, you two! Separate floors!" He hollered.

"Yes Heero." The two sighed, voices faint by now.

After the couple left, there was silence in the room. Everyone was either looking at someone else or the floor. Some were studying the ceiling, and Heero was buried in his arms. How do you continue after something like that?

Luckily, Quatre came to the rescue. "Tea anyone?"

Hours later, at the noon circus show…

"Hey! There's Trowa! Hi Trowa!" Duo yelled from their VIP seats. ** He was watching the procession closely with one arm around Sky, the other full of cotton candy and other assorted food.

Trowa acknowledged Duo's shouts with a nod in the man's direction. Even this amount of attention was enough to get Duo whooping. "He nodded at me! He heard me! Dude, this is so cool!" The boy freaked.

"For the love of Nataku Maxwell, calm yourself!" Wu Fei exclaimed. He needn't have said anything, Sky had just decked him for making catcalls at the parading girls.

"Why do you say that?" Ice asked.

"Wu Fei wiped his face of all emotion or knowledge. "Say what?"

"For the love of Nataku. Who's Nataku? Why do you love her?" Ice asked, not knowing she had touched a very private and painful topic.

The Chinese boy reacted the way any man who was still grieving for his secret and dead wife would. He lashed out on the girl who probably cared most about him. "Stay out of it woman. But while there was anger in his voice, there was pain in his eyes.

"Alright." Ice stayed quiet for the rest of the circus, leaving Wu Fei in a tangle of his own thoughts.

Meanwhile, Quatre and J'Amier were having a great time, perhaps as good of a time as Duo and his date. As usual, Quatre was making small talk between acts, commenting on the size of he tent or types of animals here. Sometimes the conversation would switch to J'Amier or himself, and they learned tings their friends didn't even know, such as Quatre's first love or J'Amier's ability to ride elephants.

The two were definitely a perfect pair. By the time fifteen minutes had gone by, Quatre had taken J'Amier's hand and she had leaned up against him chest.

"I'm glad we came Quatre" He smells so good. Not just like the cologne he wears, but just a scent. Maybe it's his laundry soap. Or maybe…it's just him. I dunno. Like vanilla…so good.

"Me too." I missed having a girlfriend. So very much, and I didn't even know it. "Look J'Amier, Catheringe's throwing knives."

It was true. Trowa's part in the circus had come at last. The crowd oohed and awwed and held their breath as knives buried into the wood centimeters from Trowa's body. Catherine had greet skill, there was no doubt in that.

She threw her last knife and bowed. Trowa followed suit and the crowd cheered harder. Trowa then left the ring. The ringmaster waited a moment for the clapping to die down, and made an announcement.

"Now, to show off our Catherine's great skill, we will pick one of the young people in the chairs to come up for us." The crowd cheered.

Catherine sauntered out of the ring with the spotlight following and walked around the VIP chairs. "Who wants to come up?" Duo, who seemed the perfect volunteer, stayed quiet.

"I will." Heero startled them all.

"But Heero…you can't!" Ralara protested.

"I'll be fine." With that, he heaved himself up onto his crutches and swung his way back to the ring with Catherine.

"And we have our volunteer!" The crowd, of course, cheered again.

Catherine helped him stand in position. He looked right at her, determined to be as strong as Trowa. Remember this? I remember. We can do it right? No chickening out? Aiden asked himself. Of course, the soldier replied, None. Heero locked his eyes on Catherine.

The knives whizzed by, reminding him of his past. One throw pinned his shirt to the wood, but none hit him. At the end of the act, Catherine retrieved her knives, and bowed. Heero followed suit. There was thunderous applause, especially from a girl with auburn colored hair in the VIP chairs.

* For those of you who are confused, Heero has a split personality. The Perfect Soldier is the 'Heero' part of him, the boy is Aiden, who he was before training. Aiden is the one in control now, and he has to deal with the pain of their injury. That's why Heero's hurting so much. Got it?

** You know, those seats that the circus people sit in real close while you're stuck on bleacher and feeling very much like a canned sardine? Those VIP seats.