The Fellowship sat around the fire, toasting marshmallows and singing
fireside songs. Or, at least, Frodo was.
"MMMMMMMMMMM Bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du Yeeeeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" It was at that point Sam started singing with him, while break dancing. The horrible combination made Gandalf shoot Sam with a dart he had gotten while free climbing Cirith Ungol in his early years. Sam immediately fell over and started drooling, while muttering various phrases about "The X Files" and "The Truth is Out there"
"What did you DO to him?" Aragorn asked with interest, poking Sam with a stick.
"I shot him with a hallucination dart. I've used it myself many times. VERY VERY fun." Gandalf said with a sly smile, taking off Mrs. Leathery The Hat. "Isn't it fun, Mrs. Leathery The Hat?" He asked. Gandalf made Mrs. Leathery The Hat nod. Everyone stared at Sam with a mixture of pity and horror. It was then that Mr. Chubby Cheeks came back in a burst of hot pink light.
"I am back." Mr. Chubby Cheeks announced ominously. Two other balls of hot pink light flew in behind him, and materialized into…. DAVID DUCHOVNY and BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!! Screaming hordes of fangirls immediately launched themselves at David Duchovny, and he screamed and tried to hide behind a drooling Sam. Legolas stood up to try to help David Duchovny, but when the fangirls saw him they immediately launched themselves at Legolas.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Legolas yelled, running into the forest that conveniently appeared in front of him. The fangirls, still screaming, stampeded after him. Meanwhile, all the rest of the guys (excluding Sam) stared at Britney Spears in awe.
"So, umm…..you're not that innocent huh?" said Aragorn with (what he hoped was) a dashing, sexy smile. She rolled her eyes.
"Like, yeah, DUH, I sing that in my song, ok? Whatever." She said, twirling her hair.
"You can be my slave any day." Said Frodo breathlessly. Britney stared at him.
"Uh, yeah, NO, ok? And what is with your super bug-out-y eyes? And you're, like, so SHORT. What did you, like, not eat right as like, y' know, a kid or like, something?" She laughed at her own (completely stupid and pointless and not even funny) joke. Mr. Chubby Cheeks waddled up to them all.
"A sweetheart, isn't she?" he said, purring against her leg. Britney picked him up.
"OOOOOOOOO You're just so CWUTE, and SWEEEET, and FWUZZY, and HWUGGLABLE I CWOULD JWUST EAT YOU ALL UWP!" she said, cuddling Mr. Chubby Cheeks. Mr. Chubby Cheeks shot the Fellowship a look that said, "You see why I like her?" David Duchovny walked up slowly, still freaked from the fangirls.
"Are-are they gone?" he asked, looking around, terrified.
"Ah yes, " said Mr. Chubby Cheeks. "May I present Agent Fox Mulder." The Fellowship was silent.
"OHHHHH… do you mean FROM THE X-FILES?!!" said Merry excitedly. Mr. Chubby Cheeks nodded. "But how did you get him here?"
"I just told him that hot pink cupcakes were really an alien invasion sent here from Mars in the year 1998, and the people of Earth have been ingesting tiny aliens that have slowly been growing inside of them like in that movie "Alien" except slower, and all the aliens will hatch in six years. I told him I'm special F.B.I agent Chubby Cheeks, sent to capture any and every hot pink cupcake in America." He whispered to Merry, whipping out a fake F.B.I I.D. Merry looked at it.
"Mr. Chubby Cheeks, that's a picture of cheese." Mr. Chubby Cheeks looked at it.
"Yes, I do have a startling resemblance to Limburger Cheese don't I?" he said proudly. Merry stared.
"Umm, yeah, Mr. Whiskers? Just go play with nice Mrs. Leathery The Hat for a minute, ok?" Merry said, putting down Mr. Whiskers, who, once again, went nowhere because he is stuffed. Merry didn't seem to notice, though.
"Anyway, I'm sorry to say that Agent Mulder has suffered severe mental problems since I brought him to Middle Earth." Said Mr. Chubby Cheeks sadly.
"Caused from what?" said Aragorn. "Not enough butter?" he asked with a shudder.
