After the horrible experience that Merry and Mr. Whiskers had going
through the broccoli flatlands, Merry kept babbling about the horrible
killer broccoli, and how they were going to eat him if he didn't get weed
killer. Mr. Whiskers couldn't talk, but he had a horrified expression on
his stuffed face. The fellowship thought that they might have to put the
pair in the mental hospital, Broccoli-Unified-Leading-Laboratory for-Scared-
Hobbits-In-Terror, or B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T for short. But, instead, they decided
to do something much cheaper. They decided to buy cupcakes. But, they had
no money. A big problem.
"WE could just MAKE some cupcakes……." Said Gimli.
"YOU IDIOT, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THEM OUT OF, GRASS AND MUD?!" yelled Boromir.
"Well, I actually have some baking materials that we coul-"
"SHUT UP SAM!!!" everybody yelled.
"As for the grass part, I've got some REALLY good ones, makes you incredibly high in like-"
"SHUT UP GANDALF!!!" everybody yelled. Suddenly, a very fat hot pink cat walked up to the fellowship.
"Mr. Whiskers," he said in a deep weird voice, "I am your cousins' brothers' sisters' aunts', grandmothers', college room mate's, second cousin twice removed's neighbor in a past life, Mr. Chubby Cheeks." Mr. Whisker's face did not change, as he is stuffed. Mr. Chubby Cheek's paused. "You are probably wondering why I am here."
"Yes yes, we are." Said the fellowship.
"I have been brought here to guide you, and learn you in the ways of the Publix Stealing Squad. "
"THE PUBLIX STEALING SQUAD??" everyone asked.
"Yes. You wanted cupcakes, did you not?"
"Yes…"
"Well, I suppose you could say I am the guardian of cupcakes. The chocolate ones with the pink frosting and the multicolored sprinkles….. how did you think I got my chubby cheeks?" Everyone looked around. "My full name is Mr. Supreme Cupcake Ruler Of All Things Cupcakey and Chocolately and Hot Pinkey and Spinklely, The Ultra Chubby Cheeks of the Honored Publix Stealing Squad." He paused. "And so, that brings us to your cupcake problem. You have no money. So, you must go to Publix, and steal them."
"WHAT?! ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANT US TO STEAL CUPCAKES?!" said Aragorn. "I am King Aragorn, I DO NOT steal cupcakes."
"You WILL steal cupcakes, or I will take you to Sauruman's nail manicurist and have your nails filed down to long freaky points and dress you all in white, the most boring color ever." Aragorn shuddered.
"FINE, I suppose I will……..havetostealcupcakes."
"Good then." Said Mr. Chubby Cheeks. He took out a metal cupcake from……somewhere…….and opened up the iceinged top and pressed a hot pink button. A Publix immediately appeared in front of the fellowship. Mr. Chubby Cheeks walked in, followed by everyone else. "Now, we must head to the bakery. The first rule is, act cool." He said, going into the bakery. It was hard to act cool when you are an Elf, two men, a dwarf, four hobbits, a high wizard puffing on a twelve inch pipe, a stuffed cat and another extremely fat hot pink cat. Mr. Chubby Cheeks grabbed two boxes of chocolate cupcakes with *gasp* hot pink frosting and multicolored sprinkles. It was then that they saw a Publix security guard making his way toward the bakery. "QUICK!" yelled Mr. Chubby Cheeks, throwing the boxes at Sam. "DO SOMETHING!" Sam stuffed the cupcakes down his shirt. The security guard walked by, whistling. He stared at Sam's shirt.
"Hey buddy, are you ok?" he asked. Sam nodded, looking for a response.
"Oh yes, yes, I'm, uh, fine." Said Sam, rubbing his now incredibly large belly. "I'm just, uh, pregnant." The security guard stared. Sam slung his arm around Frodo. "He's the father." Frodo stared in horror.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' he screamed, running into aisle 6, the frozen food section. Sam watched him go, as he could not run after him with the cupcakes down his shirt.
"R…i…g…h…t…….." said the guard, backing away slowly. Mr. Chubby Cheeks nodded.
"Good going Sam, you handled that situation VERY well." The rest of the fellowship likewise piled cupcakes down their shirts. They snuck out of the Publix, getting really weird looks from everyone. They all unloaded their cupcakes on the ground and began to eat them, when Sam suddenly screamed,
"OH NO!!!!!!!! WE'VE LEFT MR. FRODO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he said, running back into the Publix. He remembered that Frodo had run into aisle 6, the frozen food section, so he went there first. He saw Frodo curled up in one of the freezers, eating an Eggo Waffle. He opened the door and pulled Frodo out. "No Mr. Frodo, you can't die on me, not after all we've been through!"
"No Sam, I'm fine-"
"I'LL NEVER LET GO MR. FRODO! I'LL NEVER LET GO!"
"Sam, I'm REALLY OK-"
"I can't go on without you Mr. Frodo. HANG ON!!!"
"Sam, I'm really not hurt-" But Sam slung Frodo up over his shoulders and carried him out of the Publix, dumping him on the grass outside by the billions of cupcakes.
"MR FRODO ALMOST DIED!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled. Frodo rolled his eyes.
"Well, my work here is done." Said Mr. Chubby Cheeks, opening his metal cupcake and pushing the hot pink button. The Publix disappeared, and with a wink Mr. Chubby Cheeks did too.
Merry sighed, petting Mr. Whiskers, trying to feed him a cupcake, but, of course, Mr. Whiskers is stuffed. He sniffed, petting his head. He knew he would see Mr. Chubby Cheeks again one day. One Day.
