"Dammit, is anyone going to drive?" Tabitha complained.

Pietro stopped dead, ranting forgotten for the moment. "I wi-"

"NO!" Lance hollered. "Screw waiting for the driver. Move." Rogue, Remy and Fred laughed quietly as they heard a series of "Ow!"s and "Watch it!"s as Lance climbed over the other three Brotherhood members.

"That," Tabitha started, blinking hazily, "was unnecessary, Rocky. You stepped on Pietro's head!"

"Oops," he apologized sarcastically.

"Owwie." Pietro was ignored. "I SAID I have an OWWIE!!"

"No one cares," Lance told him as he started the limo.

"Do you even know how to drive this?" Tabitha asked him, frowning with the effort it took to think coherently.

"How hard can it be?"

"I HAVE AN OWWIE!!! IT'S PROBABLY A CONCUSSION!! I NEED HELP HERE, PEOPLE!!!"

"Yes, you do..." Lance muttered.

"God..." Todd mumbled, holding his head in pain. "Someone shut him up, please!"

Silently, the tinted glass slid down and Fred's bulky arm loomed out from the back seat. "Keep it down, Pietro. I'm not afraid to use this."

"And Ah," Rogue said, her dainty, pale hand coming into view, "am not afraid ta use this. Zip it."

Pietro growled. "You people always act so violently. All I want is some damn medical attention!!"

Todd had taken to searching his tiny space for any sort of first aid kit. Successfully finding one under his seat, he opened it up and pulled out medical gauze and aspirin. Then he proceeded to throw them at Pietro. "There! I think you can take care of the rest."

"I get what the aspirin's for, what's with the bandaging stuff?"

"To gag you with if you don't shuttup!!"

Pietro took to mumbling sullenly under his breath at a speed too fast for any of them to decipher.

"Aww... and here I was looking forward to a mummified Pietro!" Tabitha giggled.

Meanwhile, Lance was having the time of his life driving down the busy New York streets. "People really need to learn to how drive," he mumbled.

"Don' y' t'ink it's de ot'er way around?" Remy chuckled.

"I'm sorry, my name isn't Pietro or Tabitha, Gambit."

Remy continued to laugh. "Touche." A angered "Hey!" came from both of the aforementioned mutants.

Todd waved the bandage tape. "Shh."

"Wouldn't duct tape work better?" Rogue called from the back.

"Do you HAVE any duct tape?"

"No..."

"Well, then..."

"Come on, you can't tell me this thing doesn't have duct tape stored in some secret compartment. Hell, it has everythin' else."

"You got a point, yo." He reached over with his tongue and opened the glove compartment. "Ooh. A laptop."

"Ewww... Toad," Tabitha moaned.

"See?"

He waved the bandage tape so she could see. "Quiet."

"That threat won't work with me, Toad."

He hung his head. "I know... it was worth a try though."

"... No, it wasn't."

"Lemme have some sort of piece of mind that it did, okay?"

"Whatever melts yoah butter."

"Thank you."

Todd eyes were glittering with an unholy mixture of delight and curiosity as he went back to examining his find. "And it has an Internet connection. You know what THAT means, don't you, boys and girls? PORN!!!" This declaration was followed by gleeful, if demented, laughter.

"And this is why we don't have a computer at home," Tabitha groaned, shaking her head in her hands.

"I thought we couldn't afford one," Fred said, confused.

"That too, but I think it was mainly because of Frog Boy over here," Lance answered for Tabitha.

"Hey!"

"Oh, let's face it. All the guys at the house would be drooling over it," Tabitha sighed.

"Like you don't get your urges too," Pietro countered.

Tabitha's cheeks turned bright pink. "I don't know what you're talking about." Pietro grinned and whispered in her ear. "Shut up now!" She grabbed the medical tape from Todd and shoved it in Pietro's mouth. Every looked at her strangely and she offered them a giddy smile. "You know him."

"Ooookay..." Lance muttered. "I'm not going to ask what that was about because unlike some others in this limo I actually value my sanity..."

Remy snorted from the back seat and Rogue smacked him lightly. "Now, be nice. Let the boy have his delusions."

"Oh, man, there's this chick who looks like Tabby on here!"

"Give me that!"

"No way!"

Out of morbid curiosity, Rogue peeked over the window to catch a glimpse. "Oh mah gawd..." Her nose wrinkled up. "Ah will not drink, Ah will not drink."

Remy took his turn. "Damn..." he breathed. "Dat does look like y', p'tite." If Rogue didn't feel so sick she would have slapped him.

"Shuttup!" With one hand, Tabitha hit the button for the window to shut and with the other she reached across Todd to turn off the monitor. "No more!"

"Why so defensive? It wasn't like it was actually you... was it?" Lance asked warily.

"Of course it wasn't! It's just embarrassing!" Pietro was laughing hysterically through his gag. She pointed an ominous finger at him, but he just kept on snickering.

"I wonder..." Remy mused. "Toad, lemme see that?" Toad handed the laptop over.

Rogue watched her boyfriend with suspicion in her eyes, especially when he tilted the monitor away so she couldn't see. "What are ya doin', Swamp Rat?"

"Y'll find out in a minute," he told her with a grin.

"That's what Ah'm afraid of."

"You and everyone else," Fred muttered under his breath.

Remy snickered as he pulled himself into a corner of the limo and started tapping away furiously. A couple taps of the 'enter' key were heard and with each tap of that key a small bark of laughter escaped from the Cajun.

