~*Author's Note*~ I was inspired by watching Moulin Rouge, so I decided to
do a Sam/Frodo love medley. My little sister's Britney Spears obsession
takes its toll. You'll see….. Oh and a quick thanks to Cliffhanger for the
'I'm A Slave For You ' idea. And to Princess Jennalea – heeeeeeeeere's
GOLLUM! (kinda…) THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! When I saw them all (I was
away for 2 days) I was so happy I ran around the house doing happy
cheerleader moves! NOT a good idea, as I am not a cheerleader….Anyway,
really thank you. I mean it. Seriously. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! THANK YOU
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he he
The Fellowship was walking. And walking. Merry, who was convinced that Mr. Whiskers had 'cat nip pneumonia' and was going to die soon, carried him on a stretcher made of vines and leaves, playing weird monk chants on his portable C.D player next to him carrying a lit candle. Pippin, meanwhile, was being carried by Gimli (YAY! I actually made him do something!) drooling Slim Fast. Aragorn was gnawing happily on a stick of butter, which he had captured and blackmailed an elf by saying he would make him wear a wig of Aragorn's hair if he didn't give it to him. Frodo and Sam were walking at the end of the group, Frodo singing Usher's 'U Got It Bad' under his breath. Aragorn pulled out the map.
"Now……….it says here that the secret butter springs are beyond Mashed Potato Hill.. Then, we must pass the dreaded…." He continued in a whisper, "broccoli flatlands." Merry looked up.
"The…dreaded…" Merry lowered his voice, "broccoli flatlands?" he whispered. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Be strong Merry." Said Boromir.
"You……DO KNOW what is in…" he whispered, "The dreaded broccoli flatlands., don't you?'
"What?" asked Merry in a shaky voice.
"Well, you see, parents always tell you to eat your vegetables…but do you know what really happens when you actually…DO?" Aragorn asked. The pair shook their heads. "The tortured souls of the eaten vegetables roam the…" he lowered his voice. broccoli flatlands, turning everyone they touch into…" he shuddered. "A turnip."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT A TURNIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Boromir yelled, running to corner and hugging his knees saying, 'not a turnip, no please anything but a turnip.' Gandalf took off Mrs. Leathery The Hat and turned to Aragorn and Merry.
"Aragorn….I think you have to tell them about pea valley."
"Ah yes," said Aragorn, looking into the distance. "Pea valley." (angels sing in the background.) "The most fairest place in all of Middle Earth. This is the realm of the beautiful Pea-Headed elves."
"Ahhhhh….pea valley…" whispered Gandalf. "Mrs. Leathery The Hat always told me she dreamed of going there. And now, Mrs. Leathery The Hat will get her wish."
~*Meanwhile…*~
" Mr. Frodo, I really think you should give me a chance." Said Sam for the 1 millionth time.
"No."
"But-"
"No."
"But-"
"No."
"But-"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"I'M A SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE FOR YOU!
I WON'T DENIE IT! I'M NOT TRYING TO HIDE IT!" sang Sam, spontaneously bursting into song
"I THINK I DID IT AGAIN! I MADE YOU BELIEVE WE'RE MORE THAN JUST FRIENDS!" sang Frodo.
"YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY! I JUST CAN'T SLEEP!
I'M SO EXCITED, I'M IN TOO DEEP!!"
"I'M STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY!
IT'S NOTHIN' BUT MYYYYYYYYYY WAAAYYY MY
LONLINESS AIN'T KILLING ME NO MORE!!"
"I'M NOT A GIRL NOT YET A WOMAN!" (music suddenly stops) "Oh, wait, wrong song." Said Sam. Then he remembered Moulin Rouge, one of the best movies in the world.
"WE SHOULD BE LOVERS!!!!"
"We can't do that." Sang along Frodo.
"WE SHOULD BE LOVERS AND THAT'S A FACT!!"
"Only mushrooms…could keep us together………."
"We could steal some….just for one day."
" WE COULD EAT MUSHROOMS………FOREVER AND EVER! WE COULD EAT MUSHROOMS…..FOR EVER AND EVER!!" they sang together.
"JUST BECAUSE IIIIIIIIIIII WILL SAVE MR.WHISKERS WITH YOU!"
"IIIIIIIIIIIII WILL HAVE TO TOLERATE THAT TOO!" sang Frodo. Then- "No…wait." He said. "I-I can't do this."
"Is there….someone else?' Sam whispered in horror.
"Yes Sam. I'm sorry."
"W…ho…?" Sam said, almost in tears. Frodo sighed.
"Gollum. Yes Sam, I love Gollum. He's so good to me, and I LOVE the sexy way he croaks….." Sam started to sob. "And those giant, creepy eyes…..and his weird, long fingers…."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sam yelled, running away. "NOT GOLLUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!"
