Hey, guys! Sorry it took so long for me to get the second chapter out. I have limited time to write with school and all. Anyway, I'm really happy with the reviews, even though they're not quite as many as I'm hoping for, but this is just my first Escaflowne fanfic, so I can understand. Ok, just to clear some things up, this story happens after the series, and all the interaction between Van and Hitomi after she left never happened, ok? Although it's very angsty right now, it will get better, I promise. I know it's really confusing, but it'll come together (hey, that's a Beatles song!) Speaking of the Beatles, if you couldn't tell already, I'm labeling each chapter with a Beatles song (kind of like in Cowboy Bebop). I'm not ripping it off or anything; I just really love the Beatles! Anyway, here it goes.

Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne or any of its characters

*********************************************************************

"What is the shape of my life?"

"What is the sound of the rain?"

*******************I'll Cry Instead****************************************

by Cev

Chapter 2: Carry that Weight

***********************************************************************

"Hitomi."

"Hitomi."

"Hitomi."

"Hitomi."

"What?! Who's calling me?!?!"

"Hitomi!"

"No!! Stop!"

"Hitomi, please! I need to tell you something!"

". . . It's you . . ."

"Hitomi. I lov-"

"No! Don't say that! Don't say that word!"

"Please." Hitomi sat up in her bed, eyes wide and red, "I can't handle that."

The young blonde, abruptly becoming conscious that she wasn't dreaming anymore, wiped her eyes, confused and tired. It was Sunday. Amano and Yukari are still packing. It's been a week since they told her. Hitomi gently touched her temples, feeling a headache coming. It was still dark; there wasn't a hint of any rays of light that would reveal morning.

She blinked.

And everything was red.

Red? Hitomi wondered. Every single object in her room had suddenly been cast in a pinkish-red light, leaving no room for any other color.

"I'm going crazy." She rubbed her eyes again, thinking that it might somehow help. Of course it didn't, the light just got brighter. Hitomi looked around for a source, noting that the light was especially bright below her bed. "Great.now I have monsters under my bed . . . ."

She hung her head over the side, pulling up the skirt. In a blinding flash, the light that coated the room dimmed, and a pink halo surrounded a small, glittering jewel. Hitomi, in amazement, fell off the bed, landing in a rather uncomfortable position on the floor. She rushed to look under the bed again, thinking the curious object would disappear if she took her eyes off it for a split second.

Hitomi grabbed her head, pushing against her temples. A loud ringing pierced into her mind.

Someone's calling her.

Someone's trying to reach her.

She reached out under the bed, clasping the glowing necklace in her hand. She stood, shaking off a foreboding feeling, and slowly opened her hands, as if she had caught a rare butterfly. She looped the thin gold chain around her finger, letting the pendant fall. A long, pink, teardrop-shaped jewel was suspended by intricately designed gold and silver, and moved back and forth as a pendulum. Hitomi placed it over her head and on her neck. Why had she never seen this before? She'd have certainly noticed it when she was unpacking her stuff last year in this apartment.

The apartment.

It was getting hazy.

Her apartment was melting in her eyes.

Well, who needed an apartment anyway?

That screaming again. That calling. It built up in her ears, tearing at her eardrums.

But the phone's not ringing.

Hitomi covered her eyes. She was crying again, and she was tired. Everything was blurry. She couldn't see her hands in front of her face.

It was then, she thought, Maybe I'm dying. Maybe I'm the one melting away. Maybe, this time, I'm really going to fade away . . . . . . .

************************************************************************

"You see that girl over there?"

"Yeah! I know her, she's on the track team."

"She's a top athlete. Some of the other girls on the team say when you run; you can hear the wind in your ears like a ringing sound. They told me when she runs it's a siren."

"What poetic nonsense."

"Isn't it? Some people are just fools."

"You remember when she disappeared? Like she just vanished . . . "

"Oh, yeah, wasn't that crazy? They thought someone had abducted her."

"Someone did abduct her."

"What? Who said that?"

"She did."

"Who was it?"

"I heard her mumbling one day . . . something about someone with wings."

"Weird!"

"I know. She's so strange."

"She's really odd."

"She's so forgetful."

"And very blind."

"She's incredibly sad."

"And so removed."

"You know, she's so forgetful." . . . . . . "Yeah, she's really forgetful."

************************************************************************

Red.

Everything's red again.

"Not again." Hitomi grumbled, her eyes suddenly becoming aware of the dark color so close to her face. It was tangible, too. She could feel the red. The heat emaciating from it. It wasn't soft and pink like before. And it wasn't wine. It was tough, it was hard, and it hurt.

It hurt deeply.

Hitomi lifted her elbows and placed her hands on either sides of her adamant body, and lifted her weak form from her facedown situation. The familiar red track distinguished itself before her, and she knew where she was.

So many memories here. She's left here once, and came back here once.

"How did I get here?"

"How do I leave?"

Hitomi looked around the high school track, trying to discern some movement in a tree, behind the stands, trying to find the culprit that brought her here. Something wasn't right.

Something in the air wasn't the same.

It doesn't smell like Earth, she thought.

It's cleaner, fresher, and untainted.

So why is it so familiar?

"Show yourself to me!" Hitomi demanded, getting nervous.

Just as the words slipped from her careless mouth, blue light began to spill over the horizon. It poured like a waterfall and leaked into the shadows. A huge orb rose above the trees, above the school, above the sky, and with it came the wind. Hitomi, eyes wide, body frozen, just stared.

My feet aren't working, she thought.

Why won't my legs work?

Are they dead?

Am I dead?

Am I in Hell?

Her feet aren't working, and they're being covered by water.

Hitomi looked down, and noticed the water now, sloshing against trees, sloshing against her ankles.

Crawling above her knees, covering her stomach. She was sinking, sinking in an emotionless world.

The water climbed above her eyes, and everything was blue. The red track was gone, and so were the trees, and the stars. She was falling again. Sinking.

Only this time, there weren't any wings.

There wasn't any warmth.

************************************************************************

Yay! Another chapter finished! Please tell me how you feel about it! I really appreciate it! Thank you so much to those who are reading the story. See ya'll soon. Pray for our military!

Love and Hope

Cev