"Ah won't ask again," Rogue said sternly, her curiosity apparent in her voice.

"Anot'er minute or so..." he snickered again. His laughter was almost beginning to have a maniacal edge to it.

Tabitha looked to Rogue. "What could he be doing?" she whispered.

Rogue shrugged. "Ah'm scared... his sense of humor is even more sick an' twisted than mine."

"Such cruelty from one so beautiful..."

"Now Ah KNOW he's up to something."

"All I wanted was ONE normal day... That's all I wanted... One normal day free from perverted Cajuns, psychotic females, hyperactive nutcases, odoriferous kleptos, and bottomless pits..." Lance moaned.

"Hey, you're not exactly normal here, yo!" A pause, then, "And who are are calling odori- ordor-" Todd frowned as he tried to say the word.

"Odoriferous. It was on his 'Word of the Day' calendar," Pietro supplied having ripped off the duct tape when no one was looking. "It means 'Having or giving off an odor.' It can be either good or bad. I think Lance meant it as bad though."

Tabitha looked at him and blinked inquisitively. "What?" he asked innocently.

"Who gave you permission to talk?!?!"

"... I did?"

"Wrong answer, bucko." Tabitha lunged at him, her hand ready with more medical tape.

"Yeah, you just love this position, don't you?" Pietro laughed.

"Oh, my God, I hate you so much right now!" She shoved the medical tape at his face again, not caring if she hurt him in the least.

"Hey!" Todd grabbed her flailing body off of Pietro.

"Would you guys quit it?" Lance hollered. "I am trying to drive here if you hadn't noticed!"

Fred blinked out the windows. "Whoa... we're movin' and I didn't even realize it."

"How could that be: something happening without Fred's knowledge." Lance muttered flatly.

"Ah! Got it!" Remy cheered triumphantly.

"Do Ah even want ta see?"

"Doubt it," he responded promptly with a grin.

"Give me that!" She reached for the laptop.

He held it out of her reach. "What's the magic word, chere?"

"Hand it over NOW before Ah break yoah face!"

"But that's nine words."

"Technically it's eight words and a vowel," Fred corrected him. Everyone who was in a position to do so stared at him. "What?"

Rogue turned back to Remy. "You ARE aware that you need yoah spine in order to feel sensation in yoah lower body?" He handed her the laptop instantly and without a word. "Thank you." She opened it up, took one look at the monitor and shrieked. "Remy! You perv!" She smacked him with a laptop. "How the HELL did ya find a picture o' me lahke THAT?!"

Remy held his hands over his head in defense. "Not you! Remarkable resemblance though, non? O' course I had to edit in the white streaks..." Rogue gave him the evil eye.

"I wanna see!" That from Pietro again.

"OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!" Rogue and Remy yelled at him in unison.

"Tabby?" Lance sighed tiredly.

"On it!" This time, Tabitha found the strength to whip Pietro over her body and flop him onto Todd's lap. Todd's strong legs wrapped around Pietro's waist, pinning his arms to his body.

"Does this not look wrong to anyone else?!" Pietro yelped.

"Quiet!" Tabitha ripped a long piece of the medical tape off and all but smacked it onto Pietro's lips. Muffled obscenities could be heard underneath, but they were disregarded. Another piece and Pietro's eyes were covered as well.

"Ya know... now this looks wrong," Todd noted. "He's all bondagey..." Once that sick realization came to Todd his legs instantly retreated from Pietro's body. "I feel so... dirty."

"He's cleaner than you are. If anyone should feel dirty it should be him. But, yes, that did look wrong," Lance said from the driver's seat.

Tabitha eyed the wriggling Pietro who was one again trying to escape. "Hmm... I think somebody needs more tape..."

"MMMPH!!" The white-haired boy frantically shook his head back and forth.

Tabitha laughed manically. "How does it feel?" She extended another piece of the tape from the roll with a sickening sticking sound. Pietro made a sound she never thought she'd hear from him. A whimper?

"Shit..." Todd whispered in awe. "He's scared of you, yo."

Pietro shook his head furiously at the accusation, but kept his arms still.

"Any ideas where to stash him after this?" Lance asked with a smile.

"De trunk?" Remy suggested with a grin.

"Who are we? The mob?" Rogue asked sarcastically.

"I was actually thinking more along the lines of a dark, poorly ventilated room with Fred and a can of baked beans, but if you have some sort of connection that you haven't enlightened us all with yet, Remy, then be my guest," Lance smiled as he switched lanes on the highway.

At hearing that, Pietro screamed against his gag.

Todd listened for a moment. "'No... anything but that...'" he translated with a giggle.

Rogue grinned. "Pietro torture is just so much fun!"

"But all good things must come to an end... We're here," Lance announced as he pulled up in front of the mansion.

"Are you serious?" Tabitha whined. "Just when things were getting interesting." She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

"Well," Rogue started as she climbed out of the limo. "Today was definitely an adventure." She was clutching the cursed laptop to her chest.

"Yeah," Todd hopped out of the front seat first. "Full stomachs, met two really cute waitresses-" Pietro hmphed at that as Tabitha pushed him out of the seat. "Got to visit some really good porn sites. Yeah, this has been the best Christmas ever!" His eyes glazed over with joy.

"Christmas and porn in the same sentence. That's something I never thought I'd hear..." Fred said from the back seat.

"Bye," Rogue waved.

"Bye," everyone is the limo called back. "Merry Christmas!"

"You too."

The limo took off with a screech of tires and the smell of burnt rubber.

TBC...