Merry, looking at the hobbits, sighed and petted Mr. Whiskers gently on the head, attempting to feed him his special 'cat nip pneumonia antidote' but not succeeding because, of course, Mr. Whiskers was stuffed. He sniffed sadly. He just hoped Mr. Whiskers would be o.k.
The Fellowship was walking. And walking. Merry, who was convinced that Mr. Whiskers had 'cat nip pneumonia' and was going to die soon, carried him on a stretcher made of vines and leaves, playing weird monk chants on his portable C.D player next to him carrying a lit candle. Pippin, meanwhile, was being carried by Gimli (YAY! I actually made him do something!) drooling Slim Fast. Aragorn was gnawing happily on a stick of butter, which he had captured and blackmailed an elf by saying he would make him wear a wig of Aragorn's hair if he didn't give it to him. Frodo and Sam were walking at the end of the group, Frodo singing Usher's 'U Got It Bad' under his breath. Aragorn pulled out the map.
"Now……….it says here that the secret butter springs are beyond Mashed Potato Hill.. Then, we must pass the dreaded…." He continued in a whisper, "broccoli flatlands." Merry looked up.
"The…dreaded…" Merry lowered his voice, "broccoli flatlands?" he whispered. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Be strong Merry." Said Boromir.
"You……DO KNOW what is in…" he whispered, "The dreaded broccoli flatlands., don't you?'
"What?" asked Merry in a shaky voice.
"Well, you see, parents always tell you to eat your vegetables…but do you know what really happens when you actually…DO?" Aragorn asked. The pair shook their heads. "The tortured souls of the eaten vegetables roam the…" he lowered his voice. broccoli flatlands, turning everyone they touch into…" he shuddered. "A turnip."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT A TURNIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Boromir yelled, running to corner and hugging his knees saying, 'not a turnip, no please anything but a turnip.' Gandalf took off Mrs. Leathery The Hat and turned to Aragorn and Merry.
"Aragorn….I think you have to tell them about pea valley."
"Ah yes," said Aragorn, looking into the distance. "Pea valley." (angels sing in the background.) "The most fairest place in all of Middle Earth. This is the realm of the beautiful Pea-Headed elves."
"Ahhhhh….pea valley…" whispered Gandalf. "Mrs. Leathery The Hat always told me she dreamed of going there. And now, Mrs. Leathery The Hat will get her wish."
~*Meanwhile…*~
" Mr. Frodo, I really think you should give me a chance." Said Sam for the 1 millionth time.
"No."
"But-"
"No."
"But-"
"No."
"But-"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"I'M A SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE FOR YOU!
I WON'T DENIE IT! I'M NOT TRYING TO HIDE IT!" sang Sam, spontaneously bursting into song
"I THINK I DID IT AGAIN! I MADE YOU BELIEVE WE'RE MORE THAN JUST FRIENDS!" sang Frodo.
"YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY! I JUST CAN'T SLEEP!
I'M SO EXCITED, I'M IN TOO DEEP!!"
"I'M STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY!
IT'S NOTHIN' BUT MYYYYYYYYYY WAAAYYY MY
LONLINESS AIN'T KILLING ME NO MORE!!"
"I'M NOT A GIRL NOT YET A WOMAN!" (music suddenly stops) "Oh, wait, wrong song." Said Sam. Then he remembered Moulin Rouge, one of the best movies in the world.
"WE SHOULD BE LOVERS!!!!"
"We can't do that." Sang along Frodo.
"WE SHOULD BE LOVERS AND THAT'S A FACT!!"
"Only mushrooms…could keep us together………."
"We could steal some….just for one day."
" WE COULD EAT MUSHROOMS………FOREVER AND EVER! WE COULD EAT MUSHROOMS…..FOR EVER AND EVER!!" they sang together.
"JUST BECAUSE IIIIIIIIIIII WILL SAVE MR.WHISKERS WITH YOU!"
"IIIIIIIIIIIII WILL HAVE TO TOLERATE THAT TOO!" sang Frodo. Then- "No…wait." He said. "I-I can't do this."
"Is there….someone else?' Sam whispered in horror.
"Yes Sam. I'm sorry."
"W…ho…?" Sam said, almost in tears. Frodo sighed.
"Gollum. Yes Sam, I love Gollum. He's so good to me, and I LOVE the sexy way he croaks….." Sam started to sob. "And those giant, creepy eyes…..and his weird, long fingers…."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sam yelled, running away. "NOT GOLLUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!"
Merry, looking at the hobbits, sighed and petted Mr. Whiskers gently on the head, attempting to feed him his special 'cat nip pneumonia antidote' but not succeeding because, of course, Mr. Whiskers was stuffed. He sniffed sadly. He just hoped Mr. Whiskers would be o.k.