"No…unfortunately several fangirl clubs have seen him, and have chased him around. He now has Post-traumatic Fangirl Stress Disorder." Mr. Chubby Cheeks said, motioning toward Mulder, who was huddled in a corner hugging his knees muttering, 'the truth is out there….fangirls are evil aliens….the truth is out there….' Mr. Chubby Cheeks sighed. "The only thing that will keep him quiet is butter." Aragorn got a wild gleam in his eye.
"Butter?" he asked, in a deadly quiet voice. "That dude has….. butter?" Mr. Chubby Cheeks looked at Aragorn.
"No no, Mr. Chubby Cheeks, just say no, say no, you don't know what you're doing-" said Merry quickly.
"Yes, I believe he has about 10 pounds of butter on him right now." Said Mr. Chubby Cheeks. Ignoring Merry was the worst mistake Mr. Chubby Cheeks ever made in his long life as a member of the Publix Stealing Squad. Aragorn got a crazy look.
"Butterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutter butterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutt erbutterbutter!!!BUTTER!!!!!!!!! BUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUUTTEERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled, throwing himself on top of Mulder.
~*Meanwhile….*~
"So yeah, I guess my favorite bikini was the one I got in Hawaii, with the leopard print and the little, like string bottoms!" squealed Britney happily, lost in the memories of her animal print bikini. Boromir, Frodo, Gandalf (who was still puffing on his 12 inch pipe) and Gimli were all watching her, drooling. Britney paused, looking at Gimli.
"Wow, I didn't see you back there." Gimli looked incredibly surprised that she talked to him. And in a nice voice, too. "Hey, you're actually kinda….cute." she said, sitting down next to him. "So, uh, what's your name.?"
"Gimli." Gimli choked out, still incredibly surprised. She giggled.
"Gimli, I like that. So Gimli, where're you from?" she said, braiding his beard.
"Anywhere you want me to be from baby." Answered Gimli.
~*Back with Mr. Chubby Cheeks…*~
"BUTTERBUTTERBUTTER!!!" said Aragorn happily, gnawing on a Land 'O Lakes stick of butter he had gotten from Mulder. Mulder was in a deep conversation about tiny aliens in hot pink cupcakes with Aragorn, while the only thing Aragorn could ay back was 'butter! YEY!!!' Legolas, gasping, collapsed in the grass next to Britney, finally away from the fangirls. His eyes widened in terror when he saw Britney Spears.
"NOO!!!! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!!!" He screamed, about to run again. It was at that point funny lights were seen in the sky.
"Heeeeeeeeeeey, cool lights dude." Said Gandalf. But he didn't think anything of it. He just thought he was seeing things, because he was incredibly high.
"Look at the lights Mr. Whiskers!" said Merry happily, pointing at the sky. The whole fellowship, Mr. Chubby Cheeks, Mr. Whiskers, Britney Spears, and Mulder all looked up at the lights in the sky. Then, A HUGE U.F.O. CAME OUT OF THE SKY AND HOVERED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FELLOWSHIP AND EVERY ONE ELSE!!!! A green beam of light came out of the U.F.O and sucked up Pippin, who was still in his Slim Fast coma!!!
"NOOOOO!!!! PIPPIN!!!!!" Merry yelled. The U.F.O. sucked him into their ship and flew away in a burst of hot pink light. (hot pink light…hmmm…..)
"Nonono, PIPPIN'S GONE!!!!" sobbed Merry and Frodo. Sam was still drooling. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they yelled up to the sky. Then, a mysterious voice came out of the sky as the U.F.O flew back, and Pippin materialized back on the grass where he had been lying.
"THIS ONE HAS TOO MUCH SLIM FAST IN HIM." The voice boomed. "AND HE IS SO SHORT. DIDN'T HE EAT RIGHT AS, LIKE, A KID?!" (hmm, the voice sounds suspiciously like Britney….hmmm….) Then, the U.F.O disappeared for good. Merry stroked Mr. Whiskers silently. It had been the weirdest, most disturbing chapter yet. Mulder looked up at the sky.
"The truth is out there….." he muttered.
~*Wow, insane, insane. Mulder. Britney Spears and Aliens that sound like Britney Spears. Scary, scary, scary. I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! The next one shall hopefully come MUCH SOONER!!! YEY!!!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!! A GIANT thanks to all my reviewers! Seriously! ESPECIALLY to Chibi-Cola. Basilisk, and Elendor! YOU GUYS ROCK!!! A GIANT THANKS TO EVERYONE!!!!