~*Author's Note*~ Yes, extremely weird, and completely insane. (Which would make sense b/c the story is named Complete Insanity ^_^) My muse Mr. Whiskers has been nice and given me a good chapter. (I hope) I HOPE!! A GIANT, GIANT THANKS TO ALL OF MY FAITHFUL REVIEWERS! You have given me more happiness that you can ever comprehend. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!! I LIVE FOR THEM, I WORSHIP THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEM ALONE!!!!!!!!! YEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"WE could just MAKE some cupcakes……." Said Gimli.
"YOU IDIOT, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THEM OUT OF, GRASS AND MUD?!" yelled Boromir.
"Well, I actually have some baking materials that we coul-"
"SHUT UP SAM!!!" everybody yelled.
"As for the grass part, I've got some REALLY good ones, makes you incredibly high in like-"
"SHUT UP GANDALF!!!" everybody yelled. Suddenly, a very fat hot pink cat walked up to the fellowship.
"Mr. Whiskers," he said in a deep weird voice, "I am your cousins' brothers' sisters' aunts', grandmothers', college room mate's, second cousin twice removed's neighbor in a past life, Mr. Chubby Cheeks." Mr. Whisker's face did not change, as he is stuffed. Mr. Chubby Cheek's paused. "You are probably wondering why I am here."
"Yes yes, we are." Said the fellowship.
"I have been brought here to guide you, and learn you in the ways of the Publix Stealing Squad. "
"THE PUBLIX STEALING SQUAD??" everyone asked.
"Yes. You wanted cupcakes, did you not?"
"Yes…"
"Well, I suppose you could say I am the guardian of cupcakes. The chocolate ones with the pink frosting and the multicolored sprinkles….. how did you think I got my chubby cheeks?" Everyone looked around. "My full name is Mr. Supreme Cupcake Ruler Of All Things Cupcakey and Chocolately and Hot Pinkey and Spinklely, The Ultra Chubby Cheeks of the Honored Publix Stealing Squad." He paused. "And so, that brings us to your cupcake problem. You have no money. So, you must go to Publix, and steal them."
"WHAT?! ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANT US TO STEAL CUPCAKES?!" said Aragorn. "I am King Aragorn, I DO NOT steal cupcakes."
"You WILL steal cupcakes, or I will take you to Sauruman's nail manicurist and have your nails filed down to long freaky points and dress you all in white, the most boring color ever." Aragorn shuddered.
"FINE, I suppose I will……..havetostealcupcakes."
"Good then." Said Mr. Chubby Cheeks. He took out a metal cupcake from……somewhere…….and opened up the iceinged top and pressed a hot pink button. A Publix immediately appeared in front of the fellowship. Mr. Chubby Cheeks walked in, followed by everyone else. "Now, we must head to the bakery. The first rule is, act cool." He said, going into the bakery. It was hard to act cool when you are an Elf, two men, a dwarf, four hobbits, a high wizard puffing on a twelve inch pipe, a stuffed cat and another extremely fat hot pink cat. Mr. Chubby Cheeks grabbed two boxes of chocolate cupcakes with *gasp* hot pink frosting and multicolored sprinkles. It was then that they saw a Publix security guard making his way toward the bakery. "QUICK!" yelled Mr. Chubby Cheeks, throwing the boxes at Sam. "DO SOMETHING!" Sam stuffed the cupcakes down his shirt. The security guard walked by, whistling. He stared at Sam's shirt.
"Hey buddy, are you ok?" he asked. Sam nodded, looking for a response.
"Oh yes, yes, I'm, uh, fine." Said Sam, rubbing his now incredibly large belly. "I'm just, uh, pregnant." The security guard stared. Sam slung his arm around Frodo. "He's the father." Frodo stared in horror.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' he screamed, running into aisle 6, the frozen food section. Sam watched him go, as he could not run after him with the cupcakes down his shirt.
"R…i…g…h…t…….." said the guard, backing away slowly. Mr. Chubby Cheeks nodded.
"Good going Sam, you handled that situation VERY well." The rest of the fellowship likewise piled cupcakes down their shirts. They snuck out of the Publix, getting really weird looks from everyone. They all unloaded their cupcakes on the ground and began to eat them, when Sam suddenly screamed,
"OH NO!!!!!!!! WE'VE LEFT MR. FRODO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he said, running back into the Publix. He remembered that Frodo had run into aisle 6, the frozen food section, so he went there first. He saw Frodo curled up in one of the freezers, eating an Eggo Waffle. He opened the door and pulled Frodo out. "No Mr. Frodo, you can't die on me, not after all we've been through!"
"No Sam, I'm fine-"
"I'LL NEVER LET GO MR. FRODO! I'LL NEVER LET GO!"
"Sam, I'm REALLY OK-"
"I can't go on without you Mr. Frodo. HANG ON!!!"
"Sam, I'm really not hurt-" But Sam slung Frodo up over his shoulders and carried him out of the Publix, dumping him on the grass outside by the billions of cupcakes.
"MR FRODO ALMOST DIED!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled. Frodo rolled his eyes.
"Well, my work here is done." Said Mr. Chubby Cheeks, opening his metal cupcake and pushing the hot pink button. The Publix disappeared, and with a wink Mr. Chubby Cheeks did too.
Merry sighed, petting Mr. Whiskers, trying to feed him a cupcake, but, of course, Mr. Whiskers is stuffed. He sniffed, petting his head. He knew he would see Mr. Chubby Cheeks again one day. One Day.
~*Author's Note*~ Yes, extremely weird, and completely insane. (Which would make sense b/c the story is named Complete Insanity ^_^) My muse Mr. Whiskers has been nice and given me a good chapter. (I hope) I HOPE!! A GIANT, GIANT THANKS TO ALL OF MY FAITHFUL REVIEWERS! You have given me more happiness that you can ever comprehend. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!! I LIVE FOR THEM, I WORSHIP THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEM ALONE!!!!!!!!! YEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