"MMMMMMMMMMM Bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du Yeeeeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" It was at that point Sam started singing with him, while break dancing. The horrible combination made Gandalf shoot Sam with a dart he had gotten while free climbing Cirith Ungol in his early years. Sam immediately fell over and started drooling, while muttering various phrases about "The X Files" and "The Truth is Out there"
"What did you DO to him?" Aragorn asked with interest, poking Sam with a stick.
"I shot him with a hallucination dart. I've used it myself many times. VERY VERY fun." Gandalf said with a sly smile, taking off Mrs. Leathery The Hat. "Isn't it fun, Mrs. Leathery The Hat?" He asked. Gandalf made Mrs. Leathery The Hat nod. Everyone stared at Sam with a mixture of pity and horror. It was then that Mr. Chubby Cheeks came back in a burst of hot pink light.
"I am back." Mr. Chubby Cheeks announced ominously. Two other balls of hot pink light flew in behind him, and materialized into…. DAVID DUCHOVNY and BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!! Screaming hordes of fangirls immediately launched themselves at David Duchovny, and he screamed and tried to hide behind a drooling Sam. Legolas stood up to try to help David Duchovny, but when the fangirls saw him they immediately launched themselves at Legolas.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Legolas yelled, running into the forest that conveniently appeared in front of him. The fangirls, still screaming, stampeded after him. Meanwhile, all the rest of the guys (excluding Sam) stared at Britney Spears in awe.
"So, umm…..you're not that innocent huh?" said Aragorn with (what he hoped was) a dashing, sexy smile. She rolled her eyes.
"Like, yeah, DUH, I sing that in my song, ok? Whatever." She said, twirling her hair.
"You can be my slave any day." Said Frodo breathlessly. Britney stared at him.
"Uh, yeah, NO, ok? And what is with your super bug-out-y eyes? And you're, like, so SHORT. What did you, like, not eat right as like, y' know, a kid or like, something?" She laughed at her own (completely stupid and pointless and not even funny) joke. Mr. Chubby Cheeks waddled up to them all.
"A sweetheart, isn't she?" he said, purring against her leg. Britney picked him up.
"OOOOOOOOO You're just so CWUTE, and SWEEEET, and FWUZZY, and HWUGGLABLE I CWOULD JWUST EAT YOU ALL UWP!" she said, cuddling Mr. Chubby Cheeks. Mr. Chubby Cheeks shot the Fellowship a look that said, "You see why I like her?" David Duchovny walked up slowly, still freaked from the fangirls.
"Are-are they gone?" he asked, looking around, terrified.
"Ah yes, " said Mr. Chubby Cheeks. "May I present Agent Fox Mulder." The Fellowship was silent.
"OHHHHH… do you mean FROM THE X-FILES?!!" said Merry excitedly. Mr. Chubby Cheeks nodded. "But how did you get him here?"
"I just told him that hot pink cupcakes were really an alien invasion sent here from Mars in the year 1998, and the people of Earth have been ingesting tiny aliens that have slowly been growing inside of them like in that movie "Alien" except slower, and all the aliens will hatch in six years. I told him I'm special F.B.I agent Chubby Cheeks, sent to capture any and every hot pink cupcake in America." He whispered to Merry, whipping out a fake F.B.I I.D. Merry looked at it.
"Mr. Chubby Cheeks, that's a picture of cheese." Mr. Chubby Cheeks looked at it.
"Yes, I do have a startling resemblance to Limburger Cheese don't I?" he said proudly. Merry stared.
"Umm, yeah, Mr. Whiskers? Just go play with nice Mrs. Leathery The Hat for a minute, ok?" Merry said, putting down Mr. Whiskers, who, once again, went nowhere because he is stuffed. Merry didn't seem to notice, though.
"Anyway, I'm sorry to say that Agent Mulder has suffered severe mental problems since I brought him to Middle Earth." Said Mr. Chubby Cheeks sadly.
"Caused from what?" said Aragorn. "Not enough butter?" he asked with a shudder.
"No…unfortunately several fangirl clubs have seen him, and have chased him around. He now has Post-traumatic Fangirl Stress Disorder." Mr. Chubby Cheeks said, motioning toward Mulder, who was huddled in a corner hugging his knees muttering, 'the truth is out there….fangirls are evil aliens….the truth is out there….' Mr. Chubby Cheeks sighed. "The only thing that will keep him quiet is butter." Aragorn got a wild gleam in his eye.
"Butter?" he asked, in a deadly quiet voice. "That dude has….. butter?" Mr. Chubby Cheeks looked at Aragorn.
"No no, Mr. Chubby Cheeks, just say no, say no, you don't know what you're doing-" said Merry quickly.
"Yes, I believe he has about 10 pounds of butter on him right now." Said Mr. Chubby Cheeks. Ignoring Merry was the worst mistake Mr. Chubby Cheeks ever made in his long life as a member of the Publix Stealing Squad. Aragorn got a crazy look.
"Butterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutter butterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutterbutt erbutterbutter!!!BUTTER!!!!!!!!! BUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUUTTEERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled, throwing himself on top of Mulder.
~*Meanwhile….*~
"So yeah, I guess my favorite bikini was the one I got in Hawaii, with the leopard print and the little, like string bottoms!" squealed Britney happily, lost in the memories of her animal print bikini. Boromir, Frodo, Gandalf (who was still puffing on his 12 inch pipe) and Gimli were all watching her, drooling. Britney paused, looking at Gimli.
"Wow, I didn't see you back there." Gimli looked incredibly surprised that she talked to him. And in a nice voice, too. "Hey, you're actually kinda….cute." she said, sitting down next to him. "So, uh, what's your name.?"
"Gimli." Gimli choked out, still incredibly surprised. She giggled.
"Gimli, I like that. So Gimli, where're you from?" she said, braiding his beard.
"Anywhere you want me to be from baby." Answered Gimli.
~*Back with Mr. Chubby Cheeks…*~
"BUTTERBUTTERBUTTER!!!" said Aragorn happily, gnawing on a Land 'O Lakes stick of butter he had gotten from Mulder. Mulder was in a deep conversation about tiny aliens in hot pink cupcakes with Aragorn, while the only thing Aragorn could ay back was 'butter! YEY!!!' Legolas, gasping, collapsed in the grass next to Britney, finally away from the fangirls. His eyes widened in terror when he saw Britney Spears.
"NOO!!!! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!!!" He screamed, about to run again. It was at that point funny lights were seen in the sky.
"Heeeeeeeeeeey, cool lights dude." Said Gandalf. But he didn't think anything of it. He just thought he was seeing things, because he was incredibly high.
"Look at the lights Mr. Whiskers!" said Merry happily, pointing at the sky. The whole fellowship, Mr. Chubby Cheeks, Mr. Whiskers, Britney Spears, and Mulder all looked up at the lights in the sky. Then, A HUGE U.F.O. CAME OUT OF THE SKY AND HOVERED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FELLOWSHIP AND EVERY ONE ELSE!!!! A green beam of light came out of the U.F.O and sucked up Pippin, who was still in his Slim Fast coma!!!
"NOOOOO!!!! PIPPIN!!!!!" Merry yelled. The U.F.O. sucked him into their ship and flew away in a burst of hot pink light. (hot pink light…hmmm…..)
"Nonono, PIPPIN'S GONE!!!!" sobbed Merry and Frodo. Sam was still drooling. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they yelled up to the sky. Then, a mysterious voice came out of the sky as the U.F.O flew back, and Pippin materialized back on the grass where he had been lying.
"THIS ONE HAS TOO MUCH SLIM FAST IN HIM." The voice boomed. "AND HE IS SO SHORT. DIDN'T HE EAT RIGHT AS, LIKE, A KID?!" (hmm, the voice sounds suspiciously like Britney….hmmm….) Then, the U.F.O disappeared for good. Merry stroked Mr. Whiskers silently. It had been the weirdest, most disturbing chapter yet. Mulder looked up at the sky.
"The truth is out there….." he muttered.
~*Wow, insane, insane. Mulder. Britney Spears and Aliens that sound like Britney Spears. Scary, scary, scary. I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! The next one shall hopefully come MUCH SOONER!!! YEY!!!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!! A GIANT thanks to all my reviewers! Seriously! ESPECIALLY to Chibi-Cola. Basilisk, and Elendor! YOU GUYS ROCK!!! A GIANT THANKS TO EVERYONE!!!!
